Chapter 14

 

Lilly

Last night was possibly the best and worst night of my life. James had made it special for us, but my mind wanted to pause time or stretch it out so today would never come. But it did.

Even though I had told him I could take an Uber, James insisted on dropping me at the airport.

“Do you have everything?” he asked, putting my carry-on bag on the bench.

“I think so.”

He gestured to the book sticking out of the side pocket of my bag. “You’re reading the Wizard of Oz?”

“Yeah, I wanted something to read on the plane. Colton recommended this one, but I haven’t had a chance to dive into it yet.”

He nodded, tucking the book securely into the bag. He fished out my little digital camera from his pocket. “I hope you don’t mind. I got up early and made a copy of all the pictures.”

“No, of course not.” I hugged him hard, a gasping sob escaping me despite my best efforts.

He shook his head, frowning. “None of that. This isn’t the end of anything. It’s the beginning of a new journey for you. You’re going to do great things.”

I nodded because the lump in my throat began to grow exponentially. The butterflies all cursed at me, holding up protest signs as they fluttered. “Thank you.”

“I am your biggest die-hard fan, Lilly Franklin. I can’t wait to watch your career take off. If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, I will always have a seat saved for you.”

“Will you be in it, Mr. Seat Stealer?”

He smiled at the sad attempt at humor.

He took me in his arms again and I breathed his scent while he embraced me, lifting me off the ground. He looked down at his watch after he let me go.

“I’ll always be there for you, but you have to go. Your flight’s about to board.” His voice choked on the last few words.

Tell me to stay.

Tell me to stay.

Tell me to stay.

I’m sure I said it aloud, but he didn’t reply. Instead, he shoved his hands in his pocket.

“You’ll do amazing things too. In fact, you already have.” I turned swiftly, taking my rolling luggage with me as the gush of hot, salty tears trailed my face. I’d been strong until this point, but I couldn’t hold back anymore. Thankfully I had a window seat. I leaned against it, hoping the eight-hour flight would go fast.

It was the longest eight hours of my life.

I scrolled though the photos on the camera, my thumb hovering above the display. There were ones of me sleeping that James must have taken. I chuckled at the sight of him and Hayden at the wing-eating contest that was a Tuesday tradition at Blues and BBQ. Then there was us at Roasted and the dance studio. The photos chronicled every magical moment, telling our story one pixel at a time. Toward the end, there was a photo I didn’t remember. James stood on the Pont d’Amour in his running shirt, a knit skullcap over his messy head of hair, the scar on his cheek peeking through his stubble. The pale light of a new day surrounded him, casting a surreal glow around him. He looked like Abercrombie and the MMA had a baby.

The lady next to me, who’d made it her personal mission to disclose her entire life story to me, leaned over to get a look. Her name was Edna. She was going to visit her sister in Paris. She had three cats in a kennel back home. There were lots of other facts I could recite about Edna and her cats, but this wasn’t her story. It was mine…and his.

“Oh my, he’s a handsome one,” she said.

“Yeah, he’s beautiful,” I said, not hiding my pride.

“Boyfriend?”

“Um…no, not anymore.”

She shook her head. “What a shame.”

No kidding, Edna.

“Did you take the video?”

“Video?”

“I may be old, but it’s clear I have a better handle on technology than you. Yes, it’s a video. I have the same camera, and it’s hard to tell with these older ones, but you see the little arrow there?” She pointed to it. He’d left me a video? Her finger hovered above the arrow. I moved it away before she tapped on the icon.

“Excuse me.” I almost jumped over her into the dimly lit aisle of the 747. I wasn’t about to share this moment with anyone, especially a nosy stranger.

I locked myself in the claustrophobic airplane bathroom. I took a deep breath and pushed the play button.

“Hello Lilly,” he said, his lips curving into a slow grin. “You’re probably in Paris by now.”

Guess again, James.

“It took all the strength I had to leave you in that bed while I went for a run. But I needed this distance from you so I could say this with a clear head. A week ago, we kissed on this very bridge. I promised myself I would let you go when the time came. That I wouldn’t stand in your way. That I would support you and not be another burden. But I can’t not tell you this. I’ve shoved the words down my throat, silencing them, but stale words taste worse than sour milk so here it goes.” He took a deep breath, taking off his knit cap in the process. He ran his fingers through his hair. The camera angle became shaky. I wanted to scream at him to stop tormenting me and say it already.

“I love you, Lilly Franklin.”

Oh, fuck me.

I absently wiped my face with the back of my hand. I opened my mouth to respond in kind before I realized it was too late. I’d be speaking to myself.

“I wanted to tell you in person, but I guess I’m a coward. I also didn’t want to cause you any guilt. You don’t have to say it back. It’s probably better you don’t. You’ve shown me in so many ways. My purpose in telling you is simple. I want you to know that no matter where you are in this amazing, shitty, wonderful, fucked up, big-ass world, there is someone in a very tiny town in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan who loves you with all his heart. These last few weeks with you have helped me to remember what it is to have hope again. I will never forget you. You will always be my girl.”

 And he would always be my guy.

For the longest time, I’d been content to be on my own, believing I didn’t need anyone as if it somehow made me stronger. Now, I didn’t think I could survive without him.

If someone had told me the first time I’d hear I love you from the boy who owned my heart and soul in the freaking toilet of Delta Flight 1210, I would have smacked him. Dammit, James! I can’t even say it back.

The anger came then in overwhelming waves.

Why didn’t he say this at the airport? Or at his house the night before? Why the fuck hadn’t he fought for me or asked me to stay?

I would have.

I only left the bathroom when someone knocked on the door. Embarrassed by the long line of irritated passengers, I quickly made my way back to my seat.

“Are you all right, dear?” Edna, who hated airplane food, asked me.

“Yes.”

She continued to prattle on about airplane sickness, handing me a bag.

“I’m fine, thanks.” I took out the book I’d brought so I could excuse my silence.

Thankfully, she took the hint.

I meant to read a few pages and then try to doze off.

Despite Edna’s loud snores, I managed to read the whole thing. I got it. I finally understood why Colton called his brother The Tin Man.

Just as I realized why my handsome, humble Marine hadn’t asked me to stay.