Chapter 10

 

Susan spent all Sunday afternoon cleaning house, even though she would much rather have done something fun with Scott. Wiping sweat off her forehead, she thought longingly of a nice, air-conditioned movie. She sighed. Guess having fun on the weekends was a thing of the past. Now that she was working, the only time she had for housework was weekends.

She should have cleaned yesterday, but she’d had errands to run and bills to pay and a dozen other things that had taken up the day. Then, of course, they’d gone to the spaghetti dinner last night. And this morning, they went to church, something she tried not to miss, especially now when she felt both she and Scott needed the solace of the service. Susan had never belonged to a church until she and Paul moved to Rainbow’s End. Then she joined the Episcopal church where he and his family had always worshipped, and now she felt comfortable there. 

Maybe she should hire some help. She wondered if Donna, the woman who worked for Zoe, might consider working for her, too. But could she afford Donna? Although Paul had carried a decent amount of life insurance and had received a death benefit from the sheriff’s department, even though he hadn’t been on the job when he’d had his fatal encounter with a drunk driver, most of those two sums were in an account earmarked for emergencies and Scott’s education. Susan didn’t want to have to dip into it unless it was absolutely necessary.

Her mind thus occupied, she finished up in the kitchen, which she’d saved for last, and took the bucket containing the water she’d used to mop the kitchen floor outside to dump it. She was rinsing the bucket under the outside faucet when she heard a car pull into the driveway. Putting the bucket down, she dried her hands against the sides of her denim shorts, then opened the gate and walked out.

Her mother-in-law was just getting out of her Buick. “Hi,” Laverne said. “I was in San Antonio for the day and thought I’d stop by for a few minutes before going home.”

“I’m glad you did.” Laverne looked good today, Susan thought, giving her a fond smile. The dark circles that had been under her eyes for months after Paul’s death were finally fading, and she’d gained back some of the weight she’d lost. Maybe she was actually starting to accept his loss. Susan hoped so. “Come on in. I was just about to have a glass of iced tea.”

“That sounds wonderful. I’m parched.” She eyed the bucket Susan had left on the patio. "What were you doing? Cleaning?"

Susan had hoped Laverne wouldn’t notice the bucket because she didn’t want another discussion of why she shouldn’t have gotten a job, so all she said was, "Had to mop up a spill. I wondered why we didn’t see you in church this morning. What were you doing in San Antonio? Shopping?”

“Yes," Laverne said. "Is Scott home?’’

“No, he went over to Ryan’s house, but he should be home soon. I told him four o’clock. So where were you shopping?” Susan held the back door open.

“Oh, Palmer’s and Dillard’s and a couple of other places. Everyone’s having end-of-summer sales, so I picked up some good buys.” She indicated the shopping bag in her hand. “I got Scott a couple pairs of those nice denim shorts.”

Susan followed her mother-in-law inside. “Oh, good. He’s about outgrown all the ones he had this year.”

Laverne smiled. “I noticed.”

“Well, I’m glad you had fun today.” Susan couldn’t remember the last time she’d gone shopping for herself. Not since before Paul’s death.

“It was fun. I got some clothes to take to California, too. Oh, and I met Norma Lee for lunch.” Norma Lee Ford was Laverne’s best friend from college. She was a widow who lived in Boerne, near San Antonio.

“That was nice. How is Norma Lee?”

“She’s doing great. She’s started a new exercise program and she’s lost about ten pounds. She looks terrific.” While Laverne chattered on about her buddy, Susan got out the pitcher of iced tea and poured them both a glass. “I have some sugar cookies, too. Want some?”

Laverne shook her head. “No, thanks. I had a big lunch.”

Susan sat down and they talked. A few minutes later the back door opened. She smiled. “Scott’s home.”

Laverne’s eyes lit up. She turned around to greet him.

Scott came barreling into the kitchen. “Hi, Gran.”

“Hello, sweetheart.” Laverne held her arms open, and after only a moment of hesitation, Scott submitted to her hug.

Susan made a mental note to speak to him about his recent reticence when it came to physical demonstrations of affection, especially in relation to his grandmother. She knew his behavior was normal. He’d reached an age where he considered hugging and kissing to be babyish, but Susan knew Laverne was still terribly vulnerable and could easily be hurt. Scott was, at heart, sensitive and caring, and he loved his grandmother. If Susan explained how important it was that he not act as if he were rejecting her, he would understand.

“So what have you been doing all week?” Laverne said happily. She reached up and brushed Scott’s hair back from his face. Her eyes shone with love.

He shrugged. “You know. Stuff.”

“That’s the trouble,” she said in a mock serious voice. “I’m an old lady, and I don’t know about stuff.”

