Rome

The closer the plane takes me to the east coast of Australia, the more I’m reminded of the fateful trek to LA and a whole new life a decade ago.

Will this trip be life changing, too?

I feel like a caged lion on the plane. As much as I will myself to relax and try and enjoy the flight, the anticipation of seeing Carlene is way too strong. Once I made the decision, I haven’t wasted a second.

The moment I hung up the call from Carlene, I went straight to the airline and managed to get a business class seat on a flight leaving LA last night. I did what I needed to in the office, all the while Roxie didn’t even try to hide the smug smirk of approval at my rash plan.

My intention was to sleep overnight on the flight and arrive in Brisbane some-what refreshed. The reality is anything but. I’m just too keyed up to sleep. And now the rising sun is evident around the edges of the window shades and the cabin crew are rolling out breakfast. Sleep is a definite bust for me. All I can think about is Carlene. And what could be.

Then the doubt creeps in.

Am I crazy doing this? Was I any less crazy ten years ago fleeing New York? I was desperate then, and I am desperate now. Only this time, it’s a desperation of the heart, and somehow that feels even graver than when I had barely a cent to my name and nothing but a massive pile of debts. If this doesn’t work, I fear I’ll be left with a hole in my soul I’ll never fill. Something no amount of hard work can ever make better.

What I’m doing is a huge risk.

I just hope the reward will be even bigger—Carlene.

If what is between us has a chance of working, she deserves all of me, for herself—all the time.

If my nerves were bad before in the air, two hours later when I walk out of Australia’s incredibly strict customs, my brain feels like it’s scrambled, and my heart is in my throat.

I look at the exit doors in front of me and then down at my phone. Carlene texted me a few minutes ago to say she’s waiting for me.

Yesterday, for a moment, I entertained the idea of just showing up and surprising her. Only for a moment. I’m not sure Carlene would have appreciated me turning up unexpectedly. I’ve learned over our time together, she’s agreeable and flexible as long as she has a basic plan. A surprise arrival at her door might just have been too far out of her comfort zone considering how awkward it was at the end. Besides, this way, I get to see her a couple of hours earlier.

A stray thought jumps into my mind as I approach the doors, and I wonder if this was how Carlene felt all those weeks ago as she’d walked a similar path in a different city and into the arms of a stranger.

Somehow, it seemed easier then.

I didn’t know her, and she didn’t know me.

We’ve kind of come full circle.

She was a client I was expecting, and I was an escort wondering if I was going to have a pleasant couple of weeks or two weeks of living hell.

They’d turned out to be a couple of the best weeks of my life, and now, I want a more than a couple of weeks.

I want a lifetime.

The doors automatically open as I approach, and my eyes start scanning.

A few long seconds later, my eyes finally connect with hers. She’s standing at the back and off to the right. Her hand lifts in a wave, and her face looks as anxious as I feel.

Is she as unsure as me?

I move through the crowd of people hugging and greeting each other, not really seeing anyone. She doesn’t move from her position until I breach the crowd, then she breaks into a little jog as she approaches me.

I drop the handle to the suitcase I’m pulling and hold out my arms, beckoning her to me. She doesn’t hesitate to launch herself at me, and my heart settles into a more regular rhythm.

Her head buries into my chest, and I inhale the scent of her. Just as I remembered. Clean, classy, and understated.

She feels so good in my arms, and I can’t help the hard squeeze I give her. I would absorb her into my body, to keep her close to me always, if I could find a way.

A few seconds pass, and I take the time to relax, to breathe, to feel, to remember just how good it’s to have this woman in my arms again.

Now I need more.

“I thought I made it clear last time, you were to greet me with a kiss? Should I have sent you a text to remind you?”

She raises an eyebrow and tilts her head back waiting for me to make good on my request. Without hesitation, I take the invitation.

My lips meet hers, and the sparks which always accompany us coming together, burst to light. We’re so good together. So much chemistry, but it’s a deeper chemistry. A chemistry formulated on respect, desire, understanding, and compassion. Way more than the hot heady strokes of lust. Although, we have those in spades as well.

