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Game On Askole (Coletti Warlords) by Gail Koger (3)

Chapter Two

Presto! Voss and I teleported to the parking lot of Old Tucson theme park.

A stagecoach came barreling down the dirt road with a bunch of Apache warriors on horseback chasing it. Gotta say their cotton leggings, leather breechcloths, and war cries were realistic. “Welcome to the Wild, Wild West.”

Voss queried, “What is smeared on their faces?”

“It’s called war paint.”

The stagecoach driver cracked a whip over the horses’ heads while the guard fired an old Winchester rifle at the Apaches. Boom. Boom. Boom.

An Apache warrior tumbled off his horse and played dead.

A bugle sounded as the cavalry charged to the rescue, pursuing the Apaches down Main Street and out into the desert. The thrilled spectators cheered loudly.

Voss watched in fascination. “This is an accurate depiction of your history?”

“Yup. Pretty much.” And I had a bridge I could sell him too.

“Interesting.” With a death grip on my arm, Voss ushered me down the wooden walkway toward the stables. Through the saloon’s bat-wing doors, I caught a brief glimpse of two women performing the cancan on a stage. The men seemed to be enjoying the show. A lot. Or maybe it was the cold beer. I could sure use one about now.

Voss came to an abrupt stop, and I could sense him using his awesome mental abilities to scan the area for Sam.

Good thing he didn’t know Sam could camouflage her aura. To most Coletti hunters, she appeared to be a normal human. Then it hit me. Shit! The Overlord had mentally linked with her too. I knew he was incredibly powerful, but wow. He could track her from the other side of the galaxy?

One of the gunslingers shouted, “The undertaker will be puttin’ you in a pine box, Sheriff.” Bang. Bang. Bang. The actors shot it out. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.

The tourists’ attention was so focused on the reenactment of the shootout at the O.K. Corral, they didn’t pay any attention to us. C’mon, how could anyone fail to notice an armed-to-the-teeth, six-foot-eight Coletti warlord who reeked of skunk and vomit?

An elderly woman standing next to a badly sunburned geriatric male in a loud Hawaiian print shirt finally looked around and wrinkled her nose. “Do you smell that, Herbert?”

Herbert’s gaze froze on Voss. He frowned, took off his thick glasses, and vigorously cleaned them.

“Smells like a skunk upchucked. Did you hear me, Herbert?”

“Yes, dear.” Herbert put his glasses back on and gaped. “Coletti.”

“No. Skunk.”

The shootout stopped abruptly. The last villain clutched his chest and crumpled to the ground. The audience clapped enthusiastically.

“Coletti!” Herbert shouted, pointing at Voss.

Everyone turned to stare at the Battle Commander. I guess they had never seen a Coletti up close and personal. No one screamed or ran for their lives. Nope, the dimwits just stood there gawking.

One awestruck teenage girl asked, “Can I take a selfie with you?”

“No.” Voss bared his fangs menacingly. “Leave. Now.”

No one moved until the smell hit them. A man hollered, “Good God, they had a run-in with a drunk skunk.” The crowd backed up a couple of feet.

“Gee, what a shame. Your plan isn’t working.” Snark was my middle name.

Voss shrugged. “My warriors will be here shortly.”

Yippee.

The old lady called, “Tomato juice will take care of the stench.”

I threw up my left hand in disgust. “He’s a warlord, not some kind of goddamned superstar.”

“They saved us from the Tai-Kok. They’re heroes,” the old lady spouted reverently and held her camera out to me. “Can you take our picture with the warrior?”

“No! I won’t. Our military saved you, not them. The Coletti haven’t shot down one single Tai-Kok or Rodan vessel since they’ve been in orbit.”

“Not true!” a heavy-set man shouted. “Just last week, two Tai-Kok ships were destroyed.”

“By me.” I thumped my chest. “A Siren. You know, Sirens, the psychics that keep the aliens from eating you? God, you’re all ignorant fools.”

A blonde wearing skimpy cutoffs and a halter-top yelled at Voss, “I heard you’re looking for real women.” She thrust out her DD breasts. “Here I am. Take me.”

I rolled my eyes. Nothing about her was real.

