Chapter 6

 

Keith drilled the last of the holes needed to install the final blind, and five minutes later he was finished. He tested the blind, making sure it opened and closed easily. When it checked out, he turned to Scott, who had been helping him by handing him things.

“Well, that’s it. Let’s get these tools put away, then I guess we’d better wash up.”

Scott’s eager agreement gave Keith a warm feeling. He really was a nice kid. Paul must have been proud of him. What a dirty shame it was that Paul had died so young, leaving Scott without a father to look up to and do things with. At least if the kid had grandfathers or uncles—some male figure in his life—it wouldn’t be so bad. But there was no one. Susan’s parents were gone, and only Paul’s mother remained.

Now if Keith were going to stay in Rainbow’s End . . .

The moment the thought reared its head, Keith dismissed it as being presumptuous, not to mention egotistical. He was probably the last person Susan would want hanging around as a constant reminder of their youthful folly.

“I’ll show you where the bathroom is,” Scott said as they finished packing up Keith’s tools.

Once they were cleaned up, they headed down to the kitchen, where Susan was putting the finishing touches to the table. Up till now, Keith had been too interested in the home’s occupants to pay much attention to his surroundings, but now he looked around admiringly.

Funny, he thought, how you could always tell a woman’s kitchen versus a man’s. This kitchen definitely had a woman’s touch. It looked cheerful and homey with yellow print wallpaper, white cupboards and countertops, and several healthy-looking plants dotting the windowsills. In the center of the room was a round, light-oak table, festively set with dark turquoise dishes.

Susan looked up as they walked in. Her face was becomingly flushed, her eyes bright. He realized she was even better looking now than she’d been ten years ago. And he also realized he wanted her every bit as much now as he had then. He knew the thought was inappropriate and tried to push it away.

“Everything’s just about ready,” she said.

“Table looks nice.”

She smiled. “Thanks.” She pointed to one of the chairs. “Have a seat.”

‘‘Do you mind if I use the phone first?’’ Keith had belatedly remembered his mother would be expecting him for dinner.

“No, of course not. Um, if you’d like some privacy, there’s a phone in the study. Scott, show him where it is.”

Keith followed Scott down the hall and into a small room at the side of the house that was furnished with a walnut desk, leather chairs, and bookcases. Paul’s room, he thought, looking at the pictures of hunting dogs that adorned the walls. Then he saw the picture of himself, Paul, and Paul’s father. With a wrench of sadness, he remembered how much he and Paul used to enjoy going hunting with Paul’s dad. Keith wondered if Paul had ever taken Scott hunting, and regret filled him once more for all the things Paul and Scott would never do together.

“There’s the phone,” Scott said.

Shaking off his melancholy thoughts, Keith smiled at the boy. “Thanks.”

Scott politely left him alone then, and Keith called home. Once that was taken care of, he rejoined Scott and Susan in the kitchen. Scott was already seated, and Susan was spooning chili into a bowl for him.

“Hand me your bowl, Keith.” She filled his bowl, then hers. Keith waited until she was ready to sit down before taking his place.

“We always say grace,” Susan said, reaching for Scott’s hand.

“So does my family,” Keith said. A little self-consciously, he reached for Scott’s other hand before offering his right hand to her. Her eyes met his briefly as she slipped her hand into his.

She said a short prayer, and even though Keith tried to concentrate on the words, he was too conscious of the feel of hers and Scott’s hands, too aware of how good it was to be here with them, and too mindful of how much he’d missed all these years and how much Paul would miss in all the years to come.

But whatever sadness he felt was quickly banished once they began to eat, because Scott eagerly asked Keith to tell him about his years in Alaska.

Keith described the state—the forests and mountains—and what it was like to fly through the fjords. He told them how a person could travel hundreds of miles without seeing another human being.

“It sounds so cool,” Scott said.

“It does sound beautiful,” Susan said.

“It’s an unbelievably beautiful place,” Keith said. “But it can be lonely.”

“Did you ever see any bears?” Scott said. A typical kid, he wasn’t interested in discussions of loneliness.

