Sixteen
Lena was going to be the death of him. Alex gripped the reins of his horse, struggling to maintain control over his emotions. His fragile wife had become a bold warrior in her heart, and though her transformation made him happy, in this moment it concerned him more than anything. She was treading in dangerous waters. But he could not linger on the problem Lena presented now. He had to focus on the Steward and his vow to the king.
He turned to look at the man riding beside him, only to find Thomas staring at him. It had been nearly sixteen summers since they had seen each other. “Why are ye here?” Alex asked.
“I serve the Steward,” Thomas said easily.
It occurred to Alex in that moment that if Thomas served the Steward, then his father, Laird Fraser, had to be one of the unknown traitors.
“How did ye come to serve the Steward?” Alex asked.
“After the incident with Gillis, I asked the Steward to allow me to stay. Ye had already left with yer da.”
Alex had a thousand questions, but he kept his silence, allowing Thomas to talk.
Thomas stopped his horse and held Alex’s gaze. This man was not the same boy Alex had once called a friend. He could see it in the remoteness of Thomas’s eyes. It was as if a light had been extinguished. “It seems the Steward had grown tired of the problems Gillis caused him, but he’d nae found a good way to rid himself of his brother without incurring the wrath of his brother’s men. He was well pleased that I’d done him the favor, yet he was nae sure he could permit the young lad who had killed his brother to keep his head and still ensure the men were fearful of him. It did nae take him long to decide he wished to use me, to make me into a weapon. He made sure all kenned what his brother had done to me so they would give me their pity and ken why the Steward had allowed me to live.”
Alex winced at the shame it had to have caused Thomas. “Thomas—”
“I dunnae need yer sympathy,” he growled, his voice low but intensely harsh. “I lived through Gillis and through the shame. I sculpted myself into a warrior whom others fear. I have been betrayed and abandoned by friends and by family, but everything I endured made me strong. Fear me, MacLean, as ye should, for I have nae forgotten.”
Alex had lived so long with the guilt of not having prevented Gillis from getting his evil hands on Thomas that he took what Thomas said to him as his due punishment. The words the man had spoken to Lena earlier and his antagonistic demeanor had told Alex that Thomas was holding a grudge, and the man was right to do so.
“Thomas,” Alex said, even as he moved his hand to the hilt of his sword, “I should nae have left, but my da—”
“I want vengeance,” Thomas interrupted.
Alex swallowed the apology, sensing it would only anger Thomas in this moment. Alex nodded. “I can see that. I can even ken—”
“I kinnae take yer life presently,” Thomas interrupted again. “The Steward has hope that ye are truly joining his forces, but if ye prove yerself false, then ye have been given fair warning that I will be coming for ye.”
Alex inclined his head in acknowledgment. “I ken, but the Steward is correct that I am here to join his cause.”
“Then by all means,” Thomas said, sweeping his hand forward, “let us nae keep him waiting.”
“Who is this?” a dark-haired woman demanded as she moved to block Lena’s path across the great hall to the stairs that led to the bedchambers. Marsaili stiffened beside Lena, but Lena placed her hand on her half sister’s arm. Behind them, Broch and Donald grunted in unison, but Lena turned and gave them both quick looks that she prayed conveyed her wish to address the problem herself.
The servant who had been sent to see them to their bedchambers bobbed a curtsy. “My lady, Euphemia, this be Lady Lena MacLean.”
The woman’s dark brows drew together, and her jade eyes narrowed. “MacLean? Ye are a member of the MacLean clan, and ye are here?”
Lena narrowed her own eyes. “Aye. I have accompanied my husband.”
“And who might that be?” the woman demanded, raising a heavily bejeweled hand to toss her long, flowing hair over her shoulder while raking her gaze down Lena’s gown, then back to her face with a contemptuous look. Lena was suddenly acutely aware of the state of her appearance. Not only had she purposely chosen an older gown to wear for travel but she had not donned any jewelry. And her hair! She started to raise her hand to set her hair to order, but she noted the woman watching her every move, so instead, she pressed her palm against her leg.
“I asked ye a question, girl,” the woman snarled.
Lena drew back her shoulders. “I’m aware, but I dunnae feel particularly inclined to simper to the demands of a rude stranger. Who might ye be beyond Lady Euphemia?”
“I’m the lady of this castle,” the woman said, her tone frosty. “I am Euphemia de Ross, wife of Robert Stewart, Seventh High Steward of Scotland.”
