Chapter 2
The next morning, Julia and Bennett sat in the small breakfast room. Though the bold navy and red furnishings normally captured her attention, all Julia could do was stare out the window. Each tick from the longcase clock brought her closer to her meeting with Cameron.
Just seeing him after these six long months brought a plethora of emotions to the surface. Pleasure, pain, joy, and doubt mixed together in a perfect recipe for misery. For icing on the cake, her stomach had twisted into knots that even the most experienced sailor could never untangle.
Bennett leaned back in his chair and stroked the silky black fur of his cat, Maximus. Since the rest of family were out all day, Julia allowed Maximus the run of the dining room. When they lived at their ancestral seat of Lawson Abbey in Leyton, Maximus always found a way to join the family for meals. But when her oldest sister, March Lawson, had married the Marquess of McCalpin, the entire family, including her, their other sister Faith, and Bennett, had joined them. Julia closed her eyes and sighed.
Growing up at the Abbey was a fond memory. In their hometown of Leyton, she never had to worry with gossip or innuendos. But London had taught her how plain meanness and vile rumors could ooze from society—particularly whenever they saw her. Six long months ago, everyone within the ton along with her two sisters, March and Faith, thought Julia would marry Cameron.
But then Cameron had disappeared like a ghost into a wall leaving Julia the one left with the carnage. The gossip rag, The Midnight Cryer, repeatedly said she’d been jilted. Within a week, she’d received a houseful of flowers from Cameron begging her forgiveness, but he’d never called upon her. A month later he sent another note explaining his sister had been ill. Because her complete recovery was questionable, he thought it unfair to keep Julia waiting for his return. Though they weren’t officially betrothed, Cam released her from any promises that existed between them. He’d ended the note with a heartfelt wish that she find happiness in her life.
Julia had been devastated when she received his message. She’d always wondered if it was some excuse to hide the fact that he didn’t want her anymore. But starting two months ago, beautiful red rose bouquets were delivered every week with a card simply signed, “Queensgrace.”
Days then weeks passed by and eventually, her sister Faith had married the love of her life, Dr. Mark Kennett, a successful London physician. Both March and Faith had found the true loves of their lives while Julia had just mildewed like a piece of stale bread. But truth be told, Julia was ecstatic that her sisters had married such fine men. Secretly, she’d always held out hope there was a marvelous man for her to take as a husband.
Yet because of Cameron, damage had been done. Her reputation for one. After Cameron had left, no other suitor feigned any interest in her, the last unmarried Lawson sister. Which made it all the more understandable that she was angry with him. But if she was honest with herself, yesterday after she saw him, the anger that had festered for months slowly started to whither.
Her fickle heart.
“Since I’m the man of the house, I’ll not allow that vagabond to upset you any further.” Bennett straightened the simple knot of his cravat, then pulled down his waistcoat as if he’d not tolerate any nonsense from the earl.
“You’re the man of the house because the marquess is out with March.” She reached out and petted Maximus. The black cat slowly blinked his gold eyes, then rewarded her with a purr.
“You should have told March and McCalpin that Queensgrace would call this morning.”
“I did.” Julia slowly shook her head. “However, I need to talk to him by myself.”
“Let me deal with him.” Her ten-year-old brother announced. “I’ll have him thrown out quicker than Maximus can catch a mouse.”
She shouldn’t be surprised at Bennett’s reaction. He’d inherited their father’s viscountcy when he was less than a year old. Every day, he became more and more comfortable in that role. Still, it amazed her that her little brother had turned into a very proper and very protective young man who would shield her at any cost.
“Bennett, what would I do without you?” Truly, Julia loved her little brother with all her heart. Though he irritated her at times, he was her only brother. She glanced around at the opulence of the room, but her gaze froze at the window. It looked like a blizzard had hit Mayfair. “Look it’s snowing.”
At the word “snow,” Bennett put Maximus down then rushed to the window, proving he was still a boy interested in the season’s delights.
“Snow.” Bennett motioned her forward. “Just look at it, Jules!”
She joined Bennett at the window and gazed at the sparkling blanket of white before them. Such a snowfall was rare in London, but this would guarantee a white Christmas since it was only three days away.
The clock struck half past the hour indicating that Cameron was late. A round of goosebumps prickled her skin like thousands of tiny icicle shards pelting her. She rubbed her hands on the upper part of her arms to keep the cold away. But it still didn’t lessen the fear that he wouldn’t come.
No matter what, this was the last chance she’d give him. She exhaled. Was she really considering giving him another chance? She shook her head to clear such thoughts.
She glanced down at Bennett fully expecting him to still be inspecting the snow. Instead her brother silently studied his shoe. “Julia?”
“Hmm?” A thick black curl had fallen across his forehead. With her fingers, she gently combed it back in place.
“Don’t marry him,” Bennett said softly. “I don’t want to lose you, too.”
She leaned closer until they were almost eye level. “What do mean ‘lose me’?”
“Now that March and Faith are married, it’s just you and me. You’re the one who always quizzes me on my lessons. You correct my grammar and spelling.” His cheeks blossomed into a fiery red. “You read to me.”
“We read together,” she added.
Discreetly, he nodded in answer. “You make time for me.”
Really, this was so unlike Bennett to feel this insecure. Normally, he was the one who gave the orders to his three sisters when the siblings all gathered together.
“You and I are all that’s left of the Lawson family.” His voice cracked on the last two words which caused another bout of red cheeks. “He’ll take you to Scotland, and I’ll never see you. You’re the only one I have left.”
Those softly spoken words hit her square in the stomach and gutted her. She slowly blinked as she struggled for equilibrium.
When she’d been a little girl, Julia had felt the same fear when their parents had died. After suffering such a devastating loss, her place in the world had become untethered like an unmoored boat drifting aimlessly without the security of an anchor. Julia hadn’t let her oldest sister, March, or her other sister, Faith, out of her sight for months. How could she even allow her darling brother to suffer the same?
She pulled him into her embrace and pressed a kiss on top of his head. His arms clenched her waist with a grip that defied his age.
“Bennett, look at me.” She pulled away and tilted his chin until their gazes met. His eyes glistened with emotion, and her heart lurched at the sight. “The earl hasn’t asked me to marry him. Don’t worry about things that haven’t happened. As long as you need me, I’ll be by your side. Understand?”
He nodded once.
A footman cleared his throat. “Miss Lawson, the Earl of Queensland is calling. I put him in the front sitting room. Are you receiving?”
“Yes, I’ll see him.” She squeezed Bennett once more, then slowly released her hold. Instead of looking at her, he studied the falling snow outside. But she saw the lone tear that cascaded down his cheek.
He quickly dashed it away. “I’m going outside.”
“After I finish with Queensgrace, I’ll join you.”
“I’d like that,” he said softly, then quickly ran from the room.
Taking her heart with him.