Chapter 6
Lauren watched Seth put on his rain gear and leave the cave, cursing her beating heart. How could the simple act of putting on rain gear make her heart beat faster? This fascination with Seth had to stop, it was unprofessional and sure to end with her getting her heart broken. She knew that Seth was the last kind of man she should get involved with, and wasn’t even sure that he was feeling what she was feeling.
She’d thought that he was going to kiss her a couple of times over the last few days but had backed away in the end. It might have just been her overactive imagination and the fact that she hadn’t been with a man in over two years, a conscious choice she might be paying for right now. Deep down she was very aware that if he’d tried to kiss her, she would have let him but kept telling herself that she would never let it go any farther.
To push the thoughts of what that farther might include from her mind, she set about making breakfast. Rummaging through the boxes of supplies, she got out their usual: oatmeal with dried fruit and nuts. They’d both been carefully rationing their coffee, but Lauren decided that today was the kind of day that called for a nice strong cup, maybe even two cups. As she was digging around in the boxes, she knocked one over to reveal a big black box she didn’t remember seeing before.
When she opened it up, she was shocked to discover that it was really a cooler and it was full of meat, cheese, milk, and eggs. There was even a compartment full of fresh fruit and vegetables. She tried not to be angry, it was clear that Seth hadn’t eaten any of the food, but when she thought about all the freeze-dried food she’d eaten over the last week it was hard.
While she made breakfast, she kept telling herself that Seth had to have a good reason from bringing all this food and not telling her. But the minute he got back into the cave she confronted him. “What is all this?”
Seth had the good grace to look embarrassed. “Um, let’s eat breakfast and I’ll tell you,” he said, trying to figure out what to tell her. It had been a stupid juvenile thing to do, but he’d hidden the food from her so she’d have to eat the freeze-dried stuff.
Lauren shot him a dirty look, but got their food and handed him his. They sat down by the fire and ate in silence for a few minutes, but Lauren had come to the end of her patience. “Well?”
“Look, I’m just going to be honest with you. I didn’t tell you about the food because I figured you’d get tired of the dehydrated stuff and want to go home. I was trying to make this as difficult for you as possible hoping you’d cut the trip short, then I was too embarrassed to tell you,” he said, unable to meet her eyes.
Lauren thought about that as she ate her oatmeal, then poured them both a cup of coffee. There was really no way that she could be mad at him for doing almost the same thing she’d been doing. Seth did look sorry and there was all that food in the cooler, just thinking about it made her mouth water.
“I’ll forgive you as long as you say we can eat some of that,” she said, then added, “I’ve been trying to make this harder on you too. I really didn’t need those samples, but you were in such a hurry…”
Seth was so happy that she wasn’t mad, a reaction he’d have to think about later, that he didn’t tell her that he was still in a hurry and that this storm had created a new problem. Instead, he said, “Lauren, I really am sorry. It was a juvenile thing to do, but I was going to tell you about it today.”
She knew that she’d have to take him at his word, and she had done some things to make the trip more difficult too. “I guess we better both start acting like adults,” she said, shrugging her shoulders, thinking that it felt nice not to be sparing with him for once.
“Truce?” Seth suggested.
“Truce,” Lauren agreed.
By the time they’d eaten dinner, the rain had finally quit, but they were trapped in the cave for one more night. Lauren was grateful for its protection, but it was beginning to feel much too small for she and Seth together. They were sitting next to each other by the fire, full of dinner but far from sleepy, both bored to tears. Lauren had tried to read the book she’d brought and Seth had tried to work, but neither could concentrate with the tension that had grown between them.
Lauren was lost in her own thoughts, thoughts of Seth, when he asked, “How did a southern girl like you end up in Alaska?” He’d been dying to ask her, but not brave enough until boredom got the better of him.