Behind her, Donald cleared his throat. “Lady Euphemia was wife to the Steward’s brother, Gillis, before she married the Steward.”
Gillis!
Lena tensed at the name. Alex had apprenticed with the Steward’s brother, Gillis, and the man had left such horrible scars on Alex’s back.
Lady Euphemia arched her eyebrows, scowling at Donald while she spoke. “I’m certain ye ken I married Robert after Gillis died.”
“We ken it,” Broch commented. “All of Scotland kens it, and we all kenned that the Pope did nae like ye marrying one brother after the other.”
“Well, we are married, so that shows ye the Pope’s power compared to the Steward’s.” She flashed a barbed smile, then turned her daggered gaze back to Lena. “Now that ye have my marital history, I propose ye start by telling me yer full name and then simpering when I demand why ye are in my home. Unless, of course, ye wish me to remove ye from the castle.”
If the lady didn’t curb her nasty tongue, Lena thought she might slap her. She clenched and unclenched her jaw while taking and holding a deep breath. When a measure of calm returned to her, she said, “I dunnae simper for any man or woman, whether ye are the wife of the Steward or nae. I give my fealty and respect only to those who have earned it, and ye, Lady Euphemia, have a long road to travel before ye could earn either, if ever. Now step aside. My husband is laird of the MacLean clan, and surely, yer husband would nae be pleased to hear ye were so verra inhospitable to me.”
“That kinnae be!” the woman gasped, looking as if she was barely in control of her raw emotions.
Lena frowned. “What kinnae be?”
“Ye—” Euphemia pointed an accusatory finger at Lena “—kinnae be wed to Alex!”
Alex?
Unease rippled through Lena. Why would this nasty woman use Alex’s name so familiarly? It was as if she thought she had a right to, as if they had an intimate connection.
“I assure ye I am,” Lena ground out.
“She is,” Marsaili said.
“Aye,” came a chorus of agreement from Broch and Donald.
“Where is he?” the woman murmured, her gaze leaving Lena to sweep the room. The eager, hopeful light that now shone in the woman’s eyes made Lena’s gut flip. “Where is he?” Euphemia demanded now, desperation dancing on the edge of her tone. She locked her gaze on Lena. “I must see him! I kinnae believe he would marry ye! He did nae—He always said he—Tell me where he is!”
Lena fought the jealousy that had sprung up inside her along with the disquiet. There was no doubt in her mind Alex had once had some sort of relationship with this woman, and based on her frenzied need to see him, Euphemia clearly had not been the one to sever their ties. “I’d love to wash the grime of travel from me before supper.”
When the woman didn’t budge, Broch stepped to Lena’s side. “I can help ye move if ye need aid, Lady Euphemia.”
Her lips pressed together, and then she stepped aside, not speaking as Lena, Marsaili, Broch, and Donald continued on after the servant. No one spoke as they moved up the stairs and to the bedchambers, but Lena’s mind raced through all that had happened since they had arrived. First, she had met the Thomas of Alex’s nightmares. Alex had said previously that he had grievously failed Thomas, and it seemed quite obvious to her that Thomas held the same belief. He seemed to hate Alex. She shivered thinking of the man.
Her mind turned to Euphemia. Who had she been to Alex? And how had she been anyone to him if she had been married to Gillis before marrying the Steward?
The second after the servant had shown them all their bedchambers and departed Lena’s, Lena turned to Donald, who’d insisted on standing guard at her door with Broch. “Tell me what ye ken of Gillis Steward and Alex’s time as his apprentice, and tell me what ye ken of Alex’s relationship with Gillis’s wife.”
Donald gave her a distinctly uneasy look. He scrubbed a hand over his face before answering. “Alex was sent to Gillis as a lad to apprentice, as many future lairds were.”
Lena grunted. “I already ken that.” She also knew that Gillis had thrashed Alex something fierce, but she was missing something more, she was certain. Yet, she had to be careful not to reveal what she did know in case Alex had not shared it with Donald. “What sort of mentor was Gillis to his apprentices?”
“I could nae say,” Donald said, his words stiff.
The man was lying! She crossed her arms over her chest. She wanted to accuse him of it, but she knew by the stubborn tilt of his chin that it would do no good. His fealty was completely to Alex.
“How did Gillis die?” she asked.
“I dunnae rightly ken the particulars,” the man hedged.
“Then give me a general sense of it,” she snapped. “Did a tree fall on him? Was he stabbed, beheaded, strangled?”
