My breath was already uneven, and I hadn’t even spotted him yet. The dread and loathing were inescapable results of any thoughts about Gary.

It was even worse than last time, because now I knew that he could tear me down just as easily as he used to. My years of success and growth since then afforded no protection against his hold on me.

Lorelei’s advice about using sex to close a deal echoed in my mind. I knew that’s what Gary wanted. There was no other reason for him to keep up this charade, pretending like he was interested in our proposal. He was upset that I was better off than he’d left me, and he wanted to prove to himself that he could still have me any time he wished.

The only blessing was that this coffee meeting was in public, so he couldn’t do anything other than hurl insults my way.

The hostess led me to a table near the window, the sun streaming through. It was an oddly bright and airy setting for a meeting with a man who epitomized evil. If I looked hard enough, I could almost see horns and a forked tail.

“Ah, Maddie. It’s good to see you again.” Gary stood and gestured at the seat across the table from him. “Please, have a seat.”

His tone was downright jovial.

“Gary.” I couldn’t manage more than the one syllable, and even that was more than he deserved.

Gary frowned. “Look, I know you’re upset. I’m sorry about how I treated you last time. After so long without seeing you, I was just trying to impress you, but as soon as I started talking, everything went sideways. I’m better than that now, I swear. You just looked so good that I reverted to old habits in an attempt to bring us on an equal level.”

He leaned forward as he spoke, not in a threatening manner, but I still pressed back into my seat. If I didn’t know any better, the earnestness in his voice could have convinced me that he was serious.

But this was Gary. I knew him better than that.

I remained silent, unwilling to even acknowledge his apology.

“It really is nice to see you again,” Gary said. “We had so many good times together.”

After a lot of psyching myself up and role playing into my bathroom mirror, I’d been as prepared as I’d ever be to handle the vicious, misogynistic aspect of Gary. This faux-sweet version threw all of my planning to the wayside.

It was a side of him I hadn’t seen in many years, not since my parents were still alive. Back then, I would have done anything for him, and done it gladly. Before he’d abused my trust.

Gaslighting had been a favorite trick of his, pretending like his abuse hadn’t happened, that my reality was distorted. If I hadn’t seen it before, it may have confused me enough to let my guard down.

So long as I kept my wits, I could deal with this during negotiations. The waitress came to take my order, and I welcomed the distraction as I furiously dismantled and rebuilt my approach.

“You’ve had more time to review the proposal,” I said, ignoring his personal comments and getting straight to business. “How many other firms are still in the running?”

“A couple. I’m keeping my options open until I know there’s someone with something I want.”

I didn’t miss the undertone to his voice. Keeping Lorelei’s words in mind, I barely prevented myself from sighing aloud.

“And what’s missing from our proposal that you want?”

He shrugged. “I’ll know it when I see it. Something with that wow factor, you know? Speaking of which, I’ve missed you. We used to be so close. I never should have let you go.”

I looked away, trying my hardest to avoid slapping him. “I seem to recall your saying something different the other day.”

“I told you, I wasn’t thinking. Don’t you remember how we used to drive up to the airport and watch the planes? You’d pack a picnic, and we’d spend all day out there talking and fooling around. Those are some of my best memories. Aren’t they yours?”

“Once, maybe,” I said. And it was true. Gary had been my first serious boyfriend, and those were the times that everything seemed perfect with the world.

That was before everything went sour. And before I’d met Carter. Every one of my memories with him was better than anything I’d ever done with Gary. It was those memories that I clung to as a reminder that there was something right with the world.

“I’ll admit things were tough after your parents croaked, but we got through it. We were so close in those days. We were there for each other.”

Except for his unfortunate word choice, his acting was perfect. I had to give him that. If I hadn’t lived those years myself, it would have been easy to believe him. And he wasn’t completely wrong. We’d been close, but from my perspective, it was the dysfunctional relationship of a prisoner suffering from Stockholm syndrome.

A terrible thought blossomed. One that made too much sense.

Does he actually remember that as a good relationship?

It was possible that Gary’s expectations and ethics were so skewed that he saw nothing wrong in the way he’d treated me. I had been the ideal, subservient girlfriend he could boss around and take what he wanted from whenever he wanted.

That thought stuck with me, and I watched him closely through the rest of the meeting. I could only keep him on topic half the meeting and had to stomach his sly attempts at ingratiating himself with me the rest of the time. By the end, I had at least kept the proposal alive and avoided punching him in the face and walking away.

“I liked this,” Gary said as we stood up. “Now that business is over, why don’t you come back to my place and we can explore each other again?”

I checked my phone. “I have another client meeting I need to get to, but I’m glad we made progress on the contract.”

“You have a client meeting on a Sunday?” Gary asked. “That’s bullsh—I mean, really?”

“We met today, so why would it surprise you? Work doesn’t wait for the weekdays, Gary.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I guess not.”

“Look over the things we talked about, and I’ll contact your office for another meeting,” I told him. “Bye, Gary.”

Turning away, I didn’t give him another chance to speak. I did have a meeting to get to. I’d gone to great lengths to set it up today. It was my exit strategy in case the meeting with Gary went terribly.

My steps were proud. I’d handled myself well and seen through Gary’s attempts to reel me in. The dread had faded, and a part of me believed I could pull through and land this deal. My confidence was back.

There was one thing still missing from my life.