Thirteen
“My laird! My laird!” a frantic voice called, stopping Alex’s swing in midair. He jerked his sword to his side, gave Fardley a terse command to hold, and swung around to find Baldwin standing there.
“Aye?” he asked, taking in the boy’s ratty clothes and dirty face. Lena’s accusations of not having control of Hamish immediately came to mind. Baldwin did not look well cared for. Alex was frustrated with himself that he’d failed to take note of it sooner. And now that he was really thinking upon matters relating to Hamish, the last time Alex had seen Greer, she’d had a haunted look about her. Alex had assumed it had something to do with a man, but now he wondered if Hamish was releasing his anger at Alex on his sister and son.
The boy ran straight up to Alex, snatched him by the hand, and tugged. “My sister said to find ye and tell ye to go directly to Weeping Widows Cave on the east side of the loch. Yer wife’s life is in danger! My da is in a fierce rage!”
Shock gave way to anger, which mingled with gut-wrenching fear. “Stay here!” he clipped at the boy. Gripping his sword, he motioned to Fardley, who was the only one near, to follow him. He turned in the direction of the cave and set out at a sprint over rocky land and through brush. He didn’t slow as he raced up the hill. He had to get to the other side of the woods to come out at the water where the cave was. His lungs and legs burned as he pushed harder until he crested the hill.
He barreled down the slope faster than he’d gone up it, catching himself twice when he nearly lost his footing in his haste to reach Lena. As he neared the bottom of the thick terrain, he came out onto the shore. That’s when he heard her screaming. His heart jerked as he ran toward the noise. He turned the corner and blinked, looking around in confusion but not seeing her. When she screamed again, his chest tightened as he realized she was above him. He looked up, and shock rushed through him.
She stood at the very edge of the cliff, nothing but jagged rock and water below her. In front of her was Greer, but as Alex watched, Hamish, who stood facing both women, swung out, his fist connecting with his sister’s head. She crumpled to the ground at Lena’s feet, unmoving.
“Hamish!” Alex roared as he raced toward the rocks to climb up the slope he’d just come down. Hamish raised his sword, and Alex knew he’d never make it to Lena in time to save her. Rage exploded inside him, along with the certainty that he loved her and could not imagine living without her.
“Hamish!” he bellowed again, his voice animalistic to his own ears. Silence greeted him, and when he paused, panting, to glance up toward the ledge, what he saw took away his breath—and his hope.
Lena’s hair whipped in her face as she glanced behind her. The drop made her stomach roil and her body sway. She had but a breath to take action. At her feet, Greer lay unmoving, the dagger she’d tried to stab her brother with by her side. Hamish stared down at his sister, mumbling something about betrayal. Blood dripped steadily down his arm, hitting the ground and making a pool of red. Greer had come with two daggers to save Lena. The first she’d thrown at Hamish in the cave. She’d hit his sword arm, and he’d dropped his sword, which had allowed Lena and Greer to escape, but not quickly enough.
A roar—or more like an inhuman bellow—came to Lena on the wind. She gasped, certain it was Alex, and when the sound came again, closer this time, she glanced backward. He climbed the rocks, determination etched on his face and the muscles of his arms bulging with his efforts. He raced to save her. But he was too far away.
“I’m glad he’ll watch ye die,” Hamish said from behind her, and she knew her time was here. She had to save herself or die trying. She’d not be a victim ever again. She looked to the water far below, beyond the jagged rocks, attempting to judge the distance. Mayhap it was too far, but mayhap it was not.
Hamish’s sword hissed as he arced it above his head. Gooseflesh swept over her body and fear made her tingle, but she took a deep breath and shoved off from the ledge as hard as she could.
The fall was fast and dizzying. Her body hit the water with such jarring force that she cried out, her words swallowed up by the loch that pulled her into its depths. For a moment, she froze, feeling her body sink into the darkness. Which way was up? Blackness surrounded her. Desperate to live, to see Alex and tell him she loved him, she began to kick and push her arms through the water, not sure whether she was headed toward air or down to her death. Her head pounded, and her lungs protested the lack of air.
Her body was suddenly sluggish, and it was hard to move. The certainty that she was close to death sent a burst of anger through her, giving her the strength to kick harder than she had before. When she swept her arm above her head and felt air on her fingertips, relief flowed through her, but just as her head popped above the water, something splashed down so near her that she felt it brush past her. For one moment, confusion blanketed her mind, and then a hand clasped around her ankle and jerked her under the water. Arms encircled her waist, and she knew without a doubt that Hamish had jumped in after her and intended for both of them to die this day.