An armored Coletti shuttle landed next to the railroad station. Four heavily armed warriors walked down the landing ramp with tracking scanners.

Crap. The reinforcements were early.

The sheriff, a Kevin Costner lookalike, strode toward us with a Winchester rifle in his left hand. His spurs jingled with every step he took. He came to an abrupt halt and backed up a good ten feet. His gaze roved over my orange jumpsuit before fixing on Voss. “I’m Sheriff Benson. Are you expecting some kind of trouble? No alerts have been issued.”

I’ll be damned. Hank Benson, the creator of Earth First. What a perfect cover.

“Evacuate Old Tucson immediately,” Voss instructed.

Hank shook his head. “No can do. Only the military has the authority to issue an evacuation order.”

“Earth is under Coletti control, and you will do as I command,” Voss snapped.

I put my two cents in. “Unfortunately, the Battle Commander is right. The military does answer to him.” I gestured at my jumpsuit. “The traitorous bastards handed me over without a second thought. You might want to keep that Winchester handy. You’ll need it when the Tai-Kok come back.”

“Be quiet, Sarah,” Voss growled.

“The truth hurts, doesn’t it?” I winced when Voss tightened his grip.

“I still need to check in with Central Command, or they’ll shut us down,” Hank insisted. He had the good-old-boy act down pat.

With an audible snap of his teeth, Voss released my arm and pushed several icons on his communications bracelet.

General Georgina Tasker’s ugly face filled Voss’s vid screen. Her black hair was pulled into a hideous bun. “What can I do for you, Battle Commander?”

Her abrasive voice grated on my nerves. I truly hated her.

“Issue an evacuation order for Old Tucson,” Voss stated.

“Consider it done.” The screen went black.

“Not real talkative, is she? Ever consider if the General would betray her own people, she’ll do the same to you? Once a traitor, always a traitor.”

The Battle Commander stared at me for a long moment. “A valid point.”

Hank’s sat phone beeped. He answered it. “Yes, General. A chemical leak? Not a problem. Right away, ma’am.” He disconnected and tapped an icon on his phone.

The air raid siren blared.

The tourists quickly began scanning the sky and produced a variety of weapons from purses, fanny packs, and ankle holsters.

Voss bellowed, “Why are you using the air raid siren?”

“What?” Hank put a hand to his ear. “Can’t hear ya.”

“Turn it off!” Voss yelled louder.

“What?”

It was all I could do to keep from laughing. Hank was alerting his people to the Coletti warriors invading Old Tucson.

The Battle Commander grabbed Hank’s sat phone and jabbed at the air siren icon.

Silence fell.

“Why did you turn on the air raid siren?” Voss was more than a bit annoyed.

Hank surveyed Voss like he was a dumb ass. “To make sure they’ll listen up.”

“You succeeded. Now evacuate the town.”

“Yes, sir.” Hank turned on his microphone. “Folks.” The loudspeakers emitted an ear-shattering squeal.

Everyone flinched. Several children burst into tears, and coyotes howled in the distance.

Voss’s left eye twitched, and if looks could kill, Hank would be a dead man.

The sheriff fumbled with the microphone controls for a moment. The squealing finally stopped. “Sorry about that, folks. It seems we have a chlorine leak and we need y’all to move to the far west parking lot.”

There were a lot of groans, but everyone complied with the sheriff’s instructions.

Hank motioned to his two deputies. They quickly started ejecting slow-moving tourists from the stores. He turned his attention back to Voss. “Anything else I can do for you, Battle Commander?”

Voss held out his communication device. Sam’s picture was on the vid screen. “Have you seen this female?”

The sheriff took a long look and shook his head. “Can’t say I have. If y’all will excuse me, I’ve got to get those dogies moving along.” With a tip of his hat, he walked off.

The Battle Commander raised an inquiring eyebrow. “Dogies?”

“Cattle. He’s referring to the people as cattle,” I explained.

“An odd description.”

“Not really.” I rubbed my abused arm and eyed a brass spittoon. It would make a great weapon.

Voss snorted. “It will take more than a piece of flimsy metal to render me senseless.”

Kaboom! The Coletti shuttle erupted in a ball of flames. Flaming debris rained down on frontier town. Plunk. Bang. Bang. Thunk. Thop.

