CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Scarlett
As the door closed behind Langston, I flashed a furious look at Amy, who was still staring narrowed-eyed at the door. “What in the world do you think you’re doing?”
She lifted a shoulder and turned to face me. “Making him work for it.”
I shook my head, then was distracted with Samuel who kept spitting out my nipple and screaming like someone was stabbing his ego. When he finally latched on, I turned my focus back on my friend. “Work for it? Why?”
She planted her hands on her hips in that schoolteacher way that made her tall frame look even bigger. “He can’t just waltz in here and be some hero delivering the babies and then voila…” she waved her hand in the air like a crazy magician, “just think he can suggest names and pay bills and that you’ll lovingly do whatever he wants. It isn’t right!”
“She’s right,” Olivia added and Lorie came closer, nodding too. “You don’t have to be bitchy about it…” she gave Amy a hard look, clearly adding like some people in her head, “but you need to stand up for yourself. You need to decide if you want him here, decide how this needs to work. Don’t let him bully you and don’t let your hormones overwhelm or choose for you.”
“And the decision doesn’t have to be right now, today, or tomorrow,” Lorie added. “Don’t let him or anyone else pressure you.”
I took a deep breath and looked down at the babies. Samuel was sucking about four times to every swallow, so I took him off the breast to burp him. Thank god I knew what to do. Well, at least I did for other mothers. I’d find out if it translated when it came to myself. His warm body settled over my shoulder, then he promptly spit a mouthful of milk into my hair.
Wonderful.
I took the cloth from Olivia’s hand and wiped it off while she took the baby and did the burping for me. We worked in tandem just as we always did.
“Can I get a hair tie?” I asked and felt better when my mop was high on top of my head. I lifted Sofi to my shoulder and burped her, then switched breasts, taking Samuel back from Olivia to nurse again. Already, all of this was overwhelming, and I had help. I couldn’t imagine how challenging it was going to be in a couple days when I was juggling all of this by myself. I’d probably have one of them fat and one of them skeletally thin after forgetting which one I was feeding. I’d probably drop one on his or her head, maybe both of them. I wouldn’t have enough milk, then be mommy-shamed for having to revert to formula. The screaming of two babies would annoy the neighbors and I’d get kicked out of my apartment and have to raise them in the streets because I didn’t even have a car to be homeless in.
Pure panic weaved its sinuous body through my brain, and it refused to slither back into its hateful den.
“Breathe, Scarlett,” Olivia said and touched her fingers to my pulse. “In through your nose, nice and deep. Out through your mouth.” She spent a few seconds making noisy inhale and exhalations for me to use as a guide.
I smiled, hoping a flash of teeth would prove that I was okay. Olivia adjusted my mess of curls on top of my head and gave my shoulder a squeeze.
Lorie sat down on the foot of the bed, and I moved my legs over to make room for her. “Do you love him, Scar?”
I was surprised at the question and knew why she asked it. Anytime someone was in emotional highjack, we would ask them questions, which forced the logical side of their brain to start working.
My smile was more genuine this time, a gesture of appreciation at her efforts more so than the question she had tossed out at me. “Love?” I searched my heart and shook my head. “No. I mean… no. Of course not. I don’t know him. I only spent a couple hours with him, remember?”
I looked down at the babies, who I’d only known a very short time. I was madly in love with them. Why, as a human race, were we not allowed to love an adult just as quickly? Why did we have to make it so hard?
“Could you? Love him, I mean?” Her dark eyes were serious as she stroked a hand up and down my calf.
Flashes of him kissing me. The look in his eyes then, and today, when he first walked into this room. His intensity. The way I’d felt since our short time together. The way my skin still felt the touch of his fingers, my lips longed for his. The joy that had overridden the fear of having his children. Because they gave me a piece of him, something I could cling to of his memory.
I remembered every detail about that night. From the moment I noticed him noticing me to the moment we kissed on the sidewalk. When he pushed me against the door, lifting me until I could wrap myself around him. Ripping my shirt open. Laying me on the bed. His tongue in my mouth, on my breasts, inside of me. His fingers, his thick cock. Looking into his eyes as I exploded with the greatest pleasure I’d ever known.
I shivered, and Olivia pulled a blanket up higher on my lap. The gesture brought me back to the room. Back to the women who were my friends and who I absolutely loved like sisters.
“I don’t think I know him enough to answer that question, to be honest. I was a little slut, remember?” My laugh held more than a little bitterness as all three women chided me for saying such a thing. “He was on his best behavior, you know? So was I. We didn’t get a chance to see the bad side of each other.”
Amy snorted. “Well, he got to see your bad side today.”
I groaned, and Lorie continued to stroke my leg, offering a soothing touch. “And he didn’t run away from it,” she reminded me, giving Amy a narrowed-eyed look. “He actually did a great job of stepping in. Most men would have been flat on their backs or would have turned on their heels and be miles away by now, but he pulled through. Your stitches look like a plastic surgeon sewed you up, so you’ve got to give him points for that.”
Olivia laughed, and as if she remembered I was still an actual patient, sat down and began pressing on my uterus. “Did you see his face when he first saw you? Then when he found out it was twins? I’ve never seen someone so shocked in my life, and I’ve seen a lot of shocked faces, believe you me.”
“Speaking of shocked, why did Melinda pass out? She’s like a rock. Nothing ever phases her.”