Keith smiled. “Yes. A couple of times. But I stayed away from them. Bears are dangerous.”

“I know. We read about them in school. Man, they’re huge!”

“Yes, they are.”

"And my teacher said they can run really fast.”

“That’s true,” Keith said. “Some people have made the mistake of thinking they could outrun a bear. Believe me, you can’t.”

“What kind of a place do you live in?” Susan asked.

“I rent an apartment. Three rooms over a store.”

“Really?”

“Yep. There’s a souvenir shop on the first floor and my apartment upstairs. The guy who owns the store used to live in it, but then he got married and they had a baby, so they built a little house and moved. I like it. It’s right on the main street.”

“Souvenirs?” Susan said. “I thought you lived in a remote area.”

“Ketchikan’s a port, and most of the big cruise ships dock there for a few hours on their way up the inside passage, so we get lots of tourists during the summer. In fact, the tourist trade is a large part of the town’s income. So in that sense, we’re not remote.”

She nodded and for the first time since they’d started eating, silence fell between them. Scott broke it by saying, “What’s for dessert, Mom?”

“There are some chocolate-chip cookies left.”

“Oh, good. Where are they?”

“In the pantry. You’ll see. I put them in a plastic container.” Susan turned to Keith. “How about you? Can I interest you in some cookies? They’re homemade.”

Keith patted his stomach. “Thanks, but I’ve been eating too much since I got here. I think I’ll pass.” He smiled. “Thanks for the dinner, Susan. It was great.”

“You’re welcome. I appreciate your coming over and putting up the hoop and...” She broke off, glancing toward the window that faced the driveway. “Someone’s here.”

Keith heard the clunk of a car door, then the creak of the side gate opening and closing. A few seconds later, there was a knock at the kitchen door.

“It’s Gran!” shouted Scott, jumping up.

Susan pushed her chair back and stood.

Scott ran to the door and opened it. “Gran! Hi!”

Keith slowly got to his feet and watched as Laverne Sheridan bent to hug Scott. Keith could see that his sister and brother had been right. Even making allowances for the more than ten years that had passed since he’d seen Paul’s mother, the changes in her were glaring. She did look old, and he was pretty sure she was only four or five years older than his own mother, who looked great at nearly sixty-one. As Laverne straightened, her gaze landed on Keith. Shock, followed by a glimmer of something else, flared in her eyes. For a moment, Keith had the crazy thought the emotion he’d seen was fear, but it was gone so fast he told himself he’d imagined it.

“Mom,” Susan said, “you remember Keith Callahan, don’t you?”

“Yes, of course. I heard you were home, Keith. How are you?”

She smiled, but Keith sensed a lack of warmth in the smile, even though her voice and expression were completely pleasant. He guessed if she wasn’t overjoyed to see him, he could understand the reason. In her eyes, he hadn’t been much of a friend to Paul once he’d taken off for Alaska.

“I’m fine, Mrs. Sheridan. How are you?”

The smile faded, and she shrugged. “As well as can be expected, I suppose.”

“I was very sorry to hear about Paul,” Keith said awkwardly.

She nodded, biting her lower lip. The bleakness in her eyes was painful to see.

Susan had moved to Laverne’s side. She put her arm around her mother-in-law and kissed her cheek. “Have you eaten? There’s lots of chili left.”

“Thank you, dear, but I’m not hungry.”

“Now, Mom, you have to eat.”

Laverne started to say something, then sighed. “Oh, all right. I’ll have a small bowl. Small,” she emphasized.

Susan smiled. “Good. Sit down.” She indicated the extra chair.

Laverne put her purse down and walked over to the table, but she didn’t sit. She looked at Keith again. “How long are you going to be in Rainbow’s End, Keith?”

“I’m not sure. A couple of weeks, probably.”

Susan placed a steaming bowl on the table in front of Laverne. “Here’s your chili. I put Rotel in it.”

Paul’s mother nodded and gave Susan a faint smile.

