Piper set off at a march, the crisp layer of ice embedded in the dirt crunched under her feet. Where the sun peeked through the canopy, the ground was soft and her boots sunk in. Anson was tight to her back, she could feel him. She was glad she couldn’t see him at the moment. She could almost pretend that she was alone on a leisurely walk in the woods. But it wasn’t a slow hike. She was pushing herself, and her breath puffed into the air.

She scolded herself as her feet moved over the trail. She’d forgotten and let her guard down. It had only been for a moment. Piper had jumped into the car with Anson, happily stuffing her face with a donut, and she’d forgotten. She had reveled in the fact that she was sitting in the front seat. Not the back in the middle all alone, but up front like a normal person and she had let herself be distracted for just a moment. When her eyes hit that bouquet of flowers in the fence, she knew. She knew she had been stupid. The appeal of something that bordered on a date had let her imagine a day without watching her back.

She was angry at herself. So fucking angry. How stupid could she have been? If her two failed weddings didn’t tell her that real life wasn’t for her, there was no way a day with Anson was going to go off without a hitch. Now she was pissed. She was mad at the jerk that was ruining her life. Mad that she had let herself think about Anson in a way she’d promised herself not to. The pull towards him was getting stronger and stronger. She didn’t know if she should do the right thing and ask King to pull him off the job. It would be the right thing to do, but Piper was sick of doing the right thing. She’d put on a brave face after each disaster of a relationship and built a wall to keep people from seeing how many pieces she’d cracked into.

The tears that she hadn’t noticed falling down her cheeks chilled against her face. She half expected Anson to stop her, but he just stayed close, his presence a comfort. She marched, occasionally tripping over a root here and there. Every time she caught herself, she would grind out a “Fuck!” and keep marching.

Piper hiked until her legs started to burn and her lungs hurt. Stopping at a large fallen log, she sat and covered her face with her hands. The log shifted with Anson’s weight settling next to her. “Get it out.”

She jerked her tear-stained face up to him. “Excuse me?”

“Get it out. All of it.”

Piper sputtered, “What the hell?”

“You heard me, get it out. Now’s the time, take all that shit inside and let go of it. You are going to see your exes tomorrow and I need you clear-headed.”

Piper felt a ping in her head like she was having a stroke. He must have made a blood vessel burst in her brain. “Me? Tomorrow?”

“They’re coming in and I want you there.”

Yes, she was definitely having a stroke. “I can’t be there,” she wailed.

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t see them!”

“Of course you can. Are you still in love with either of them?”

“What?” she sputtered. “Of course not. I hate them! They broke my heart.”

“Good, then seeing them won’t be a problem.”

“The fuck you say! It will be a problem. I didn’t sign on for this. You’re supposed to be taking care of me!”

“I am, Piper. I’m going to interview them and then I want you in there to give me a read on them.”

Piper’s sadness was gone and she was angry again. It seemed to be her pattern when dealing with her emotions. Her former ability to tuck her emotions away for the sake of sanity was gone. She knew it wasn’t the escalation of the stalker. It was Anson. He brought it out in her. He made her feel past the numbness and she wanted to blame him for her breakdowns. The tears that felt old and stale against her cheeks should have been shed years ago. But that wasn’t the right time. Now she could indulge. She knew it was because no matter how bad it got, Anson seemed to show up at the right time.

Damn him.

She couldn’t become dependent on him. Even thinking it she knew it as a lie. Piper could take a full breath around him. She could feel every inch of her own skin like it was waking up. That scared her more than anything. If she turned inward, she didn’t know if she could scrape up enough of a heart to offer to him or anyone else. Who would accept scraps?

“You really think they would be more honest if I was there? I can tell you they gave me nothing but a curt farewell. No explanation, no reasoning why they would do such a thing.”

“Piper, there wouldn’t be anything I wouldn’t do to protect my mate. If these men thought of you as their mate, don’t you think they would break their own hearts for you?”

Piper shook her head. “No, they don’t get to be the victims in this,” she shouted, the sound echoing in the woods.

“What if they are? How are you going to handle that?”

“Why should I have to handle anything? It’s in the past, right?”

“No, baby, it’s not. You carry it every day and it’s as fresh now as it was then. You haven’t let it go. I have to wonder if maybe they haven’t let it go either.”

“Why are you taking their side?” she gasped, the pain in her chest seizing around her heart. He was defending them. They had torn her apart and he was defending them. He didn’t even know them.

“I’m defending them for you. I think you’re going to need to forgive them if you want to move forward.”

“I have moved forward!”

“No, you’re barely alive. You just can’t see it. You’re stuck. I’m promising you right now. I’ll figure this stalker out and I sure as hell am going to make sure you come out of this better than you went in.”

“That’s a lot of promises for someone who’s only known me for a few weeks.”