My cousin Sam was the undisputed queen of bomb making.

Tourists shrieked and ran for cover as flaming bits of metal pelted them.

“Your cousin will be held responsible for this,” Voss roared.

“We’re at war. What did you expect?”

“We are not at war with your planet.” Voss’s eyes were cold with menace.

“News flash. The Jones clan declared war on all Coletti invaders.”

Boom! A propane tank blew up, sending shards of metal rocketing in every direction.

A chunk of the tank hit the saloon’s hanging sign, knocking it loose. It swung down. Thwap! The metal hit Voss in the back of the head. He toppled over like a pole-axed steer.

“Consider yourself rendered senseless.”

Someone shouted, “Tai-Kok! The Tai-Kok are attacking!”

Everyone totally freaked and charged toward the underground bunkers located beneath the Gilded Lily whorehouse, which, unfortunately, was on fire.

The tourists were going to get themselves crispy fried. Using my mind control powers, I herded them toward the parking lot. “Run as fast as you can. Get in your cars and go home,” I ordered mentally.

Except for a few people with natural shields, the tourists obediently ran for the parking lot.

A young Coletti warrior stepped into the street and shouted, “Halt, humans!”

The crowd simply went around him.

I did a fist pump. “Ha! They’re under my control. Beat that, you not-so-scary warlord.”

“Halt, humans!” the warrior shouted again.

A madder-than-hell middle-aged woman yelled back, “You bloody, goddamned alien freak. The only thing you’re eatin’ today is lead!” She yanked a sawed-off shotgun from her rather large purse and started blasting away at the warrior.

The pellets pinged off the warrior’s battle suit.

Oh my God! She was going to get herself killed. Before I could react, the Coletti warrior teleported behind the woman and yanked the shotgun away.

The woman fainted. The warrior slung her over his shoulder and teleported.

A big black guy armed with a TEC-9 pistol fired wildly at the spot the warrior had been seconds before.

I ducked behind a wooden Indian as bullets whizzed by. I needed to find Sam and make a run for the border.

Another explosion rocked the shuttle.

A burning seat crashed into the roof of the train station. The wooden shingles caught fire. Whoosh! Flames flared, golden and greedy. I gaped in astonishment as the inferno raced along the rooftops of Old Tucson. Oh, crap. One of the last remnants of the Wild West was about to become history, and not in a good way.

“Behind you, Sarah,” a female voice called.

I spun around. An Apache princess on a big brown horse galloped toward me.

“Sam?”

“Who the hell do you think would be riding to your rescue? Godzilla?”

My grandmother called Sam her little hellion. Her sweet, innocent, girl-next-door looks were the perfect camouflage for her not so benign nature. My cousin had been part of Central Command’s mobile response team before they turned on us.

Sam didn’t deal well with betrayal. Her now ex-boyfriend, Jed, turned her over to the military police without blinking an eye. Sam quickly escaped custody and blew up Jed’s pride and joy, a ’68 canary-yellow Mustang. Sucks to be him.

Sam held her hand out. “C’mon, Barbie, move it. The Coletti have called for more reinforcements.”

I grabbed her hand and swung up behind her. Ever since she was eight years old, Sam had been calling me Barbie. She said I was the spitting image of her favorite doll. As if.

“Oh my God!” Sam made a gagging noise. “Did Aunt Tess summon a skunk?”

“She did.” I hung on for dear life as the horse jumped over a ditch and raced out into the desert. “The Coletti have captured Jake, Caleb, Ethan, and Quinn.”

“What? How did they find them?”

“The Overlord has been in all of our heads. We can run, but we can’t hide from him.”

“Fuck.”

A glittering blue light blossomed in front of us.

Sam gasped. “What the hell?”

“Force field maybe,” I cried.

With a frightened whinny, the horse skidded to a complete stop.

The light faded, and a seven-foot-tall medieval knight, complete with black horned helmet and armor, stood there.

The horse took one look the knight and started bucking. I flew off and landed on a prickly brush. “Yeow!”

Sam sailed over the horse’s head and crashed into the knight. He, she, or it just stood there. The black armor seemed to absorb the light until all we saw was its glowing yellow eyes.

