Chapter Three
Olivia banged the door shut behind her and sank into bed. Maya had finally fallen asleep and she’d given their small apartment a thorough cleaning, and the weekend was the only time she had to get it done. She finally had some time to herself to think. What was she going to do now? Sophie was in town, Rufus was in town. And she was losing all control.
She pressed the pillow down over her face and screamed into it to muffle the sound. This was not going as planned. She had been satisfied with her life until the day before. How could it all change in the matter of a few hours?
She felt her phone beep and reached for it. It was a text from Sophie.
Hope to see you here tomorrow at eight for dad’s birthday. Parents are excited to see you after years xx
Olivia bit down on her lip, trying to not scream again. She couldn’t say no to that invitation. The Frosts had watched her grow and treated her like their own daughter when Sophie and she were younger. There was no valid reason that she could possibly come up with to avoid the birthday party. She would have to go.
She didn’t want to imagine what Rufus thought of her now. Did he think she was a stupid girl who got pregnant too young and had never managed to leave this town? She bit down on her lip harder. Why did she still care what Rufus thought of her? It was all over now.
Rufus. He still looked the same. The same as he had looked that night at the frat party, the day before he left for Chicago.
“You look lovely, Olivia,” he had whispered, leaning in towards her with the third can of beer in his hand. She had been counting. Olivia had not had a single drop of alcohol to drink that night. Everybody around her was drunk already, and Sophie was jumping into the pool, hurling herself in and splashing water on Olivia’s dress.
She couldn’t drink, even though she probably should have. It was all too painful. Rufus was going away. To her surprise, he found her in the crowd and decided to sit beside her and talk. Why?
Olivia had blushed at his remark.
“I guess it’s okay for me to tell you this now because I’m going away. Who knows when I’ll see you again? You’ve always looked lovely.” He whispered in her ear again, and then pulled himself away to look at her. Olivia was still blushing, convinced it was the beer talking. After all these years, nearly two decades of living around each other, she had never had a single clue from him that he had even looked at her in any other way than as his sister’s best friend.
She wasn’t complaining, though. She was basking in the glory, instead. What could be better than sitting so close to Rufus Frost? For some time, at least, she could forget that he was leaving town forever.
“You’ve always looked lovely, too,” Olivia said shyly, refusing to meet his eye. He was smiling, his eyes slightly glazed as he spoke. Rufus was never a heavy drinker, so she assumed the three beers had already got to him.
“Olivia…” He said her name and then reached for her hand. She couldn’t believe it. What was happening? Was he just saying goodbye or was this something more than that?
She didn’t wait for a response, or for him to complete his sentence. She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek instead. It was a simple, small kiss on the cheek, but as she pulled away he held her chin and pulled her face closer to him. Olivia could still feel it, still feel the speed at which her heart was racing when he placed his lips on hers. It was soft at first and then turned fierce. He wanted to devour her with his mouth. Her hands had flown to hold him tightly by the neck as they continued kissing.
“Rufus.” She mumbled his name when he pulled himself away. “What are we doing?” she asked meekly, but he was kissing her again. She heard the can of beer fall from his hand as he grabbed her by the waist, feeling the exposed skin on her back with his fingers.
“Do you want to go upstairs? To my room?” he whispered in her ear, and Olivia nodded her head. Of course she did. Whether Rufus was drunk or not, she was not going to pass up on this opportunity. She’d cherish his lips on her skin for the rest of her life.
He took her upstairs to his frat room, where they had quick unprotected sex. They hadn’t even entirely undressed when they enveloped each other in limbs, kisses, screams. It was her first time, but clearly not his. He knew what he was doing. He was gentle with her in spite of his drunken haze. She felt like he cared, like he wanted her to enjoy it.
For Olivia, it was all over too quickly. She watched him pull his clothes back on while she remained on his messy bed, curled up in the corner. She was smiling, though. It was the best night of her life.
“Hey. You alright?” Rufus asked after he had put on his clothes. She nodded, still smiling at him. How could she explain to him that he had just made all her dreams come true?
He walked up to her, bent down beside her and then kissed her forehead.
“I hope you don’t regret this, Olivia. If you do, I’m sorry,” he said, and with that, he was gone. He left the room, allowing her to sleep if she wanted to, and joined the party. He was probably taking care of his sister’s drunken mess.