He grinned. “You’re not old.”

“Of course I am. I must be, since I’m on Medicare."

"What’s Medicare?"

She chuckled. "Never mind, honey. It’s not important. That was just my feeble attempt at a joke. Now come on, humor me. Tell your grandmother about your week.”

While Scott talked, he walked over to the refrigerator and took out the orange juice. ‘‘And Wednesday we finished the tree house and went for pizza with Keith, and Thursday David came over, and yesterday I got my school supplies and last night we went to the spaghetti dinner at—” Abruptly, he stopped. “Gran! I forgot! You haven’t seen my cars!”

Susan, who had gotten up to get him a glass, froze. If she could have stopped him, she would have. Unfortunately, nothing short of an earthquake would stop him now, and she knew it.

“Cars?” Laverne said, a quizzical smile on her face.

“Yeah! They’re s-o-o-o-o cool. They’re upstairs in my room. C’mon. I’ll show you.” He put the carton of juice on the table.

Giving Susan an indulgent smile, Laverne got up and followed Scott out of the room.

Susan used the time they were gone to collect her thoughts. What would Laverne think when she found out who had given the cars to Scott? There was no doubt she would know by the time she came downstairs again, because Scott would eagerly broadcast the information the moment she admired them. He thought the sun rose and set in Keith, and he would have no qualms over expressing his feelings to his grandmother.

Dear Lord. Susan knew Laverne would be upset. If their going to have pizza with him had upset her, the gift of the antique cars would cause a major storm.

Sure enough, when the two of them returned to the kitchen ten minutes later, there was a tightening to Laverne’s mouth that hadn’t been there earlier.

“Gran thinks the cars are neat,” Scott pronounced.

“Yes,” Susan said weakly. She could hardly meet Laverne’s eyes, and darn it, she had nothing to feel guilty about. She had done nothing wrong.

“Is this mine?” Scott picked up the glass of orange juice Susan had poured.

Susan nodded. Laverne sat back down at the table and picked up her half-full glass of iced tea. After a moment, Susan sat, too. Scott, oblivious to the undercurrents, sank into his chair, saying, “I’m hungry. Can I have some chips?”

“No chips, but you can have some cheese and crackers,” Susan said, grateful for the diversion.

“Okay.” He walked to the pantry and took out a box of Ritz crackers, his favorite.

After a few more moments of silence, Laverne finally spoke. “Scott tells me Keith Callahan bought him those cars as an early birthday present.”

The frostiness of her voice told Susan exactly what her mother-in-law was thinking. “Yes, he did.” Susan was angry with herself for feeling so guilty. She cleared her throat to gain some time. “I thought it was much too expensive a gift, however...” She went on to explain Keith’s rationale about missing Scott’s previous birthdays.

“Yes, well, I agree with you about the expense.” Laverne eyed Scott, who was standing at the counter closest to the pantry and busily putting Cheez Whiz on his crackers. He didn’t appear to be paying attention to them. Lowering her voice, she said, “How much did those cars cost?”

Susan answered as evenly as she could.

Laverne’s eyes widened. “Susan...” she murmured. “That’s outrageous. Completely unsuitable. I’m the only one, other than you, of course, who should ever spend that much on a gift for Scott.”

“I know, Mom, I know. But Keith insisted.” She wished Laverne would drop the subject. It was not an appropriate one to talk about in front of Scott, although he was still engaged in fixing his snack and did not seem to be listening to their conversation. Still, you never knew with kids. He might just be pretending not to listen.

Laverne shook her head. Her gaze was thoughtful. ‘‘Tell me, just how did you happen to be at the auction with Keith, anyway?”

Although her mother-in-law’s question sounded casual, Susan knew the question was anything but. Calling on all the willpower she possessed, she managed to keep her answer light. “We weren’t with Keith. We just happened to bump into the Callahans, and Rose Callahan invited us to sit with the family.”

“I see,” Laverne said.

No, you don’t see, Susan wanted to say. You’re thinking something that’s not true. And yet, wasn’t there a grain of truth to Laverne’s suspicions? Wasn’t Susan thrilled to be asked to sit with the Callahans? Hadn’t she enjoyed every minute of it? And wasn’t the biggest reason for her enjoyment the fact that she could be with Keith in a way that wasn’t planned?

I haven’t done anything wrong, Susan reminded herself again, more angrily this time.

“How is Rose?” Laverne finally said in a less judgmental tone. “I haven’t seen her in ages.”

“I know. She mentioned that.” Susan took a breath. "She seems great."

