Rome

Carlene lets me into her apartment, and I strategically drop my luggage in the foyer rather than make things awkward. Worst case, I’ll be relegated to the guest room. Not going to happen if I have anything to say about it. But I know I have to play my cards right.

I have to re-establish the easy rapport we had while she was in the States with me. I know what I’d felt between us, and I know she felt it too. I just need her to feel free enough to embrace it once more—this time for real with no emotional barriers.

She’s fussing in the kitchen, and I choose to move out to the balcony. Her apartment is a sub-penthouse and quite frankly, stunning. The décor timeless, stylish, and understated—Carlene to a tee. If the apartment is gorgeous then the view from the balcony is out-of-this-world.

I fully understand now why she didn’t go stark raving mad over some of the places we stayed in the States. I thought it was because she was reserved. Maybe not. What she has at home is pretty damned amazing. Unobstructed views of the Pacific Ocean as far as the eye can see. Yeah, it would take a bit to top this. And almost immediately, I’m in love with the scenery almost as much as I’m in love with Carlene.

Yep—love.

I finally admitted it to myself, on the plane. It’s amazing what a few hours with my thoughts and a little honesty can do for some clarity. Particularly, once I moved to a point where I’m ready to accept what my heart is screaming at me to recognize and embrace. Now I just have to find the right moment to tell her, without putting pressure on her.

My actions have justifiably thrown her for a bit of a loop. Carlene is direct, up front, considered, and honest. Reckless and impulsive are not words I’d use to describe her. If she didn’t want me here, she’d have told me up front. She’s trying to figure out her balance here.

Right then, I realize something else very important, as well. I’ve known in my heart from when she left, it was up to me to make the first move. I just hadn’t acted on it until the need to see her and be with her again became too great. I’d needed to know if this was my future. Now I’m certain.

I can sense she’s open and interested, she just doesn’t quite know how to behave to bridge the gap between us. In fact, I can only imagine at the internal war she has going on in her head right now. I’ve barged in and upset the routine of her life. I want to be part of her routine—scratch that—I want us to create a new routine.

Carlene finally joins me on the balcony. She hands me a juice and looks a little unsure of herself. I’ve come barreling into her life again with very little warning and certainly no prior explanation of my intentions.

“I thought we could start with a juice. I wasn’t sure if you’d want a coffee yet. You’re probably zonked. Do you want to catch some sleep?” Her eyes scream concern and caution but I also see a latent heat I know can turn into a raging fire given the right encouragement

The look in her eyes is enough. The concern genuine and deep. She cares for me, and she wants me. I don’t need to know anything more, right now. What I did need to do is end this feeling of “walking on eggshells.” Fortunately, I’m confident I know just the way to do it.

I take a sip from the glass. “Thanks. This is great for now. I had enough coffee on the plane and no, I’m good for sleep, at the moment. Can’t promise I won’t crash out a little later, though.” I let my mouth pull up in an easy smile.

She nods. “I was pleasantly surprised, when I came back. I didn’t seem to suffer from jetlag at all. Someone said it’s going this way around the Earth. I’m not sure, I haven’t travelled enough to really know.”

We’ll be back to small talk in no time, if I don’t take control of things. Carlene is strong and independent, but I know, without a doubt, she prefers to have a man in her life taking charge where it counts and to support her when she needs it. She loves and craves companionship. I’ve watched her morph from being closed off, naïve, and reserved to being open, relaxed, funny, and down-right sexy. I want the confident, sassy woman back—my woman.

Time to put to good use all the experience I’ve accumulated with women. Finally, I have a woman I want to call—the one!

I take another sip from the glass then place it on the nearby table. Then I take the glass from her hands as well before moving back to her and pulling her into my arms. Immediately, I feel my body start to relax and warm to a whole better sort of tension than the type I’ve been feeling.

“There is one thing I want,” I whisper close to her ear.

