Lara

My fading orgasm is like warm honey beneath my skin, and my lips are sealed to Mark’s. Our tongues entwine, curling, tasting, still hungry after so long apart, desperate for more. He’s like water and oxygen, a deep breath of fresh air at the top of a tall mountain.

“Mark,” I whisper as his lips move to my cheek, my ear.

I’m in his arms, and it feels so right.

And it’s not an illusion.

It’s very, very real.

He pulls me closer, we’re skin against skin, and we rotate to the side. I place my palm against his cheek and look into his eyes… an ache moves through my stomach. I see so much love there and so much hurt. I want to take it all away, atone for what I’ve done, but I don’t know how.

“What do you see?” I ask.

He doesn’t smile. “You’re looking at me the same way you did in Nice.”

Reaching up, I trace my finger along the line of his jaw, smiling, hoping he’ll smile back. “Like I love you?”

“Like it’s a lie. Like you’re going to leave again.”

My brow falls, and I take my hand away. “How did you find me?”

“You returned to the scene of the crime.”

“What?” Panic briefly grips me.

“Your concert with Roland at the piano bar. It was featured on a local website.”

“Oh.” I relax again. “I should have realized. Nothing’s private anymore. Cameras are everywhere.”

“Almost everywhere.”

My lips press together briefly, and I dare to meet his angry eyes. “I’m so sorry, Mark.”

“Stop.” The blaze of anger burns hotter. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

“I do mean it. More than you could ever know.”

He pushes into a sitting position, the muscles in his torso flexing as he moves. I reach out to trace my finger down his side, and he catches my hand, holding it away from his body. It hurts that he doesn’t want me to touch him now.

I move to sit up beside him, clutching the duvet around my naked body. “What can I do? Is there any way I can make this right?”

His square jaw moves, and I want to touch him. Having him again, then having him pull away so quickly makes the pain of loss even more unbearable. “You’ll have to prove I can trust you.”

“How?” I’m eager to do whatever it takes.

“Leave here with me now. Come to Alaska, bring the baby, bring Molly… We can get her the help she needs—”

With every word my chest grows tighter. “I want that… I want all of that. I’m just not sure I can convince Molly. And, well… Would you be willing to wait just a few more days?”

His eyes flash. “So you can go after Gavin?”

“Roland told you that?”

“He told me this time it’s more than Molly. This time it’s for you.”

“Yes, but not in the way you think. I want answers. He knows so much of my past…”

“And if the answers only lead to more questions? When does it end, Lara?”

“I don’t know.” My eyes are on my twisting fingers, and I remember how I felt last night, longing for Mark. Feeling like I’m in over my head. I remember the panic of eminent confrontation, and wanting him to hold my hand, tell me to breathe.

Slowly, I lift my eyes to his. “Would you help me?”

The smallest crack appears in the tension between us; the door keeping me out opens slightly. “What do you want me to do?”

Taking a chance, I put my hand on the back of his hand. He doesn’t pull away this time.

“I don’t want to do this alone. I want you to help me get the answers I need.” His hand turns over, and our fingers thread, our palms slide together. I lift my eyes to meet his. “Will you help me find the peace I need? Help me banish this last demon?”

“I’ve only ever wanted to help you.” His brow is still furrowed, but he’s softening. “I’ll tell Roland we might be staying a little longer.”

That makes me jump back. “Roland’s here? But who’s watching—”

“Jillian’s with him. With us—she’s down the hall in his room.”

He’s still speaking as I rip the duvet off me and run to the closet to grab one of the white robes. I hastily tie it around my body, and I’m out the door, trotting down the hall when I realize I don’t know the room number. Stopping, I look back to see Mark wearing only his slacks, following me with a smile on his face. A real smile that warms me to my toes.

“It’s Room 522,” he calls, and I let out a little squeal, scanning the doors.

It’s right across the hall, and I tap soft and fast on the door. It opens almost at once, and I do another squeal when I see her on his shoulder, bright blue eyes round and curious. As soon as she sees me, she smiles and makes her cute little baby noises, and I take her in my arms.

“Oh, Jilly!” My eyes heat, and I kiss the side of her head repeatedly, inhaling her baby-powder scent. “My little sweet potato. Did you miss Mommy? Mommy missed you so much!”

