There’d been a time in Gage’s life when the Alcrest house had been a playground, its finished basement a hangout for the winter months and rainy days in the spring, and its sprawling, lush back yard and in-ground pool a source of endless fun when the warm weather hit. He knew the property’s secrets—how, tucked into one of the pruned shrubs that lined the gardens along the back of the house, there’d been a pair of nesting cardinals that came back year after year, and that, in the spring, there was a depression in the ground behind the pool’s cabana where rabbits had once nested. One year, as children, Aaron had lifted the jumble of gray fur and sticks and shown Gage the rabbit’s kits.

“Don’t touch,” he’d whispered when Gage had held his hand out to stroke one of the partially furred creatures. They’d squirmed and chirped—Gage had never heard a rabbit chirp before. He’d never heard a rabbit make any kind of noise before. “If you touch them, then the mama’s gonna abandon them.”

Aaron, who was five years older and infinitely more wise, was always right. Gage took his hand away.

Every spring after that, he went back to check if the rabbits had returned, like the cardinals. They never did.

A part of him wondered if he wasn’t the driving force behind their departure.

If he hadn’t wanted to touch…

That same squirmy, guilty feeling he got when he thought of those rabbits was back in full force as he leaned against the Alcrest’s kitchen counter and stared holes through his feet. The house that had once been his playground now felt like a prison, and his parents and Aaron’s parents were the wardens.

You made the mama abandon those rabbits, a voice in his head whispered. Now your parents are going to abandon you, too.

Gage blinked away tears from his eyes and folded his arms across his chest for comfort. He’d played pretend and made himself believe that he was an adult, too, but the stern faces in the kitchen made him think better of it.

He was nothing more than a child who’d made a mistake.

Don’t touch, Aaron, fifteen years younger than he currently was, whispered in his ear.

But there was no fixing what was already done. There were no take-backs as an adult—only consequences.

“He’s here,” Oli, Aaron’s father, said softly as he entered the kitchen. Gage closed his eyes and crossed his arms more tightly. He didn’t want to see the anger and disgust in Aaron’s eyes when Aaron looked at him. He’d tried so hard to be strong. “Now that we’re all together, we can get the whole story.”

Oli went to stand by his husband, Marshall, whose gray hair was carefully coiffed and who wore a collared shirt and slacks despite the early hour of the morning. The wrinkles around his eyes had deepened the intensity of his emotion, and the devastated look in his eyes was one that Gage had never seen in him before—a hopeless, drained resignation, like something from his past had come back to ruin his life all over again.

Gage knew exactly what it was that made him look that way—at an hour far too early in the morning, with no warning, Marshall had been forced to face the past he’d left behind.

There was nothing redeeming about that.

There were footsteps across the kitchen floor and movement in Gage’s peripheral vision. He was ready for Aaron to go stand by his parents—to leer at Gage as Gage unveiled the details of his troubled past. Instead, Aaron cut across the room straight to him and pulled him into a crushing embrace. Gage squeaked, then relaxed against Aaron’s chest and breathed him in.

The desert at night, just like always. Sweet, and lush, and earthy.

“BP,” Aaron croaked. It sounded like he was seconds away from tears. “Oh, fuck, don’t do that again.”

“W-What?” Gage pulled away from Aaron’s chest to look him in the eyes. Aaron was close to tears. There were bags under his eyes, their dark, bruise-like undertones aging him.

“Don’t go.” Aaron smoothed the hair back from his forehead, his touch gentle and affectionate. Gage didn’t understand what was going on. Aaron had left, and he had every reason to be angry. Why was he treating Gage with such kindness? “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t understand,” Gage admitted in a small voice.

Aaron shook his head, his expression burdened with regret. “I got angry and wasn’t thinking clearly. I needed space to clear my thoughts, but I should have left you a note. I didn’t mean to upset you, and I didn’t mean to make you run. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I treated you like I did. How can I make it up to you?”

Gage couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He floundered for words, only to find none. Instead, he looked into Aaron’s eyes and read the sincerity in them. Aaron had been afraid. What was he supposed to make out of that? Gage had been the one in the wrong, the one who’d neglected to tell Aaron about his arrangement, even though he had no plans of following it through anymore. Why was Aaron apologizing?

