“Holy shit, Aaron!” Caleb’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “You have a son?”

“I didn’t know, either, until I stopped by Gage’s apartment to surprise him. He had no idea I was coming home, and so when he opened up the door, and there was a kid, I…” Aaron exhaled slowly. “I was confused. I thought that he’d been keeping a secret life from me, and that he’d had someone else’s baby. I was angry. But he told me the boy was mine, and I…”

“Fuck, what if he’s not?” Caleb shot back his liquor, then headed back to the cabinet. The cork clogging the neck of the same bottle he’d poured from before made a satisfying pop as he wrenched it loose. With a shake of his head, Caleb filled the shot glass back up, held the mostly empty bottle up to examine, then shrugged and downed what remained. When he returned to stand in front of Aaron, he put the shot glass down next to the first and gestured at them. “You need this more than I do, and even I feel like I need a drink. What the hell is going on in your life?”

“I don’t know,” Aaron admitted. He slumped back on the couch and tilted his head back until he stared at the tray ceiling. “I don’t know what to think or feel anymore. I was coming home to marry him, Caleb. I rushed through my PhD, gave up my summers and weekends, and pushed my lab team like crazy for… for this.” It occurred to Aaron that the ring was still in his pocket. He freed it and placed it on the table by the shot glasses. “I was going to propose tonight, and then…”

It felt like the ring was cursed, but Aaron knew that was a projection, and he tried his best not to entertain the notion. The problem was in himself and in Gage, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

Caleb looked at him flatly and spoke just as incredulously as he looked. “You were going to propose to him in your polar bear pajamas.”

“No.” Aaron planted a hand in front of his face. “I was going to propose to him over dinner, but we got sidetracked, so I was going to do it in bed.”

“So, technically, you were going to propose to him in your polar bear pajamas.” Aaron shot Caleb a look that made Caleb snicker. “I’m giving you a hard time. If you want me to stop, I will. Just… wow. What a shit show. I can see why you’d want some space.”

“I didn’t think Gage was that kind of person,” Aaron murmured. He kept his gaze on the engagement ring on the table. It was made of beveled black tungsten and engraved with a simple pattern to draw the eye and add texture. When Aaron had first seen it, he’d thought of the relationship he shared with Gage—sturdy and dependable, but nuanced in simple ways that made it unbelievably beautiful. If their relationship had been flashier, would it have made a difference? Would Gage have wanted to stay?

“I didn’t think Gage was that kind of person, either,” Caleb said. “But all the evidence is pointing toward there being some serious communication and trust issues.”

Caleb looked at the shot glasses, glanced at Aaron for permission, then snagged one from the table and downed it. The ensuing sigh of satisfaction was sinful. He set the shot glass down and returned to his armchair. “Says the guy who doesn’t do relationships, so, you know, take what I have to say with a grain of salt.”

“It’s complicated.”

Caleb laughed. “Fucking understatement of the year right there. You’re supposed to be the good son… how the hell am I going to top this?”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way,” Aaron said flatly, matching his brother’s earlier tone.

“Gee. Thanks.” Caleb grinned at him. “So, what are you going to do? Are you going to break it off with him? I mean, you haven’t proposed yet, so it’s not like you’re really tethered to him. The whole maybe-your-baby thing is troublesome, but you could set up child support if he is biologically yours.”

The thought pierced Aaron’s heart like molten shrapnel. “No.”

“I’d get a paternity test first, just to make sure it’s not that guy Knot’s baby, and then I’d move on.” Caleb fixed him with a hard look, a little less playful than he’d been before. “We’re only twenty-seven. We’ve got the rest of our lives to fall in love. What’s the hurry? Put this chapter behind you. All of us honorary cousins are grown up now, anyway—it’s not like you’d be tearing apart any friendships. All of us are mature enough that we’re not going to let a breakup force us into taking sides.”

“That’s not why I said no,” Aaron said. He looked between the shot glass on the table and the ring, then looked back at Caleb. “I don’t want to leave him.”