She makes a noise and scrubs her face against my shoulder. She presses her head against me, and I hug her close, swaying gently as I hold her little body, kissing her over and over. She fills me with so much calm and joy.

“I know I’m a step above chopped liver these days, but I’m glad to see you, too,” Roland says, a wry smile curling his lips.

“I’m glad you’re here.” I step forward to kiss his cheek.

“Are you?” A dark brow cocks. “I was afraid you’d be livid with me for all of this.”

“I thought I would, too,” I say in a soft baby-voice, rubbing my nose against Jillian’s skin. “But I’m so happy to see my sweet girl.”

She coos, and the warmth at my back tells me Mark has joined us. His hands cover my shoulders, and I lean my back against his chest as he circles us in his arms.

“She really is a beauty,” he says at my ear, and she perks up at the sound of him. She smiles and blinks, and he takes her out of my arms. “She’s daddy’s girl,” he says, and Jilly leans her head against his bare chest, a chubby finger in her mouth.

“Well, of all the things.” I put my hands on my hips, pretending to be offended, but the truth is I’m thrilled. She already seems to know and love her daddy.

“He’s getting better at helping with her,” Roland observes, leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed.

“Hey, I’ve never been around babies before.”

“I told you it isn’t rocket science.”

“Oh, ignore him,” I fuss, placing my face close to Jilly’s, my hand on her back. “He thinks he’s the baby whisperer because she rarely cries for him.”

“She only cries when her needs are not properly met.”

Lifting my chin, my eyes meet Mark’s, and we both laugh. Jilly’s eyes blink slowly, and her little ear is pressed right above her daddy’s heart. I wonder if she can hear it beating.

“Let’s go to our room,” I say softly. “When was her last bottle?”

“A few minutes before I opened the door. She’s burped and changed and ready for a nap.”

“What’s going on here?” The impatient female voice causes me to take a step back. “What are they doing here?”

“Well, hello, Molly,” Roland says in his usual play-formal way. “It’s great to see you, too. Isn’t the weather nice for Seattle?”

“Why are you here? You’re supposed to be in New Orleans with the baby.”

“Molly.” I go to her, reaching for her hand. “Mark brought Roland and Jillian to find us.”

“We weren’t lost,” she snaps, giving Roland a stern look. “He knew we were here.”

“I think Lara mis-phrased that,” Roland continues, teasing her annoyance. “I would’ve said Roland and Jillian were dragged along with Mark to find us… or does that make it more confusing?”

Turning to Mark, I put my hand on his forearm. “Would you take Jilly to our room so I can talk to Molly?”

The expression on his face is different from earlier—more open, loving. It seems I’m not the only one susceptible to our daughter’s healing powers.

“Sure.” He moves his arm so our hands unite. “I’ll put her down for a nap. Don’t be too long.”

I smile, and he leaves us for our room. For a moment, all I can do is watch him walking away, silhouetted in the light from the far window, broad shoulders, narrow waist, amazing ass in those tailored slacks, ripples of muscles holding our tiny infant so gently against his bare chest.

“You can pull your tongue in your mouth now,” Molly snarks. My eyes cut to hers, and she’s fuming.

“I’ll leave you two alone. Moulin Rouge is on.” Roland steps away from the door, and it closes behind him with a slam.

We walk the short distance to her room and go inside. It’s immaculately clean, with her clothes arranged by type and color in her suitcase. Her dresses are hung neatly in the closet, and her toiletries are aligned in rows with morning items on the left and evening on the right.

She whisper-shouts as soon as the door closes. “Why are they here?”

“I told you—”

“They’re going to ruin everything. It’s already tricky enough with you here, and now them?”

I don’t know what to say. “I didn’t ask them to come.”

“So tell them to go and take that baby with them!” She’s pacing the room, arms crossed, silver hair fanning around her.

“You mean my daughter?” I’ve done my best to be patient with her version of sibling rivalry, but I’ve sacrificed a lot for this girl.

She spins on her high heel and faces me. “We have a meeting in thirty minutes with Joshua. He has Candi, a runaway teen who works as one of Gavin’s hookers. She’s willing to talk to us.”

My brow lowers. “About what?”

“To prove to you he hasn’t changed. He only changed locations, but he’s doing the same thing here he always did there.”

Pressing my lips together, I sit on the edge of her bed, holding the robe closed at my chest. “It’s not exactly the same if she works for him willingly. It’s not legal, but if he’s her pimp, it mean he protects her.”