She lets out a little moan, and I’m even more encouraged. I run my hand down the side of her face before cupping her jaw and drawing my thumb over her lips. Her eyes have ignited into a storm of need with just the slightest touch of her body against mine.

“I want a kiss, Oz. A real one. One that will curl your toes and make my cock so hard, I’m in danger of busting my zipper.”

Her hands start to stroke up and down my back, and her hips shift forward suggestively to meet mine. She needs this as much as I do.

“Yes,” she breathes and tilts her head back slightly, waiting for me to close the distance.

I don’t need a further invitation. I need to reconnect with my woman in the basest of ways. I need to remind her the only place for her is with me.

My lips meet hers, and instantaneously, I’m awash with the rightness of the connection. Hers lips feel soft and velvety against mine, as if waiting to welcome me back to her. The kiss is everything I remembered, hoped for, and so much more.

I want to devour, to conquer, to brand her mine. This is me wanting to give into my baser needs, but I have to maintain a little semblance of control. It’s still too soon to let my desires run wild. There’ll be time very soon. First, I need to know she still wants me, trusts me, accepts me.

The tips of her fingers flex into my shoulder blades, and she wriggles closer against me, wanting more. I slip my hand from her jaw to cradle the base of her head, holding her lips firm to mine. I tease my tongue along her bottom lip, and she sighs into me, opening herself fully as my tongue plunders forward.

My cock is a solid bar against her stomach, ready, willing and waiting to slide into her. I need her closer to me, under me. With a reluctance I’ve never felt before, I break the kiss and look around wildly for a comfortable place to take this further. The sun is beating in and the balcony, although stories and stories in the air, is still not private enough or comfortable enough. I don’t want anyone seeing Carlene come apart in my arms.

The way I want to take her and make her mine is something for us alone. Then surprising me, she removes the decision from my hands.

“Looking for the bedroom?” She gently tugs my hand, coupled with a look confirming she wants me in the best kind of way.

“Lead on, baby.” And I mean every single syllable of those words.

The apartment is cooler against my already overheated skin. I can’t wait to get these clothes off, and I’d love a shower at some stage, but I need Carlene more.

Shower sex, now there’s a thought to hang onto for a little while.

Carlene leads me down the hall and then turns left through another short hall which opens into a spectacular bedroom; one wall is all windows. She presses a button beside the door and sheer blinds slide into place over the windows. The room transforms from brilliant sunlight, to subtle filtered light—cool and sexy.

“Love your blinds, Oz.”

She grins at me and turns into my arms, beside the bed. “I almost didn’t buy this place because of those blinds. I thought they were just a tad too extravagant for me.”

I laugh and drop a playful kiss on her nose. “Only you would think that, baby. I’m glad you got over your aversion. This place is incredible, and I think we should make use of your bed pronto.”

She stiffens in my arms before pulling back and sitting down on the edge. I follow her down and sit beside her but turn my body in to face her, prompting her to do the same.

“What’s on your mind, sweetheart?”

Carlene

What’s on my mind is what we’re about to do…it’s different now.

“Talk to me, Carlene, tell me what you’re thinking.”

I try to gather my scattered thoughts. We’ll only get this first once, and if we’re going to try to be together then we need to do things right. Somehow, I need to explain my concerns to him and make sure he understands.

“I want you to be you when we’re intimate.” I see confusion on his face and realize I’ve probably explained it very badly right from the start.

“I’m not following you.”

“Well…when we were together intimately in the States, it was all about you showing me, teaching me, helping me experience new things. It was never about you. It was always about me. I don’t want that to be the case going forward.”

I watch the surprise register on his face and then a little satisfied smirk replaces it.

“I’m a naturally giving lover, Carlene. That’s what made me so good at what I did. I’ve always gotten a lot of enjoyment and satisfaction from pleasuring the woman I’m with and making it as enjoyable as possible for her.”

