Slivers of sunshine filtering through the trees moved across her face and pulled her from the darkness. She opened her eyes to a brilliant profusion of color in shades of bubble-gum pink, lemon yellow, and periwinkle blue. The sudden brightness hurt her eyes, but not enough for her to look away. It made her smile because, unlike the other awakenings—what she called these brief interludes of awareness between the blackness—she knew instantly where she was. Only Primaria had such a topsy-turvy mix of color in nature.

A cool breeze blew through the small copse of trees where she lay. The branches separated as they swayed, and she caught a glimpse of pink sky. Purple-hued wispy clouds drifted by. It was so relaxing, she could stay there all day.

A stronger gust ruffled her hair, sending strands across her cheek. She brushed them away, only to have more blow back, this time into her mouth. Sputtering, she sat up and raked her hand through the mess, gathering it at the back of her head. With it out of the way, she gasped at the sight of her bare legs, exposed where her skirts had blown up to mid-thigh. Another few inches and where her panties should have been, if this crazy planet had such a thing, would have been on display for all and sundry. Obviously, bare was a good deal worse.

While she shoved the skirt hem down her legs, she frowned at the deep-pink material. More like fuchsia, the color clashed with her hair. Like most pinks and reds, the shade wasn’t something she’d have ever chosen for herself.

The gown had little cap sleeves, a fitted bodice, with a floor-length skirt in the typical Primarian style. Nothing odd about it, except she’d never seen it before. She didn’t remember putting it on or recall it in any of her dreams or memories. Come to think of it, she didn’t remember taking a nap outside the entire time she’d been with Ram on Primaria.

So, if not a memory, what was this—a dream, or a new twist on an altered reality?

She glanced around while trying to get her bearings, which usually meant finding dream-Eryn. But she didn’t see her anywhere.

Instead, men milled around in the adjacent field. She blinked, but they didn’t disappear. This left her nothing to do except gape at the one hundred dark-haired, half-naked barbarians standing in the bright afternoon sun no more than a few yards away.

Male shouts and what sounded like battle cries drew her attention to the center of the field. The spectacle unfolding made her jaw drop and her pulse beat faster, heating her blood and, in seconds, negating any coolness the breeze or the shade offered.

She had a hard time thinking beyond the yards of rippling muscle and the miniscule loincloths to determine what they were doing, but it seemed like an odd cross between a medieval tournament and a boxing match. Not the organized kind with padded gloves and referees that had been around for centuries, the kind made popular in later days with bare fists and big bulging men in tight shorts, throwing each other to the ground and trying to beat the crap out of one another. Sometimes in a ring, other times in a metal cage, and more recently in a zero-gravity dome where they grappled for handholds set at intervals in the curved walls and ceiling. All while the bloodthirsty fans yelled for more pain and mayhem.

However, these Primarians fought without an audience and referee, and, instead of a ring of any kind, their forum consisted of nothing more than a field of bright-blue grass. And, these men were twice as big as the most ripped UFC fighter ever thought to be. Their shoulders wider, chests broader and more sculpted, and almost every man there sported defined chiseled abs.

If that wasn’t enough to make her mouth water, what they wore—skimpy loincloths or skintight knee-length pants—revealed more than they concealed, which by her measure at least twenty yards away, had to be some of the biggest bulges she’d ever seen. And one of the biggest among them, both in bulge and the man himself, was the one who called her mate.

The perfect male specimen in a sea of rather impressive men, Ram sparred using a broadsword like a warrior of old, all those bunching, rippling muscles on glorious display, and yards of smooth, sweat-slickened golden skin glistening in the sunlight. Not to mention his tight ass, held snuggly by the painted-on black shorts he wore which only reached to mid-thigh. Damn!

Liquid desire pooled between her thighs, and she could barely keep from slipping her hand beneath the frou-frou dress he made her wear and bring herself to climax while watching his every move. She pulled her gaze away, striving hard to ignore her building need, but failing miserably. She tried taking in the odd colors of the flora which made up this vivid world, except her eyes kept coming back to him, like a magnet to Ram’s pure metal. How could she not stare at this gorgeous, perfect man?

Needing to get away from him or succumb to a spontaneous orgasm in front of everyone, she stood to leave. She needed to think, a near impossible feat with nearly naked men wherever she looked.

“Going somewhere, mate?” Ram’s booming voice from yards away sounded as if he stood right beside her.

Frowning, she glanced behind her, expecting to see dream-Eryn, her alter ego.

“I’m talking to you, little rebel.”

She spun back, her heart pounding, her knees weak with desire. Ram said something to his opponent, the movement making the beads of sweat on his chest gleam in the sun. A droplet trickled down his sternum, bobbed up and down when it traversed the washboard contours of his stomach, and disappeared inside the waistband of his formfitting shorts. Lust turned her mouth dry as dust, and she found her palms with her nails, the biting pain resetting her brain.