I want to take the kiss deeper, to brand my presence on her once again, but I sense her pulling back and allow her this, keeping my need in check. Carlene is still conservative in her displays of public affection. I have no such qualms or insecurities.

There will be time for my need to be filled when we get back to her place and we’re alone. Then I’ll do far more than kiss her. I can’t wait to bury my cock deep into her. I want, no need, to take us back to the good place we had before the fiasco in Vegas.

From there, we’ll go forward—build.

She moves from my arms. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Sounds like a great idea.”

We start out toward the carpark. “Can I take one of those for you?” she offers.

“No, babe, I’ve got it covered.”

She nods briefly and hurries over to a ticket machine to pay for the parking before joining me once again. The carpark is mostly empty at this early hour, and Carlene has managed to find a park right up the front. The lights flash on a current model Range Rover as we approach.

“Nice ride.” I whistle. If I’m not mistaken, it’s optioned up to the hilt and I’m a car guy, so I’m confident I know what I’m looking at.

“Thanks, I’d always driven Land Cruisers before leaving the property. Toyotas are the vehicle of choice out there. When I came to the coast, I wanted something with a little more comfort, but I wasn’t quite ready to give up my four- wheel drive. Not that I’m ever likely to need it but…”

“Old habits die hard. And besides, you never know, four- wheel drive can sure come in handy at times.”

“Right. I like your thinking! You just never know when you’ll need to jump a gutter or straddle a ditch and don’t even get me started about those little concrete block things in the carparks.” she agrees, flashing me the smile guaranteed to make my heart lighter.

I heft my bags into the luggage area and press the button to close the tailgate before heading to the right side.

She looks at me a little strange as she gets in behind the wheel. Then I realize my mistake and move around to the left-hand side of the vehicle.

“I’m going to do that more than once, I know.” I forsee.

Carlene laughs as she confidently maneuvers the big vehicle from the carpark and down the narrow exit ramp. “For sure. I lost track of the amount of times I did it in the States.”

“Thanks, for picking me up. I know I didn’t really give you many options. I saw your text, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to talk to you. And then I kind of decided I needed to see you, and well, you know the rest.”

“It was a good surprise hearing from you,” she admits quietly. “Which hotel are you staying at?”

That sets me back. Where am I staying?

“Um, with you, I assumed.” Fuck, maybe I have this all wrong.

Maybe she meant what she’d said all along.

Could I have read it that wrong?

I watch her hands tighten on the wheel. “Well, I um...didn’t know what to think or assume.”

My heart has jumped back up from my chest to lodge firmly in my throat.

I need to take control of this situation right now. How can she not know I’m serious? Doesn’t dropping everything and flying halfway around the world spell this out?

“Carlene, I’m going to lay it out right now. I came here with one intention and one intention only…” She glances across at me from her position behind the wheel with a worried look on her face. “I came here to see if what we have is real. To see if we, as a couple, a real relationship, could work without the stigma of how we met hanging over our heads. I felt a connection with you I’ve never felt with anyone else. I want to explore that and see where it takes us, and I got the feeling you wanted the same but couldn’t because of the situation.”

“Rome…” she sucks my name in on a breath.

“It’s Daniel Roman Langdon, to be totally accurate. I want us to be totally honest with each other. I’m going to start by giving you my real name and not the persona I used when I was working.”

When I was working.

I’m already talking and thinking in the past tense. If she doesn’t go for what I want then I might as well return to the game and carry on. The thought flashes into my mind for an instant before I dismiss it.

Regardless of what happens between us, I can’t go back. Rome the escort is retired. That chapter of my life is closed.

“Daniel,” she whispers as if trying my name on for size. “Will you be upset if I accidently call you Rome?”

I laugh at the concern in her voice. “No, baby. I’ve been Rome for ten years now. I’m not sure I’ll remember to answer to Daniel or Dan anymore. Just please don’t call me Danny. My mom used to at times, and the thought just grates.”