Before he could gather his wits and reply, Oli cleared his throat and spoke. “Thing One, Cedric Two-Point-Oh-V-Two… I know that a lot’s gone on tonight, but let’s save the tearful apologies for after we get this sorted out, okay?”

“No.” Aaron shook his head. He took a step back from Gage and looked around the room. “Not until I know Bo’s okay. Where is he?”

“Bo is okay,” Gage replied. “Your dad put him to bed. He’s been woken from his sleep a few times tonight, and he’s tired.”

“If you want to check on him, Gabriel and I put him in the guest room.” Oli folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the oven.

Gage glanced at his parents. They stood on the opposite side of the room from Oli and Marshall, Gabriel leaning against Cedric’s side for support. Cedric had his arm around his husband, his expression flattened to try to hide the emotion at war within him. He’d come directly from work—his suit jacket was hung by the front door, and he’d rolled the sleeves of his dress shirt to his elbows, revealing the full sleeve of tattoos that ran down his right arm. In difficult times, Cedric was Gabriel’s pillar of support.

The love they had was one Gage thought he’d found in Aaron—an eternal commitment so deeply woven into who they were, it was almost spiritual. Today, that connection was being tested… but having Aaron hold him close made him think that everything was going to be okay.

Aaron shook his head. “No, it’s fine. If Gage is happy with where he is, then I’m happy.”

It was a small gesture of support, but to Gage, it meant everything.

“Gage?” Cedric’s voice redirected Gage from his thoughts. Gage glanced in his direction. His dark hair was pushed back from his face, the graying hair at his temples more noticeable than it had been the last time Gage had seen him. “Now that we’re all together, why don’t you start from the beginning?”

The beginning was hard to pinpoint, and Gage struggled to find a place to start. “I…”

He let out a breath and leaned against the counter, securing his hands to its edge. Aaron settled with him, and he stroked his pinky against Gage’s, a silent sign of support. From it, Gage found the courage to speak. “Aaron and I were dating the summer before he left for Munich. I, um… I’d been flirting with him while he was getting his master’s in California, but I was under eighteen, and he was uncomfortable with that, so nothing really happened until… until he came home for the summer after I’d graduated high school.”

There was silence, which was a small blessing, but in exchange, every eye in the room was on him. It was disconcerting, and Gage did his best not to focus on the attention. If he could have melted through the floor and disappeared, he would have.

But he owed his parents answers.

He’d promised himself there would be no more deception, and he would follow through.

“We… we did, you know, what you do when you date. A lot. Like, probably a lot more than we should have. And then Aaron went away to Munich, and I moved to the city to go to college, and we decided that we’d wait for each other, because we were in love.” When he said it out loud, it sounded so much different than how it felt in his heart. With the details shorn away, the husk of what he shared with Aaron was unglamorous—but how could he explain its beautiful intricacies in a way their parents could appreciate? There was no way to describe the way his heart had become bottomless after the first time he’d tasted Aaron’s lips, and there was no use in trying to illustrate the way Aaron’s presence put Gage at ease, or how all the little things they’d done for each other over the years had deepened their love even more. “I begged Aaron not to go, but he told me that he was doing this for us—that he’d come back with his PhD and build us a future together if only I could be strong and wait for him. So I told him I would be. And then, after I moved out, I realized that my heat hadn’t shown up at all that summer, so I took a test and found out I was pregnant.”

That should have come as a surprise to no one, since Bo was asleep upstairs, but Gage paused to wait for reactions, anyway. His fathers stood together, Gabriel nestled against Cedric’s chest for comfort, while Cedric held himself firm and emotionless as he could. Still, Gage thought he saw sorrow lurking behind his impartiality.

Gage frowned and looked away. “I knew that if I told anyone about the pregnancy that word would spread, and either Aaron’s parents would find out and force him to drop out so he could come home and take care of me, or Aaron himself would find out, and he’d abandon his studies and come home. But I also knew that if he came home to be a father, the future he wanted for us would never happen. He’d never achieve his dreams, or get the job he’d dreamed about, or get settled in life. We’d always struggle. He’d be unhappy, and I’d be unhappy, and it would just… it wouldn’t be okay.”

