Chapter Six
I had to admit, Detja was an excellent hostess. If you followed her rules. It seems Quinn, my dumbass cousin, had gone toe to toe with her and lost. He was used to being the most powerful psychic on Earth. Finding out he wasn’t as strong as he thought had dented his considerable ego.
A beer in one hand, my cousin Jake gleefully recalled, “Quinn told Detja he didn’t have to obey her and to go fuck herself.”
Aunt Tess gasped. “Oh, no he didn’t?”
“Oh, but he did.” Jake howled with laughter. “Next thing ya know, Quinn is on knees, unable to move or speak while Detja braided his hair and lectured him on his bad behavior.”
Man, I wish I could have been there to see Quinn taken down a notch. He was a genetic throwback to a Scottish chieftain called the Black Devil, a legendary warrior known for his fierce temper. The best part was, Detja had assigned Quinn to kitchen duty.
The welcome-home party for Talree and Kaylee had been set up on a sunny terrace draped with a bright riot of flowers. In the distance, a silvery waterfall cascaded down the cavern wall. Below the terrace, a flock of pink duck-like birds floated peacefully on the turquoise water. The Coletti city of Mutusca was truly an underground paradise.
Along with the hydrogen peroxide and baking soda, Detja had shipped in all of Kaylee’s favorites from Earth. Tables were laden with a variety of Mexican food, chips, salsa, chocolate, and beer. Talree’s favorites were on another table. Thick steaks that still bled, what looked like fried okra, and weird, bumpy blue fruit.
Caleb, Ethan, and Uncle Derek were helping themselves to the goodies. I sure hoped they had Detja’s permission.
My psychic senses went on alert. Kaylee was close by and upset. I reached out with my mind and linked with her.
Kaylee cried, “We’re fucking brood stock?”
Detja’s answer had my temper flaring. “A crude way to put it, but accurate.”
“It’s not right,” Kaylee protested.
With pure steel in her voice, Detja said, “You need to be strong for your family. You can make the adjustment to our ways easier, or you can watch as they are forced to the Overlord’s will.”
“I’m a fucking Judas goat!” Anguish filled Kaylee’s voice.
I gave Kaylee a mental hug. “Central Command sold us out, not you. You’re not responsible for our capture.”
“I’m not?”
“Get your butt out here, girl,” Sam hollered in our heads. “We’ve got all your favorites.”
I guess the hellion had been bailed out of jail. Again.
Kaylee asked hopefully, “Beer? Chocolate? Chips and salsa?”
“All of it,” Caleb answered.
Detja urged, “Go. Be with your family.”
Kaylee appeared on the terrace.
Damn, she could teleport.
“No one blames you, runt.” Caleb hugged her.
Ethan pried Kaylee loose. “Still got those enlistment papers for you to sign.”
“I’ll sign them, but you get to explain it to my warlord,” Kaylee said with a laugh.
Jake butted in. “I wanna see your fangs.”
“How do you know about my fangs?”
Sam gurgled. “Remember that hot sex you were having with Talree?”
“Oh God.” A blush stained Kaylee’s cheeks.
“You used your fangs to give Talree the orgasm to end all orgasms, and you took all of us along for the ride.” Sam put a hand to her forehead and faked a swoon. “Hoo boy, what a ride.”
“Let’s see them,” Jake ordered in his best cop voice.
Kaylee bared her fangs and allowed everyone to examine them. “Happy?”
“Get to use them yet?” Hey, we all wanted to know that.
“Yeah, took a big chunk out of a Rodan that wanted to eat me.”
“Way to go!” Everyone yelled and clapped loudly.
Aunt Tess did a little jig. “Oorah. Mess with the best and die like the rest.”
Please God, don’t let her do that Irish jig again.
Kaylee glanced around. “Where’s Uncle Saul?”
“Back on Earth, he’s the Overlord’s go-to guy,” Ethan responded.
At Kaylee’s frown, I quickly reassured her. “Uncle Saul can take care of himself.”
“I know he can, but none of this would have happened if I hadn’t linked with Talree.”
I enunciated slowly, “Not. Your. Fault.”
“Sarah’s right. You were just doing your job,” Aunt Tess inserted.
Caleb picked up Kaylee’s arm and examined the tattoo Tihar had gifted her with and the Coletti warrior’s bracelet. “The Battle Commander told us no female has ever received such honors.”
“In the right place at the right time,” Kaylee said modestly.
I handed her a beer. “How much stronger are you?”
She pointed the beer at her brothers. “Strong enough to kick their asses.”