Alex threw his sword to the ground and dove into the water, splashing and arrowing under the surface. Stark fear clawed at him as images of the moments that had just passed flashed in his mind: Lena jumping from the cliff. Her body disappearing into the loch. Her hand appearing above the water a breath before her head broke the surface. Powerful waves of emotion slammed into him: Terror. Joy. Then disbelief as Hamish dove into the loch and Lena disappeared once more, as if she’d never emerged.
Alex swam fast toward the last place he’d seen his wife. His arms cut through the water and his lungs cried for air, but he ignored the need, kicking his legs and imagining Hamish’s face in front of him. Alex would choke the life from the man if there was any left.
Alex propelled himself forward with a hefty thrust and ran into something—bodies, he thought—arms and legs struggling. Blindly, he reached out and grasped the arm in front of him, the slenderness of it telling him he had a hold on his wife. She jerked and fought like a wild cat, clawing at him and kicking out, but she stilled when he tugged her violently to him and cupped her face. Did she know it was him? A hand clamped on his arm and another around his neck, separating him from Lena. He prayed to God she’d swim away and save herself.
He twisted around in Hamish’s hold, driven by rage beyond anything he’d ever known. Alex’s hands found Hamish’s neck, and he squeezed it, even as the man did the same to him. Something brushed his leg, and then Hamish’s grip suddenly lessened, giving Alex the advantage. He squeezed so hard his fingers and lungs burned, and only after Hamish stopped fighting him and finally became unmoving, did Alex consider releasing him. Yet, he waited several more breaths, wanting to be as certain as he could that Hamish would not live to come after him or Lena. But finally, his own lungs screamed with the need for air, and to save himself, he had to release Hamish. For a moment, Alex floated under the water, uncertain which way was up, but then a hand found his bicep. It ran down the length of his arm to take his hand, and he and Lena swamp up, her guiding his way. They broke the surface of the water together, the only sound that of them greedily gulping air.
Then Fardley called to them from the shore. “Laird! What shall I do?”
Once they emerged from the water, Alex waved the man off. “Stand watch at the water’s edge. I believe I killed Hamish, but I need to ken for certain.” With those instructions given, he drew Lena far enough away from Fardley that the man would not hear them speaking. Alex turned her in his arms and cupped her face once more. Her eyes locked with his, and gratitude for her life being spared stole his speech.
“I love ye, Alex,” she said, her voice hushed and almost shy.
“I love ye, too, lass. So much so that to imagine my life without ye even for a moment strips me of my ability to breathe.” He captured her mouth, devouring its sweetness, her breath, her very essence. When he broke the kiss, he could not contain what he felt. “Ye’ve entered my mind and my heart, taking my soul for yer own. I am yers.” He kissed her fiercely. “I only pray I dunnae disappoint ye.”
She buried her head in his neck as she wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed him. “Ye likely will,” she said gently, “and I am certain to disappoint ye. But that is life, and if the love we have is true, it will grow and thrive. It can be the kind of love to sustain us through our failures and our triumphs.”
He pressed a kiss to her head and hugged her tight, knowing her words were true for him and praying they would be for her, as well. His secret past lay heavy in his mind, but tonight was not the time to think on it. Tonight, he felt stripped bare and raw, and only Lena’s touch could calm the storm that almost losing her had brewed.
After it was certain that Hamish was dead, and Alex and Lena had seen to Greer and Baldwin, they walked, fingers interlaced, to Alex’s bedchamber. He instructed the chambermaids to bring up a bucket of steaming water, and then he and Lena removed each other’s clothes, slowly and silently. When they stood flesh to flesh, Alex encircled Lena in his arms. She pressed her cheek just above his heart, feeling it thunder beneath his skin. The emotions she’d been holding back rose, and she found herself sobbing in her husband’s arms.
“Shh, Mo chailin chalma,” he whispered, running a gentle hand over her head repeatedly until her sobs gave way to soft sniffling and then to silence. Alex traced his fingers up and down her spine. He pressed his lips to the top of her head and hugged her. “I have ye now, and I vow to keep ye safe, even if it is from yerself, ye wee reckless, stubborn, beautiful lass.”
She pulled back, wanting him to understand what she was feeling. “I was nae crying because of fear. Though, I’ll nae deny I was scairt. My emotions overcame me just now because I realized ye have given me the greatest gift a person could give another.”
When he gave her a baffled look, she rose on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. It was clear he didn’t even truly know what he’d done for her. He had helped her heal and find her inner strength once more. She was no longer the scared woman Findlay had made her.
