“Have I gone mad?” Alice asked.
“I’m afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usually are.”
―Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Alice
“I thought you said this was supposed to be a small, informal hearing?” Lulu asked.
Rayna tsk’d while looking around. “Yeah, there’s nothing small or casual about any of this. It looks like you’ve got the whole school here.”
“No, this can’t be for me,” I said. “Maybe there’s a rally going on today, although it looks like it’s about to rain cats and dogs any second now. Not a good day for a protest.”
I didn’t blame them for being confused. I perused the printed-out email from my advisor. She had outlined how everything was to proceed.
“It says here there are four members on the university’s ethics committee, along with the dean of my department. Each gets a vote,” I said. “I don’t understand where all these people came from.”
I was there with my best friends, all whom had taken the day off of work to accompany me. Rayna said she had her lawyer and the press on speed dial, in case ‘heads needed to roll.’
God, I loved them so.
As I walked through the crowd, and I’m talking hundreds of people, I couldn’t help but scan their faces, hoping to see his.
“I don’t think he’s here, honey,” Caroline said.
She knew me too well.
I nodded, taking a deep breath. “I should have told him about today.”
She grimaced. “Actually, I texted him the info yesterday,” she said. “But he didn’t respond . . . I’m so sorry.”
Don’t start crying. If you start, you won’t stop. You can fall apart when this is all over.
“Thanks for trying,” I said, giving a small smile.
Thunder rumbled over our heads, followed by lightning crackling through the sky.
“Let’s hurry,” I said.
Suddenly, I heard someone from the crowd cry out, “Hey, it’s her! It’s Alice!”
“Alice is here?”
“Make way! Make way!”
Just like Moses at the Red Sea, swarms of people parted right in front of us, making way so we could keep going.
“Go get ‘em, Alice!”
“We’re all behind you!”
“Tell the patriarchy to shove their double standards up their asses!”
We got to the building, walking to the top of the steps, but before I went in, I turned towards the crowd, amazed there were so many people out today. For me. Some even had picket signs.
I had no idea how they had found out what was happening, but I sure didn’t want to let them down. So, I channeled one of my idols, Winston Churchill, and flashed ‘V’ for victory fingers.
The crowd went wild and the thunder grew louder.
Campus police ushered us inside the space, which looked just like a courtroom to me. The room was huge and the committee was already seated at the front.
I was on trial.
“So much for informal,” I scoffed.
“I bet they saw all the ruckus and upped their game,” my sister said.
It was standing room only, but there was a seat for me next to my advisor at a table in front of the committee. I took my seat and was grateful there was a bottle of water waiting.
“Perfect timing,” she said, covering the microphone in front of us. “I already gave my statement. Now the committee will ask you some questions and you’ll have a chance to read your prepared remarks. Are you ready?”
“You bet,” I said—and I meant it too.
One of them banged a gavel several times, calling for order.
“It has come to the attention of this university’s esteemed committee that you, Alice Elizabeth Leighton, were photographed in the midst of a lewd and lascivious act, which was published in a local newspaper earlier this month.” The committee member held up the paper. “For the record, is this—in fact—you in the aforementioned picture?”
“Yes,” I said.
What an asshole.
He held up a booklet. “Upon entering this esteemed university, did you sign our Student Handbook?”
“Yes, I did,” I said.
He’s really going to drag this out. That’s fine. Bring it, grandpa.
“I see,” he said, thumbing through it. “Did you happen to read the section on student conduct?”
“Yes, I did read it.”
“Then you are aware in Section III, Article XI it states ‘conduct which is disorderly, lewd, indecent, or which disturbs the peace may serve as cause for suspension or expulsion.’”
“I am aware of the policy, but I do not believe I violated it.”
Another committee member piped in. “Yes, we heard from your advisor that this photograph was taken without your knowledge or your consent.”
“That is correct,” I said. “I would also like to say for the record during this ‘informal’ hearing, I object to the term ‘lewd and lascivious’ used to describe what was happening in the photo.”
“You are engaging in sexual intercourse in the picture, aren’t you, Ms. Leighton?”
“Yes, but as a graduate student of your esteemed clinical psychology and human sexuality studies department, I refuse to label a loving act between two consenting adults ‘lewd and lascivious.’ The lewd act occurred when a couple of jerks took our photo—without consent—and sold it for money, just because my partner happens to be a well-known member of this city’s artistic community.
“One could also say this hearing today is also a lewd act, bringing a woman in front of an all-male committee to endure institutionalized ‘slut shaming.’ Shame on you. I did not give those men permission to photograph and sell my image and I do not give you permission to judge how I express myself in private, and since my partner owns that building and the land it occupies, the entirety of this supposed ‘lewd and lascivious act’ is, in fact, private, and none of your business.”
Everyone behind me in the ‘courtroom’ stood up and cheered, a roar of applause and hollers the likes I’d never heard.
“You tell ‘em Alice!”
“No more slut shaming!”
“Time’s up! Time’s up! Time’s up!
He slammed the gavel down, just as the thunder shook everything in the building. “That’s some storm outside,” I said to Ms. Joan.
She laughed. “That’s some storm inside.”
“The committee will take a five-minute recess!”
“I didn’t get to read my statement,” I said.
“I think they got your message,” she said while shaking her head, smiling.
All the girls rushed up.
“Oh my God, you were on fire!” Rayna said. “I got the whole thing on my phone!”
Lulu was practically hopping in place. “I cannot believe how rude they were, but wow, you sure told them!”
Then there was my sister.
She had no words.
But her pride shone bright and blinding.
And that’s when I knew. I had already won.
It took us a while to get out of that room, but eventually, the university police were able to clear the people out so I could exit the building. Sheets of rain came down, making people scatter.
“Here, I brought you one,” my sister said, handing me an umbrella.
“But what about you?” I asked.
She dug into her bag and, of course, there was another one.
“I’m always prepared,” she winked.
I undid the snap and opened it up, but the storm was so bad, even with an umbrella, rain was coming at us in all directions.
“Alice, look up,” one of them said.
“What?”
I couldn’t see a thing. I walked down the steps with my umbrella in hand. The last of the crowd was running in all directions, people using newspapers and their backpacks to cover their heads.
Except for one.
He was standing in the rain.
And he was waiting for me.
I didn’t care about anything else except getting to him.
I dropped the umbrella and ran as fast as I could.
He opened his arms wide and I fell into them.
All the air whooshed out of my lungs as I buried my face in his neck and let out all the misery I’d kept in over the last couple of weeks.
“Oh, there’s my girl,” he said into my skin, his mouth finding mine. “You were magnificent, the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen.”
I paused. “You saw me?”
“I was in the back,” he said, smiling down at me. “What? You think I’d miss a good ol’ Southern smack down?”
I swallowed the lump of tears in my throat. “Dare, I am so sorry. I shut you out . . . you have no idea how much I’ve missed you . . . I can’t believe you’re here.”
“I’m here. In fact, I traded in my first-class ticket for two economies.”
He was quoting my new favorite movie, The Goodbye Girl.
“God, I love you,” I blurted out. His whole body stilled. “Oh crap, is it too soon? Did I freak you out?”
His hold tightened. “You kidding? I’ve been in love with you since I rummaged through that bag of magic tricks you haul around.”
I threw my head back and laughed. “It was the vibrator that did it, wasn’t it?”
His eyes welled up as he kissed my forehead. “Dixie, it was everything. You are my Wonderland.”
The End
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Rayna, our Queen of Heart
Lulu, our White Rabbit
Caroline, our Favorite Big Sister
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