CHAPTER THIRTY
Dani
“So, wait,” Madison said on the phone. “He took you on a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon?”
“Yes.”
“And you don’t think that means something?” Madison asked for the hundredth time. We’d been on the phone for an hour. I told her all about the surprise and Talen’s harsh words afterward.
“I told you,” I said with a sigh. “I really thought it did, you know? I was sure that he was starting to have feelings for me, but then, he said it was all business. He just completely shut it down, and now, I don’t know what to think.”
“I know he’s rich,” Madison said. “But no guy goes through that much trouble for a woman he doesn’t care about.”
“I thought the same thing. I even held his hand on the ride. I feel like such an idiot now.”
“You aren’t an idiot,” Madison said quickly. “Any woman would have thought that.”
“It’s just so confusing,” I complained. “There are times when I swear he cares about me. I mean, we’ve had sex a few times already, and both times were amazing. When we’re together that way, I can feel him, you know? I can feel all of him, and I just know he wants to be with me.”
“But…?” Madison asked.
I pressed my fingers to my temples. “But… he’s always really good about making sure I know it’s just business. No matter how close we get, he always pulls back by bringing up work. This arrangement is just a job. I can’t let myself believe anything else. Not anymore.”
“It’s almost over,” Madison said reassuringly. “Just a little while longer, and then, you’re free. You’ll get your money and your annulment. Then, you’ll never have to worry about Talen Gaston ever again.”
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right.”
And she was. My deal with Talen would soon come to an end. When it did, my life would be better than ever. My mother’s care would finally be paid for. I would have more money than I knew what to do with, and we would no longer be in each other’s lives.
The thought made my stomach clench horribly. Madison was only trying to make me feel better, but the more I thought about never seeing Talen again, the more my heart ached. I couldn’t stand the thought of saying goodbye to him forever. I didn’t want to admit it, not to Madison or even to myself, but I had fallen hard for Talen Gaston.
When he surprised me with my art supplies, everything changed. I saw a side of him that I’d never seen before, and it opened my eyes to a whole new set of possibilities. I realized that Talen’s tendency to be a dick was just a by-product of his father’s abuse. Deep down, he was a kind and caring man who loved his mother and was sensitive to the people around him. He cared, even when he didn’t want to.
Still, I couldn’t ignore the things he said. No matter how much I wanted to believe he felt something for me, his words proved otherwise. He made it abundantly clear that he was only in this for his business and nothing more. I didn’t mean anything to him. I was just a means to an end. That knowledge broke my heart, but I knew I’d been through worse. I knew I had no choice but to accept the facts and move on. Soon, Talen would be out of my life, and all the confusing feelings would go with him.
“I should go,” I said into the phone. “Thanks for talking to me, Madison. I don’t say it enough, but you really are my best friend.”
“I know.” Her voice was so soft and understanding I wanted to cry. “And you’re mine. Everything will be okay. I promise.”
“Thanks. Talk soon.”
“Talk soon,” she said.
We hung up, and I tossed my phone onto my couch. I knew it wouldn’t be long before I had to return to Talen’s place, but I just wasn’t ready yet. After our trip, I couldn’t bring myself to face him yet. If I had been confused before, it was nothing compared to how I felt now.
Just as I was about to sit down and wallow in my emotions, there was a soft knock on my door. I frowned. I wasn’t expecting anyone but couldn’t help but wonder if it was Talen. My heart beat faster at the thought. Taking a deep breath as I put my hand on the doorknob, I told myself it would be okay. I just had to open the door and face him.
When I did, it wasn’t Talen who stood in front of me. It was Perry.
At first, I was sure that I was seeing things. I wasn’t. Perry was indeed standing in my doorway, wearing the shirt I bought him for his last birthday and looking at me with his deep brown eyes. I blinked, trying to think. I could barely breathe, and I had no idea what to say to him. I waited for him to speak, but he didn’t. He just shifted his weight from one foot to the other and stared at me.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I finally asked. My voice was soft, weaker than I wanted it to be.
“Can I come in?” he asked sheepishly. I could tell he was nervous, but I didn’t care. The second I saw him, all the pain and anger he caused me came flooding back. I wanted nothing more than to slam the door in his face.
“No,” I said, stepping outside and closing the door behind me. “You can’t.”
“Dani, please. I just want to talk to you.”
“We can talk out here,” I said firmly and leaned against the doorjamb, crossing my arms over my chest.