Lauren thought about his question. She’d certainly asked it of herself often enough over the last week. “Honestly, this isn’t exactly what my plan was. I sort of ended up at the EPA after I graduated,” she said, not quite sure how to explain how she’d ended up with the job she had. “I have a degree in biochemistry, but most of the jobs I could have gotten without any more education were in a lab.”
“Why didn’t you keep going with your education?” Seth asked.
“I’m not like you, I had to pay for my education. I got grants and scholarships, but that wasn’t enough to cover everything, I had to work to pay for the rest. When the internship with the EPA came up, it seemed like a good way to make some connections, and it was a paid internship.”
“But it’s not really what you wanted to do.” Seth was seeing a side of Lauren he hadn’t seen before and knowing that she’d worked so hard only to end up in a job that wasn’t her choice made him sad.
“No, but I found myself fast tracked, and here I am. Sometimes I wonder if it’s my education and talent that got me here or… well the fact that I’m a black woman.” She’d never voiced that fear to anyone before, and she shouldn’t be saying it now, but it felt good to say it out loud.
“I’m sure that can’t be the reason. Why would they put you in charge of something as big as this if that was true?” Seth asked, completely unaware of how things worked in the government.
“Because I’m a good scapegoat, if this goes badly, I’ll be the one who gets the blame. The press won’t care that all of this happened long before I took over, they’ll roast me and the director will fire me. It will be a big story for a little while, then it will fade.” Lauren felt a weight lifted off her shoulders, wondering why she was telling Seth all of this, when it might help him in the end.
But she’d long ago stopped fighting him; whatever happened from here on out, he had her support and he seemed to sense that. “I promise this is going to work, you won’t be used as a scapegoat, in fact this will make your career,” he said, and then without thinking pulled her into his arms and hugged her.
When his arms came around her, a small storm of emotions erupted inside Lauren. She’d wondered what it would feel like to have his strong arms around her, but nothing could have prepared her for the real thing. She looked up at him to see if he’d felt it too and when their eyes met she saw the desire in their blue depths. Flustered she tried to pull away, but he pulled her closer and brought his mouth down on hers.
His lips were firm and soft, and when his tongue dipped into her mouth, she sighed with pleasure, the kiss so much better than she’d imagined. Giving in to his explorations was easy, she simply closed her eyes and let him kiss her, suddenly feeling so alive she didn’t want him to stop. But when his hands began to roam over her body, she suddenly realized what they were doing and pulled out of his arms.
Jumping to her feet, she circled the fire and stared at him. “We shouldn’t have done that,” she said, bringing her fingers up to her lips which were still alive with the feeling of his. “It’s unprofessional.”
“Unprofessional or not, that was the best kiss I’ve ever had,” Seth said, getting up from where he’d been sitting and stepping in front of her. “Can you honestly say you didn’t enjoy it?”
Lauren wanted to deny how wonderful the kiss had been, but she couldn’t. “It was a nice kiss, but Seth, it’s a really bad idea. This is my career we’re talking about. Besides don’t you have plenty of women who would be happy if you kissed them?” Lauren was desperate to convince him that getting involved was a mistake, the whole time wishing they could.
Seth seemed to come back to himself, the power of the kiss draining away with her words. “I’m sorry, you’re right. The last thing you’d want to do is get involved with someone like me. I’m sure someday you’ll want to have a family, children maybe, and I have no plans to do any of those things,” he said, turning away from her and going to his sleeping bag. “Let’s just get some sleep, we’ll get an early start tomorrow.”
Lauren was still thinking about the kiss the next morning; it had been an eye-opening experience for her, nothing in her past could even compare to the way she felt when Seth kissed her. Had they been in different circumstances she never would have pushed him away, probably would have let him take that kiss as far as he wanted to. She was sure that his declaration about never getting married and having kids was designed to put her off, but in fact it had done the opposite.
