My hand reaches over to feel empty space to next me. Roman isn’t in bed. The only time we haven’t woken up together is when he made me breakfast in bed. Was that only yesterday? It feels like a lifetime ago. The events of yesterday shouldn’t have been able to happen in only a twenty-four-hour period, but over days, months, even years. I pad out of the room in search of Roman.

Worry starts to coat my skin as each room I pass is empty. My ears are straining to hear anything as I stand in the middle of the house, searching for any sign of noise. “Roman,” I call. “Roman, are you here?”

Nothing. No answer.

I peak my head into the garage, wondering if he’s using the workout equipment, but he isn’t. It’s empty. My eyes close as I swallow past the lump in my throat. Please be there. Slowly walking toward the front door, I’m apprehensive about what I’ll find. The longer I take, the longer I resist my world completely shattering. He wouldn’t, would he?

With my hand on the doorknob to the front door, I close my eyes, taking ten deep breaths then throw it open. My body sags in relief against the door. The van’s still here. He didn’t leave me. Closing the front door behind me, I lean against it wondering where he could be. Deciding to call him, I walk back toward the bedroom to grab my phone, but stop when I pass the living room.

There he is.

Sitting in a lawn chair in the backyard staring at nothing. He doesn’t acknowledge me when I step outside and say his name quietly. Slowly stepping in front of him, I try to get him to look at me, but he doesn’t. He just stares mindlessly past me. I move in front of him, pushing an arm off his lap to sit and curling into his chest. His arms wrap around me and his head falls to my shoulder, taking deep, shuddering breaths as he holds me tightly.

“You scared me,” I say softly, trailing my fingers along his perfect face.

“I’m sorry, Sugar. I had to do it. I would have destroyed this house if I stayed here. The punching bag at the gym was the only thing I could think of.”

I shake my head. “Not that. I worried about that, but it didn’t scare me. I’ve been looking for you all over the house. I thought you left me. I even checked outside in front to see if the van was there still there.”

“Harper,” Roman says, pulling his head back from my shoulder and turning my face to look at him. His eyebrows are drawn together, his lips turned down in a frown. “I wouldn’t leave you. Ever.”

My forehead drops to his. “I know. I just got scared.”

Roman’s lips twitch as he looks at me. “If I did leave, I sure as fuck wouldn’t take that van.”

I adjust myself on his lap so my head is resting against his shoulder. A cool, fall breeze blows over us, and leaves dance across the yard. “I don’t know, I think it suits you.”

“Don’t say that, Sugar. You’ll wound my pride.”

“I think Roman Marx is enough of a badass, he’d look sexy in any car.”

“Badass, hmm?” Roman says, kissing along my neck.

I shrug. “Not as badass as Kiernan, but you’ll do.”

“Hilarious,” he mutters dryly.

I turn my face to kiss him on the lips. “Good morning, handsome.”

“Morning, Sugar.”

“We should talk about everything.”

He blows out a breath. “Yep.”

I start small, not quite ready to bring out the big guns. “One of your employees is a mole.”

“Rafael took away your store,” Roman replied sadly.

“My dad helped the cartel.”

“I have a dad.” Roman blows out a breath. “And, I knew him.”

My hand cups the side of his face, desperately wanting to take away his pain and every other negative emotion swirling around inside of him. “Yeah,” I say. “That one is a doozy.”

“Fuckin’ tell me about it.”

We lapse into silence, both of us lost to thoughts in our heads. My father is still making me question everything about my life. But reading his letter, seeing his handwriting and his words on the page, made me miss him so fiercely. He knew me so well.

“I want to know which offshore accounts were from my dad.”

Roman looks at me, asking so many questions with his eyes. “I’ll get the information, Sugar. What did your letter say?”

I try to move off Roman’s lap, but he holds me to him. “I’ll be right back,” I whisper, trying to stand again. He lets me go this time, watching every step I take away from him. I feel his eyes on me the whole time, and they’re there to meet me as soon as I come back into view after grabbing the letter addressed to me.

I stand in front of him and hold it out. “Read it,” I say.

“Come here,” he says, opening his arms.

“Read it first.”

He shakes his head. “I can read it with you right here in my arms.”

I find my place on his lap again then hand over the letter. “You sure you’re okay with me reading this?” he asks.

“Of course.”

I stay silent, watching his face as he takes in each word. I watch his face slip through expressions, eyebrows drawn in confusion, eyes widening in surprise, and even a little bit of anger and sadness. It’s everything I felt reading the letter, too.

“Wow,” Roman says when he’s done.

“Yeah.”

“Is this why you were urging me to read my letter?”

“Yes,” I say.

“I thought he must have told you in this letter.”

I shake my head. “No, he didn’t. I just thought you would get as many answers as me.”

“You’re okay with the money from your dad?”

I shrug and then nod. “I trust him. As crazy as that sounds with the things we’ve discovered. I completely trust him, it’s not dirty money. It’s from his legit business.”

“I think that’s a good plan. We’ll get it figured out.”

“I think I get it,” I say quietly. “I’m not sure I understand, but I get it.”

“Get what?” Roman asks.

“Why he helped Santiago. He couldn’t break that family connection, even if they weren’t blood brothers.”

Roman nods. “I don’t want any of this to tarnish the memories of your dad. He was a great dad. In so many ways, I hope I’m like him for our little nugget.”

“I do, too,” I whisper.

“Are you going to read the letters meant for Sadie and your mom?”

“They’re not for me,” I say. “I feel wrong doing it, but I want to know if my mom knew.”

“I don’t think anyone would hold it against you if you read their letters.”

“I think I’d hold it against me, but I’m still thinking about it.”

Roman doesn’t respond, only rubs my thigh, lost in his own thoughts. After several long moments, Roman breaks the silence. “We need to look at that flash drive. I’m going to tell Kiernan to come over for it. If it’s encrypted, he’ll be able to read it faster than I can.”

I nod. “Yeah. Roman, we need to talk about Santiago.”

“Not now,” he says bitterly. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

Roman stands, setting me on my feet gently. “Roman,” I say, trying to reason with him.

He opens the door, stepping inside. “Harper. I never had a dad, that hasn’t changed. I don’t have a family.” He doesn’t wait for me to come inside with him; he goes straight for the bedroom as I stand there in the cool, fall breeze. My heart is breaking.