“Tough girl, huh? Bring it,” Quinn challenged, always ready for a fight.
Uncle Derek quickly stepped between them. “Give an old man a hug.”
“Love you too, Uncle Derek,” Kaylee said, holding him tightly. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you guys. I’m so glad you’re all safe.”
“Safe? We are on a fucking alien planet dealing with a bunch of bloodsucking vampires. If you had obeyed orders and come to the bunker, none of this would have happened,” Quinn groused.
Sam punched him in the arm. “Don’t listen to Quinn. He got his ass handed to him, and he’s still sulking.”
“Detja? Right?”
“Yep.” I grinned. “She’s one tough lady.”
“Good thing Quinn didn’t pull that crap with Talree or Zarek,” Kaylee said.
Quinn snarled. “If they can bleed, they can die.”
“Do you have a death wish? They can kill you with a thought. I’ve been in their minds. I know what they can do. How powerful they are. If you don’t believe me, ask Aunt Tess,” Kaylee shot back.
“She right, hon. The Overlord’s power is off the charts.”
Unimpressed, Quinn crossed his arms and glared at Kaylee. “You’ve all been brainwashed. I know I can defeat the Coletti. I just need to find their weakness.”
I felt Kaylee’s flare of temper as she grabbed Quinn’s mind and took him on a mental tour of Talree’s and Zarek’s powers.
“Do you get it now? If you challenge them, you’re a dead man or worse.” Kaylee psychically smacked Quinn. “Is that what you want? To have them take your mind? To lose who you are? What you are?”
A guttural groan tore from Quinn. “No.”
“Let him go, Kaylee,” Aunt Tess calmly insisted. “You’re hurting him.”
Kaylee’s eyes popped open, and she looked in stunned horror at Quinn facedown on the ground. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry. You okay? I’m a lot stronger than I used to be.”
“No shit.” Quinn got to his feet and shook his head sadly. “My little sister is no longer human.”
Jake punched Quinn in the mouth, knocking him down again. “Get your head out of your ass. Kaylee is and always will be our sister. Apologize.”
Wiping the blood off his lips, Quinn slowly stood up. “Sorry. I was out of line.”
Ethan fixed a speculative gaze on Kaylee. “Gotta say, I’m impressed with your new abilities. Think we can amp up too?”
“Without a doubt.” Kaylee tapped her teeth. “How do you feel about fangs?”
“We have to suck their blood?” Horror filled Quinn’s voice.
Kaylee nodded. “Among other things.”
“Other things?” Uncle Derek’s tone was a bit apprehensive.
“The Coletti excrete an enzyme that alters our DNA to match theirs.”
“Old news. Plus, Tihar, the mad Askole, said they can change our DNA too,” I added.
Kaylee gave me a startled look. “You’ve met Tihar?”
“Oh yeah. He has some impressive male parts, and he wants to mate with me.”
“You saw his man parts?” my male relatives bellowed in unison.
Sam chortled. “Got an eyeful. He’s hung like a bull elephant.”
“Wait a minute.” Kaylee grabbed my arm. “Did you say Tihar wants to mate with you?”
“That’s what he said. Of course, the Battle Commander is dead set against it.” I pried at Kaylee’s fingers. “Ease up a bit, will ya?”
She quickly released my arm. “Sorry, I’m still adjusting to all this.”
I embraced Kaylee. “Not a problem. How do you like being a Coletti?”
“It does have some awesome benefits.”
Aunt Tess asked, “Such as?”
“As you all have noticed, I’m a lot stronger. Unless I’m killed, I can live to be a thousand. I’m now immune to the diseases that plague our planet, and if I’m injured, I heal quickly. And…my personal favorite. Teleporting.”
Ethan fired off, “What’s teleporting like? Is it hard to learn? If you screw up, do you end up buried in a wall? How far can you teleport? Is there a weight limit?”
“Fun. Not really. Yes. How far can a rookie like me teleport? A couple of miles. I’ve teleported about four hundred pounds of dead weight. Like a demo?” Kaylee grinned when everyone nodded.
Ethan grabbed her. “I’m first.”
“Link with me,” Kaylee instructed, and poof, they were gone.
A minute later, they reappeared.
“What a rush,” Ethan exclaimed.
I jumped in front of Caleb. “Ladies first.”
“You’re no lady,” Caleb retorted.
“Nope, never have been.”
“Okay, kids, no fighting.” Kaylee wrapped her arms around me. “We need to talk anyway.”