While his mother had been fixing his grandmother’s food, Scott had gone to the pantry. Now he came back to the table with the plastic container of cookies. He sat down and Paul’s mother followed suit. Keith decided it might be a good idea for him to leave. It was obvious to him that Laverne Sheridan was not overjoyed to see him, and he’d just had the unpleasant realization that part of the reason for her lack of enthusiasm might be because she thought he was trying to make a move on Susan. But no sooner had the thought formed than he dismissed it. It was probably just his own guilty conscience that had planted that idea. Even so, it was time to go.

“Susan,” he said, turning to her. “I’m going to be on my way. Thanks again for dinner.”

“Oh, do you hafta go?” Scott said, disappointment written all over his face.

Keith smiled down at him. “Yeah, I’m afraid I do.”

“But you’re gonna come back, aren’t you? ’Cause we gotta play one-on-one again.”

Keith hesitated. He wanted to say yes. He liked Scott a lot, yet he wasn’t sure how Susan would feel about him spending more time with the boy. “We’ll see,” he hedged. He turned to Susan. “Remember, if you need anything else done around here in the next couple of weeks, just give me a call.”

“Thanks, Keith. I appreciate that.”

Finally, he addressed Paul’s mother. “Goodbye, Mrs. Sheridan. It was good to see you again.”

“Goodbye, Keith.” She didn’t smile.

As he walked out the door, he knew one thing for certain. If Paul’s mother had anything to do with it, this was the last time Keith would ever set foot in Susan’s house.

* * *

Susan was mystified by her mother-in-law’s behavior. Normally a warm, friendly woman, she’d obviously been less than thrilled to see Keith. Was something wrong?

“How did Keith happen to be here for dinner?” Laverne said as soon as the door closed behind him.

“We ran into him at Kroger yesterday and he offered to put up the basketball hoop for Scott. You know, the one I bought in San Antonio. It was delivered the other day.” Susan tried not to sound defensive, but her mother-in-law’s tone and the almost accusatory look in her eyes made it difficult not to.

“Yeah,” said Scott around a mouthful of cookie. “And I helped him! It was cool. And then we played one-on-one. And then me and Keith installed the blinds Mom bought. He let me hold the drill and showed me how to put the screws in and everything! You should see his toolbox, Gran. He’s got everything. He told me before he went to Alaska he used to work for his father and build houses and schools and all kinds of stuff. He worked on my school, he said.” All of this information was delivered so fast that half his words ran together.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, Scott,” Susan said when she could get a word in. It was clear to her that Scott had a bad case of hero-worship. She only wished he hadn’t shown it so plainly to his grandmother, because she was afraid Laverne would view his enthusiasm as some sort of disloyalty to Paul. Although why she should, Susan didn’t know.

Laverne nodded. “I see.” But when her eyes met Susan’s a moment later, it wasn’t sadness or hurt that Susan saw in their blue depths. It was something else, something Susan couldn’t define.

Susan knew she had done nothing wrong, but she couldn’t stop the creeping feelings of guilt or the sudden awareness that Laverne might actually be thinking that it wasn’t only Scott who was enamored of Keith, but that Susan, too, might be thinking of him, maybe as a replacement for Paul. “It was very nice of Keith to offer to put up the hoop and install the mini-blinds for us.” This time the words did sound defensive, but Susan couldn’t help it.

“Yes,” Laverne said, “very nice.” But the words didn’t carry the ring of sincerity and the odd look remained, even as she picked up her spoon and took a bite of her chili.

“Mom,” Scott said, totally oblivious to the undertones between his mother and his grandmother. He shoved his chair back. “I’m done. Can I go play with my new PlayStation?”

“Sure,” Susan said, relieved that he was going. The last thing she wanted was for him to sense any discord between her and Laverne. Besides, Laverne had bought the PlayStation for him, so it should please her that he wanted to play with it.

The moment they heard his footsteps on the stairs, Laverne said, “You know, Susan, if you need anything else done around here that you can’t do yourself, just let me know. I’ll send John over.” She was referring to the handyman/gardener who worked for her a couple of days each week.