There is no avoiding talking about what he previously did, and I’m surprisingly okay with that. If I wasn’t, then I would have to accept the fact I’m not okay with me having hired Rome. And that’s certainly not the case. The complete opposite, in fact. There’s certainly nothing sleazy about the way he behaved or made me feel. Exactly the opposite. I felt special and cherished every moment I was with him in the US.

“I just want you to…” I trail off and drop my eyes from his, suddenly feeling a little unsure.

“Take a little more? Ask for what I want, perhaps? Don’t worry about it. I can assure you, I’ll let you know what I want. Just like I want you to do the same for me. Can you do that, Carlene?”

I don’t need to think for more than a moment. “Yes, I can do that.” And I had. Rome had gotten me to this point in the States. I can pick up from there. It’s Rome. I feel totally comfortable, sexy, and safe with him.

He pulls out his phone, and I feel a frown form on my forehead. What on earth is he doing? Fiddling with his phone is the last thing I expect right now.

Then he passes it across to me when he locates what he’s looking for.

“While we’re having serious conversations, I wanted to show you this and talk about this.” I glance at his phone and realize he’s showing me medical test results. When I look up, his eyes lock on mine, and he gathers my hands in his.

“I had these tests taken yesterday or the day before, given the time change—it’s confusing. I’m clean of everything. I always have been. I’ve never had an STD. I’ve only ever practiced safe sex, and I was tested monthly when I was working. I hadn’t been with another woman for the six months prior to meeting you, nor have I been with another woman since you left.”

I’m trying to take it all in and figure where he’s going with this. I believe him. I’ve never known Rome to lie. He may have had a contentious job but he’s never shied away from the truth since he knew he could trust me with his secret.

His thumbs strokes over the back of my hands, and I can tell he’s searching my face, reading every little expression to see exactly how I’m taking his very frank news.

“If we’re going to do this, be together then I want nothing between us, because there will be no one but you from here out for me. As of now, I’m a one-woman guy, and you have no idea how happy it makes me feel to say that. I want this to be a real relationship in every way. But you need to be comfortable with it, and I can understand if you need time to think about it or if in fact you never get comfortable with it—I’m okay with that. I know it’s potentially part of the price of the job.”

So sincere, honest, and aware.

I suck it all in, trying to figure out exactly how I feel. I’d been the only woman Rome had been with in over six months. He mentioned this before, but now it is sinking in and what that means. I need to know more. I need to know everything to be sure.

“You say I’m the one. How do you know, when you’ve had so many women?”

His lip twitch, and a little twinkle jumps in his eyes. “That’s easy. But you might not like what I’m going to tell you.” My stomach contracts, and my shoulders stiffen in preparation before I cock an eyebrow at him.

“I took an assignment a few days ago. We were shorthanded. One of the guys called in sick. Roxie and I had just finished a very frank discussion about my feelings for you.” He lowers his chin and looks a little sheepish before he continues. “I’d gone to great lengths to deny I had feelings for you. Roxie kept accusing me of being in love with you. Then she goaded me into taking a client to fill the roster of guys we needed.”

“But you said…”

“I know I did. I picked this woman up, and she started pushing me for sex from the start. I took her to dinner, and I managed to hold off her advances until I could get another guy to finish the assignment. You asked me how I knew. It was so easy. I felt guilty, and the thought of touching another woman made my skin crawl. Her hands on me felt all wrong. I knew there was no way I could go through with it. That’s never happened to me before. I couldn’t get out of there quick enough.”

I ignored the stab of jealousy at another woman having had her hands on him. His honesty meant much more, and his words made my heart lighten. “You really felt that?”

He nods vigorously. “I really did. And I can tell you, it was very liberating to know I was okay with giving myself permission to retire, because there’s no way I can have the woman I love and the job. The job is my past, the woman I love is my future.”

Love.

He’s casually mentioned the word in conversations a couple of times. Never before has he come out and said, “I love you.”

“Are you telling me…”

“Yes, Carlene. I am. I love you.”