“You’re not to leave, Eryn. I believe I mentioned this earlier.” Ram strode across the field toward her.

She blinked, not recalling arriving or any conversation with Ram until waking under the tree. In fact, nothing seemed familiar in this dream, and the oddest thing of all, dream-Eryn, who had always been around, seemed to have vanished.

How should she play this? She hadn’t a clue, no scripted memory to follow, and no other Eryn to take the lead.

Before she had it figured out, he stood in front of her, so close she could feel his body heat. Forced to talk to him now, she swallowed and tried to decide whether to stare at his glistening, sun-bronzed chest or drag her eyes upward and try to communicate while melting under the power of his extraordinary golden gaze. Either way wouldn’t be easy because wanting him had left her tongue-tied—whether in fantasy or reality.

“Are you all right?

“Um, yes, of course.” Of course, she wasn’t.

He frowned. “You’re flushed, and your nose is pink. Have you had too much sun?”

She lifted her hand to her face, touching it gingerly.

“I told you to stay put. Where were you going?”

She bristled. The insinuation that he needed to keep an eye on her, although justified, was still insulting. “I’m thirsty and need a drink.”

The lie came easily, so did the rush of warmth to her cheeks. Not from the fib, rather from the husky tone in her voice, like she’d been roused from sleep, or worse, breathless with desire.

She cleared her throat to mask the signs. “Would you deny me water?”

Ram moved closer, stopping a mere inch away. An overwhelming presence as he towered over her, she stepped back, the rough bark of the tree behind her snagging the material of her ridiculous dress. She despised the weakness prompting her retreat, but he inspired a wealth of emotions that left her trembling.

Propping one large hand against the wide trunk, right above her shoulder, he leaned in. “There is little I would deny you, Eryn, if you would yield to me.”

Oh, wow! The man literally made her ovaries ache.

Although she wanted nothing more than to give herself freely, to end the years of loneliness she’d endured on a ship chockful of women, to ease her body’s constant yearning since seeing him wild and gorgeous in the forest that first day, she did nothing except stare up at him.

“Stubborn beyond belief, yet so very beautiful.” The warmth of his breath brushed her cheek, and she thought he might kiss her, but his lips twitched. A moment later, he rose to his full height, holding a metal canteen in his hand.

She glanced at it in surprise.

“I left this here for you. I take care of what is mine.”

Her body vibrated with awareness. She wanted to drop to her knees and agree to everything he asked of her, thinking only of her need in that moment, not the future or the past.

He raised his hand, index finger extended, and slid the tip along her cheekbone, down the line of her jaw, and over her bottom lip. “I must get back to my men. Save me a sip, will you, pretty mate? I know spectating in the shade is thirsty work, but hand-to-hand drills tend to make a man parched, too.”

His teasing surprised her out of her lust-filled state. Knowing he expected her to sit and watch him, which was an exercise in pure torture—her body racked with wanting after going unsatisfied for months—she snapped. “I didn’t choose to sit here like a precious pet. I’d rather be facing off against you with one of those swords.”

He grinned. “Think you could take me, little rebel?”

“No, but at least I’d have the satisfaction of trying.”

He brushed a stray lock of hair off her forehead. “Fighting is such dirty work, Eryn. Wouldn’t you rather reserve your strength for the loving I plan to give you later?”

No, her body screamed, I can’t wait for later. I need it now.

“Are you sure you’re all right, galita? Aside from being flushed, your nipples are as hard as pebbles and visible through your gown. I think the reason for your heightened color might not be the sun at all, but rather, the sight of your half-dressed mate. Admit it, Eryn,” he whispered. “You want me.”

She took in his teasing grin and how he seemed unaffected by her, and jerked her face away. “I’ll admit no such thing, warrior.”

“Omission is still a lie, pretty little one.” Matching her slight retreat with a forward advance of his own, he slid an arm around her waist and pulled her against the length of his body. Before she could launch a counter measure, he sealed his mouth over hers. His tongue swept in, and as he maneuvered her with her back against the tree, his arms fell away, holding her with only the persuasion on his lips and tongue.

Surrounded by his presence and the wonderful masculine scent he exuded, Eryn opened to his hungry possession, living in the moment. It was glorious, freaking hot, and what she’d been dreaming about forever, it seemed.

All too soon, one of his men interrupted their kiss by calling his name.

“Ram, it’s unfair how you flaunt your pretty new mate in front of us. The rest of us haven’t been lucky enough to be paired yet. You’re heartless.”

When he raised his head, the molten gold of his gaze blazed down on her with unquenched desire. “I have to go, little rebel, but plan on finishing this discussion tonight.”

