Chapter Twelve

Lydia dropped back to sit on the edge of the bed, attempting to process what had just happened. She wanted to go to the hospital—but did he want her there? He certainly hadn’t asked her to accompany him. I’m being silly, she scolded herself. “I love Casey and I need to see that she’s okay. If I want Jake to treat me like his wife, then I need to act like one.” Getting back to her feet, she quickly dressed then realized she didn’t know which hospital they’d taken the little girl to. She did quick calculations in her head and determined that Grand Stand Memorial was the closest to Chris’s house.

Within moments, she was backing her car out into the night and driving across town. Fifteen minutes later, she parked in the emergency entrance and rushed through the sliding doors to the information desk. She was relieved when the receptionist told her that Casey was indeed there. When Lydia explained that she was her stepmother, she was given the clearance to go to the family waiting room.

After a couple of wrong turns, she stepped into the room and immediately saw Jake standing in the corner with Chris huddled in his arms. Lydia’s heart rate accelerated, and she felt slightly nauseous. But she tried to calm herself down by justifying the sight before her. Their daughter is hurt. He’s just comforting her.

Jake spotted her over Chris’s head and looked uncomfortable, which somehow made the whole situation worse in her mind. If he felt guilty, didn’t that mean something? Clearing her throat, Lydia asked, “Have you heard anything yet?”

“Lydia, you didn’t have to drive all the way here. I would have given you a call when we found out something,” he said absently. And those words hurt her more than catching him hugging his ex. With just a few sentences, he had effectively made her feel like an outsider. As if she was in the way when she had shown up here out of concern for his daughter. Plus, how often did he actually call her by name? Normally, it was always some form of endearment.

No matter how she was reeling inside, she kept her face carefully expressionless. Keep it together; this isn’t about you. “There’s no way I could stay home not knowing what was going on. I love Casey too,” she added defensively. She moved a few feet away and took a seat. There were a handful of people on the other side of the room, but they all appeared lost in their own thoughts. She picked up a magazine and began flipping the pages, even though she couldn’t really make out any of the words on them.

The silence was oppressive and she was absurdly grateful when Jake pulled away from Chris and walked over to her. “Thanks for coming,” he said softly. Not trusting her voice to be steady, she simply nodded. He settled in the chair next to hers and she tried not to notice how Chris immediately took the one on his other side and laid her head on his shoulder. He absently put an arm around the other woman but didn’t say anything else.

Lydia had no idea how long they’d been there when the doctor finally came in to let them know that Casey had a slight concussion and had indeed fractured her arm. But otherwise, her scans were clear. Apparently, she’d told the nurse that she woke up thirsty and wanted some milk instead of the water that she had on her bedside table. The stairs were dark and she must have missed a step somewhere. The doctor said that two people could go back to see her and Lydia watched as Jake and Chris rushed out the door.

She must have nodded off while she waited for them to return because, sometime later, Jake was shaking her awake. “Wh-what? Is Casey okay?” she whispered as she struggled to her feet.

“Casey is fine,” Jake murmured. “Why don’t you let me take you home? I don’t want you driving while you’re sleepy. I’m going to stay at the hospital tonight, but there is no sense in you doing that.”

Once again, Lydia felt like she was being pushed away. She didn’t have any experience in dealing with something like this, so maybe she was overreacting. Getting to her feet, she assured Jake that she was fine to drive. He promised to give her a call in the morning and kissed her cheek before she left.

When she got home, she was so tired that she fell into bed fully clothed. As her mind attempted to process the events of the evening, she wondered where things went from here. She’d told Jake that she loved him just hours earlier, and he’d looked as if he was on the verge of bolting right before he received the call from Chris. All in all, not the reaction you wanted when you expressed your feelings to your husband. It was glaringly obvious that he didn’t feel the same way about her. Or if he did, he wasn’t ready to admit it. Maybe feeling like an outsider tonight would have been easier to deal with had that not happened earlier. As she drifted off to sleep, she wondered how life could be cruel enough to give her two men in her life to love when the fates had no intention of letting her keep either of them.

*   *   *

Jacob stared at the ceiling as he held his daughter’s uninjured small hand in his. Chris’s parents had arrived about an hour ago, and he’d urged her to go home with them for the rest of the night. He’d been desperate for some space to decompress. He was still tied in knots over Casey’s accident. In the scope of things, she’d been lucky. Her injuries could have been far worse. This was the first time that she’d had anything more serious than a scraped knee, and it was freaking him out a little. He’d done his best to remain calm through it all, though, because wasn’t that what fathers were supposed to do? He had a feeling that after the danger was over, the men usually found a dark corner somewhere and suffered a minor nervous breakdown before regrouping. At least that was what he was doing right now.