Susan nodded, even though she had no intention of letting Laverne take care of things that she herself needed to take care of. But it was easier to pretend to agree than to get into a debate over the subject.

“I’d much rather John do things for you than have you obligated to anyone else,” Laverne added.

Although she had obviously tried to make her comment sound casual, Susan detected a certain edge to the words. After a few seconds debate on how to answer, Susan said, “I don’t feel obligated to Keith. I think, because of Paul, it made Keith feel good to do something for Scott.”

Laverne shrugged. “Yes, well...”

There was definitely something else going on here, something other than what her mother-in-law had said. You didn’t have to be a brain surgeon to see that Laverne didn’t approve of Keith and didn’t want Susan and Scott to have anything to do with him.

“...that’s enough of that,” Laverne continued. “Let’s talk about something much more pleasant. Have you given any more thought to the California trip?”

Laverne wanted to take Susan and Scott with her to California in October. She was planning to visit her oldest friend and thought it would be good for all of them to get away. Susan hadn’t agreed yet, because it bothered her to take Scott out of school for an entire week, even though he was an excellent student and could probably make up the work without any difficulty. But now, Susan had another reason for declining the offer, and she’d been putting off telling her mother-in-law about it, because she knew her news would upset Laverne.

“Yes,” she said, “I’ve thought about it, but... well, I’m afraid we won’t be able to go with you.”

“Susan, why not? You’re not still worried about Scott, are you? It won’t hurt him to miss a week of school. We’ll have such a great time. Frances has all kinds of things planned for us. Things he’ll adore. A day at Disneyland. A day at Universal Studios. He’ll have a wonderful time and he’ll learn a lot.”

Susan sighed. Laverne was right. It wouldn’t hurt Scott to miss a week of school. “Okay, Mom, Scott can go. But I can’t.” Before her mother-in-law could protest, Susan rushed on. “You see, I...last week I interviewed for a job and...and yesterday morning I found out I got it.”

“A job!” Laverne was clearly flabbergasted. “You’re not serious. What kind of a job?”

Susan smiled. She felt a tremendous relief now that she’d finally told Laverne. “I’m going to be Tom Shaver’s assistant.” Tom was the dean of the local community college and an old friend of Paul’s late father’s. “I’m starting next week.”

Laverne shook her head. “Susan, this is crazy. You don’t need to work. There’s plenty of money. You know that.”

“It’s not entirely about money,” Susan said gently. “Please try to understand, Mom. I need to do something. I need to feel productive. But even if I didn’t, I couldn’t take your money.”

“But Susan, whatever I have, it would have been Paul’s someday, anyway. And now it’s going to be yours and Scott’s.”

Susan sighed. She reached for Laverne’s hand and stroked it softly. “I love you for offering to help me. But I have to make my own way.”

“But...but what about Scott?”

“I’ve enrolled him in Molly Callahan’s program.” Molly was married to Jim Callahan, a cousin of Keith’s, and ran an after-school and summer program for children ages six through twelve whose mothers worked. Everyone Susan had talked to had nothing but glowing things to say about both Molly and her program.

“Oh, Susan, no!” Laverne said. “Not day care. If you really must go to work, I’ll watch Scott.” Before answering, Susan steeled herself. She had known this was what Laverne would say. Again she spoke very gently. “We both know that wouldn’t work. Scott needs to be around other children. But more than that, you have your own life to live.” Laverne had finally begun to resume some of her old activities, and Susan did not want to see her give them up.

For a long moment, Laverne stared at her. Then, like a balloon whose air has been let out, she seemed to shrink. She put down her spoon and sank back in her chair. Her lower lip trembled. “I hate this,” she whispered with stricken eyes. “I hate this. Paul should be here. Then none of this would be happening.”

Susan’s own eyes filled with tears. She got up and knelt by Laverne’s chair. Putting her arms around her mother-in-law, she said, “I know.”

“It’s so unfair,” Laverne cried in a muffled voice. “No mother should ever outlive her child. I-I’d almost given up having a child when I finally got pregnant, and Paul...he was worth waiting for. He was the perfect son.”