Prepared to be left high and dry and completely aroused again, her tongue let loose her frustration and channeled the Eryn of old. “It will be very one-sided. Never will I submit to you.”

His eyes dipped to her chin, raised in defiance then moved lower, his grin reappearing as he eyed the hard points on the front of her dress professing her the liar he had named her. “Never is a long time, Eryn. We’ll see how stubborn you can be.”

“Or how patient you are because you’ll be old, gray, and shriveled in various places before I yield to my captor.”

He winced, reaching down to adjust the front of his trousers. “Again, we’ll see. As hard and aching as I stay around you, I doubt shriveling is something I need to be worried about.”

“Ram, I’m becoming weak in this heat while waiting for you to finish playing with your female. In fact, I think I feel faint and will need a nap under the shade tree, too.”

Her eyes shifted to his side, finding the young warrior who baited him at her expense. With her body wound tighter than a spring, she couldn’t stand any more teasing. She bent, grabbed the knife out of Ram’s boot, and, with a flick of her wrist, sent it flying. Her aim true, the blade embedded dead center in her target—a tree a few feet wide of the mouthy youth and about five yards past. A hush fell over the men while they stared at the hilt still quivering from the impact.

“That’s how faint this female is, foolish warrior,” she quipped, her words echoing over the stilled gathering. “If you need a nap, I’m happy to change places and you can wear this ridiculous dress.”

After a moment, laughter erupted, not directed at her, she noted with satisfaction, but at the cheeky young man who had turned five shades of red after being challenged by a girl.

“Eryn,” came the low warning in her ear. At the same time, hard fingers wound around her wrist. Not tight, Ram wasn’t that way, but he could be firm, when she defied his rules and especially when it came to—her breath caught in her throat—impertinence and disrespect.

Her head snapped around. Surely, he wouldn’t do something about it here, in front of his men. She met his gaze, reading a mixture of anger and what she thought may have been pride, although fleeting, and she couldn’t be certain of the latter.

“I think you’ve forgotten a certain lesson we had not so long ago.”

“No, I haven’t. I didn’t say a disrespectful word, not to you.”

“You will also not challenge or embarrass my men. No matter how young and foolish he is.”

“He mocked me, calling me weak. Am I not due the same respect because I am merely an unimportant female?”

“You have proven often enough you aren’t weak. And that we wanted you for mates the instant we saw you should make it clear you are far from unimportant. His taunt was for me, poorly aimed, I agree, but it did not necessitate hurling a knife in his direction. What if you had missed?”

With as much arrogance as he typically displayed, she also equaled his boldness as she declared, “My aim is always true. If I’d really wanted to teach him manners, I would have made the dagger split his legs, rather than the tree. You’d have one less warrior in your practice yard because he’d be trotting home to change his shorts.”

His black brow quirked in surprise, and she thought she saw his mouth twitch. He had more control than she did, however. “I will address the behavior, both yours and his. Yours will come later, at home. In Gailen’s defense, he is a youth, impulsive, and unused to having women on the training grounds. What is your excuse, mate?”

She didn’t respond to his last question, her gaze skittering away. “Once again, Ram, it wasn’t my idea to come here. I did try to leave quietly. You stopped me.”

He caught her chin in his hand and tipped her face up to his. “You’re right. I ordered you here, and here you will stay until I am through. So, sit, observe, take a nap if you would, but you will behave, and you are not to leave this field without permission. Is that understood?”

She scowled, unable to help it. How could she want him so badly and, at the same time, want to smack the big jerk? But she nodded all the same. What choice did she have?

“Answer aloud, Eryn.”

“It’s understood, Master Warrior.” Although she tried, she couldn’t conceal her derisive tone.

“Defiance doesn’t help your cause, galita. It adds color to your cheeks and a brightness to your gaze which enhances your beauty and makes me want you even more.” He pulled her in for another kiss, this one hard and short, yet stirring like the one earlier. When he released her, his eyes swept over her face, and the glint of pride seemed to have changed to approval. Then he left her to rejoin his men.

For the next hour, she sat in silence, leaning against the tree with her eyes closed, like she took the nap he’d suggested. But her mind wouldn’t quiet.

Here she was, on Primaria, having no remembrance of her arrival. Her memories still intact, but in her dreams, she’d skipped over a big chunk of time. Up until then, they’d come in sequence. Why the change, and why come to this place, one she didn’t know?

Nothing made sense. Why, with the old Eryn absent, did she remain at odds with Ram and slip into the old role of the defiant captive. Maybe the dreams were trying to remind her of what she already knew—they weren’t meant to be—that even if their paths changed and they met later, or if she hadn’t betrayed him, the fact remained, they didn’t match. Physically, they sizzled, burning for one another, but beyond that as mates, not so much, always arguing and in opposition.

A shrill alarm echoing through the field snapped her eyes open. She jumped to her feet, looking back toward town and its source.

