Chapter Thirteen
“Hey, Darcy.” Kayleen sat beside Darcy at the round cloth-covered table. “So what have you got lined up now that you’re done on Shelter Cove?”
“I’ve already been signed for a two-parter on The Murphy Case Files, which means an all expenses paid week in Toronto. A few other things,” he added, not wanting to sound like he was bragging.
“Oooo,” she said, “Bad guy or victim?”
Darcy rolled his eyes. “You know I can’t talk about that. But no drag.”
She laughed. “So listen, I was wondering, would you like to go out sometime?”
Darcy’s eyes widened. That came from out of the blue. What did he say to that? Would Michael mind if he claimed—? No, he wouldn’t; he’d already told several people he was Darcy’s boyfriend.
“I, um, I’m kinda seeing someone.”
“Oh! I didn’t know.” Her brows drew together as she tilted her head. “Why didn’t you invite her tonight? All the other cast and crew with significant others did.”
“Him, actually. And…I guess I didn’t think of it.” Darcy was frowning, because she was right—having Michael present would have made it a lot more fun.
Kayleen drew back in her seat as confusion clouded her face. “But you said you weren’t gay.”
He wasn’t. He opened his mouth to explain asexuality and shut it. If he had a boyfriend, how did that work?
“Holy shit,” he swore as it struck him that Michael actually was his boyfriend. He blinked at Kayleen. “Bi,” he said, giving the simplest explanation, even if it wasn’t the right explanation. He did feel sexual, sometimes, about Michael.
“Darcy? You look like you just had an epiphany.”
“Yeah,” he said slowly. “I guess I didn’t realize how… shit, I’m a bad boyfriend. Would you excuse me?” He was already on his feet, heading for the coat check.
Surrounded by coats, he pulled out his phone and started some serious googling, around the question of asexuals and sex. He frowned as he read, swiping his finger down the screen. When he found “demisexual,” he felt a sense of relief. He’d known who he was all along, except this was the first time he’d ever… His eyes widened again.
“I gotta go,” he said to no one in particular and found his coat and scarf. He called a cab to the convention center and stood at the doors. Being right downtown, it didn’t take long until he was outside Michael’s building.
Someone held the front door open for him and he ducked inside. He should have called or texted first. He pulled out his phone and sent off a quick text: You home?
He jogged up the stairs to the second floor. His hand was raised to knock when he got the reply. Yeah, Dave just got here, haven’t decided what to do. You ok?
Darcy tucked his phone in his pocket and knocked.
Michael’s face was a picture of confusion as he opened the door. “Darcy?”
“Can I kiss you?”
“Huh? I mean sure, anytime, but—”
Darcy cut off his words and the beginning of a smirk by flinging his arms around Michael’s neck and kissing him.
Someone cleared his throat and Darcy broke the kiss, his face heating up.
“Whoa,” Michael said, his hands resting on Darcy’s hips. A questioning smile crossed his face. “What brought that on?”
“I’m, I’ve been a terrible boyfriend,” Darcy blurted.
“Wh-what?” Michael looked shocked. Darcy tried to take a step backwards, bumped into the doorframe.
Had he read it all wrong after all? “I am, we are—aren’t we?”
A masculine chuckle interrupted them before Michael could say anything, and Darcy broke free of Michael’s hold. “Sorry,” he said to Dave, his face burning. “If you two have plans or something—”
“Nothing we might have planned could be this good. Carry on,” he gestured, a broad grin on his face.
“You could let us have this conversation privately,” Michael said, still looking at Darcy.
“I could,” Dave agreed. “But nah.”
“I was supposed to—I should have invited you to this party,” Darcy said, feeling like he was babbling. Particularly since Michael hadn’t confirmed their relationship from his point of view. “Everybody does. Invite their significant others. Friends too.” He turned to Dave. “You could come.”
“Wait, wait,” Dave said, while Michael stared, seemingly speechless. “Are you inviting me to a party with the cast of Shelter Cove? Because I am all about that. Michael, go put on something nice. Your cute boyfriend just invited us out.”
Michael caught up one of Darcy’s hands. “Are you sure?”
Darcy didn’t know if he meant about the invitation to the party or the rest, but the answer to both was the same.
He smiled, his face still hot, and said, “Yeah. I’m sure.”
Michael looked around the room curiously. Most of the people in it he didn’t recognize. That wasn’t surprising—a television show was like an iceberg, most of the people who made it happen were just names scrolling at the end, unseen.
Dave was staring at Carlos Bowe, hard enough to burn a hole in the man.
Darcy was at the bar getting a round of drinks.
There was a buffet table that looked like it might collapse under the weight of the food piled on it. Michael would help with that.
“Hi! Are you guys on the crew?” A pretty woman who looked vaguely familiar sat at the table with them.
“We’re guests,” Michael said just as Dave said, “We’re with Darcy Mancini,” as if bragging.
“Oh! I’m Kayleen Gardiner.”
“Katy the librarian,” Dave said, snapping his fingers at her.