“I know,” Susan repeated. Laverne was right. Outliving a child was against the laws of nature. And Paul had been the perfect son. She wished she could think of something comforting to say to her mother-in-law, but everything had been said dozens of times. Besides, what good were platitudes? Paul was gone, and nothing would change that fact. And yet, Susan had to try, because she loved Laverne and couldn’t stand seeing her so unhappy. “It is unfair, but Paul wouldn’t want you to grieve like this. You know he wouldn’t.”

For a long moment, Laverne didn’t answer. Finally she gave a long, shuddering sigh, sniffed and moved away from Susan’s embrace. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Her eyes met Susan’s and she made a brave attempt to smile. “I love you, Susan. You were a wonderful wife to Paul and you’re a wonderful mother to Scott. And you’ve been a wonderful daughter to me.”

Susan’s throat was almost too full to speak. Still she managed to say, “I love you, too.”

As the two women hugged, Susan felt the weight of her responsibility to this woman who had been so good to her and had taken her into her heart so completely.

In that moment, she vowed she would never, ever do anything to hurt Laverne. And if keeping that vow meant not seeing Keith again, then somehow Susan would have to find a way to explain the situation to Scott.

* * *

As Keith walked down Susan’s driveway to his truck, he spied a woman coming toward him from next door.

“Hi,” she called as she approached.

“Hi,” he said, smiling. What red-blooded man wouldn’t smile? The woman was a knockout redhead. 

“I’m Zoe Madison, Susan’s neighbor.” Her dark brown eyes were friendly, if curious.

“Keith Callahan, an old friend of the family.”

They shook hands. Now that she was close enough to study, he figured she was probably around Susan’s age. But who knew? It was hard to tell a woman’s age nowadays. He wondered if they were friends.

“I thought it was you," she said. "Your sister Sheila mentioned you were coming home.”

“Oh, you know Sheila?”

Zoe nodded. "We met at Curves.”

"What’s a Curves?"

"It’s an exercise place for women. Near downtown."

He grinned. "My little sister exercises?"

"Shall I tell her you said that?" Her eyes twinkled.

"Please don’t. She’ll kill me." Now he was laughing. 

She laughed, too. "Yes, she does have a temper." Then she became more serious. "So how long are you staying in Rainbow’s End?”

Keith shrugged. “I don’t know. At least a couple of weeks.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. I thought maybe you’d moved back home for good.”

Keith wasn’t sure how to answer. Was she coming on to him? He didn’t think so. He wasn’t getting that kind of vibe from her. Maybe Sheila had said something about the family wanting him back. That must be it.

“I saw you playing ball with Scott earlier," she added, as if she could read his mind, "and I just thought . . . well, you know. You were a good friend of Paul’s, right? It would be nice for Scott . . . and Susan . . . to have you closer.”

There was an odd glimmer in her eyes. Almost as if she knew exactly how he felt about Susan. Keith suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable and wanted nothing more than to escape her astute gaze.

“Well," she said when he didn’t comment, “it was very nice to meet you, Keith. I hope you enjoy your visit in Rainbow’s End.”

“Thanks. It was nice to meet you, too.” He waited until she’d turned to go back to her own house before climbing into his truck and taking off. Looking into his rear view mirror as he drove down the street he saw she was standing in her front yard watching him.

Keith thought about Zoe Madison, and by extension, Susan and Scott and Paul’s mother all the way home. He wished...hell, he didn’t know what he wished. He guessed he wished things could be different. That Susan was free and he was free and he could see her without feeling guilty about it. That he could even talk about her without feeling awkward and imagining all kinds of things.

Trouble was, he and Susan would never be free of the past. The past existed, and now Paul’s shadow would always be between them.

Forget about her. You saw her. You saw she’s okay, that she doesn’t hold any kind of grudge against you, and you did what you could to show her you’re sorry about everything. Now it’s time to move on.

But no matter how much he lectured himself, he couldn’t seem to put Susan or Scott out of his mind. He was still thinking about them when he pulled up in front of his parents’ home. Walking inside, he found Rory there.