He cleared his throat a few times and played with his hands. He kept moving his feet as if he didn’t know how to stand. His eyes flickered from my face to the ground and back again. A sick, twisted part of me enjoyed watching him squirm. I loved the fact that he was nervous and scared to be standing in front of me. I knew I could have said something to ease the tension, but I refused. He dumped me. If he wanted to talk, he needed to find the balls to start the conversation.
“Dani,” he finally said and took a step toward me. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” I repeated. My voice was flat. My eyes were locked on his, trying to read his emotions.
“I am,” he said earnestly. “I’m so sorry for what I put you through. I know how much I hurt you and I just, I hate myself for it.”
“What happened to your new girlfriend?” I asked, my voice cutting through the air like a knife. Perry winced, but he soon recovered.
“I know I made a mistake, but, I don’t want my mistake to ruin our entire future. You and I have been through so much together, Dani. I don’t want to throw everything away just because of one stupid mistake.”
“What you did was bigger than a mistake.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.”
His apologies started wearing on me. The more he said the word “sorry,” the more I wanted to slap him across the face and make him leave me alone for good. Just standing there talking to him was more than I could take. I wanted to disappear inside and shut the door between us, but I couldn’t make my feet move. I couldn’t tear myself away.
“Perry, what are you doing here? Really.”
“I’m here to get you back,” he said bluntly. “I want to be with you, Dani. I want to make up for everything I did wrong. I want to fix our relationship.”
“We don’t have a relationship,” I reminded him.
“Don’t say that,” he said softly. For the first time, he actually looked hurt. My stomach clenched at the pain in his voice. I hated myself for still caring, but I did. Perry and I had been together for so long that I couldn’t just turn my feelings off overnight. Seeing him in pain hurt me too.
I sighed. “What do you want from me?” I could feel the tears threatening to pour from my eyes, but I blinked them away. I couldn’t let him see me cry.
“I just want you,” he said. “I want to give us another try. Dani, we have a history together, and I would hate for that history to just disappear. I want to be with you again. Whatever you want, we can do. If you want me to stay in town more often, I can. If you want to get married, then that’s what we’ll do. Whatever you want, okay?”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Whatever I want? Too late for that.” I lifted my left hand and wiggled my fingers at him, knowing the huge diamond couldn’t be missed.
Instead of looking surprised, his jaw tightened. “I thought that was surely some tabloid-made-up lie.”
He did know about my marriage, yet he came here anyway. Was it just jealousy that drove him back in my direction?
“It doesn’t have to be too late.”
I wiggled my fingers again, letting that be my answer.
Perry looked around. “If you’re so happy with your rich husband, then why aren’t you living with him? Why are you still in this crappy place?”
Shit. I raised my chin. “I’m not living here. I’m going through my things. You just got lucky by catching me here.”
His eyes narrowed, and I could tell he was trying to read me. “So, you’re happy with him?”
“Yes. Very.”
“I don’t believe you.”
My stomach unclenched, and I flushed with rage. His words hit me like a punch to the gut, and I immediately felt every ounce of my anger come flooding back. I stared at his pleading, desperate face, and I hated him. I hated him for wasting five years of my life. I hated him for cheating on me. And I hated him for showing up now, begging me to take him back.
“You’re an idiot,” I snapped. “You’re seriously here, begging me to take you back? After everything you did?”
“I apologized.” He had the nerve to look offended. “I said I was sorry.”
“And that’s just supposed to magically make it all better? You think that offering to marry me if I want to is enough? What about you? Two people shouldn’t get married just because one of them wants to. It should be because they both want to, but you’ve never wanted that. You’ve never wanted me. Not really.”
“That’s not true,” he argued. “Dani, I—”
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” I said, cutting him off. “Because now, I don’t want you.”
With that, I turned and stepped back inside my apartment. I slammed the door shut behind me and locked it with a furious twist of my wrist. I was so angry that I could barely breathe as I paced around my small space. It was a few minutes before I finally heard Perry’s footsteps as he walked away. I peered out the window and watched as his car pulled out of the parking lot, and he disappeared down the street. I was happy to see him leave, but my anger was still growing.
I couldn’t believe he would show up at my door like that. I’d been so focused on my feelings for Talen that I hadn’t given Perry a second thought in days. Even when my mother asked about him, I barely felt a thing. Perry was my past, and I wanted him to stay that way. I couldn’t believe he offered to marry me just because he thought that’s what I wanted. He didn’t even bother to say he wanted to marry me.
As I sat down on the couch and tried to calm myself, I realized that I didn’t hate my ex. Not really. He was just a sad, pathetic man who was better left alone. Our relationship was over, and it had been for a long time. My future didn’t lie with him. It lay somewhere else, with someone different.
At least I wished it did.