By now Scott had finished making his snack and he returned to the table and began to eat. For the remainder of Laverne’s visit, the subject of the cars and Keith was dropped, but several times Susan could tell from the expression in Laverne’s eyes that she was thinking about it again. Susan wanted to explain further, but she knew she couldn’t. The more she tried to defend herself, the more convinced Laverne would be that there really was something going on between Susan and Keith. She needed to quit while she was ahead.

At five o’clock Laverne stood. “It’s getting late. I’d better be going. What are you two doing for dinner tonight?”

Susan shrugged. “I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about it. Why?”

“Well, I thought maybe you might like to go out somewhere? Maybe to Mama’s?”

“Yeah!” Scott said, grinning. “Yeah, Mom, let’s go!” Mama’s was a small, family-owned Mexican restaurant and one of his favorites.

“All right,” Susan said. They hadn’t had Mexican food in at least two weeks. “That sounds good.” They decided on the time, and Susan said she and Scott would come by and pick up Laverne. Then after giving Scott a hug and kiss, Laverne left.

Before her car had even pulled out of the driveway, Scott said, “Mom, I’ve got an idea!”

“Oh? And what is that?”

“Why don’t we call Keith and ask him to go to Mama’s with us tonight?”

Susan was so taken aback by this suggestion, for a moment, she didn’t answer. Finally she found her voice. “I don’t think so, Scott.”

Scott frowned. ‘‘Why not? Keith really likes Mexican food, and he’s never been to Mama’s.”

“How do you know he’s never been to Mama’s?”

“He told me.”

“He told you?”

“Yeah. When we were buildin’ my tree house. We were talking, and Keith said he really missed Mexican food when he lived in Alaska, and I told him Mama’s had the best Mexican food in town, ’cause that’s what Dad always said, and Keith said he’d never been there.” Scott said all this so fast, he was breathless by the time he finished.

“Well, I’m sorry, honey, but it wouldn’t be right to ask Keith to come with us. Not when your grandmother invited us to have dinner with her.”

Scott’s frown deepened into a scowl. “But I want him to come,” he said stubbornly.

The fact that Scott was normally a well-behaved child was the reason Susan decided not to chide him for his unbecoming behavior right now. “Remember what I told you? That we don’t necessarily get what we want all the time? Well, this is one of those times.” Good grief, she could just imagine what Laverne would have to say if they were to show up with Keith in tow tonight!

“But why not? Don’t you like Keith?”

“Whether or not I like Keith is not the point, Scott. The point is that when someone invites you to do something, they’re inviting you," Susan explained patiently. “They don’t want you inviting other people to come along.”

Scott opened his mouth, his expression saying he was going to protest.

“Now I don’t want to hear another word about it, okay?” Susan said firmly.

Scott didn’t look happy, and he muttered a bit under his breath, but he was smart enough to know when Susan meant business, so he didn’t continue the argument.

Susan almost added, and please don’t talk about Keith tonight, then thought better of it. Calling Scott’s attention to the fact that Laverne didn’t like Keith would only confuse the boy and raise questions Susan didn’t feel equipped to answer. Worse, he might even say something to Laverne.

Later, though, Susan was sorry she hadn’t talked to Scott further, because they had no sooner sat down at their table at Mama’s when Scott said, “I wanted Mom to call and invite Keith to come tonight, Gran, but she wouldn’t. She said you wouldn’t like it, but you wouldn’t have cared, would you?”

Susan knew her face was turning red. She could have strangled Scott.

Laverne’s eyes briefly met Susan’s before turning to Scott. “Well, honey, actually, your mother was right. I would have cared.”

“But why? Keith’s nice, and he was Dad’s best friend! He’s fun, too. I like him.”

Susan knew what it must have cost Laverne to smile as affectionately as she did. “I’m sure he is fun, sweetheart, and I know you like him. But I’m awfully selfish when it comes to my two favorite people in the world. I don’t like to share you with anyone else. You can understand that, can’t you?”

Susan noticed that Laverne didn’t say I like him, too.

Scott thought about what his grandmother had said for a moment. Then, giving her an embarrased smile, he said, “Yeah, Gran, I understand.”

Laverne reached across and squeezed Scott’s hand. “Good.”

Keith’s name wasn’t mentioned again, but Susan knew her mother-in-law hadn’t forgotten about him, any more than Susan had. Susan also knew the subject was bound to come up again, because even though Susan didn’t want to hurt Laverne, she also didn’t want to give up seeing Keith. And if she continued seeing him, even just as a friend, Laverne was bound to hear about it, either through the well-oiled gossip network or through a remark of Scott’s.

Anyway, even if Susan wanted to stop seeing Keith, Scott would never let her. His obstinance tonight when he’d wanted her to invite Keith to come along to dinner had shown her that.