“Sonvabitch! That smarts.” I yanked a thorn out of my ass and very carefully climbed to my feet. Was the knight in cahoots with the Tai-Kok or the Coletti? Either way, it was bad for us.

Sam stared up at the knight and asked mentally, “Am I seeing things, or is that a medieval English knight?”

“It does look like one, but medieval knights don’t carry laser pistols. It’s alien. Got any weapons?”

“A knife. You?”

“Nope.” I eyed the knight. “That armor looks pretty heavy. We should be able to outrun him.”

“My thoughts too.” Sam got to her feet.

A deep growly voice asked in my head, “Do you belong to the Jones clan?”

I said out loud, “Oh my God, it’s talking to me, Sam.”

“Me too, and psychically.”

“The vibes I’m getting from it are definitely male.” Goose bumps skittered over my skin. It was like my entire body was being stroked with a feather. “And he’s horny,” I added.

“You think he’s looking for Kaylee?”

I shrugged. “Who knows?”

The knight pushed an emblem on his gauntlet. The helmet shrank away, revealing an alien nightmare. Tentacles squirmed about his snakelike features. His black skin had armor-plated scales. He cocked his head to one side and bared some evil-looking fangs.

“Is that a smile?”

“Could be. I think he’s trying to look friendly,” my cousin said incredulously.

“Friendly?” I chortled. “That smile would send most sensible people running for their lives.”

“Yup. Good thing we aren’t sensible.”

The alien’s red forked tongue slithered over his lips.

We both took a step back. Sam pulled her knife. “If he tries to eat us, I’m slitting his throat.”

The knight’s compelling yellow eyes studied us as he asked again, “Do you belong to the Jones clan?”

Sam sidestepped the question with one of her own, “Who are you?”

“I am called Tihar.”

I could see why Voss had picked him to be my interrogator. Tihar was damn scary looking. “He’s working with the Coletti,” I told Sam and switched to mind talk, “You’re an Askole?”

“I am,” Tihar said proudly.

I casually glanced around for something I could use as a weapon. Nothing but rocks and cactus. “What do you want?”

“I seek females from the Jones clan.” The Askole suddenly picked Sam up.

My cousin stabbed him in the neck with her tactical knife. The blade didn’t even break the skin.

Tihar disarmed Sam and sniffed her. “You smell like Kaylee. Do you share her talent in bed sport?”

“What? No!” Sam squawked in outrage.

Good God, Kaylee’s mental broadcast of her bedroom activities had the entire male population of the galaxy wanting their own hot-to-trot Jones female.

“Hey, knock it off, you pervert.” Sam smacked wildly at the tentacle slithering over her chest. “How do you know Kaylee?”

“We had many adventures on the planet Roma.” Tihar dropped Sam and reached for me.

I ducked under his outstretched arm and took refuge behind a Saguaro cactus. “You do not want to smell me.”

Moving faster than the eye could follow, Tihar zoomed around the cactus and scooped me up. I gasped as he stuck his nose in my armpit.

Tihar inhaled, and his tentacles stood straight up. “Gak. You stink worse than Davit blood worms.”

“I do, don’t I?” I couldn’t resist touching Tihar’s face. His skin kinda felt like a rattlesnake’s. Dry and scaly. “Put me down. C’mon, big guy, I don’t like being manhandled.” One of Tihar’s tentacles stung my neck. “Ow!”

“Clever little female, you are disguising your scent.” His tentacle crawled down the front of my jumpsuit. “You are a Jones female with fine breasts.”

Shit! It was like being groped by an octopus. I gripped the silky tentacles and yanked them off my breasts. “On Earth, you don’t put your hands on a woman without permission.”

“Askole mating rituals allow us to touch a chosen female.” A tentacle caressed my face. “So soft.” Without any warning, Tihar spun me upside down and jammed his face in my crotch.

Sam had the gall to laugh. “Is that romance Askole style?”

God, I hoped not. I punched him in the jaw and shouted mentally, “Stop that!” I rubbed my knuckles. Damn. It was like hitting a brick wall.

The Askole flipped me around. “How else am I to determine if you are fertile?”

“A medical scanner,” I retorted and swatted at another tentacle. “Why do you need to know if I’m fertile?”