She slid her hands over his powerful shoulders and down his thick arms. “Ye have given me back my courage. Ye have shown me I can still be strong, and braw, and free to love—”
“Free to love only me, aye,” he cut in with a teasing growl. He grinned.
“Aye,” she answered, glad to see him light and happy but fretful that her next words would darken his spirit. “Ye have given me true love.” She ran a finger over his strong jaw. “But for our love to flourish, ye must trust me and share yer heart with me.”
Immediately, he scowled. “I do trust ye,” he said, his words slow and even. “But it is my task to defend ye. Ye are my wife, and I would lay down my life for ye.”
Her heart swelled at the devotion he was displaying, though she knew she had to make him understand what she needed from him. “And I would lay down my life for ye,” she said. “Ye cannot expect less of me. To do so makes me feel helpless, as if I am broken and weak.”
His eyes widened. “I dunnae see ye as helpless,” he said, “and I ken ye have grown strong. But I have failed to keep people dear to me safe before, and I will nae allow that to happen again.”
Though he had not said he would relent even a bit on being overprotective, his mention of his past gave her hope. “Who did ye fail to keep safe?” she asked, deciding to focus on that rather than dwell on the fact that her husband was likely not going to bend this night.
He leaned down and brushed her hair off her neck, then placed a feathery kiss there that made her shiver. “I dunnae wish to rattle the bones of my past, Lena. It haunts me enough as it is.” His lips traced a teasing path over her collarbone and down lower to capture one of her buds in his mouth.
Desire instantly shot through her, and her belly clenched as her breasts grew heavy with need. He was distracting her so that she would not continue to question him. She knew it well, but with his tongue lavishing wicked attention to her breast and the rapidly growing heat spreading through her body, her thoughts turned from all she wanted to know and longed for him to share to her need for him. They could have died tonight, and in this moment, she wished nothing more than to touch him, taste him, feel him inside her, and prove they were truly alive. Perchance even create a life, God willing. The hope was there, however small.
His ministrations moved from her right breast to her left and then down to the juncture of her thighs. All logical thought fled as he hoisted her up onto the bed in one fluid movement, then crawled between her legs to bring her pleasure that left her panting. When she’d found her release and her body felt spent, he came to hover above her, his thighs braced on either side of her. He slid his hands beneath her buttocks as she reached behind him and gripped his, too. He lifted her as he entered her, filling her as only he could.
Their joining started slow and sweet but grew frenzied, driven by the need to claim life over death. Lena found herself ravenous for her husband, offering bruising kisses and raking her nails over his chest and back. When he flipped her over and drew her up onto her knees with one hand braced under her belly and the other fisted in her hair, she did not feel one breath of fear. Wild, uninhibited passion pounded through her with every thudding beat of her heart. They found a rhythm that stole her breath and made every muscle in her body clench, and when she felt Alex’s fingers curl into her belly and his body thrust harder into hers, she cried out her pleasure as they found bliss together. They collapsed as one, a tangled mass of arms and legs, joined in body and spirit.
Alex rolled onto his side, brushed her hair out of her eyes, and looked at her with a solemn expression. She tensed, knowing he was about to send her away. “Lena—”
She pressed a finger to his lips. “I ken ye wish me to depart—”
“I dunnae wish it,” he interrupted, his voice grave. “’Tis for yer safety.”
She nodded. If he would just open up to her, tell her his secrets, whatever weighed so heavily upon him and caused these nightmares might prove more bearable—maybe even dissipate entirely. She didn’t want to argue about it right now, though, after all they had been through and shared this night. “Please, let me stay just until ye fall asleep.”
“Nay.” He looked so forlorn that she felt hopeful he would relent.
“I vow to depart the verra moment ye are asleep. I simply want to lie here with ye for a bit.”
“And if ye fall asleep first?” he asked.
“Then gather me into yer arms and take me to my bedchamber.”
“’Tis dangerous.”
“’Tis dangerous nae to allow it!” she cried out. When a shocked look settled on his face, she rushed to explain. “I feel like ye are keeping a wall between us, Alex, and I kinnae abide it. If ye will nae share yer secrets with me and ye will nae allow us to sleep the night in the same bed, I must have this. I need it!” Perhaps she was being unfair and unwise to press him on the matter, but a desperate worry had settled in her chest, along with the certainty that if they did not address what lay in the shadows between them, it would destroy their new love.
He sighed. “Close yer eyes, then, Wife. I’ll take ye to yer chamber when ye fall asleep.”
She nodded, hanging on to the triumph, however small it was.