“Okay, I’ll try to remember,” she says with an amused smirk.

I take a deep breath, needing to get this conversation back on track. I need to find out if she is feeling the same I am. Whether she’s prepared to give us a go.

“Are you going to give us a go, Oz?” There’s a hint of desperation and pleading in my tone, and I’m not going to make any apology for it. Desperate is exactly how I am as I wait to know my fate.

Carlene

A relationship!

Rome, this amazing, sexy, intelligent man is asking for a relationship with me, the country hick from outback Australia…the very thought both excites me and terrifies me at the same time. He’s travelled half way around the world to ask me in person to give us a go.

They were the words I wanted but also resisted in the States. He is right. Here we have the chance of a fresh start without the prospect of his job being thrown in our faces as a stark reminder of how we met.

I want to. My heart is screaming “yes,” but there are so many things we need to resolve. I’m old enough and wise enough to know there are practicalities to be worked out, regardless what our hearts might be telling us. Long distance relationships never work.

But isn’t that getting ahead of myself?

His job, for one. That, I can’t do, and I’m such a hypocrite for even thinking, let alone asking him to do something about it. Providing a service for women is the truth of how we met. Nothing will change the fact, and I’m not sure I have the right to ask it of him.

“There are so many things to think about…” I murmur as I drive down the motorway toward the coast.

“And that’s exactly why I’m here. I want to sort the details out ‘til there’s nothing left except possibility and the opportunity for us to have the kind of future I know we can together.”

Possibility and opportunity, what a heady and exciting combination. He sounds so sincere, and what he’s suggesting is more than I can ever have imagined. Those two weeks we spent together were magical, and he is offering me the possibility of extending the time—permanently.

But what is he like when he isn’t working? When he doesn’t have to please the client? Will he be the same Rome, or Daniel? I don’t know and there’s a little piece of me, screaming, “don’t ruin the memories.”

“I can see you thinking over there, Carlene. To be honest, it looks more like you’re stressing. Talk to me. What are you concerned about? What do you want to know? I promise, I’ll answer anything you want, no secrets between us.”

He couldn’t be more open and accommodating than that, could he? Open communication was never something I had with Phillip. It always seemed to be a one-way street. His way, and my needs or opinions a distant second.

“I’m wondering how much of what we had was real and how much was you doing the job you were paid to do…although apparently, payment seems to be another point of contention.”

“And I’ve already told you, I’m not taking your money. So, you can forget trying to return it. Point of contention resolved.”

The irony of it. I haven’t even agreed to trying a relationship, and we’re arguing about money. I’m not doing it twice in my life. “Fine. If that’s what you want. You win.”

“It’s what I want,” he says emphatically. “I need you to understand why I’m being so adamant about it. If I take your money, it was a job. I don’t think of our time together as a job, and I don’t want the issue of money to make it so. I’ve never returned a cent I’ve earned in the past. I want everything about us to be different.”

He looks so determined, and I can also see how important this is to him. I was just concerned he’d be out of pocket, and it isn’t fair to him.

“Carlene, I also want to let you know, I may have started down the road of being an escort with the ass out of my pants but that’s not the case anymore. I’m very comfortable financially and can more than support myself and the lady in my life in a very fine lifestyle. I’d probably go as far as saying luxurious. What I’m trying to say is, I don’t want your money, in case you’re worried or concerned. I’ve made plenty and invested wisely, I don’t need or want yours.”

I’d never talked to Rome about the extent of my wealth. It still made me uncomfortable at times.

Nor have I ever gotten the vibe from Rome he’s the least bit interested in what I could buy or provide for him. And I know my senses are attuned to pick up on predators.

Those couple of times I’d dated before Rome had tested all my alert systems, and they worked just fine. One dinner date had never progressed to a second or third, essentially for this very reason. I’m still ignoring calls from one guy who just won’t take the hint.

