59. CASSANDRA

Carson and I don’t speak on the ride up in the elevator, which is okay. There’s not a lot left to say right now, really.

We waited at the Brighton Beach house until the Company cleanup team arrived. My father was more than happy to dispatch them, once I’d explained what happened to us.

I’ve done this many times in my career, so it’s second nature to me. For the others… well, they had a lot of processing to do. You can’t go through something like that and not be fundamentally changed by it, even if you know in your heart that you only did what you had to do.

Dad assured me that the Company wouldn’t have a problem with two players like Bogdan and Anna being taken off the board. Minimal questions. All he asked in return for helping me was that I visit him and Mom in Virginia next week to talk about my life.

I’m not sure that’s a better fate than what Anna had in store for me, if I’m being honest.

A blue light inside the elevator glows as we reach the top floor. Then the doors open, and I forget to breathe for a full ten seconds.

It’s the most spectacular apartment I’ve ever seen. The floor-to-ceiling windows, the marble floors, the crystal light fixtures hanging from the twelve-foot ceilings. The art on the walls: Picasso, Matisse, Pollock, Warhol.

“It’s stunning,” I say. It’s the only word I can think of.

Carson smiles. “Would you like a tour?”

“Now? Don’t be stupid.”

I reach down and grab the hem of my dress, pulling it up and over my head in a single movement. Then I jump onto him and wrap my limbs around his body like a four-armed octopus, my heart pounding.

My mouth is mashed against his so hard it’s almost painful.

He grabs hold of my back and reciprocates, twisting his fingers into my hair.

“I was so scared,” he breathes in my ear. “When I realized what was happening. And then I saw Anna, what she was going to do…”

“Shhhh. It’s over.”

“I couldn’t lose you. Not again. I would have given everything I had not to.”

“I know,” I whisper.

He carries me down the opulent hallway into a bedroom that’s easily three times the size of my apartment. He drops me gently on the bed before ripping off his shirt and sliding off his shorts.

Our lovemaking is urgent. Not like the night at the Regent; that was pure desire. This is something else, something deeper. Assuring each other that we’re still here. That everything is okay. That we’re together.

Carson reaches behind me and unclasps my bra, freeing my breasts to brush against the skin of his chest. I don’t ever want to get used to that feeling of his skin on mine; I want it always to be as new and thrilling as it is now.

I pull off my own panties and lie back on the bed, pulling him down on top of me.

“Carson,” I moan as his lips find my neck.

“I love you, Cassie,” he whispers in my ear.

Hot tears squirt from the corner of my eyes. I never though I could ever feel like this. I never understood what life could be like. A whole new world is opening for me.

“I love you, Carson,” I whisper back. “God, I love you so much.”

With the words comes a new urgency. He presses his body hard into mine, and I open my legs wide for him. No foreplay, no athletic sex games, no furious passion.

Just the unyielding need to become one.

I hold my breath as his hard shaft enters me. His strokes are slow at first, our bodies still gripped together, our mouths and tongues locked on each other. Neither of us wants to let go, even for a moment.

Then the urgency builds, and his thrusts become deeper. We disengage from kissing and I place my chin on his shoulder. Soon he’s driving harder, faster. I wrap my arms tight around his neck and my legs around his waist, matching each stroke with a lift of my own.

“I love you,” I pant as my orgasm builds. “I love you I love you I love you I love you.”

I grit my teeth as the pleasure wave crashes into me, lifting me into a stratosphere where Carson and I float together, melded into one, drifting toward infinity.

We lie together like that, still in each other’s grip, for several long moments. It wasn’t our usual gymnastics, but we’re both spent as if it was. Our breathing finally slows and we separate, lying face to face.

His gray eyes scan me all over, as if checking for damages.

“I’ve never said those words to anyone,” I say. I know his answer can’t be the same, but I want him to understand.

“Neither have I,” he says.

My eyes go round.

“Really?” I ask. The words sound childlike to my own ears.

“Really. I won’t lie, Cass – I’ve taken a lot of women to bed. But I’ve never been in love. Unless you count our time in high school.”

“I don’t know if we understood what love was back then,” I say. “But I do now. It’s having someone who sees you for who you really are, and wants you, not in spite of it, but because of it.”

He kisses my ear.

“That’s exactly how I feel,” he says. “You know who I really am, not the face I put on for the world.”

We lie there in silence for a while.

“I’ve never had anyone to worry about me,” I say. “Let alone someone willing to give up billions of dollars for me. It’s still processing.”

“Don’t forget,” he says. “I punched a girl for you, too. Twice. That’s not something I go around doing for just anyone.”

I snort a giggle. “High five on that one, babe.”

We kiss slowly, leisurely.

“There’s something I need to ask you,” I say after a while. “Something really important.”

I look around the room. It makes the suite at the Regent on our first night together look like a Motel 6.

He props himself on an elbow and looks me in the eye.

“Of course,” he says. “Anything.”

“Can I move in here?” I ask. “Because, seriously, babe, this place is just fucking sick.”