The words were simple, but saying them clicked a realization into place that Aaron hadn’t grasped before. He’d been furious, and frustrated, and upset, but it had been at the situation, not at Gage.

Never at Gage.

If Gage had been hiding the truth from him, fine. If he’d lied to Aaron’s face the whole time, Aaron could accept that. But the fact was, he was unquestionably, insanely, incredibly in love with Gage, and if that meant that Gage would be happier with someone else, Aaron could come to accept that. But before he let Gage go, he needed to find out the truth—about their relationship, about KnotMyProblem, and about Bo.

“Um?” Caleb furrowed his brow. “Then what are you doing here?”

“Taking some time to myself to snap back to my senses,” Aaron said. He got up from the couch, tugged Caleb’s t-shirt over his head, and tossed it at Caleb, who snatched it out of the air. “Thanks for helping me out. I know what I have to do.”

“Right.” Caleb eyed him suspiciously. He set the shirt on his lap. “So, that shot…?”

“You can have it—I’m heading back to the house.” Aaron’s body hummed, made light and energetic with adrenaline. Over the last few days, he’d learned that even his most careful calculations for the future weren’t a guarantee that what he’d planned would come to pass. Nothing in life was certain, and banking on a set plan was akin to setting himself up for failure.

He didn’t need a rebound or a paternity test. What he needed was to do his best to make things right, and if that couldn’t happen, at least he could say he’d tried.

Aaron left the shot glass for Caleb. There was ground to cover tonight, and he’d need to be sober for it.

It was time to take the frayed fibers of a future once imagined and make something beautiful out of them.

He took the ring back.

Gage’s car was gone. The headlights of Aaron’s Lincoln rolled over the empty space as Aaron pulled into the driveway. The house was dark, but the porch light had been left on. Aaron sank back in his seat and did his best to calm himself down, but it was no use—he’d run away from his problems and left Gage without a word… had he really expected to come home to find Gage waiting for him with open arms?

A quick glance at the time on the car’s digital display revealed that it was just after one in the morning. Aaron squeezed his eyes shut, counted down from five to focus his mind, then pulled his thoughts together. There weren’t many places Gage would go to spend the night. Since having Bo, he’d cut off or drastically diminished contact with his friends and family. Alex was the most likely person he’d go to for comfort. After him, Aaron was fairly certain that Mal was next in line. If Aaron could get in touch with them, he wagered he could find out where Gage had gone, and from there, they could sort things out for good.

Aaron took his phone from his pocket without bothering to undo his seatbelt—if the call went like he hoped it would, he’d be out on the road again in a second, anyway.

He called Alex.

The phone rang twice before it connected, and a wrathful, menacing voice rolled from the speaker into Aaron’s ear. “I swear to god, if you wake my baby up, I don’t care who you are—I will end you.”

“Alex, it’s me.” Aaron paused. “Aaron.” Then, to make sure Alex knew for sure who he was talking to, he added, “Gage’s Aaron.”

“Aaron?” Alex asked, more pissed than ever. “It’s one in the morning on a Tuesday and I have a nine-month-old baby. Why the hell are you calling?”

“Do you know where Gage is?” Based on Alex’s reaction, Aaron didn’t think he knew anything, but he had to try.

“No. I’m going to hang up on you now.”

“Hey, hold on!” Aaron gripped the steering wheel—with it grasped tightly in his hand, he could simulate control. “Don’t hang up just yet. Are you saying that you don’t know where he is because he’s actually at your house right now and you don’t want to give him away, or are you saying it because you genuinely don’t know? I need to apologize to him. We have some… some difficult things we need to work out, and I needed some time to sort them out, but I’m ready now. We need to talk so we can both figure out where we stand.”

“Oh, god.” Alex’s voice cut through the connection, leagues more alert and focused than it had been moments before. “You and Gage had a fight? Aaron, you’re my friend, but I swear to god, if you hurt him, I will come over and personally see to it that you lose your testicles to torsion.”

“I take it you haven’t seen him, then.”

