CHAPTER 17
Cecily was sitting cross-legged on the bed in Missy’s room, surrounded by brochures decorated with color palettes, when Shane walked in.
She tried not to look too happy to see him, but, damn, there was a lot to be happy about. He was wearing a T-shirt he probably kept in the closet here, because she didn’t recognize it, and she definitely would have recognized it. It was a little more fitted than his usual fare and made the most of showing off the cut of his chest, his tattoo, and the muscular slopes of his arms.
She greeted him with a smile.
“This your graphic design stuff?” he asked.
“It sure is. I thought I’d start with a few classes and then focus on getting an internship somewhere, but my long-term plan is to get a certificate and then a full-time job.” Cecily took a deep breath. “But you’re not here to hear about this stuff. Are you here to tell me you don’t want me at the restaurant with you or to tell me what you said about me to Dex?”
Shane stared at her for a moment, moistened his lips, and without changing expression replied, “I basically called you easy.”
Cecily sucked in a horrified breath.
“Not as such, but it read that way. I said it because I was angry, and I threw you under the bus to score against him. It was bullshit, but it’s kind of still out there for the moment. I apologized, but I’m going to have to give Dex some space for a while.”
Easy. “Oh.” She could feel those two bright red spots burning on her cheeks. “Okay. That’s not what I expected. Yeah. So, this is embarrassing.” Note to self: Stop throwing yourself at him. Just STOP.
“Understandably, Dex wasn’t happy. That’s it. I fucked up. And Cecily, from the bottom of my heart, I apologize for what I said. I let it get to me.”
“Let what get to you?”
Shane looked out the window. “It’s more than the job or the danger. He doesn’t like me for you.”
Cecily understood it then. Shane might be good at telling himself there was no “we,” but he couldn’t make himself feel something he didn’t feel. She gazed up at him. “You’re so together with everything except me. Why?”
“I don’t know.”
Cecily folded her arms across her chest. “When you finally get around to it, you have an uncanny need to tell me all kinds of truths I’m not sure I want to hear. Do you ever have a confession that isn’t some kind of bombshell? I can’t decide if you’re trying to push me away, and dressing it up as this kind of crazy point-blank honesty. I don’t think I’ve ever dated anyone as honest as you.” She flushed. “I mean, not that we’re dating. Or anything. I mean, we’ve never gone on a date, so . . . anyway, with your dedication to the truth, you’d probably tell me that I do look fat in my dress.”
“I’ve never seen you wear a dress,” Shane said, giving her a very sexy once-over. “You got a dress here?”
A bolt of laughter burst from Cecily’s lips. “You basically just told my brother I was a slut, and now you’re flirting?”
Shane’s face went dark. “Just to be clear, I told your brother you were . . . game . . . because I’m an idiot, and I felt backed into a wall, and I made a shit decision that I’m copping to and trying to fix. I said something I didn’t mean. It wasn’t true. It won’t happen again.”
Her laughter disappeared as quickly as it came. She studied him, realizing she’d been close enough to him to read him better than he could imagine. And what she was reading was a whole lot of contradiction. And a whole lot of a man trying not to let himself have something he really wanted. And she thought about how much she hated all that and how she wasn’t going to let herself get away with it and how she wasn’t sure she wanted to let Shane get away with it.
“For the life of me,” she finally said, “I can’t figure out why we do and say the most ridiculous things to each other, and all I want you to do right now is kiss me.”
“For the life of me, I can’t figure out why I’m fighting that so hard,” Shane muttered.
“We should stop fighting,” Cecily said.
Shane stared down at her, not saying anything, so much tension in his body she could almost hear a dull roar building in his brain. “The Armory is always a stopover for me,” he finally said. “I’m not a long-term play.”
And yet, you’re still standing here in front of me like you can’t bring yourself to leave. “When you actually bother to communicate, everything makes a helluva lot more sense, you know. Doesn’t mean I like it, but it makes sense. And I get you, Shane. I get that you’re not a long-term play. Is that what you think I’m looking for? Because I’m just looking for happy. I haven’t had that in a while, and I don’t care what size box it comes in. The thing is, you’re here now, aren’t you? You’re here for a little while working on Rothgar’s job.”
Shane stayed quiet for a moment. “You got a dress here?”
Cecily cocked an eyebrow. “Maybe. Not sure I should waste it. Depends on how easy you are.”
“Turns out I’m pretty fucking easy when it comes to you,” Shane said.
“Then I got a dress here,” Cecily said.
“Be in the garage at six forty-five. The mission starts at seven.”
A Friday night date with Shane? Cecily didn’t care if it was fake and designed solely to bring James down. Knowing that would probably make the food taste better. “It’s a date,” she said totally deadpan and turned back to her brochures.
The door closed behind Shane’s back.
Cecily threw her brochures into the air and watched the rainbows all fall around her.