“I am looking for a strong female to mate with.”

Oh, hell no. I squirmed frantically. “Put. Me. Down. Now!”

“I will offer three times the bride price for you and the other female.”

“No! We are not for sale,” Sam yelled.

Tihar totally ignored her. “Who is the head of your clan?”

“The Overlord. Release her,” Voss growled. Blood covered the left side of his face.

Oh, thank God. I couldn’t believe how happy I was to see the Battle Commander. Voss, on the other hand, looked like he wanted to throttle me. It wasn’t my fault he forgot to duck.

“I came to this world to find and claim a Jones female. You will not stop me,” Tihar bellowed.

“You can have a Jones female. But not these two. Give Sarah to me.” Voss bared his fangs.

I shot Voss a venomous glare. “You’re giving away Jones women like prizes now? Become our allies and win a hot-to-trot mate?”

“I will fight you for Sarah.” Tihar’s gaze was full of deadly resolve.

Sam rolled her eyes. “Should have known. Testosterone is universal.”

Seizing handfuls of Tihar’s tentacles, I jerked them as hard as I could. “Hey! I’m a warrior. I have killed over eight hundred Tai-Koks in battle. You will treat me with the respect I deserve.” I gave him my best batshit crazy stare. “Got it?”

“Yes, lady warrior.”

“Put me down.” To my utter surprise, Tihar obeyed. I eased away from him.

“I will give the Overlord four times the bride price for this one. She is worthy to be my mate.”

“Lucky, Sarah,” Sam quipped.

Out of nowhere, Rho popped in, seized Sam, and poof. They were gone.

Damn. That was one sneaky move.

His gaze never leaving the Askole, Voss commanded in his perfect English, “Come to me, Sarah.”

I willingly took a step toward the Battle Commander.

Tihar’s enormous armored hand clamped down on my shoulder. “I have claimed this one.”

“Like hell you have,” I snarled. “Let go of me or I will hurt you.”

The Battle Commander tensed and bellowed, “Do not attack Tihar, Sarah. It will signal your interest in mating with him.”

“What? You’re joking? Right?”

“I am not,” Voss responded.

A cackling laugh broke from Tihar. “She has already struck me.”

Voss spat something that sounded like a curse word. “Do you know what you have done?”

“He was sniffing my crotch,” I yelled in exasperation.

Tihar taunted Voss. “The mating dance has begun, and not even the Overlord can stop it.”

“No! It hasn’t,” I interjected. “I’m human, and your rules don’t apply to me.”

“Your world is now part of the Coletti Empire. The Battle Commander knows our customs and failed to properly protect you. As a warrior, you can challenge me to combat.” Tihar’s rather toothy grin was alarming. “Do you dare duel with me?”

I opened my mouth to respond.

Tihar bellowed a terrifying war cry.

“Mwah-hah-hah.” I bellowed back and gave myself a mental head whack. I had watched that minion movie with my five-year-old cousin way too many times.

Voss and Tihar stared at me in utter disbelief.

“What was that?” Voss’s mouth twitched as if he was struggling not to laugh.

Putting on my best poker face, I replied, “My battle cry. Why?”

“The purpose of a war cry is to frighten your enemies. Not reduce them to laughter,” Voss answered.

“I’m a fighter pilot. I seldom engaged in hand-to-hand combat.”

“As my mate, you will need a proper war cry,” Tihar announced.

“Thanks, but I’ve got one. Now prepare to get your ass kicked. Mwah-hah-hah.”

Tihar’s tentacles curled tightly. “It is foolish to think you can beat me, lady warrior. Surrender now.”

My temper flared to life. “Surrender? Not in this lifetime.”

“Think hard before you challenge me.” Tihar touched his gauntlet, and his armor simply shrank away. “Do you think you can subdue me?” He stood perfectly still, allowing me to inspect him.

Not a chance in hell, which was why I planned on cheating. A sigh escaped me. Tihar’s torso was sculpted perfection. Thick muscles corded his arms and legs. Who knew black scales could be sexy?

Another tap, and Tihar was completely nude. “Can you refuse this?”