“I believe he was stabbed,” Donald murmured.
Now she was making progress! “Do ye ken by whom?”
Donald shifted from foot to foot. “I kinnae say that I do.”
“Ye kinnae say, or ye will nae say?” She scowled at the man until he looked at his feet.
“I will nae,” he finally admitted as he looked up. “These are questions for yer husband.”
She inhaled sharply. “He will nae give me any answers.”
“Certainly ye ken the position ye put me in by asking me to tell ye things my laird dunnae wish ye to ken.”
Her shoulders slumped as she nodded. “What of Lady Euphemia?” she asked, unable to keep the words in, though she had no hope that Donald would provide answers.
“My lady—” he started, then stopped, giving her a helpless look.
“Oh, just leave me,” she grumbled, irritated that he would not aid her but also glad of his unwavering fealty to Alex. “I am trying to help Alex,” she said to Donald’s back as the man exited the bedchamber.
He turned slowly toward her. “I ken it, my lady, and I pray that ye succeed. Broch?” Donald looked to the man. “Are ye coming?”
Broch nodded. “Momentarily. I have word of the MacLeod clan to share with Lena.”
Donald nodded and departed the room, shutting the door behind him. Lena and Marsaili both turned to Broch. “What is it?” Lena asked.
“Is all well?” Marsaili demanded.
“I’m certain it is,” he replied. “In truth, I dunnae have anything to impart about our clan, but I do ken a bit about what ye were asking Donald. And as my fealty is to ye and nae to yer husband, I dunnae have the same qualms about sharing what I ken.”
Lena detected lingering animosity toward Alex in Broch’s tone, but she understood it was born out of concern for her and Marsaili. Once Alex had agreed to allow her to journey with him to the Steward’s home, he also had been forced to reveal the king’s assignment to Broch. It was too dangerous not to share the truth with him. If Broch had continued to think Alex a traitor, he could have attempted to take Lena and Marsaili and return them to Dunvegan with the misguided belief that he was protecting them. It would have been one matter for Broch to simply flee to Dunvegan and tell Iain that Alex was a traitor, but it was an entirely different matter that Broch might go to different lengths to save Lena.
She sighed at the complications she had created for Alex, who had so much weighing on him already. But she would not have changed her decision to come even if she could have. Besides, Broch was a formidable force of strength for Alex in this den of liars. The story, if anyone was to recognize him as a MacLeod, was that he had pledged loyalty to Alex when Alex had offered him land and a great manor, which was much more than had been given to him by Iain or King David.
“Tell me,” Lena urged.
He nodded. “Gillis was killed by one of his apprentices, if the old rumors be true. A young lad, if I recall correctly.”
“Do ye ken why?” Lena asked.
Broch’s cheeks flushed red, which shocked her. The man was not easily embarrassed. “I heard whispers, but they are nae fit for a lady’s ears.”
She nodded. “I appreciate yer concern for my sensibilities, Broch, but I feel certain if I can withstand what Findlay put me through, I can endure whatever ye may tell me.”
His eyes widened a fraction. She felt rather surprised herself at how she had referred to her ordeal. The chains that had bound her in shame were no longer there at all. What had happened to her did not bring shame upon her, but upon Findlay. She was now completely and totally free.
Broch cleared his throat. “There were whispers that Gillis used the boy who killed him.”
Lena frowned. “What do ye mean used?”
Broch opened and shut his mouth, but no words came out. Marsaili put a hand on Lena’s arm. “I believe,” Marsaili said, “that Broch means Gillis treated the boy as he might a lass.”
Broch nodded, his face bloodred from brow to neck. “One he beat in order to get him to accept the attentions Gillis wanted to give him.”
Lena grasped her roiling stomach. God’s teeth! Was Thomas that boy? Had Alex kenned something of Gillis’s dark nature himself and felt responsible for not protecting Thomas? And had Alex kenned Gillis’s evilness because Gillis had used Alex, too?
Her heart raced as sweat trickled down her back. If Alex was holding secrets like this inside him, no wonder he had such violent nightmares. She could not share any of these thoughts with Broch or Marsaili, of course, who were both staring at her now. “Thank ye,” Lena said simply. When Broch nodded and then started to turn toward the door, it occurred to her to ask him about Euphemia. “Broch, I dunnae suppose ye have heard any rumors regarding Lady Euphemia?”
“Only one. I’ve heard she has a dark side, which makes her a good match for the Steward and made her one for Gillis, as well. I’ll leave ye to ready yerself for supper now.”
