Chapter Eighteen - Tristan

I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t fucking take it. I couldn’t accept that Ella was gone forever and there was nothing I could do. She was the only one for me, and I needed her back. I tried, I told myself that I had no choice but to move on, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t let her go. A week after I got the news she didn’t want to continue, I was still thinking of nothing but her. I missed her, missed everything about her, and I couldn’t just let that be it. I had to take action.

I called my event manager on my new phone, pacing as I did. I’d been pacing a lot since Ella left, filled with frustration and hurt and want.

“I need Ella’s address. I’m going after her,” I said, not wasting any time. This was ridiculous, everything about it was ridiculous, and I was tired of it.

“I cannot give you that. It’s against the law,” the event manager said.

“I need to talk to her,” I said slowly, drawing out every word. I was so sick of being told what I could not do about my own love life and my own feelings.

“It is against the law for you to speak to her again,” the event manager said.

“Then I guess I’m going to break the law today,” I responded, hanging up and immediately calling Peter in security. Ella was worth breaking the law for.

“Sir?” Peter said, answering my call right away.

“I need Ella’s address. I have to go after her. I need one more chance with her,” I said. I knew Peter would help me, even if it was against the law. He had always been the most reliable member of my staff, the closest person to a friend I’d had since I was a child.

“I’ll drive you there now,” Peter said. It sounded like he was smiling.

“You don’t need to track her address down?” I asked.

“I found it days ago. I had a feeling it might come in handy,” he said.

“Thank you,” I said, relieved. I didn’t thank people often, but I really was grateful for Peter, and his assistance.

An hour later, I was at Ella’s front door. Her eyes got wide when she saw me, and she crossed her arms over her chest protectively. She was dressed in a simple sweater and jeans, but I still wanted her, still thought she was the sexiest thing I had ever seen.

“Why are you here?” she asked, not meeting my eyes.

“You deleted your Facebook profile,” I said.

“I know,” she said, “I couldn’t look at it anymore.”

“I needed to talk to you, and I couldn’t reach you,” I said, stepping in closer. She didn’t move toward me, but she didn’t flinch away either. I took that as a good sign.

“I thought that was the idea, that my decision was final and we wouldn’t talk again,” she said. She still wasn’t meeting my eyes.

“Is that what you really want?” I asked. I needed her to give me another chance. I needed her. Maybe I had screwed up how I handled things. Maybe I should have told her in a different way, or earlier, or not at all, about the Facebook profiles. Whatever it was, I wanted to do it better now.

“I don’t even know how to look at you, after everything,” she said. I took a chance and reached out, tilting her chin up so she was meeting my eyes. She swallowed hard, looking nervous. “Ella, I have missed you every day since you left. I’ve thought of nothing but having you back,” I said. She shook her head softly but held my gaze.

“I’m so humiliated. I said those things to you, and you knew, and now everyone will know. How could I possibly be with you?” Ella said.

I took a deep breath to collect myself before telling her my feelings. “When I saw you at the festival, I wanted it to be true that you were the woman I knew online,” I started. “The woman I knew on Facebook was just as sexy and fascinating and intelligent. I wanted you to be the same person because,” I stopped and ran a hand through my hair, feeling less sure of myself than I was used to, thrown by the possibility that she would reject me, by how much power over my heart she was holding at this moment. “I had already fallen for you online, Ella. I’ve been in love with you for months now. So the thought of you being the same girl I couldn’t take my eyes off at the festival was so perfect that I needed it to be true. So I had the security person I trust most find out if it was true. No one else but him knows, and not even he knows anything we talked about.”

“I told you I’d been selected,” she said, but she dropped her arms, and I felt like she was listening.

“And I tried to look for you, even though I had no idea how I’d possibly know which woman was you,” I said. I was still not sure how I’d known, how I’d been so drawn to her unless it really was fate and I had to start believing in romantic ideas after all.

“But you found me,” she said.

“I did,” I said, cupping her face in my hands, just for a moment. She closed her eyes briefly at my touch, lids fluttering shut. I wanted to kiss her but didn’t yet. I dropped my hands, and her eyes followed them like she hadn’t wanted me to stop touching her.

“But the things I said to you, the things you know about me,” Ella said, eyes locked on mine now, “they’re hardly something that a proper lady, that royalty says. Don’t you want someone who--”

“I want you,” I said, cutting her off and shaking my head. “Fuck proper, Ella. I want you. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“I thought,” she started, before trailing off and biting her perfect pink lips.

“I love you,” I said, grabbing her hands in mine. “I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours.”

“I love you,” she said, squeezing my hands tightly and stepping in closer to me, “and I’ve been yours. From the start.”

“You told me once you were done running,” I said. I thought about getting down on one knee, asking her what I was about to ask more formally, kissing her hand, but neither of us was really traditional. Maybe that was why we worked so well together. Why we seemed to fit together. “So stop. And marry me.”

“I think I want to,” she said, making me feel like my heart was filling up my entire chest, like my rib cage was just the beating of my heart as I looked at Ella. “I do want to. Yes, I’ll marry you, Tristan.”

“I love you,” I said again, pulling her in and finally kissing her, feeling her sigh against me, her arms coming up around my neck, her mouth opening against mine.

“I never thought this could happen,” she said, lips a breath away from mine.

“Believe it,” I told her, kissing her as fully, as forcefully as I could. “And Ella, I want you to know that you never have to be embarrassed about anything you want. I would love to do everything we talked about online, and I would love it if you spent the rest of our lives telling me every filthy, sexy thought that comes into that brilliant head of yours.”

“I can do that,” she said, kissing me again. I meant it, I wanted nothing else at that moment but to spend the rest of my life loving her and making every day amazing for her.