They hadn’t ever talked about it, but Lauren had made her mind up long ago that she would never put herself in the same position her mother had been in. She’d never let a man rule her life the way her father had ruled her mother’s, she had dreams and plans that had nothing to do with taking care of a man and a bunch of kids for the rest of her life. Call her selfish, but that’s the way she planned to live her life. She had more than enough family already, she didn’t need one of her own.
She turned the possibilities of a relationship with Seth over and over in her mind, but couldn’t find any way around the fact that it would always be unprofessional, unless she quit her job, and great kisser or not she wasn’t about to do that. The only answer she could come up with was to keep her distance, to make sure that nothing like the kiss last night ever happened again.
Watching Seth load his gear, she wished that it didn’t have to be that way. Seth made her feel good, made her feel things she’d never felt before. Sighing because she knew she couldn’t have what she wanted, she loaded her gear and got ready to leave. There were only a few days left before they went home, if she could just make it till then, she’d make sure that they were never alone again, even if she had to drag Heather with her everywhere she went.
As they drove off, Seth was thinking about the kiss too, only he was thinking about kissing Lauren again. Never had a woman affected him the way Lauren had, just kissing her had made his blood boil and his groin tighten. Rarely did he pursue a woman, they came to him and he used them as he needed, but Lauren was different. Not only did she stir him physically, but she challenged him mentally.
He knew that he should back off, professionalism and all that, but he wasn’t going to. As simple as his life was, he never gave up on something he wanted, not since his father had thrown him out of his study. That day he promised himself that if he wanted something he’d get it, and he wanted Lauren more than he’d wanted anything in a long time. The only trick was going to be convincing her that a physical relationship between them wasn’t going to interfere with her doing her job, which might not be all that easy.
If nothing else he’d simply wear her down; he’d felt her response when he’d kissed her, felt the passion brewing beneath the surface. Eventually she’d give in to the desire that was blossoming between them. It was only a matter of time before she’d give in, and he’d have some extra time, thanks to the storm.
It wasn’t long before she figured out that they were going the wrong way. “Aren’t we supposed to be heading south, not north?” she asked, when she figured out which way they were traveling.
“I’ve been putting off telling you that there’s no time for me to take you home. If I do I won’t make my meeting with the Yup’ik,” he said, waiting for an explosion.
“So, you’re taking me with you?”
“I don’t think I have any choice. I could drop you off at my cabin, but you’d have to stay there alone for a least a week,” he offered, hoping she wouldn’t take him up on the offer. An extra week with her might just be long enough to get what he wanted.
“Oh, um… That’s okay. I’ll go with you as long as it’s not going to be a problem for me to show up uninvited,” she said, not sure what scared her more: staying at his cabin alone or meeting a group of what she imagined were very unhappy people. If she’d been one of them and Seth’s family had treated her the way they’d treated the Yup’ik, she wouldn’t be very kind to him.
“It’ll be fine. I’ve had my problems with the Yup’ik, but since I’ve lived around them for so long I’ve made a few friends who understand what I’m trying to do,” Seth said with more conviction than he felt. It was a risk to take Lauren with him, but he couldn’t see any other way out.
After three days of traveling over mud-filled trails, Lauren began to see signs of people, small tightly built houses, most with barns in the backyards and stacks of firewood already piled up for winter. She saw smoke houses, their little puffs of smoke perfuming the air with the scent of smoked salmon, gardens practically bursting with produce, and chickens scratching in the yards.
When they passed a trail leading to the west, Seth said, “My cabin is up that trail about ten miles and we’re only about three miles from the village.”
The closer they got, the more nervous she became. Meeting new people had never been a problem for her, but she’d never been in a situation quite like this one. It didn’t help that Seth was becoming tenser with each mile they traveled, his body language changing the closer they got. By the time they reached the village, a small cluster of homes surrounding a large building in the center, his face had changed, almost as if he’d put on a mask to cover up how tense and nervous he was.