Olivia and Lorie exchanged a look, their eyes shining with humor. “I think Melinda has a huge crush on the good doctor,” Olivia offered. “The second you said he was the father, the blow of him being off the market was too much for her to take.”
I rolled my eyes. “He’s not off the market, guys.”
Amy popped me in the forehead, and because I was holding two newborns, I couldn’t hit her back. “He better be off the market, or I swear I’ll cut his balls off. He better not leave you again.”
“Amy, he has a life. A life that I was a participant in for about a total of five hours. Six, if you count him catching his surprise children before they dropped to the floor.”
Lorie patted my leg. “We’d have never let that happen.”
I laughed. She was so cute. Then I looked back at Amy. “I need time to think, okay? Everyone keeps talking about it being a surprise for him, but it was a pretty big surprise for me too. I honestly thought I’d never see him again. I honestly thought I’d be raising these kids by myself. I honestly had tried my hardest to forget about him, and forget about that night, and forget about how I felt being with him… then he was just here. Mid-contraction, he just appeared out of nowhere. I thought I was hallucinating, I really did. Or had a stroke or something. And now I don’t know what to think or do.”
Lorie, my forever champion, added, “It is like a miracle for him to be here.”
I nodded. “What are the chances of him being here like this?”
“Lucky ass bastard,” Amy muttered. She wasn’t completely ready to give up on being angry. I knew her, and she’d come around.
Lorie pointedly ignored her. “That’s one of the reasons I think you should give him a chance. At least be open to seeing how things go. I mean, the chances have to be astronomical that he’d be brought back here, on this day, at this particular time, to this particular hospital, to this particular patient.”
“With that particular bar of sushi taking out half of the medical staff,” Olivia added. “Lorie’s right. There is some strong juju going on here, pushing you two together.”
I looked up at Amy. “Speaking of particulars, we weren’t even supposed to be at that particular bar that night, remember? Dana’s cousin was in that jazz band and begged us to go there instead of to Lydia’s. We never go that far out. You hate the airport traffic. But that’s where we went that night. The exact same place as him.”
“I’m going to kick Dana’s ass.” But the grumble was gone from her voice, and she raised her camera to take another picture. She sighed and sank onto the bed beside me. “I just don’t want him and his doctordom to come in thinking he can take over your life and tell you what to do.”
“I know. I don’t want that either. But I have to say, that in the addition to the surprise, I was thrilled to see him. I wish it could have been eight months or even eight weeks ago, but for some reason, it was now.”
“The two of you look really good together,” Lorie offered, the biggest optimist in the group.
Olivia waggled her eyebrows. “And the way you two looked at each other was hot. I mean, the temperature in the room was scorching.”
I sighed, relaxing back into the pillow. “He is handsome, isn’t he?”
“And did you see the size of his hands?” Olivia got a dreamy look in her eyes before giving me an oops look. “Sorry, couldn’t help but notice.”
I remembered those hands. In my hair. On my breasts. Long fingers moving inside me.
“Good grief,” Amy said, rolling her eyes to the ceiling, then held them there like she was searching the heavens for some intervention. “Wipe that look off your face. You just had two babies, and you’re fantasizing already?”
The girl could read my mind.
“No sex for six weeks,” Olivia said.
“Officially off the record, you can mess around at four,” Lorie countered.
“Well, if we’re officially off the record, a lot of couples have sex once the stitches have healed,” Olivia shot back. “No one waits that long, anyway. But that’s not the point. You should wait until at least five. Make him wait it out.”
“Why are we having this discussion?” I asked, feeling my face turning red. “Look at me. I’m a sagging, stretch marked, milky mess. And he saw my gaping… hole spit out a couple kids right in his face. I highly doubt he’ll want to come within a mile of my vagina, breasts, or…” I blew hot breath into my hand and cringed. “And why didn’t any of you tell me my breath smelled like six cats took a crap in my mouth?”
They all laughed, but I didn’t find it funny in the least. I blew again. Jesus, my breath was disgusting. “I’m serious. I need something to drink!”
Olivia poured a glass of water and held the straw to my lips. Lorie pulled a rumpled looking mint from her pocket and yanked off the wrapper before popping it in my mouth for me.
Slightly mollified, I burped the babies again before handing them over for their first baths and additional assessments. As horrible as it was to admit to myself, it felt good to have a minute to myself and let someone else do the work. I was tired. My bottom hurt. My ribs hurt. My jaw hurt from clenching my teeth.
An announcement came from the overhead speakers. “Code silver, OB. Code silver, OB.”
Olivia and Lorie jumped to their feet while my heart jumped into my throat. “I’ll go,” Lorie said and placed Sofi back in my arms before running from the room. Amy took Samuel from Olivia, who raced across the room and wedged the toe of her shoe against the bottom of the door.
Having locks on patient doors was a catch twenty-two situation. We needed to be able to reach patients with no barriers, but in code situations like this, we couldn’t bar the doors.
Amy’s eyes were wide. “What’s happening?”
“Code silver means there is a combative person with a weapon on the floor,” I told her.
She pulled Samuel close to her throat, and I did the same to Sofi. “Why would anyone have a weapon around babies?”
It was a good question. But the bigger question racing through my mind was about Langston and his safety. I now knew why Melinda was in such a big rush.
I kissed Sofi’s head.
Please let these babies’ daddy be all right.