Olivia stayed in his room the whole night, surrounded by the smell of him, his things, the warmth of him on his bed. She never wanted to leave, and she was happy there. But he didn’t return.
In the morning she returned home in a mess to finally sleep. Sophie was too hungover from the previous night to do anything that day and, by the time she was feeling better again the next day, her parents had already dropped Rufus off at the airport. Olivia never had a chance to say goodbye to him. She didn’t even know if he remembered that night.
The next week was a haze. Olivia could still hardly remember how she spent the next seven days. Rufus was gone. Forever. And the feeling finally hit her. She was grateful for the night they had spent together, after all those years of yearning for him. But in a way, it might have made her pain worse.
She partied every night and drank more than she ever had before.
It was during one of these nights, Olivia couldn’t remember clearly which one, that Craig Walker had kissed her and she had kissed him back. He then led her to one of the empty rooms in the house where they hurriedly undressed each other.
Olivia shook her head violently and sat up in bed. She didn’t want to think about those days anymore. Not what happened with Rufus, not what happened with Craig.
The emotional instability of that week had resulted in a pregnancy, in Maya. She didn’t want to blame anybody because Maya made her happy.
Her phone beeped again and she reached for her phone. It was Sophie. She had emailed her a web link, which Olivia clicked.
The link took her to a web page with a headshot of Craig Walker. It had been set up by his modeling agency to attract clients to hire him.
Olivia rolled her eyes but scrolled down the page anyway. Craig Walker was undeniably handsome. He was the complete polar opposite of Rufus, but handsome nonetheless. His face was heart shaped, he had rough stubble on his chin and his dark hair was in a carefully cultivated mess around his head. Craig was shirtless in most of the pictures on the website, and Olivia couldn’t help but smirk at the chiseled torso that Craig was flaunting. She could predict Sophie’s exact reaction when she saw them.
On cue, Sophie sent her a text.
You did that thing? You’ve seen those washboard abs in person?!
Olivia laughed and replied to the message with a quick “Goodnight”. Sophie was the last person she wanted to get into details of Craig with. Yes, she had seen those abs in person. They were not as carefully airbrushed as in these photographs, Olivia thought and fell back in bed again.
Craig had been an easy distraction, sure. He was there when she needed to feel somebody’s arms around her, but it had never meant anything. They’d been in the same class in school and then separated in college. Craig majored in Theatre, and she studied Literature, so she couldn’t even be sure if he remembered her.
Craig was good for that night, but Rufus was the one she couldn’t get over. And that was something that Sophie would never understand, nor find out.
No, seriously. He needs to know he has a daughter. It’s not fair.
Sophie’s message popped up on her phone again and Olivia gritted her teeth. She should never have told Sophie. In fact, she had managed to keep it a secret for a long time, until Sophie had bugged her enough about it and she had had to give her the father’s name.
She remembered Sophie’s reaction even then. How could Olivia have slept with Craig Walker? It was petty, Craig wasn’t even the guy she wanted, but Olivia had felt a second of victory when she saw the jealousy in Sophie’s eyes. How would Sophie react if she knew she had also slept with her brother?
It’s my life, Sophie. Drop it.
She wrote back and switched her phone off. She didn’t need any more distraction from her sleep. It was going to be hard as it is to fall asleep tonight for her, given that she had just met Rufus.
Did he remember? Was that why he was surprised and a little disappointed even to hear that she now had a child? Or had she imagined it? Was that the reaction she wished Rufus would have?
Judging by the gossip columns in the magazines and the entertainment shows, Rufus Frost was a notorious bachelor. His repertoire of dates ranged from supermodels, actresses and other celebrities, none of whom he had a serious relationship with. Or at least he had managed to hide it well. It meant two things for Olivia: that he had yet to settle down or fall in love, and that he was a player, although he was a charming player who made you forget that you were being played. She could understand why so many women fell for him. Despite his reputation, they wanted to tame him and try their luck at winning his heart.
Olivia sighed as she shut her eyes and tried to sleep. But she couldn’t possibly. Rufus’ face from that morning floated in front of her eyes, and then the image of him in the dark, hovering over her semi-naked body on a squeaky frat-house bed.
She had seen him like that, at his most vulnerable. She had felt him inside her at a time when nobody outside of their little town knew him. Did that mean anything to him? It meant a lot to Olivia that he had said she was lovely, that he had chosen her to sleep with on his last night in town, even though she would have to keep it a secret forever.