As he looked at the tiny head on the pillow, his heart clenched painfully. He’d never really considered what it was to love someone so much you were terrified something would happen to them. That type of vulnerability, especially to a man, was almost debilitating. Then he thought of Lydia and what she must have felt every day after finding out about Brett’s cancer. How had she had the courage to face each day knowing that she was going to lose him in the end? His respect for her grew even deeper as he tried to put himself in her shoes. She was truly a tower of strength and she’d tried to share that with him tonight, but he’d pushed her away.

He’d been struggling to control his emotions, what with Chris being a mess. Then Lydia had walked in and he’d been so fucking grateful to see her standing there—his calm in the middle of the storm. But instead of it making him stronger, he’d been horrified to discover that he was on the verge of tears. And at that moment, he couldn’t imagine anything more embarrassing than breaking down right there in front of her, Chris, and the strangers in the waiting room. Men just didn’t do that. Hell, he’d never seen his father cry a day in his life. He’d been coached from a young age that males were the backbone, the strength. His mother loved being taken care of in that way. He suspected it made her feel special. The only way Jacob had known how to deal with the sudden onset of emotion was to shut down. And that had been a lot easier to do with Lydia looking at him with those beautiful eyes, full of concern.

After they’d seen Casey, he’d all but insisted that she go home. He’d hurt her for the second time tonight; he knew that. First, he’d acted like a coward and an asshole when she’d told him she loved him, and then he’d excluded her from something she was very much a part of. He was making a mess of a relationship in his life that he so very much wanted to work. But a part of him was afraid to face how important Lydia had become to him in a very short amount of time.

Casey shifted in her sleep, pulling her hand out of his, and he had to fight the urge to grab it back. He resisted and settled back into his less than comfortable chair. He put his feet on the bedrail and laid his head back. Not exactly like being in his own bed, but it would have to do. He let his mind wander back to his earlier conversation with Lydia. She loves me, he thought. He waited for the anxiety to strike again—but it was strangely absent this time. Had it taken the fear of something horrible happening to the girl he’d thought was the only love of his life to make him see there were actually two of them now?

He’d been physically attracted to Lydia from the start of things. And even soon after they’d returned from Vegas, when she’d doggedly continued to mention getting a divorce, he’d pushed the subject away time and again. At that time, he was convinced he was doing it for his own gain, even though he’d been genuinely moved by her sorrow over the loss of her fiancé.

Now, he wasn’t so sure. Chris had backed down from her threats even though he was still pursuing joint custody of Casey. The court system was so backlogged it would take some time for his case to be heard, but Chris knew that he fully intended to go through with it. Yet he had no desire to divorce his wife. Actually, he couldn’t stand the thought of it.

Perhaps he wasn’t ready to accept that he’d wanted her for his very own that night because he’d been captivated from their first meeting. He had been upset about Chris’s demands, but he’d never been one to rush into big decisions without a lot of thought, and he was beginning to realize that he’d thrown his whole rulebook away with Lydia.

It might have been lust at first sight in that parking garage, but listening to her talk about losing her fiancé at the table in Vegas and seeing the tears well in those beautiful eyes had touched something deep inside him. He’d wanted to be the man to give her everything she longed to have. As crazy as it sounded, could he have loved her all along, from the very first night they shared? He damn sure couldn’t bear the thought of losing her. Just thinking of coming home at the end of the day to an empty house again was unthinkable.

Running a hand over his face, he accepted what he should have already acknowledged. He was in love with his wife, and he no longer questioned whether or not he wanted their marriage to be temporary. Shit, he hadn’t looked at another woman since he’d met her. He’d put it down to a hectic work schedule and spending time with Casey, but that had certainly never slowed him down before. No, the simple fact was he hadn’t wanted anyone else. A part of him had known from the start that she was it for him. The rest of him had just needed the time to catch up and the courage to admit the truth. Son of a bitch, I love Lydia.

With that revelation, everything seemed to fall into place for him, and he felt a peace he’d never known. He hadn’t been looking for it nor expecting it, but wasn’t that how the best things in life happened? He glanced at his daughter. She was one such surprise and had shown him that he had a capacity to love that he’d never imagined he could possess.

He reached for his phone, eager to speak to Lydia, and then realized it was after two in the morning. Didn’t he owe her something better than a late-night phone call when he admitted the depth of his feelings for her? Tomorrow, when Chris arrived, he’d go home to his wife and ask her what she was doing for the rest of her life. He hoped that answer still included him.