They pulled up in front of the large building and shut off the four-wheelers. Seth gave Lauren a tight smile, got off his four-wheeler, and offered her his hand, something he’d never done before. Although a simple gesture, it spoke volumes to Lauren, so she took the hand he’d offered, trying to ignore the spark of desire just touching him ignited inside her. When he didn’t let go, she left her hand in his, unable to pull it away.
The front doors of the lodge opened and a man about Seth’s age stepped out. He waved to Seth, who let out a sigh of relief when he saw the man and pulled her up onto the porch. The man’s eyes widened when he saw her, but he quickly covered his surprise.
“Seth, it’s good to see you and early too. Grandfather will like that,” the man said, shaking Seth’s hand.
“Hi, Thomas. It’s good to see you too. I’d like to introduce you to Lauren Anderson, she’s the new district supervisor for the EPA,” Seth said, pulling Lauren forward. “Is your grandfather here?”
“It’s nice to meet you, Lauren,” Thomas said, shaking her hand. Then he turned back to Seth. “Grandfather went home a little while ago, I don’t expect him back until morning.”
“Good, that will give us time to talk,” Seth said, following Thomas into the lodge.
“I’m sure a lot has happened in the last few months,” Thomas said, nodding to Lauren.
“Yeah, I guess you didn’t hear that Neil Parker vanished about two months ago,” Seth said, shrugging his shoulders, not sure if it was going to help his cause that the man had disappeared or not.
“Grandfather will find that interesting,” Thomas said, leading them back to the big fireplace at one end of the room. “Come and sit down, I’ll get us something to drink.”
Lauren sat down in a big chair and sighed, suddenly realizing just how tired she was. When Thomas handed her a cup of something hot, she took it gratefully and murmured a quiet thank you. Seth asked about Thomas’s family and they chatted about things that didn’t concern her for a while, but soon the conversation turned serious.
“Have Sam and Julie gotten here yet?” Seth asked, to open the discussion.
“They got here a few hours ago. Seem like nice people, and their daughter is adorable,” Thomas said, clearly a man with a soft spot for children.
“They brought her with them?” Seth asked, shocked that they’d taken the baby on the trail with them.
“Yes, and why not? I know you don’t like children, but some of us kind of do,” Thomas said, laughing.
Seth waved his hand at his friend. “Don’t you start on me, I like my quiet life.”
“Hmm, it’s not so quiet now,” Thomas said, then became serious. “Are you ready to meet with Grandfather and the council? They’re going to be hard on you, I’ve heard their discussions. You better be prepared to defend yourself to them.”
“I’m ready. I think I’ve got everything in place,” Seth said, looking to Lauren.
Lauren knew that now was the time she could either help or hurt Seth, what she had to say would make a difference to the council who Seth had explained wanted as little interference from the government as possible. They’d had a long talk one night around the fire about how the Yup’ik felt about the government. He explained that from the time gold was discovered in Alaska, the government, whether state or federal had taken advantage of the native peoples. It was a long history of distrust that had yet to be broken, and Lauren had secretly hoped that maybe she could be the one to change that.
“He’s got a plan that just might work, and from what I can see he’s offered your people a good deal,” Lauren said, then smiled when Seth nodded a thank you to her.
“That’s good. Are your cousins ready?” Thomas asked.
“I haven’t seen them since they got here, but if I know them they’ll be ready. They know how important this is.” Seth hoped that his words were true.
“Okay then, in the morning I’ll let my grandfather know you’re here. He’ll want to meet with Sam and Julie first I think. In the meantime, I bet you two would love to get cleaned up and have something to eat,” Thomas said, wrinkling his nose at them.
Lauren blushed, embarrassed, she’d forgotten just how dirty they must be. “I’m sorry, I’ve gotten so used to being dirty, I’d forgotten that we’re filthy. A shower would be wonderful,” she said, thinking that being clean had suddenly become a luxury.
Thomas laughed. “There’s nothing like being on the trail for a few weeks to make you appreciate hot water.”