Footsteps pounded behind her.

She spun to find Ram almost upon her. “What is that?”

“It signals an emergency at the mines.” He pulled her away from the tree and began walking. “Gailen will see you home. Take this opportunity to make your apology.”

“To him? I don’t think so!”

“I don’t have time to argue, Eryn.” He signaled the young warrior over. “Escort her home and stand guard. She is not to leave my residence.” He placed a kiss on her forehead. “We will discuss this more after the mine situation is resolved.”

Gone the next instant, his long strides took him back to the crowd of rushing men where he disappeared among them.

---

“Hurry,” Gailen urged her, except when she turned, she didn’t see him.

She spun in a circle. “Where did you go?” She yelled to be heard over the alarm which continued to blare. “Gailen?”

“Hurry”!” he repeated, his voice sounding muffled. “Or we’ll lose her.”

Perplexed by his words, she became more bewildered when she realized the young warrior’s voice hadn’t been male but female.

’Without warning, her world tilted on edge. She found herself hovering on the edge of awareness, halfway between the sun-drenched field on Primaria, and pure, unadulterated torment.

With a jolt, she hurtled into the present, her dream world vanishing in the gray swirling mist. Pain swept in, racking her body in its unyielding grip. All she wanted to do was return to the training field where Ram pinned her against the tree, or if she couldn’t have that, sinking into the blackness which brought relief, at least. Anything would be better than this.

“I need another moment,” a woman advised, sounding harried.

For what? came Eryn’s frantic response, but as always, no one could hear her.

Pop!

The agony subsided, replaced by a numbness encompassing her lower body from the waist down. She still couldn’t move, although considering the alternative, she didn’t care and closed her eyes, savoring a pain-free state.

Exhaustion swamped her, not just physically but emotionally. The constant shifting of her state of reality leaving her drained and confused. She felt trapped, without hope, and so frustrated hot tears welled up behind her eyes. How much longer could this go on?

“She’s crying. She must be in pain.”

Ram. But he assumed wrong. Except for her head, the pain was gone. Even his presence didn’t bring her comfort, nothing did while stuck in this senseless, mystifying limbo.

“Not any longer,” Juna told him. “Dr. Martin has given her a spinal anesthetic. There might be some pressure in her upper abdomen, but no more pain.” Worry filled in her voice. “Ram, I have to ask, again. It might not be possible to save them both.”

“I don’t accept that,” he snapped. “Do what you must to keep them both alive.”

A crushing heaviness settled over her chest. Oh my God. I’m dying. And my baby may be, too.

Another alarm blared, and bright swirling lights flashed behind her eyelids. Her body began to float, drifting upward, different from the last time because she could see everything around her. Washed in white, the room appeared hazy. Even so, she could make out Ram near the back, Maggie at his side, both watching in horror as people swarmed the bed. And no wonder, chaos had ensued with some people yelling, others barking orders, all of them talking at once.

“I need to intubate.” Juna’s voice rose above the others. She glanced at Ram and Maggie while she moved to the head of the bed. “I had hoped to avoid it, but with her crashing every few minutes… We can’t risk her and the baby any longer.”

“Do what you must,” was Ram’s gruff response. “But please, save them.”

“Number three blade,” she ordered.

A nurse stepped aside to get what she needed, and Eryn stared at the patient on the bed—pale skin, lips turned blue, red hair dull… Red hair. Oh my God!

Although she’d long suspected, the reality of seeing herself lying unconscious on a hospital bed came as a shock.

The nurse returned, blocking her view as they continued working, which was probably for the best. She looked at Ram. What about our baby? Juna mentioned crashing, and since they were putting a tube down her throat, that meant she’d lacked oxygen, which didn’t sound good for her or their child. As she pieced it all together, she came up with a bleak conclusion.

“Ram,” Juna said moments later. “She’s critical and because it’s premature. So is the baby. Surgery in this situation is high risk, so I must know what you want me to do. If it comes down to Eryn or the baby…”

Save my baby. Eryn’s answer came in an instant.

“It’s an impossible choice.” His raspy voice held uncertainty.

A sob came from Maggie. Pale, with dark circles under her eyes, her friend looked exhausted, but Ram seemed worse, ravaged as though he hadn’t slept in weeks. A dark scruffy beard shadowed his face, and his expression showed his shock and confusion.

Tell her to save our baby. She willed him to somehow know her answer.

“I’m sorry,” Juna urged, “I need to know now, before we take her in.”

I do, too. But her awareness began to wane, and the sights and sounds in the hospital room shifted, becoming muted.

No, please, wait. I need to know, too.

However, like each time in the past, she had neither choice nor control. She floated again, drifting in another pool of warmth. This time, however, it wasn’t pleasant or relaxing, rather, consumed with darkness.