Why was life so difficult?

* * *

“I really like Susan Sheridan, don’t you?” For a moment, Jan Callahan wasn’t sure her husband had heard her, because he continued scouring the sink and didn’t answer. It was Sunday evening, the day after the dinner at the church, and the two of them were just finishing cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. "Honey?"

Patrick Jr. finally turned around. “Yeah, I like Susan.” He grinned. “What’s on your mind?”

“What do you mean, what’s on my mind?”

“Just what I said. I know you, Jan. You never ask idle questions. There’s always a reason behind them.”

Jan smiled sheepishly. “Okay, you’re right. I just thought, seeing them together last night, that Keith and Susan are perfect for each other.”

“Now Jan...”

“I know, I know, you hate matchmaking.”

“With good reason.”

Jan grimaced, remembering how her last attempt at bringing two people together had backfired, resulting in the near loss of two friends.

“Your trouble,” her husband said, “is you’re a romantic and you think everyone else feels the same way.”

“No...” She walked over to him and put her arms around his waist. She gave him a teasing smile. “My trouble is, I’m so happy with you, my love, that I want everyone else to be happy, too.”

Patrick Jr., who always knew a cue when he heard one, lifted her face for a kiss. Jan sighed with pleasure and closed her eyes. She and Patrick Jr. had been married for almost seventeen years now, since he was twenty-two and she was twenty-one, but the spark was still alive. One kiss led to another. Their breathing quickened and she could feel him hardening against her. His hands moved down to cup her bottom, and he pulled her tight against him.

“Let’s go upstairs,” he muttered.

Shaking her head regretfully, she said, “You know we can’t. The kids are still awake.”

“So? They’re watching TV. They won’t miss us.” He laughed softly. “C’mon, hon, we’ll have a quickie.”

“Later,” she whispered, kissing him hard, then pushing herself away. “And it won’t be a quickie!” She took a deep breath to slow her heartbeat. Amazing, she thought, how, within minutes, he could still turn her on.

“I’m not going to let you forget,” he warned.

“As if I wanted to...”

They smiled at each other, then Patrick Jr. got back to the business of the unfinished sink.

A few minutes later, Jan said, “How about if we have a dinner party next weekend and invite Susan and Keith?”

Patrick Jr. laughed. “You’re not going to forget about this, are you?”

“Probably not.”

He shrugged. “Go ahead. I don’t care. Just don’t make it too obvious, okay?”

“I won’t. I’ll ask Jackie and Alan, too, and maybe Sophie and Ted.” The other two couples were longtime friends.

“Fine. Whatever you want. But Jan...”

“What?”

“Don’t get too carried away with this, okay? Having them for dinner is fine, but after that, it’s gotta be hands-off. Whatever happens next, if anything does happen, will be up to Keith and Susan. Agreed?”

“Agreed.”

Undaunted by her husband’s cautionary words, Jan smiled happily. Everything was going to work out great, she was sure of it, especially with a little judicious help from her. By the time she and Patrick Jr. had finished up in the kitchen and joined their daughters in the family room, she was already spinning daydreams about being asked to be the matron of honor at Susan and Keith’s wedding and then, how afterwards she and Patrick Jr. would be the godparents for their first child.

Tomorrow, she would call Susan at work and get the matchmaking ball rolling.

* * *

“Call for you on line two, Susan.”

“Thanks, Rhonda.”

Susan punched the indicated line. “Susan Sheridan.”

“Susan? Hi. This is Jan. Jan Callahan.”

“Jan, hi!” Susan smiled with pleasure.

“Is this a bad time?”

“No, not at all. Tom went into Austin today for a meeting with the education-finance committee, so it’s pretty quiet here. Which is nice for a change,” she added. “Gives me a chance to get caught up.”

“Well, good. Listen, I won’t keep you. I just wondered if you were free on Saturday.”

“Saturday? You mean during the day?”

“No, Saturday night.”

“Oh.” Susan frowned in confusion. “Um, yes, I’m free then.”

“Great. Pat and I are going to have a little dinner party, and we’d like you to come.”

“Oh.” Now Susan was really taken aback. It had been a long time since she’d been invited to anything resembling a dinner party. In fact, except for invitations from Laverne and Zoe she hadn’t been invited out socially since Paul’s death. “Well, I, um...that’s really nice of you. I’d love to come.”