“I’m not worried about that, but thank you for mentioning it. One thing I don’t want to ever have to do again is argue over money. It almost killed me with Phillip. I’m not doing that again.”

“Okay, we’re in agreement on that point, then. And to answer your original question, about whether you know the real me. You’ll have to find out, I guess. I think I was about as real as I could be with you, given the circumstances. You made it easy for me. Carlene, without bringing up the obvious, you were a dream client, and I think that’s why we clicked. Nothing felt like work with you. I really did feel more and more like I was on a vacation with my special lady.”

He’s right. I would have to see if he’s different outside our previous time together, and there’s only one way to do that. Try.

It’s heartening to hear, he thinks of me as his special lady.

There’s one last major stumbling block, and it’s the deal breaker.

“This all sounds so good Ro…Daniel…” we both chuckle at my slight slip. “I told you.” I point at him before working up the courage to lay it out there.

“I’m going to be honest, because I don’t want to lead you on and also because I don’t know how to do this any other way.”

“And I love that about you, Oz. I know you’ll give me the truth, and I know you’ll be sincere about it.”

Love.

He said the L word. Is that a figure of speech or is he really in love with me? And I still need to get out what I have to say before I let my mind start churning through everything.

“I know it’s not my right to ask, but I’m not sure how I can broach this any other way. I’m just going to state my position here.” I scrunch my eyes together momentarily then jump in. “I can’t be with you if you’re working. I can’t and won’t share. I know it’s wrong of me to ask this of you, but these are my terms. I also know I sound like a huge hypocrite, and it pains me as well to be this way. There’s just no easy answer here.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence between us, and it takes me a second to gather the courage to glance across at him to read his thoughts.

What I don’t expect to see is a big open smile gracing his Hollywood-worthy face.

“Sure, there’s an easy answer. It’s a good thing I made my last client you, then.”

I struggle to keep my focus on the road as his words sink in.

“Surprised?” he eventually asks.

“Yes.” I admit—shocked, stunned, terrified, excited all at once.

Sure, I’ve fantasized about him giving up the life for me, I just never expected it, which is why I haven’t pushed or even really hoped before. I guess I hadn’t wanted to set myself up for the disappointment.

He places his hand on my thigh. The first real affectionate gesture we’ve shared since our greeting at the airport.

“Carlene, I don’t want you to dwell on what you just asked of me. It’s something I always knew and I made the decision from the outset, I wouldn’t pursue a relationship with anyone while I was working in the game. It’s not fair on my partner, nor is it fair on me. There are some who can do it. I’m not wired that way. I knew I couldn’t, so for me, it was all or nothing. Now I’m choosing the nothing. I don’t want the escort life anymore.”

The longer he talks, the lighter and more hopeful my heart becomes. If Rome is giving up the life, we have a real chance at a successful relationship.

“Now, Oz, I have a question for you.” My attention is pulled from my thoughts once again. “I don’t want you to answer right away. I selfishly want your eyes on mine when you give me your answer.”

Intrigued. Rome, has me downright intrigued by what he wants to ask me. It must be something important and dear to him if he’s insisting on me looking at him as he asks.

“I can see your brain whirring, and it should be. What I’m going to ask you will more than likely form a fundamental part of our relationship. If you can’t get past this one, then once again, there isn’t much point going on.”

Right. This has me really worried.

“I’m just going to ask it and remember, I don’t want an answer now. I want it when you’re certain. Can you see yourself with someone like me, an ex-escort, knowing what’s in my past?”

I don’t even think, before I begin to protest.

“But…”

“Shhh…think on it and tell me when you know either way. I won’t like it, but I’ll understand if you can’t do it. It was always a risk with this line of work. Until then, I’m going to enjoy every moment with you, for however long you’ll have me. If it can possibly be forever, then I’ll say it would suit me perfectly.”

Forever.

He’s placing his whole future in my hands—trusting me to make a decision I can live with.

Rome is going all in with his heart and future. Can I return the trust and do the same?