“How long does it take for someone to make a difference in your life?”

Piper shrugged. “I don’t know, but it’s got to be more than a few days.”

“Kindred need nothing more than a moment. You can fall in love between breaths.”

Piper looked away from him. “That must be amazing.”

“It is. It’s also terrifying. The anticipation can drive some crazy. The years passing by and not knowing when or where it’s coming. Is it someone you already know? A stranger on the street? There are so many variables, you have to find peace with the universe’s timing.”

“At least you know it’s coming.”

“Piper, I don’t know the whole story behind your loss. I have a feeling it’s more than even you think. You’d be doing yourself a favor if you could find some peace even before you see them.”

She looked back at him. “So I’m just supposed to accept all that humiliation and pain?”

“I think you’ve already felt it. Why keep feeling it? Be angry and be resolved to move past it. Just make the decision based on what you need to do for yourself. Not what they deserve. What do you deserve, Piper? Answer that question for yourself and you won’t need to forgive them if you don’t want to.”

Letting those words hang in the woods seemed the best option. Anson was like some Kindred philosopher and she hated that he was making sense. He reached over and took her hand in his. He brought it to his mouth, cupping both his hands around hers and breathed his warm air over them. It was sweet and thoughtful. She felt that spot in her chest twinge. Then he placed a kiss on the palm of her hand and she sucked in a breath.

His eyes came to hers and the silver sheen shone over them as he said, “Tell me you feel something for me.”

Piper could tell him the truth. That small warm kiss on her hand had sent tingles from her palm straight to her core. He knew that. He was just being polite.

“So what if I do?”

“Just say it. Let me know that I’m not alone here.”

Piper felt so shredded that she couldn’t stop the words that came out next. “If I wanted to, I could close my eyes and see a future that would be beyond my dreams. I can see you and me together, the whole shebang. Sex, children, happiness. But I know that’s just my desperation trying to make a future that I can dream about after you’re gone. It’s like a story I can tell myself. A fun ‘what if.’”

Anson turned so quickly on the log she didn’t have time to move away from him. He let go of her hands and cupped her face and his forehead came down to hers. Piper allowed herself the thrill of breathing in his air. It was warm and sweet like him.

Their lips were barely an inch apart. It would be so easy to lean forward and let them touch. It would be good, she didn’t doubt it. Anson seemed like the type who would kiss you until your toes curled. Make you forget where you were. Make you make sounds in public that normal people would be embarrassed to get caught doing, but with Anson you would just wink at anyone that was looking offended.

She couldn’t kiss him. There would be no turning back. Piper didn’t need a crystal ball to tell her that. Anson might be able to move on, but Piper would be lost forever...

“Piper, give me a goddamn chance.”

“You’re asking for too much, Anson. I don’t have it for you.”

He let out a breath and she appreciated the heat against her skin. Leaning away from him, she focused her tear-swollen eyes at him and said, “You deserve more.”

“Fuck! I deserve what I want.”

Piper let out a sad laugh. “What we want and what we need don’t always match up. Trust me on this.”

“I don’t need to trust you when I think you’re dead wrong. I’m going to show you. I know what I feel for you and there has to be a reason for that.”

“It’s because you’re really good at your job. That’s a great thing, Anson. You should be proud.”

“I’m not proud. Taking a bullet for strangers is my job. You are more than my job.”

“I’m really not. I’m exactly the job. You just got… distracted.”

“I swear to the Great Mother, Piper. You are not a fucking distraction. Did you know that I told King I’m the only one that is going to be covering you from now on? Can’t you see that just being around you gives me something?”

“Anson, I may be giving you something now, but we both know it only takes a moment to change everything. I—I think that I might be using you. Emotionally, like a crutch. I’m selfish and to be honest I still want to be selfish because I want to ask you to distract me.”

“Distract you how?”

“Would you do something for me? I mean you can say no but it’s something I’ve always wanted to see.”

He looked over at her and nodded.

“I’ve never seen a Kindred shift. I mean I’ve seen plenty in animal form. I’m kind of sad I can’t still go trick-or-treating to see Kindred answering the door as their animals. But I’ve never seen a shift.”

Piper knew there was a chance he’d tell her that it was private. That it was something that the Kindred didn’t do as a party trick. It was personal and everyone knew that. She was a little surprised when he stood and started stripping out of his clothes. Asking to see him shift was one thing, forgetting he’d have to get naked to do that made her feel silly.

There was no looking away though. Anson’s eyes were drilling into hers. She knew she was holding her breath and she really hoped she wouldn’t pass out and miss it. He had some skills in getting out of his clothes quickly. Her college roommate had shown her the Clan knife she carried to cut away clothes if they were in a hurry. It had been small and deadly sharp with intricate scrollwork carvings over the handle and blade. She thought it was a beautiful thing to have to prove you had your Clan at your back. She was surprised more Kindred didn’t show it off.