She beamed before giving them a curious look. “You’re both with Darcy?”
“Oh my god, I wish,” Dave said before Michael could say anything. “I’m still single and looking for the right guy.”
“Dave—”
But Dave was already leaning forward to ask in a gossipy voice, “I don’t suppose Carlos Bowe is bi? When LeBaron laid that kiss on Dana, I just about died.”
“Not that I know of,” she said, laughing.
“Hi,” Michael said, waving across the table. “I’m Michael and this is my best friend, Dave. He’s normally…okay, yeah, he’s like this all the time.” He rose to his feet as Darcy approached, three glasses balanced in his hands.
“Hey, you guys introduced yourselves?”
There were nods all around as the glasses were placed on the table. Michael stood close by Darcy as he said, “So you guys want to drink, eat, or have me introduce you to the rest of the cast?”
Dave was on his feet in an instant, and Michael was half afraid he’d ask Carlos Bowe to autograph his abs or something more embarrassing. Thankfully, Dave managed to restrain his fannish enthusiasm to just stumbling over a few words and asking for a selfie.
Michael felt as pleased as Darcy looked, being introduced as “my boyfriend, Michael.”
Even Darcy’s answer for the question, “But I thought you weren’t gay?” made him smile— “I’m not.”
Michael added helpfully, “It’s more complicated than that.” Michael would have felt the same if people asked him. He might not be straight, but he wasn’t gay either.
Nobody pressed for details, almost everyone who asked accepted it with a nod. They probably knew better than he that sexuality was a spectrum, something he’d heard but never really understood until Darcy turned his world upside down.
Darcy got the main cast to group together for a pic with him, and then with the three of them, and Dave found a hot guy from the lighting crew to chat up.
Michael drew Darcy over to the buffet table, which on closer inspection had been ravaged, yet still seemed overflowing. “I don’t even know what most of this is,” he remarked.
“I think these are cream puffs,” Darcy said, picking up a small pastry and holding it to Michael’s mouth.
Michael grinned and bit down on it. Whipped cream oozed out over his lips and Darcy’s fingers. He wrapped his tongue around the fluffy pastry and licked his lips. It wasn’t an overly sweet whipped cream, he liked that. He caught up Darcy’s hand before he could wipe it, and licked the frothy substance off, meeting Darcy’s eyes as he did so. He wasn’t sure what kind of reaction he’d get, if any. Probably an eye roll.
But Darcy’s face reddened and he jerked his hand away. “You shouldn’t do that. Here. Or something.”
“Why not?”
“It makes me wonder, what if, what it would be like, I mean…” Darcy looked away, his voice trailing off into incomprehensible mumbles.
Michael stepped closer, lowering his head to speak softly in Darcy’s ear. “You want me to suck your cock?”
“No! Yes. Maybe. Sometimes.” Darcy tilted his head back slightly to meet his eyes, looking more confused than anything. “Would you do that?”
Michael found the idea more appealing than he’d thought he might. Dreaming about it probably helped. “I’ve never done it sober, but I’d try it.” His gaze automatically tracked down to Darcy’s groin before he realized what he was doing. He blushed a little. “So, we have a lot to talk about, I guess.”
“Yeah,” Darcy agreed, and closed what little space was between them. His arms went around Michael’s neck, and Darcy kissed him.
It was the second time tonight Darcy kissed him, Darcy took the initiative. Michael trembled, all the emotions he’d been trying to contain, downplay, even stifle, threatening to overflow. He returned the kiss, melting a little as Darcy’s mouth opened beneath him, tasting each other, breathing each other’s breath.
Michael encircled Darcy’s waist with his arms, pulling him even closer. He gasped, breaking the kiss as his erection pressed into Darcy’s hip. “S-sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Darcy whispered.
“Jesus, you two,” Dave’s voice said loudly. “Michael, you always embarrass me when we go out together.”
Ignoring him, Michael smiled at Darcy. “Your place?”
Darcy nodded emphatically. Tearing his gaze from Michael’s, he said to Dave, “You can stay if you want, of course, but we, obviously, have to go.”
“I only tracked you down to tell you that me and a couple of the gaffers are heading out to Numbers. I was gonna ask if you two wanted to join us, but looks like you, uh, have other plans,” Dave finished with a smirk. “So don’t worry about me, kids. Have fun.”
Michael, feeling a little self-conscious, took Darcy’s hand and led him to the coat check. “Wait here, or we might do something we regret. Or I regret.”
“I’ll call a cab.”
Michael nodded. He took his time finding their coats and scarves, trying to get himself under control. It didn’t seem possible Darcy felt the same degree of physical desire he did. It wasn’t his lust he was struggling with so much as the irrational urge to fall at Darcy’s feet and declare his undying love. Ridiculous.
It wasn’t, though, not really. It was just such a weird relationship, like everything had happened in the wrong order. They’d been dating for five months, if he counted the first month when they’d both been in denial.