“We do.” I linked mentally with my cousin. Poof. We appeared in a wooded area.
“Tihar actually said he wants to mate with you?” Kaylee released me and paced around the small clearing.
“He says I’m his chosen.”
“Where did he meet you?”
“On Earth. The Coletti promised Tihar he could have his pick of a Jones female.”
Kaylee threw up her hands in disgust. “Oh, hell no. Tihar is my friend, but I’m putting a stop to this shit.”
“How?”
“I’ll have a come-to-Jesus talk with him.”
“Can I watch? He told Detja he would challenge Lothel for me.”
“Talree won’t let that happen.” Kaylee clasped me to her chest, and presto. We were back on the terrace. My poor cousin ended up giving everyone a ride. After an hour of teleporting to and from the woods, she called it quits.
“No more. You’re wearing me out.”
I handed her a beer. “Take a load off.”
“Are those chips from Popos?”
“They are. Detja went to a lot of trouble for you,” Jake responded.
Kaylee took a chip, dunked it in the salsa, and ate it. “These are the best.” She sank down on a padded chair at the gaily decorated table and drained her beer. “God, I needed that.”
Uncle Derek took the chair next to her. “We aren’t going to have a choice about this conversion, are we?”
“No. It’s a done deal. With or without your cooperation.” Kaylee’s gaze latched on to a bowl of candy-coated chocolate. “Chocolate!” She grabbed a handful and popped them in her mouth, savoring every morsel.
Quinn spat, “I’ll never submit to the Coletti.”
“Shut up and listen for a change,” Kaylee snapped. “The only way to win is to make changes from the inside. Bring a little truth, justice, and the American way to the Coletti.”
“Kaylee has a valid point,” Caleb said. “They think they’re integrating us into their culture, but it’s the other way around. They won’t know what hit them.”
“Exactly.” Kaylee grinned.
I raised my hand. “I hate to be a party pooper, but has anyone told you about Lilkee and her army of fanatics?” I shot everyone images of her warriors.
“Genghis Khan wannabes with pretty red armor and antlers. Don’t look like much of a threat,” Jake joked.
“They call themselves the death bringers,” Aunt Tess added.
I grimaced. “They think we are vile destroyers who will dilute the purity of the Coletti race. Lilkee is also in cahoots with her brother, Malik.”
“The Tai-Kok and Rodan have joined Malik’s axis of evil. Which means Earth is still a target,” Kaylee growled.
“Kaylee’s right. Our first priority is to take down these monsters,” Caleb commented. “We’re gonna have to suck it up and do what’s necessary. Even if it means a set of fangs.”
Quinn erupted to his feet. “Hell, no! There’s got to be another way. I’m not giving up my humanity and becoming a bloodsucking fiend.” He stormed off.
“He’s going to get himself killed,” Kaylee lamented.
Ethan stood up. “We’ll talk to him.”
All the guys trooped after Quinn.
Casey handed Kaylee another beer and waited until she took a long swallow before asking, “What’s Talree’s equipment like? You never shared that detail with us.”
Kaylee spewed beer all over the table. “What?”
Every one of us pasted an expectant look on our faces. We knew a Coletti warrior’s penis was unlike a human male’s, but the chance to rib Kaylee was too good to pass up.
“Well, their man parts are a bit different from our men’s.” Kaylee tugged at her collar. “Works the same. Just different. Like it comes with its own sex toys.”
I hid a grin. “Sex toys?”
“Uh, yeah. The little guys are awesome.” Desire flared to life in Kaylee’s eyes. “I get hot just thinking about them.”
Aunt Tess raised an eyebrow. “C’mon, give us a little show and tell.”
“Okay, here ya go,” Kaylee said with a mischievous smile.
The image of Talree’s nude body formed in my mind. Hoo boy. The man was built.
Sam exclaimed, “He doesn’t have any pubic hair. Where are his balls and his doodad?”
“Wait for it,” Aunt Tess advised.
In our mind eyes, a slit opened in Talree’s abdomen, and out it slid. His penis was snakelike with a fringe of tentacles around the top.
“Are you shittin’ me? Another octopus?” Sam howled with laughter.
Kaylee smacked her in the shoulder. “Hey, I hear ya. Kinda weirded me out too, but if you like orgasms that rock your world, the little guys get it done.”
“You and Talree certainly rocked our world,” Aunt Tess gurgled.
I shook my head. “If Lothel’s snake comes anywhere near me, I’m whacking it off.”
