24. SARA

God, this feels soooo incredible.

I’m on fire down there as I feel Chance’s shaft between my legs for the first time. It’s so much better than I imagined it would be – the connection, the look of pleasure on his face, the delicious ache of desire all through me.

I take his hands in mine as they gently squeeze my breasts. As soon as I do, he pulls me down to him and engulfs my mouth with his again. His cock jerks and flexes against my lower lips through the thin satin of my panties while his hands slide down and under the fabric to grab my ass.

What have I been missing all this time? Why have I waited so long for this?

“Chance,” I moan. “I want you so much…”

My hips are moving with a mind of their own now, grinding my wet crotch harder against his shaft. Beneath me I can feel his body start to tremble as he lets go of my ass and grabs my arms.

“Oh, Sara,” he grunts. “I can’t… I can’t hold back…”

It feels so right… so right…

I gasp at the sudden hot wetness against my panties and lower belly. My eyes snap open and see Chance’s twisted face and the droplets running down his abdomen.

And suddenly I’m hit with a wave of vertigo that threatens to drown me.

You touched his thing, Sara.Smack. I told you what would happen if you touched his thing. Smack.And now look what’s happened.It’s spurted its devil seed all over you. Smack. Pray with me, Sara. Beg the Lord for His forgiveness. Smack.

The voice of my mother in my head is like a ghost in the room with us, and I can feel the sharp agony of each lash of the belt against my thighs as if it’s happening again right now.

“Sara?” Chance whispers, alarmed. “Sara, I’m sorry. Are you all right?”

I can feel myself trembling but I’m powerless to stop it. Everything was so good, but now I feel like I’m going to vomit.

Damn you, Mom. Even dead, you still torture me.

I swallow hard and manage to open my eyes.

“I’m fine,” I lie. “This was just… unexpected.”

“Yeah,” he pants. “For me too. Do you... do you want to…?”

“I think I should go,” I say, climbing off him.

Suddenly the feeling of being naked in front of him is mortifying, when just a few moments ago it felt like the ultimate freedom. God, I’m so fucked up!

I wriggle into my bra and gather up my dress, trying not to seem frantic. Chance pulls on his shorts and zips me up without being asked.

“I really am sorry,” I say. “Tonight was…”

“Yeah,” he says. “It was.”

“But it’s just not…”

“Not the right time,” he says. “I get it. It’s okay.”

I kick into my shoes and grab my purse from the nightstand.

“Let me call my driver to take you home,” he says.

“It’s fine, I’ll just catch a cab. There should be plenty on North Wayne at this time of night.”

He throws on a robe as I speed-walk to the bedroom door.

“At least let me see you out,” he says, ever the gentleman.

We walk downstairs in silence. As we reach the front door, he takes my arm and pulls me close.

“I hope you don’t regret tonight, Sara. I don’t.”

The demons in my mind are chanting unspeakable things to me about touching his thing, but I manage to wrestle them back long enough to speak.

“I don’t regret it,” I say, laying a hand on his cheek. “I’m just a little… confused. Can you understand that?”

“Of course.”

“Can we take it slow?”

Chance takes my hand from his cheek and kisses it.

“Absolutely.”

I flash a smile that I hope doesn’t look as strained as it feels and say good night. He stands in the doorway and watches until I flag down a cab and ride away into the night.

I’m not even a block from Chance’s house before my phone starts to warble in my purse. I pull it out, expecting Chance’s number to show up on the screen. I don’t know what I’ll say to him.

But it’s not him. It’s Quentin Pearce.

Shit.

I briefly consider letting it go to voicemail before finally hitting the answer button. I can’t afford to screw things up any more than I may have already.

“Quentin,” I say. “Kind of late, isn’t it?”

“Money never sleeps,” he quips. “Have you got an update for me yet?”

“I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but so far, there’s nothing. Atlas is a paragon of virtue.”

“I know that much,” he grumbles. “It’s Chance Talbot I need the dirt on.”

“I haven’t found anyone who wouldn’t take a bullet for him so far. I’m beginning to think whatever rumors you’re hearing are just that – rumors.”

“I didn’t hire you to chase a wild goose for a month, I hired you to find Talbot’s Achilles heel. If you can’t do that, maybe I need to cancel your contract right now and find someone who can.”

I cringe. This whole situation is getting out of control, but without that money, Grace and I might not even be able to keep our doors open. I don’t have a choice here.

“I’m getting closer,” I blurt. “I just need to find the right person to talk.”

“You better,” he says. “Taking over Atlas isn’t enough here – I can buy the Sullivans’ shares, but as long as Talbot still has a significant amount of stock, I won’t be able to do what I need to do with the company. So get me results.”

As usual, he indicates the conversation is over by hanging up.

I sigh as I rest my head against the cab window and watch the downtown lights fly by. I thought life was confusing enough before I answered that first call from Pearce a few days ago. Now I realize that I didn’t even know the half of it.

What the hell am I going to do now?