“Until Guy shows up!” Her eyes flash to mine, and I swallow the nerves tightening my throat. She hasn’t said that name in years. Where is this coming from?

“Guy is dead. I told you—”

“But you never saw his body. No one did, and then the theater conveniently burned to the ground.”

My eyes are fixed on my trembling fingers. Only two people know what really happened to Guy, and neither of us has ever spoken of it. It could be very bad. For both of us.

“He’s not going to show up again,” I say a little sterner, my insides tight.

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll be ready when he does.” She’s pacing again, her jaw clenched. “I’m searching for him, and I will find him.”

Standing fast, I tighten the belt on my robe. “What time are we meeting this Candi?”

“Half hour at the Redwood Bar.”

I glance at the clock on her bedside table, tension hot in my chest. “I’ll meet you in the lobby at four forty-five.”

I have to knock on my door, and when Mark opens it, my fears magically subside. He leans on one arm over my head, causing the muscles in his bare torso to flex so attractively. I don’t even enter the room, I lean against the doorjamb in front of him.

“Did I mention how happy I am you’re here?”

A sexy grin curls his lips. “Even if it spoils your plans?”

“I’ll tell you a secret,” I say, leaning closer. “We didn’t have a plan. We never really do.”

His face tightens. “Maybe you don’t have a plan, but after what happened to Esterhaus, I’m pretty sure Molly does.”

I know he’s right, and the happy feelings provoked by the sight of him begin to wilt. “Where’s Jilly?” I ask, passing him to enter the room.

The door closes quietly, and I glance back to see him easing it shut. Turning to the bed, I see my tiny baby sleeping peacefully, surrounded by large pillows. Everything about this has demolished any hope for me keeping him out.

Standing at the edge of the bed, I look down at her. He stands behind me again, placing his hands on the tops of my shoulders.

“She’s like this perfect, magical little thing,” I whisper watching her sleep, then my jaw clenches. “I’ll never let anything bad happen to her as long as I live.”

“You’re not alone this time.” He circles my waist with his arms, his chin on my shoulder. “If you think I’m ever letting the two of you out of my sight again, you’ve got another thing coming.”

It comforts me to hear him say the words. It’s something I never had before, something I always longed for. “Molly, on the other hand, is going to be more difficult to convince.”

Straightening, he turns me to face him. “What did she say?”

“We’re meeting this young guy, Joshua. He’s introducing us to a girl who supposedly works for Gavin.”

“Okay?” Confusion lines his brow.

“She’s a prostitute.” That changes his expression, and I step out of his arms, going to my closet. “Molly’s convinced Gavin is doing the same thing here he did in New Orleans, and she wants to expose him.”

“Good,” he says, sitting on the edge of the bed. “She can expose him, and I can have him arrested. We need fresh evidence. Everything in New Orleans is either burned or hearsay.”

Scooping up my underwear, I carry my jeans and a fresh blouse into the bathroom, calling softly. “I’m not sure arresting him is what Molly has in mind.”

He steps to the door, watching as I dress. The smile on his lips heats my insides, and I wish I didn’t have to leave.

“I want to go with you,” he says.

Slipping my shirt over my head, I touch his chest, rising on my toes to kiss his lips. “If it’s just Joshua and Candi, we’re okay to go alone.”

We exit the bathroom, and he goes to the dresser where the large, flatscreen television sits silent and dark. “Unblock my number.”

The tone in his voice stops me. It’s laced with remnant anger, and I almost wonder if we’ve gone all the way back to the beginning.

“Hand it to me,” I say. He stretches it out, and I take it with trembling fingers, touching the face quickly and finding his name. “I only did it because it hurt too much to see…”

My voice breaks off, and he holds my forearms. “Never do it again.”

Lifting my chin, my eyes are serious when they meet his. “I’ll never do it again.”

“Here,” he reaches out, and I hand him my phone again. “I’m going to turn on your tracker, connect your phone with mine so I know where you are. If anything feels wrong, text me, and I’ll be there. Jilly will be safe here with Roland.”

Nodding, I rise on my toes to kiss his lips once more. “I will.”

Taking my clutch, I go to the door and pause, looking back. He’s standing, watching me, with our baby sleeping peacefully on the bed.

It’s everything I want in the world, right here in this room.