As Anson stripped, she caught a glimpse of the sheath she’d seen he wore at the small of his back on his belt. She’d love to see his knife too, but she felt like she was already asking the ultimate from him. Anson was down to his pants after kicking off his boots, his bare chest rising and falling in the cold forest air. Her eyes skimmed away from his as they settled on the iridescent design of his mark. The mark he was born with and would someday share with his mate. It looked like intertwining hearts, one upright and one upside down, connected in an infinite loop. The colors of it shimmered against his skin. Like scales on a fish. She dragged her gaze away from his perfectly formed chest, the smooth expanse that trailed down to his abs that she itched to touch.

“Don’t look away,” he ordered.

Piper nodded and let out her breath before dragging in another cold lungful. Anson closed his eyes and he rolled his neck, then his shoulders. He pulled his pants down and kicked them away. Piper did her best and only took a brief peek so she wouldn’t get caught. But if that’s what Anson’s cock looked like in the cold, whoever he ended up with was a very, very lucky woman.

Her eyes went back up and she saw the skin over his body start to shift. It was like it was stretching to accommodate something trying to get out. His smooth skin sprouted fur, different lengths over his body as his height started to grow. Every part of him was twisting and morphing into a shape that seemed impossible.

Anson went from a large, handsome, naked man, to a bear in a matter of seconds. It was explosive when he finally reached a height that she couldn’t even guess and let out a roar. Anson’s face had morphed into a long snout and a mouth of dangerous-looking teeth.

He fell to the forest floor with a thump and Piper let out a squeak. She knew that he’d be big, but not that big. He took up so much space with his massive fur-covered body and paws that looked bigger than her entire head. It took a moment for her to remind herself that it was still Anson. The eyes were different, they were golden yellow and much bigger. If she focused, she could see him. He was right there inside those beautiful eyes.

“Holy shit,” she finally said, letting out the breath she was holding. The bear made a chuffing sound and she swore he rolled his eyes.

“Did you just roll your eyes? You’ve got to give me a little time here. That was fucking awesome and it’s hard to rationalize it.” Fuck her if he didn’t shrug.

“Seriously, you’re more sarcastic as a bear,” she retorted. He made a grumbling noise that came from deep inside him.

“I’m guessing petting isn’t allowed. A little too doggy-like?”

Anson lifted a paw and made a gesture for her to come closer. Standing, she took a few hesitant steps towards him. Her hand was out in front of her like keeping a few feet apart would keep her any safer. Not that Anson would ever hurt her. In fact, just the opposite. She was sure he’d allow himself to be hurt before she was.

Her hand was an inch from him when she hesitated. Anson made the decision for her by bumping his head up to her hand. Curling her fingers into his fur, she instinctually started scratching behind his ears. “I kind of like you like this. You can’t talk shit or tell me to eat.” Anson let out a growl that should have been scary but sounded more annoyed than anything.

“Sorry. I think you really should work like this all the time. Although it might be tough fitting into cars this way. I get that. You’re warmer than I thought,” she said quietly.

Anson pushed closer to her so she was body to body with him. “Don’t think I don’t know that you’re still naked. It must be nice being so strong. You could take anything on, couldn’t you?”

He nodded and she sighed. “Some days I wish I was Kindred. My life would have been so different. Wishing for a different life is never healthy. I know that too. I’ve found sometimes my dream life is much more healthy than my regular life. I give myself permission to find my dreams where I can.”

Piper didn’t know why she was sharing more all of a sudden. It wasn’t like Anson wasn’t still in there. Having the giant creature leaning his heat into her made her feel safer and like there was nothing that could get to her if Anson in bear form was there.

She gave the ear she had her hand on another scratch and by the time she registered the hair was gone and Anson’s smooth skin was under her hand, he had shifted back. Piper found herself in Anson’s arms, her body pressed against his body. His naked body.

Holy shit.

“Anson, you’re naked.”

“I was naked before.”

“No, you were… furry.”

“I think we should get back. You have to be cold.”

Piper wasn’t going to say she was in no way cold when she was pressed against his heat. “Okay.”

Anson’s finger came under her chin and tipped her head up to face him.

“After tomorrow. We get some answers then we’re going to make some decisions.”

“Of course.”

“No, Piper. We have to figure us out.”

There was no “us” but Piper didn’t think it was the right time to remind him of that yet again. Giving in for just a moment, Piper let her face rest against his chest. His heart beat under her ear, thumping like a drum. She knew she had no right to that intimacy, but it felt too good to resist.

She needed to get the taste out of her system. Tomorrow was going to be tough enough and she knew it wasn’t going to be her exes that would be the hard part. Anson was going to need to see. She thought about pulling King in for some perspective. Maybe if Anson could see the situation through someone else’s eyes, he’d see that their time together was limited.