“Good. I’m also asking Pat’s brother, Keith, and Sophie and Tucker Temple and Jackie MacMillan and Alan Maravek. I know you know Keith, but how about the others?’ ’

“I’ve met Sophie and Tucker. Their son plays soccer and he and Scott were on the same team last year. I’ve never met Jackie MacMillan or Alan Maravek, though.” So Keith would be there. Was Jan thinking of them as a couple? Did that mean everyone in his family saw them that way? In a way, it was flattering, but Susan knew it wasn’t a good idea to encourage the thought. She bit her lip. She should never have said she’d come to the party.

You’re in dangerous waters. Getting in deeper and deeper. Get out now while you still can.

“Well, they’re really nice,” Jan said. “Jackie has a dancing school—my girls have all studied with her—and Alan is a tennis buddy of Patrick’s. He works for a computer company in Austin.”

While Jan was talking, Susan cast around for some reason to say she had been mistaken about being free and wouldn’t be able to come to the dinner party after all. But she could think of nothing that wouldn’t sound lame. Trouble was, she was a terrible liar. “Wh-what time were you thinking of?”

“Come around seven. On second thought, I’ll ask Keith to pick you up. That way you won’t have to come by yourself.”

Susan opened her mouth to object, but before she could, Jan added breezily, “Well, I’d better not keep you. See you Saturday. I’m really looking forward to it.” Then she broke the connection.

Susan stared at the phone for a long time before slowly replacing the receiver in the cradle. “How do I get myself in these predicaments?" she murmured.

You know how. When it comes to anything to do with Keith Callahan, you can’t say no. The truth is, you want the impossible. And even though you know the impossible is impossible, you still think, deep in your heart, that somehow, some way, a miracle will happen. That’s why you keep seeing Keith.

Susan buried her head in her hands. Suddenly she felt as if she were on an out-of-control train. It was hurtling through a tunnel, and at the end of the tunnel was a mountain. There was no way around the mountain. No miracle to save her. Nothing to prevent the monumental collision that awaited her at journey’s end.

* * *

A few minutes before quitting time, Susan got another phone call. This time the caller was Zoe.

“Hey,” she said, “I haven’t seen you in days.”

“I know,” Susan said, “I’ve been snowed under.”

“Yeah, me, too. Working for a living really puts a dent in your relaxation time.”

Susan laughed.

“I wondered if you and Scott wanted to come over for dinner tonight. I made an enchilada casserole yesterday and I’ve got at least two-thirds of it left.”

Susan thought about not having to cook. “Sounds wonderful. I can bring a salad to go with it.”

“Great. I’ll open some wine. Come about six-thirty.”

Dinner was delicious, and afterwards, with Scott happily watching TV and simultaneously working on a puzzle in the living room, the two women relaxed over a second glass of wine. Before long, Susan found herself telling Zoe about the fiasco of Laverne and the antique cars.

“Why do you think she dislikes Keith so much?” Zoe asked curiously.

“I think she’d dislike anyone she suspected I might be interested in.”

“Really? She’s never struck me as the mean type.”

“She’s not mean. She’s just so protective of Paul and his memory. She doesn’t want anything to change.”

Zoe nodded thoughtfully.

“And you know, I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I think Keith reminds her of Paul too much. I think in some strange way she resents Keith because he’s alive and Paul isn’t.”

“Or maybe she’s afraid if you and Keith get together, you might leave Rainbow’s End. I mean, he does seem to have wanderlust.”

Susan frowned. “I’d never do that.”

“Are you sure? What if you fall madly in love? You know, like the song? Truly, madly, deeply….” Her smile was half sly, half teasing. “Actually, I’m surprised you’re not already in love with Keith. If I wasn’t such an old lady, I could probably go for him myself.”

Susan forced herself to keep her voice light. “Since I happen to know you’re only thirty-nine, you can’t call yourself old.” Zoe had just had her birthday in July, and because it fell on a Saturday, Zoe took the day off and she and Emma went to Austin and splurged on a fancy spa day.

“Don’t change the subject.”

“I’m not. Anyway, this is all moot. I’m not ready for a romantic relationship, even if my mother-in-law did approve.”

After that, to Susan’s relief, the subject turned to Zoe’s job and then it was time to go home, and somehow she never got around to mentioning the dinner party Jan Callahan had cleverly coerced her into saying she’d attend, even though she’d planned to tell Zoe about it.

Susan didn’t have to wonder what Zoe would have said if she had told her. She would have said Susan wasn’t being honest with herself, because if she really wasn’t interested in Keith or ready for a romantic relationship, as she claimed, she would have politely declined Jan Callahan’s invitation.

And then she’d probably have smiled, again a bit slyly, and added that there was still time. All Susan had to do was pick up the phone tomorrow and tell Jan that something had come up, and she couldn’t come after all.

But even as the thought appeared, Susan knew she wasn’t going to do it.