Lena nodded. Once Broch had quit the room, she and Marsaili faced each other. “Do ye think,” Lena said slowly, “that Alex and that woman—”
“Aye,” Marsaili answered before Lena had even finished her question.
Lena drew in a long, shuddering breath. So it had seemed obvious to more than just her that there had been an intimate relationship between Alex and the woman. Lena glanced down at her gown, then back up to find Marsaili doing much the same with her own appearance. “We look affright,” Lena said matter-of-factly.
“Aye,” Marsaili agreed, even as a hesitant look came to her eyes.
Lena’s brows knitted together in concern. “What is it?”
Marsaili nibbled on her lip for a long moment. “We’ve nae had a chance to discuss how ye feel about Alex’s joining the Steward’s cause.”
Lena tensed. She’d not told Marsaili the truth because Marsaili would undoubtedly be called to appear before the Steward to confirm that Alex had fallen out with King David, and it would be better if she truly believed he had. Besides that, Lena and Alex were to appear as if they did not care for each other, and this deception would aid in that ruse. “I despise him for it, but what can I do?” She shrugged. “I am good and married to him.”
“Will ye warn Iain of Alex’s intent? Have ye warned him of what I have done?”
Lena thought immediately of the letter she’d written. It occurred to her that she’d not even asked Alex if he had sent it after he had intercepted it. Now, given what she had learned of his mission from the king, she hoped he had not sent the letter. Marsaili could do no further harm to the MacLeod clan under Alex’s watchful eye. “As far as I ken, Iain dunnae have knowledge of yer betrayal or Alex’s. When next ye see Iain, ye will have to tell him,” she said gently, for she did understand what had driven Marsaili. “Ye will have to face whatever punishment he gives ye.”
Marsaili bit her lip. “Do ye believe he’ll banish me? What if I find my son but then dunnae have anywhere to live? I kinnae return to the Campbell hold.” She shuddered.
Lena took Marsaili’s hand and squeezed it. “Ye are my sister. Ye may live with me, but,” she said in a warning tone, “if yer da dunnae tell ye the location of yer son as he vowed to, ye must nae make any further bargains with him. Ye must vow to come to me first with any aid ye need.”
“I vow it,” Marsaili said fiercely. “But as sorry as I am to say this, Da is undoubtedly pleased at this moment, as Alex is likely swearing his fealty to the Steward in front of Da.”
A rap came at the door followed by, “Marsaili, ye have been summoned to the great hall by the Steward,” Donald said.
“She needs a moment, if ye please,” Lena answered for her sister, who had gone pale. Lena’s own palms became instantly damp. “Make haste and let us aid each other into finer gowns and brush the tangles from our hair.”
Within moments, Lena had donned a gown she’d brought from Dunvegan that Marion had made for her when she was on a campaign to cheer Lena up. Lena ran a hand down the fine, brilliant-blue silk skirts. If she had to have supper in the same great hall as a woman her husband had known intimately, she wanted to look her best. She glanced at Marsaili, who was wearing a lovely gown in a pale shade of green. Her sister twisted her hands together nervously.
Lena reached out and clasped Marsaili’s hand once more. “Ye will be fine. Dunnae let the men frighten ye. Simply follow Alex’s lead.”
Marsaili frowned at her. “Ye seem rather calm and forgiving when yer husband is betraying his bond with our brothers.”
“I must believe that all will be as God wills it, or else I will go mad,” she said evasively but honestly.
Marsaili nodded. “I wish I had yer faith, yer strength, and yer ability to accept. Though, I’m sorry to say I detest yer husband now, and if I did nae need to find my son…” Marsaili shrugged. “It’s verra hypocritical of me, I ken, given I’m a traitor myself.”
“Mayhap,” Lena said with care so as not to give anything away, “Alex has his reasons, as ye do, for doing what he does.”
“Love has made ye blind,” Marsaili growled.
“Nay,” Lena said, knowing there was nothing else she could say.
“Marsaili, we must away,” came Donald’s voice from the other side of the door.
“I’ll see ye in the great hall at supper, I suppose, if nae sooner,” Marsaili said. She was gone a moment later.
Lena was left with her own thoughts, which turned immediately to what she had just learned from Broch and how best to broach the matter with Alex. She concluded rather quickly that there would be no good way to approach him about Thomas and Euphemia. She feared he would still shut her out, and if he did, the repercussions could be disastrous.