Sam asked, “Want to see Tihar’s big-ass boner?” She flashed a mental picture of Tihar in all his glory.
All my cousins shrieked with laughter. The men’s heads swiveled around to stare at us.
“Girl talk,” I yelled at them. They shuddered and went back to their man talk.
Sam held her hands about two feet apart. “It was huge. I’ve never seen anyone that well hung. Can you image having sex with him?”
I could. Something drew me to Tihar.
“Walking would be a major problem after Tihar impaled you on that sucker,” Aunt Tess muttered to me.
She had a point. I doubted it would fit, but hey, what was life without a little risk? “I wouldn’t mind giving it a shot.”
“Are you blind? Jeezus, Tihar looks like the result of a freaky science experiment gone wrong. I mean, c’mon. Those creepy tentacles?” Sam twitched. “It was like being groped by a freakin’ octopus.”
“And he’s a horny bastard. Kept sniffing my private parts,” Kaylee said with a grimace.
Aunt Tess threw a quick look over her shoulder. “Tihar groped you, and your warlord let him live?”
“I didn’t tell Talree. He’s a bit possessive.”
“Smart move,” Sam agreed.
“You have no idea.” Kaylee fingered the silver band around her neck.
I eyed the band. It had an intricate alien insignia on it. “What is that?”
“An ownership band,” Kaylee blurted out, then took another swallow of her beer and added, “It’s their version of a wedding ring.”
Sam slammed her bottle down. “Ownership? Like we’re property?”
“Coletti women don’t have the same rights as we do,” Kaylee said warily.
“Are you shittin’ me?” Sam rocketed to her feet in outrage. “No fucking way will I allow them to turn me into broodmare. I am an American. I have rights.”
“Duh, did you forget? We aren’t on Earth anymore. There’s no bill of rights here. Women are expected to obey their menfolk, and boy, are they in for a surprise,” I inserted.
Kaylee rubbed her forehead as if she had a raging headache. “Once the warlord does his mojo on you, it’s over.”
“Mojo?” Aunt Tess asked pleasantly, but her eyes glittered dangerously.
“It’s a bit like mind control,” Kaylee responded.
“Mind control?” They could probably hear Sam’s bellow all the way back on Earth.
Detja teleported in. I took one look at her stern, ice-queen demeanor, and groaned. The shit was about to hit the fan.
“Be quiet. Sit down,” Detja commanded with a hard mental push.
Sam dropped down onto her chair like an unstrung puppet. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
I stared at Detja in stunned horror. I couldn’t move or speak either.
“You misunderstand the bonding process.” Detja let her gaze rest on each of us. “Once a warlord has chosen and marked you, there is no escape. When the bond is completed, you will burn for your mate’s touch. Crave it. His body will be a source of comfort and stability. His mental touch will become as necessary as breathing. You will fight for him and with him. You will belong to your mate mind, body, and soul. Forever.”
My internal radar went on full alert. I scanned for the source. “Incoming hostile,” I announced mentally.
“Yes, she comes.” Detja immediately released her hold on us. “Prepare for battle.”
Poof! A tall, stick-thin Coletti female wearing a pointy metal hat and bronze breastplate over a screaming-red body suit appeared on the terrace and surveyed us like we were dog poop she had accidently stepped in.
“Say howdy to Lilkee, the paranoid whack job.” I waved at her all friendly like. “Lookin’ for your death bringers?”
She totally ignored me and drew her sword. Lilkee’s entire focus was on Detja. If looks could kill, Detja would be toes up.
“Lilkee,” Detja said, her voice terse and unfriendly. “Zarek is not here.”
The whack job smirked and stroked the hilt of her gem-encrusted sword. “I know. I came to see the pitiful female your half-breed son has chosen.”
“Half-breed? Pitiful?” Kaylee narrowed her eyes. “One more insult, and that skinny bitch is gonna get her ass kicked.”
“We’ll help,” I said.
Her lips curled in contempt, Lilkee examined Kaylee from head to toe. “You are nothing but a filthy little primitive whose pathetic planet Malik plans to wipe from existence.”
“The only one being wiped from existence is Malik.” Kaylee stood. “If you’re a smart girl, you’ll leave now before I beat the living shit out of you.”
“I am Coletti, daughter of Zarek. You could never defeat me,” Lilkee said proudly.
Kaylee punched her hard in the mouth, knocking her down. “Wanna bet?”
Suddenly, two dozen Genghis Khan wannabes appeared around us.
“Oh, hell.” I grabbed a butter knife off the table.
“Kill them,” the whack job commanded.