“There she is! So, girl, how’d it go?”

Clara bounced out of her chair, a big smile on her face as I walked up to my desk.

I’d spent a few minutes in the bathroom fixing my makeup and practicing my expression before I entered the office, but something must have been off, because she immediately sobered.

“Oh, no, Madison. What happened?”

A shaky laugh escaped me at the quick turnaround and my utter failure to hide my emotions.

“What? Is it that obvious?”

Clara rounded our desks and sat on mine. “You look like someone just shot your cat.”

“I don’t have a cat.”

“It’s a metaphor. Did the night not go the way you wanted?”

I collapsed into my desk chair, setting my bag down and breathing deeply to calm myself. “The night was perfect. Absolutely perfect. It was leaving this morning that was the problem.”

“Oh, Madison.” Clara rubbed my arm. “I’m so sad to hear that. You broke up with him?”

I’d always confided details of my dating life to Clara. She knew the routine. Three dates, if the man was worthy. Then came the split. Sometimes, they knew it was coming, and sometimes, I left them in the dark if I didn’t think they could handle it or deserved to know.

Never had I experienced any pain or emotion like this afterward.

“We didn’t even really discuss it. We didn’t have to. I made the expectations very clear leading up to last night.”

Clara shook her head, a small frown on her face. “I don’t know why you can’t just go back to him. Screw your rule. If it’s causing you this much pain, why bother?”

I’d asked myself the same question, but even with how much I liked Carter, it changed nothing. This was the exact scenario the three date rule was supposed to prevent.

“And if we date for a few months and things go sour, what then? How much more devastated will I be?” I asked.

“Then you go through a breakup like a normal person. Yes, it sucks, but we all deal with it. It’s part of being an adult, and it’s the natural result of most relationships. You can’t be scared of it forever.”

She wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t know. But she also didn’t have my history. I had been broken by Gary, and although I put up a strong front, I’d never truly come back together again.

I knew myself better than she did. “It wouldn’t just be a normal relationship with Carter, and it wouldn’t be a normal breakup. I can already sense it, Clara. If I stayed with Carter, I would lose myself in him. It’s not even his fault, but I would let him become my world, and eventually, I’d be so dependent on him that he could do anything to me and I’d allow it. If he broke up with me at that point, I’d be lost.”

That’s what had happened with Gary after my parents died, and I hadn’t even liked him as much as I liked Carter. I couldn’t trust myself around men for longer than a short fling.

Clara pursed her lips as she stared at me. Then she sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know, Madison. I think you’re stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

“You saw me with Gary earlier this week. Did I look strong to you then?” I was still bitter than he had broken me back down to such a sorry state within a minute of seeing him again.

“No. No, you didn’t. I can’t see that ever happening with Carter, though. Just because Gary is an abusive asshole doesn’t mean that Carter will turn out the same way.”

Arguing about the devastating choice within an hour after making it was too difficult. I already felt awful about ending things with Carter, and having to justify myself to Clara wasn’t helping.

“Can we drop it for now?” I asked. “The Carter situation is over. I have to worry about persuading Lorelei to give up on this proposal for Livingston Management.”

Clara shot a black look at the woman’s office. “I think she’s in. Do you want to go in together?”

As hard as her questioning was to deal with, Clara always had my back. “You don’t have to,” I said. “It’s my fight.”

“No, I want to help. You shouldn’t have to do this alone. I was there for the meeting, too.”

I looked at her with gratitude. “Thank you, Clara. It means a lot..”

Gathering my thoughts, I led the way to Lorelei’s door. I tapped on it and opened when I heard her response.

“What is it?” Lorelei asked, not looking up from her screen.

Clara filed into the room behind me and nodded encouragement.

“I can’t meet with Gary Morris,” I said. “Before the last meeting, I mentioned how we used to date, but I didn’t tell you the extent of it. We had a very difficult relationship, and even being near him makes me feel ill.”

Lorelei aggressively tapped something out on her keyboard, then swung her chair around to face us.

“You’re telling me that you want to give up on a contract because you used to date the agent.”

I frowned. “It’s more complicated than that.”

Lorelei shook her head. “If you’re not even willing to try, then you might as well pack up your things right now. If you’re too scared to talk to an ex, you’re not made of stern enough stuff for this industry.”

“That’s not… he expects—”

“He expects what? Sex?” Lorelei cut me off. “What man doesn’t? What’s the point of being single all the time if you can’t use it to your advantage, Madison? In this business, even if you have a husband, you should be willing to at least give the illusion of being willing to put out if it helps seal the deal.”

“Excuse me?” This was the first time I’d heard anything of the sort from Lorelei. I knew she ruthlessly chased new business, but not like this.

The firm’s financial situation must be even worse than she’d let on.

She tapped her finger on her desk as if impatiently explaining to a child how the sun hangs in the sky. “Men like to think they have a chance with every pretty woman they see. If you humor them, you can get the better of them.”

Clara and I exchanged horrified looks.

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Clara said. “Surely, you aren’t saying we should pimp ourselves out for contracts.”

“Of course not,” Lorelei said. “I don’t expect you to go blow the head of LM as part of your proposal. It’s all about the suggestion of sex. As shitty as it is, that’s the reality of the business, ladies. Nothing will change the truism that sex sells, and that extends to business deals. You’re both attractive. If you don’t use that to your advantage, you’re leaving a potent weapon in its holster.”

The suggestion was hard enough to deal with on its own, but when I thought of playing along to solicit business from Gary, it was downright revolting.

“I don’t think you understand,” I said. “Gary used to abuse me when we were together, and he cheated on me and left me. I couldn’t even get a word in at our last meeting. You can ask Clara. I froze up. If it happens again, I won’t even be able to negotiate a good deal for us because I’ll agree to anything just to get away from him.”

Lorelei stared at me for a few seconds, then she sighed and her eyes softened. “I believe in you, Madison. You’re a smart woman with a lot of promise. I don’t think you’ll allow a man to get the better of you, especially if you have the history with him that you said. Confronting this man will be for your own good, and if you succeed, then it’ll be for the good of our company. He said he won’t meet with anyone else, and without this contract, the firm is fucked.”

The rebellion that had risen in me throughout the conversation was quelled. It had been easy to see Lorelei as the bad guy, forcing me to do something I didn’t want to, but the look in her eyes convinced me that it wasn’t so simple.

The thought of seeing Gary again made me feel ill, and at this point, I’d gladly quit my job if it meant I could avoid seeing him ever again. If Lorelei was telling the truth, it wasn’t just my livelihood on the line, but my best friend’s as well.

I glanced at Clara.

“You still shouldn’t do it,” she said. “We’ll find other contracts to keep this place going.”

She was always willing to sacrifice for me. I had to be willing to do the same for her.

“No, I’ll do it,” I said. “It’s time I faced my demons.”