Chapter 6
Julia sensed Cam everywhere around her. From the scent of peppermint that reminded her of his kisses to the soft wool scarves that reminded her of his morning coat when his strong arms had held her. She could find a connection to Cam in every single item that surrounded her at Grigby’s Haberdashery. With a deep sigh, she forced herself to admit it. After telling the earl she couldn’t marry him, he haunted her day and night, particularly in her dreams when he’d take her in his arms and whisper sweet nothings while kissing her under boughs of mistletoe.
She shook her head slightly. She was a sorry example of a lovelorn goose. The quicker she finished her shopping, then the quicker she could prepare for tomorrow’s small soiree at March and McCalpin’s house. Most of McCalpin’s family had traveled to Falmont, the Duke of Langham’s ancestral home, for the holidays. But McCalpin and March, along with Faith and Mark, had friends who would visit tomorrow evening in celebration of Christmas.
Normally, she’d be overcome with excitement, but these past several days had taken the joy out of the simplest things, including the holiday.
“Hello, Miss Lawson,” a whisky dark voice murmured.
Without looking up, she’d recognize that deep cadence anywhere. It was him. Her heartbeat accelerated that Cam stood beside her. She forced herself to look up, and the sight stole her breath. He was magnificent in a subtle plaid morning coat with a deep red waistcoat and dark grey pantaloons. His Hoby boots glistened even though the London streets were somewhat mushy from the snow that had fallen two days ago.
“My lord,” she answered. She straightened her shoulders and forced herself to smile. Though she couldn’t marry him, at the very least, they should be friends, even if her contrary heart protested such an outcome. “It’s good to see you.”
“Is it?” he asked. A wry smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
She blushed at his obvious teasing. “You know that it is true. Every time…”
He leaned down and his grey eyes studied her. Her heart fluttered in her chest as if desperate to break free and reach him.
“Every time what, sweetheart?” His words floated over her, then he did the unthinkable. He caressed her cheek with the back of his finger, the touch soothing but at the same time making her want more, causing a heat that could never be satisfied.
“Whenever you’re near, I’m happy. But you know that.” Unable to control her joy at seeing him, a tremulous smile crossed her lips. “When are you going back to Scotland?”
“I’m not certain.” A scowl marred his handsome face. “My plans have been upended.”
“Because of me. I apologize that caused you such an inconvenience.” She bit one lip, and his gaze narrowed to her mouth causing a heated blush to bludgeon her cheeks. “I wanted to say ‘yes.’ You believe me, don’t you?”
She loved him so much that her heart ached. How could fate be so capricious and cruel at the same time, particularly at Christmas, when it brought him back into her life, but then not allow them to be together.
“Julia, I do. At first, I wasn’t certain after we last parted. But just seeing your beautiful face light up”—his gaze caressed every inch of her face as if committing it to memory—“makes me believe you love me.”
They would soon part for good, and she never wanted him to doubt her true feelings for him. In the past, when she’d thought these last six months were hard, she had no idea what would face her. The next six months without him promised to be unbearable. She could only survive it, and the years that would follow, if he realized that she would always love him. She didn’t expect him to wait for her while Bennett grew to adulthood. But she also didn’t want him to think that she’d rejected him because she didn’t love him.
He caressed her cheek again. “You’re so precious to me.”
A hateful tear crept into her eye as his words surrounded her. How could she give him up? Then reason took over from her wayward emotions, and she remembered her commitment to Bennett. She put her gloved hand over his and squeezed. “I want you to promise me something.” Before he could answer, she leaned close. “Never forget that I love you and always will. You’ll never be alone. Miles may separate us, but you have my heart forever.”
Without giving him a chance to respond, she quickly leaned up on tiptoes and gently pressed a kiss against his mouth. No well-respected young woman did such an outlandish thing out in public, but she didn’t care. Deep in her heart, the truth couldn’t be denied. If she couldn’t marry Cam, then she’d never marry. There was only man who could ever possess her heart, and she couldn’t have him.
Before she said anything foolish or changed her mind, she darted out of the shop clutching the presents she’d carefully selected for Bennett.
At this moment, if she never celebrated Christmas again, it would be too soon. For the holiday only meant one thing to her now.
The day she lost the love of her life forever.
The lass’s behavior left Cam bemused and somewhat flummoxed. All he’d wanted to do was to inform her of his plans for how they could be together. He rubbed a hand down his weary face before he suddenly realized what had occurred. It was his very own Christmas miracle. Julia Lawson would love him, Cameron Dunmore, forever with every fiber of her being.
Just like he would for her.
Unable to control his glee, he laughed aloud. The shopkeepers, Mr. and Mrs. Grigby, looked up from their work and smiled at the sound.
He nodded his greeting to the middle-aged couple, then turned his attention to the shop window. His darling, the lovely woman who had captured his heart, beat a fast retreat down the London street as if the devil himself were ready to claim her. But Cam had no cause to worry as he’d already claimed that enviable spot.
Julia Lawson was his now and forever, and he knew exactly how to woo his Christmas bride.
She’d see exactly what a Scotsman does when he wants a woman to take notice.