I’m a little stunned and a lot taken back. His hand breaks from mine and cups my jaw.

“I’ve known for a while. It was only the last few days I allowed myself to accept it. You’re like no other woman I’ve met, and I’ve met more than my fair share. You’re smart, resourceful, independent, honest, and completely drama free. Plus, you make me need you like no other woman has. I want to spend time with you and not just in the bedroom. I love your company, your smile, your personality. You’re it for me. Take pity on me and put me out of my misery, will you, Oz?” His eyes are pleading with me.

“I want you to be mine, like I’ve never wanted anything else.”

Ever so slowly, his words register in my mind.

He loves me and wants a future.

This isn’t make believe.

“This is real,” I whisper more to convince myself than for any other reason.

“As real as it gets, Carlene.”

“You really love me?”

He starts nodding at me. “I really do.”

A laugh bursts from my throat, and I feel the heat of tears a second before they cloud my vision and begin to fall and make their way down my face.

Tears.

I don’t cry, ever in front of someone else.

My heart feels funny.

Then I feel swamped with a weightless joy and light. It’s something so foreign to me. Like the sun breaking through the clouds after the rain.

Rome pulls me into his arms. “Are you okay?” He strokes his hand down over the back of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair.

“I’m…(sniff)…just...(sniff)…so overwhelmed.”

His arms hold me tighter to him, and he somehow rearranges us on the bed so we’re lying down, me with my head on his chest.

“Baby. I hope that’s good overwhelmed.”

“The best sort…” I manage between sniffs.

Is this really happening to me? I never thought…

I had my chance, and it was over when Phillip died. At least, that was what I’d thought. I’d never let myself hope or wish again.

Rome gently wipes the tears from my cheeks with the bottom of his T-Shirt.

“You had me worried there for a minute, Oz. I didn’t think you felt the same. We’ve shared some intense conversations, and I’ve never even seen you cry or even look like shedding a tear.” His voice is tender and soothing

“I don’t normally cry,” I blubber into his chest a little more, ignoring the need to feel foolish. “I just feel so happy and sort of weird all at once, but in a good way. I’m sorry!” I bury my face deeper into his chest.

“Hey, Carlene. Look at me.” His hand strokes my cheek, urging me to lift my head and look into his eyes. They’re soft and full of comfort, concern, and what I recognize now as love.

“It’s okay to cry, baby. You don’t have to be strong with me all the time.”

“Phillip hated me crying. He said he never understood it.”

“Well, I’m fine with you crying, whenever you need to. You don’t need to ever hide what you’re feeling from me. I want to know. If you’re happy, I want to see it all. Same as if you’re sad or angry. I want it to be real between us. No masking or watering down of anything we share. The pleasure and the pain. It’s all part of life, and I want to be on your team. I want to be here for you from here on out.”

He’s offering me the sort of relationship I’ve never had, a true partnership—one where my thoughts, feeling, opinions, wants and needs are truly valued equally.

“Rome…” I can’t put into words what I’m feeling—the best gift. I brush the hair back from his forehead and try to put into words what’s in my heart.

“Shh, baby. You don’t need to say anything. I can see it in your eyes.” Then he touches his lips to mine, and all the feelings running through me amplify. They merge and couple with an undeniable sense of rightness as his lips move against mine, until I can’t contain it any longer. I need to tell him. He deserves to know.

Our lips part, as I pull back and look into his eyes once more.

“I can feel it in your touch.”

I nod slowly, and let the words come forward which will close the door on my old life and herald in the new.

“I love you, too, Daniel.”

For just a second longer, he looks at me before he drags me back down to meet his lips. His tongue slips along the line of my lips then inside, in search of mine.

His hand trails down my spine to cup the curve of my backside and pull me in against the hard length of his need.

“I need to make love to you, Carlene,” he growls against my ear as his lips leave mine for a moment.

“Yes!” I breath.

We are meant to be together in every way.