“No, I haven’t seen him,” Alex snapped. Then, a moment later, he sighed. When he spoke again, his voice had lost some of its edge. “I’m sorry. It’s not fair of me to be so upset. Between looking after Laurence’s granddaughter today while his son is visiting colleges and caring for Violet, I’m exhausted, and I’m taking it out on you. Let me try that again, but while being polite: he hasn’t called me. He hasn’t even sent me a text, as far as I’m aware. I had no idea you two were fighting. Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know.” Aaron wanted to go into closer detail, but he didn’t want to force Alex into the middle of a private matter or shade his opinion of Gage. “Just… if you hear something from him, can you let me know?”

“I have to be honest… if Gage doesn’t want me to tell you something, I’m not going to tell you.” Alex sighed again. “But I can promise you that if he shows up here and begs me not to tell you, I’m going to take good care of him and Bo.”

“Bo is with Mal,” Aaron said. “I’m going to check in with him next.”

“You know…” Alex trailed off, and Aaron imagined him shaking his head.

“What?”

“All the time you were away, Gage couldn’t wait for you to come home. He did everything he could to make sure that you wouldn’t be inconvenienced while you were traipsing around Munich, filling beakers with colorful science fluids and piping them one into the other, or whatever it is that biochemists do.”

Aaron was silent. Of all the people he knew, Alex was the one who’d be able to offer him the best insight into Gage’s mind. What he had to say might bite, but Aaron needed the pain—it would serve to remind him that he wasn’t the only one who’d suffered because of the distance between them. Gage had given his life to Aaron, and Aaron could shoulder some discomfort in return.

“I told him several times that it’d be better if he moved on, but he never listened to me. He’d look at me with this dopey smile and his big sparkling eyes and tell me about how beautiful true love and monogamy was. Which, of course, seemed ridiculous to me at the time and made me roll my eyes on more than one occasion. But I think the point is… he’s loved you all this time. He’s been crazy about you since we were teenagers. He spent the entire time you were gone dreaming about how wonderful it would be when you came home. He starved himself so that he could afford to keep Bo a secret, all so that you wouldn’t drop out and come back to America to rescue him.”

Aaron’s throat clenched. “He starved himself?”

“He couldn’t afford the apartment, and Bo, and food, so he had to choose. And when Bo got sick, he was so in love with you and blind to the rest of the world that he refused to listen to common sense and go home to his parents to see if they could help—or if your parents could help, which we both know they could, and would.”

Gage had never told him. Aaron knew he wasn’t well off, but Gage had never revealed the depths of his poverty or his struggles as a single dad. He’d never once complained, not online, and not in real life. He’d smiled for Aaron this whole time while his body wasted away, all so their son could have what he needed. And when Bo’s health had declined, he’d chosen to face the struggle on his own.

All because Aaron had asked him to be strong.

“No,” Aaron whispered. “BP…”

“So to think that you’re fighting now?” Alex said. “To think that after all that time, seeing the love he had for you, all the tiny, indulgent smiles and the affection in his eyes… it’s hard. It’s hard to have been there beside him as he made sacrifices and stupid decisions for your sake year after year, and harder still to know that you’re already at each other’s throats so badly that you don’t know where he is at one in the morning on a Monday. If anyone I know deserves a happily ever after, it’s Gage… and it really bugs me to think that after everything, it’s not going to happen.”

“Don’t say that.” Aaron had meant to sound firm, but his voice crackled from the onset of tears. He slid his palm down the steering wheel and squeezed again, attempting to piece himself back together. “I’m looking for him right now. I’m trying to make things right. I just…” If there was anyone who knew about Gage’s private life, it would be Alex. Aaron released the muscles holding his head erect and let it flop back against the headrest. “Bo is mine, right?” he asked weakly. “Gage hasn’t been…”

There was a silence. When Alex finally spoke, his words were burdened. “If you need to ask that, then maybe you don’t deserve to have Gage back. Goodnight, Aaron.”

The call ended, and Aaron was alone.