Aaron’s pinky finger looped over his and squeezed.

“And so I figured that I could be strong while Aaron finished school. It was only a few years, after all, right? Four or five. Aaron had promised that he’d work as hard as he could to graduate quickly so we could be together again, and when he didn’t come home for the holidays or summer break because he was working, I knew that he was keeping his promise… so I decided that I could keep my promise to him, too—my promise that I’d be strong so we could have the best life possible.”

The silence was broken by a small, defeated sob. It had come from his father, Gabriel. Heart bleeding, Gage looked in his direction. Gabriel had already buried his head against Cedric’s shoulder, seeking comfort, and Cedric stroked his hair slowly and lovingly. The confession had triggered something in his fathers that Gage couldn’t decipher, but that he knew had hurt them. Had they suffered in a similar way? Gage didn’t know, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever find out. He could only hope they could find it in their hearts to forgive him.

“So I had to keep Bo a secret from everyone.” Gage hesitated. He wasn’t sure how much he should share. “I dropped out of school before the first semester even began. I couldn’t go to class while raising a newborn and pay for an apartment at the same time. I couldn’t even afford anyone to babysit. So I found a way to make money while Bo was asleep, and—”

Gabriel lifted his head from Cedric’s chest to speak. “How?” Desperation clung to his voice and an imploring look gleamed in his eyes behind his tears. “Gage…”

“Shh.” Cedric held Gabriel a little closer and whispered something against the side of his head that Gage couldn’t hear. Tears streamed silently down Gabriel’s cheeks.

“I…” Gage dropped his gaze, his heart heavy. “I don’t really want to talk about it. I did what I had to do to make sure I could care for Bo. We can… we can talk later, in private.” Saliva pooled in excess in Gage’s mouth. His father sobbed again, and Cedric tucked him against his chest and held him close, rubbing his back. “Is that okay?”

“That’s fine,” Cedric said. He didn’t look at Gage, his attention focused entirely on his husband. “Please, continue.”

To see his father cry made Gage feel even worse about what he’d done. Regret hit him full force and brought tears to his eyes that he hastily brushed away.

“I hated it, Dad,” he whispered, hoping that he could make it better. “I hated it so much. It made me sick. The first few times, I threw up. It hurt, but I had Bo to take care of, and Aaron to be strong for, and I didn’t see another way.”

Gabriel sobbed harder.

“Gabriel?” Cedric’s voice was stern but kind, his utterance a command. Gabriel quieted down and slumped his shoulders like a switch had been turned off inside of him. There’d only been a few times in Gage’s life where he’d seen his fathers act this way, and he was still stunned by it.

Despite the no-nonsense tone of his voice, Cedric kissed the top of Gabriel’s head. Even now, when the situation was high-strung and emotions were high, Cedric provided for the man he loved. “Go lie down on the couch for now. I’ll fill you in on what’s happened later.”

“Yes, Sir,” Gabriel whispered. He looked one last time at Gage, eyes red from tears, then left the kitchen to do as he was told.

“Gage?” Cedric asked once Gabriel had exited the room. He spoke with a similar, stern tone. “Please continue.”

Gage ran his tongue across the back of his teeth nervously and dropped his gaze to his shoes once more. He obeyed. “I never made a lot of money, so I was cutting corners to make ends meet, and depending on a… a person for support.” He’d already incriminated Alex to Gabriel, but he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. “But about a year and a half ago, Bo started getting sick, and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t afford to take him to the doctor, so I hoped it would just get better, but it didn’t. Eventually, I broke down and begged the person who’d been helping me for money, and he got Bo in to a doctor who diagnosed him with asthma. But… but the nebulizers didn’t help, and he was getting worse, and so I took him to see a new doctor and they told me it wasn’t asthma, but that I’d have to see a specialist to get it diagnosed. And I couldn’t afford that, either, and I was going to go forward with a crazy scheme to get me insurance when Aaron came home and started taking care of me again. But I… I feel like I’ve messed that up, too. Aaron had no idea about Bo until he came home, and keeping the truth from him almost destroyed us, so when he left tonight, I knew that I had to come clean with everyone else. I couldn’t… I couldn’t keep you in the dark anymore. I don’t want to lose anyone else in my life… in Bo’s life.” Gage couldn’t lift his gaze, too terrified to see their parents’ faces. If he lost their support, if Bo lost their support… “I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me anymore for hiding the truth from you, but please don’t take it out on my baby. He didn’t ask to be hidden away. He’s innocent, and so is Aaron. The only one you should be angry with is me.”