“’Bout time you got home,” Rory said. “I’ve been waiting over an hour.”

“What’re you doing here? Don’t you have a home of your own?” Keith countered.

“I thought maybe we could go lift a few at Pot O’ Gold.” Pot O’ Gold was the local hangout for their old gang.

That was a good idea. Maybe then Keith would be able to forget about Susan and her nosy neighbor. “Sure. Sounds good. Just let me get cleaned up and change my clothes. Shouldn’t take more than thirty minutes.”

“We’ll walk,” Rory said. “That way, if we have a few too many, we won’t have to worry about driving. I can always crash here tonight, can’t I, Ma?”

“Just don’t wake me up when you come in,” she said.

True to his word, Keith was ready to go a half hour later. Keith’s parents lived a short six-block walk to the downtown area of Rainbow’s End, which was where Pot O’ Gold was located. It was a pleasant stroll now that the sun had gone down, so the brothers didn’t hurry.

“Guess who’s working at Pot O’ Gold now,” Rory said.

“Who?”

“Kitty O’Brien.”

“Really?” Kitty O’Brien had been in the same high school graduating class as Keith, and he’d dated her for a couple of months just before his twentieth birthday. “I haven’t thought about Kitty in years. How’s she doing?”

“She’s had some ups and downs. You know she married Doug Paglia.”

“No, I didn’t know that.” Doug was another ex-classmate of Keith’s, but he’d run around with a faster crowd than Keith had ever cared to be associated with.

“Yeah. I guess he knocked her around some before she finally threw him out. Then a year later he got busted for dealing cocaine.”

“No kidding? That’s too bad.”

“Anyway, Kitty’s been at Pot O’ Gold for a couple of years now. Big Jim really thinks a lot of her.” Big Jim Sullivan was the owner of the pub and a friend of Patrick Sr. “She’s still a looker, too.” Rory grinned. “I told her you were coming home, and she was real interested.”

“Oh, yeah?” Maybe that’s what Keith needed. A good-looking woman to take his mind off another good-looking woman who was off-limits.

By now they’d reached the pub. When Keith and Rory walked in, they were greeted enthusiastically by a rowdy crowd. There was a lot of backslapping and good-to-see-you-agains for Keith.

“Hey, Rory, Keith, over here!” someone yelled. Rory grinned. “Kevin and Jack Kinsella are here.”

Keith craned his neck to see, and sure enough, there was Kevin and his best friend in the back of the room. It took Keith a while to get there, though, because along the way he kept seeing people he knew and had to stop and talk. Finally he made it to the table, where Rory was already seated.

“So you guys still hang out here, huh?” Keith said.

Jack shrugged. “There’s not exactly a lot to do in this town at night.”

“On weekends, we go into Austin a lot,” Kevin said, “but during the week, this is the place to be.”

Keith looked around. Not much had changed over the years. There were still three dartboards mounted, with people playing games at each one. And there was still a piano player and a bunch of people gathered around him, singing old songs. The only difference was the addition of a big-screen TV near the bar, but how anyone could hear it over the din was a mystery to Keith.

While he was still looking around, he saw a waitress weaving her way through the tables. He smiled as he recognized Kitty O’Brien. When she got closer, he stood.

“Keith! Hi!”

She reached up to hug him. Rory had been right, he thought as they drew apart. She was still a looker, with shoulder-length blonde hair and a great body.

“Rory told me you were coming home.” Her smile said she was very glad to see him.

“Hello, Kitty. You’re looking good.”

“So are you. You’re looking very good.” She gave him a slow, provocative once-over. Behind him, his brothers chuckled.

The invitation in her eyes should have made Keith feel terrific. But all he felt was the normal pleasure of seeing an old friend.

Yes, she was a looker. And, yes, she was sexy.

And, yes, most men would be salivating over her and planning how they could get her into their bed.

But unfortunately for him, his head was filled with the image of a brown-eyed woman with a sweet smile and a husky voice.

A woman he didn’t have a chance in hell of ever winning.

A woman who just might have forever spoiled him for anyone else.