And he supposed he had to. He’d picked Dave’s brain and scoured the internet for gay sex, just in case Darcy ever…and it looked like he did and now Michael felt like he was scrambling. At least it was unlikely Darcy would be demanding anything he hadn’t already imagined countless times. He hoped.
What reassured him as he pulled their coats into his arms was that in spite of feeling off-center, nervous, out of control, and even scared, he knew with absolute certainty he wanted Darcy in his life, not as a friend, and maybe not as a lover, if that’s how it went, but as the man he loved.
“Now I just need to tell Darcy that,” he muttered aloud.
“Tell me what?”
“All the things,” Michael said, feeling better just hearing Darcy’s voice.
“I have things to tell you too. I’m… I can’t believe I didn’t realize we’ve been dating this whole time. You knew?”
“Yeah. Not the whole time.” He helped Darcy into his coat and handed him his scarf. “I told myself I just needed to spend time with you to convince me that you were not really my one true love.” It sounded so stupid to say it out loud and he was glad his face was hidden as he reached up to put his own scarf around his neck.
“And how did that work out?” Darcy sounded as nervous as Michael felt.
“Still not convinced,” he said, forcing a smile.
Darcy’s relief lit up his face and Michael’s smile became real, unforced.
“I should have realized sooner,” Darcy said in the cab as he pushed under Michael’s arm to rest his head on his shoulder. “I mean, ‘just friends’ doesn’t feel…like it feels when we do this.”
“You mean cuddle?” Michael squeezed Darcy’s shoulder.
“Yeah, I mean cuddle. And kiss. Hold hands.”
Michael took Darcy’s hand in his. “I don’t know which made me happier. The day you came up with that bullshit need to practice kissing or the day you accepted my bullshit reason why you shouldn’t stop kissing me.”
“It wasn’t bullshit! I needed to learn.”
“Bullshit. You wanted to kiss me.”
Darcy sighed. “Okay, yeah, I guess I did. I like kissing you.”
“It’s not unpleasant?”
Darcy gave another, exaggerated sigh. “That’s going to follow me to my grave, isn’t it?”
“Not if I die before you. If you die first, hell yes. I’m putting it on your tombstone,” Michael said and sat in shock as his words seemed to fill the cab. He could have sworn he was not ready to say “I love you” let alone think about a lifetime together, but clearly he was.
Darcy only reacted with a grunt, as if the declaration was nothing less than he expected. He made a point of paying the cab, and Michael didn’t mind. They walked up to Darcy’s apartment, only releasing hands for Darcy to make his key work. For once, Darcy’s bed was made. That didn’t make it look any less inviting.
Especially when Darcy sat down on it and patted the space beside him. “I’ve never been someone’s boyfriend before.”
“I’ve never had a boyfriend before,” Michael said, grinning. “I’ll be honest, Darcy. You being uninterested in sex was a bit of relief to me, because even though I—” Oh hell he might as well say it. “—I love you, the idea of sex makes me a little nervous.”
“But you want it?”
“Oh yeah, all the time. I mean, I’m almost constantly hard around you.”
“Oh.”
“It’s not— I don’t expect you to do anything about it, right? I love sex, I really do, but if I have to choose between it and you, I pick you. My life…oh god, Darcy. My life without you would be so…bleak, so empty.” He gathered an unresisting Darcy onto his lap. “Holding you, like this, means so much to me.”
“I like it too. A lot,” Darcy said, wriggling closer and wrapping his arms around Michael.
It just made Michael harder, but he was used to that. He was still a little nervous it would freak Darcy out, but there was no way he couldn’t feel it, the way he was—wait, was Darcy hard too?
“Sex…this is a little weird for me, because I never understood sexual attraction.”
“You said.”
“But then…sometimes, when we were kissing, I found myself wanting…I don’t know. To touch you, kiss you somewhere other than your mouth. And I freaked out a little.” Darcy wasn’t looking at him, couldn’t from where his head rested on Michael’s neck.
“Huh. So that’s why you’d suddenly rush me out or jump up and have to leave my place?”
“Um…yeah. At first, I thought it was a fluke. It didn’t happen every time or even most of the time. At first. But the more we—the more time we spent together, the more frequently it began to happen.”
“Huh,” Michael said, hesitant to feel elated over this. “So sex could happen?”
“Yeah. Like…now, even.”
“Huh. We’re not kissing.”
“It’s weird for me too.”
And then Michael laughed. He held Darcy tight and fell back on the bed so Darcy was on top of him. “You know. Kissing is how we got here.”
Darcy made a face. “That first kiss was awful. Then you said you weren’t going to ask me out and asked me out anyway.”
“You said yes. And let me kiss you again.” Michael tucked his chin in a bit to kiss Darcy’s nose.
“You asked so nicely.”
“Now I’m asking you to please kiss me. Often. For a long, long time.”
Darcy’s face was so serious, for a few seconds Michael felt his uncertainty threaten to return. Then he smiled and any remaining doubt vanished. “Well, since you said please.”