Marshall, who’d been silent all through Gage’s story, stepped forward, and Gage found it in himself to lift his head and look his way. The haunted look was still present in his eyes, and although he did his best to mask what he was feeling, his underlying emotions peeked through his facade. Regret, sorrow, uncertainty… but no anger. It emboldened Gage and made him feel that not all hope was lost. “No one is abandoning you,” Marshall said. “And no one is abandoning Bo, either. There are problems that need to be worked out, and conversations you’ll likely need to have with your fathers, but I refuse to stand by, knowing that my grandson is unwell. As soon as my pulmonologist’s office opens, I’ll be making a call, and we’ll be taking Bo in to see him immediately.”

“Your pulmonologist, Dad?” Aaron asked. His finger slipped from Gage’s, and he pushed off the counter to stand upright. “What are you talking about?”

Aaron didn’t know.

The realization rippled through Gage, paralyzing him.

Even as a child, he’d known that there was something wrong with Marshall—he’d never gone swimming with them, been militant about his diet, and had taken pills like clockwork, never missing one… but Gage had thought it was simply an adult thing to do, a mark of his age and his commitment to his wellbeing. It had been such a constant facet of Marshall’s personality that it was unremarkable, and Gage had never thought to ask.

It looked like Aaron hadn’t thought to ask, either, and if he hadn’t been told…

He had no idea what’s going on with his father, or with Bo.

A downward twist of Marshall’s lips and a furrowing of his brow turned Marshall’s expression somber. In a grave voice, he addressed his son. “There are parts of my life I haven’t shared with you or your brother… details I’ve kept hidden, in the hopes that you would lead your lives without fear and enjoy them to their full potential.”

“Dad? What are you talking about?” The panic in Aaron’s voice increased. The paralysis that had once seized Gage released him, and he stepped forward and slipped his hand into Aaron’s and squeezed.

Just like Aaron was there for him, he was there for Aaron. He would always be.

“Before you were born…” Marshall hesitated, distraught. The mask had fallen away—Gage saw the conflict within him, and the regret over what he’d done. “I was dying from a lung condition called idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. After I met your father and you and your brother entered the picture, I received a double lung transplant to reverse the damage done. There is still debate in the medical community over whether it’s hereditary or not. You and your brother were born healthy, but I knew there was a chance you might be afflicted by it later in life, as it afflicted me, and that your children might be at risk, too. I’d told myself that when you were ready to settle down, I’d tell you. I didn’t want you to live your lives in fear of a condition that might not ever affect you. I’m sorry.”

“Pulmonary fibrosis?” Aaron’s voice trembled. “A double lung transplant? And Bo… Bo…”

Aaron’s Adam’s apple bobbed. Gage squeezed his hand again, tears brimming.

“Medicine has come a long way since I went through that surgery almost thirty years ago,” Marshall said. There was hope in his voice—hope they both needed. “Bo is going to receive the best care money can buy. He’s going to pull through. You were strong for him, and he’s going to be strong for you.”

They were words Gage chose to believe in.

Aaron squeezed his hand back, then shook his head and tugged Gage close to his chest. It was all it took—Gage let himself be weak. He cried, all tears and snot and ugly sobs, as the news sank in again.

Secrets had torn them apart. Secrets had threatened to destroy them. Secrets had deprived his son of early intervention and put him at risk of never pulling out of this.

But the secrets weren’t secrets anymore, and the truth, as hard as it was, promised that there was still hope.

They’d recover. They’d band together and pull out of this.

Bo would be okay.