My eyes bugged as I stared at Tihar’s super-duper hard-on. Holy cow! Askole had humanlike penises, humongous balls, and no pubic hair. Huh? Would you look at that? Even his man parts had scales. I linked with Sarah. “Get a load of this.”

“Kinda busy. Talk later.”

“Okay, but Tihar is hung like a bull elephant.”

Voss threw his hands up in disgust. “Quit staring at his body. You are only encouraging him, Sarah.”

“He is an eyeful.”

“I am also a master of the thousand delights,” Tihar proclaimed.

Voss crossed his arms and declared, “The only way to become a master is to have had sex with a thousand females.”

“You’re a man-whore?” Had to admit I was a bit disappointed.

“No, a teacher. I have taught many females in the pleasure houses these techniques.” Tihar held out his hand. “Surrender, and I will begin your lessons.”

“How about I teach you a little-known fact?”

Tihar’s tentacles flared warily. “What would that be?”

“Never underestimate a Jones.” Reaching out with my mind, I mentally grasped Tihar’s balls and twisted them viciously. “We might be small, but we make up for it in pure meanness.”

The Askole let out a wheezing gasp and dropped to his knees. “She is a cunning and ferocious female.”

“Without a doubt,” Voss agreed. “Know this. All females of Kaylee Jones’s lineage have been pledged to Coletti warriors. Taking Sarah will violate the treaty your father signed with the Overlord. Do you wish to start a war?”

“Sarah is mine.” Tihar’s voice was a still a bit raspy.

I tightened my grip. “I belong to no one. If—or when—I decide to mate with a male, it will be my choice. I won’t be forced.”

“There are many benefits to being my mate. I am the commander of my father’s western battle fleet. I have never been defeated. My holdings are vast, and you will be one of the wealthiest females in the Askole Empire. Plus, I have much experience in bed sports,” Tihar informed me.

Like that made it all better? Okay, maybe a little. I released Tihar’s balls. “Stay away from me, or next time I will unman you.”

“You did not win the challenge, lady warrior.” Tihar’s armor reappeared like magic, and I didn’t like the determined glint in his yellow eyes.

“Arrgh! You’re an alien. I’m a human. Our parts won’t fit.”

“You think only Colettis can alter DNA?”

Horror rocketed through me. Oh, dear God. Me with black scaly skin and fangs? How did I stop this madness? Could I? One way or another, I would be converted, and when that happened, I would no longer be human. I turned to Voss. “Can Tihar modify my DNA?”

“Yes, but he won’t. His father, the High Commander, will not allow it,” the Battle Commander responded. He grasped me around the waist and teleported.

“Fear not, little warrior, I will come for you.”

With Tihar’s promise still ringing in my head, Voss and I were abruptly standing in a demolished sick bay. A Coletti wearing a medic’s red jumpsuit was sprawled on the floor and appeared to be unconscious.

A scanner whizzed by my head and hit the wall with a loud crash.

Whoa! Aunt Tess had Rho in a headlock and was doing her level best to choke him out.

The Battle Commander tightened his grip until I had trouble breathing.

Samantha ducked Rho’s attempt to grab her and jabbed him in the hand with a pressure injector filled with a sedative. The big Coletti swayed unsteadily on his feet.

Voss pulled his laser pistol and calmly stunned Sam. She collapsed to the floor as violent muscle spasms contorted her body.

Rho fell backward on top of Aunt Tess. Her arms and legs wriggling frantically under his heavy weight. “Help!”

Bastard! I summoned every ounce of psychic power I had and hurled it at Voss.

The Battle Commander grunted and shook his head as if to clear it. “With the proper training, your psychic battle skills will be adequate.”

Adequate? I’d give him adequate. I threw another mental punch.

Voss blocked my blow easily. “The Jones clan’s battle with us is over. You have been defeated.”

“As John Paul Jones once said, ‘I have not yet begun to fight.’”

The Battle Commander’s voice was low and dangerous. “Once we reach Tanith, you will be mated to Lothel, and you become his problem.”

“I think Tihar will have something to say about that,” I blustered.

“The Overlord will never permit that.” Voss picked the pressure injector off the floor and thrust it against my neck. “Now you join your clan in the stasis chambers.”

Everything went black.

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