“It’s been two weeks.”

After her dream shifted and sent her spiraling upward through the black-and-gray mists, Ram’s voice was the first sound she heard. His words were strained and reflected his weariness. Despite the toll her illness was taking on him, Eryn found relief in his presence.

It lasted only a moment, however, then the burning in her chest returned, as did the rawness in her throat from the interminable breathing tube. She had hoped, and prayed, when she returned it wouldn’t be to the hospital, but here she was again, the ventilator beeping and whooshing away. Despite its efforts, she couldn’t catch her breath, the tightness and pressure in her lungs making her feel like she was starving for air—nothing short of torture.

“She’s getting worse, isn’t she, Juna?”

“Her response isn’t what I’d hoped for, no. I think we need to consider your physic’s treatment.”

A chair squeaked on the floor. “It is risky,” Ram replied, his voice more distinct—he’d moved closer. “What are the chances it will work, Ellar?”

“I can’t make any predictions, since it’s never been tried on a human. With Primarians, it is almost always successful.”

“Almost always. What happens when it isn’t?”

A long silence followed.

“She could die.” Ram’s grim statement answered his own question.

“Yes. In her condition, that is a risk,” Ellar acknowledged. “But what we’re doing isn’t helping. And she can’t wait until the new equipment arrives. It could be months.”

“How soon can you begin?” The weight of the decision rang in the raspy tenor of his words.

“Right away. I have the serum prepared. It works quickly if it’s going to.”

Ram’s “do it” came with quiet emphasis.

A few moments later, a warm sensation started in her chest and spread throughout her body. She’d swear her blood tingled as the serum coursed through her veins. She tried to relax and focus on her breathing.

Except for an occasional whisper, the others in the room remained quiet, but the tension grew palpable. Although surrounded by people, she felt alone and scared.

Seeming to sense her distress, a warm hand squeezed her fingers firmly in reassurance.

Ram.

Though he didn’t speak, and she couldn’t see him, she knew. Not from the slight roughness of his skin or the way his much bigger hand engulfed hers. She just knew. And she welcomed his touch, the comfort it provided, and would have given anything to be able to give him a little squeeze in return.

Time crept by, and bit by bit the tingling warmth increased. She began to sweat, the sheet beneath her growing wet as the temperature of her blood turned into an unbearable heat, like she was boiling inside.

“She’s burning up,” Ram announced at about the same time.

“The flushing and fever are normal,” Ellar advised.

“Are her teeth chattering normal as well?”

“She’s chilling. It’s almost like a blood reaction.” Juna’s voice held a twinge of concern.

“That is exactly what it is. The Valencia herb combined with a mate’s DNA will boost the immune system into a hyper-state of healing. She will get Ram’s help in fighting off this ailment. His blood is the key.”

“Remarkable,” Juna murmured.

“It is one of the many benefits of the mate bond. If they weren’t a match and so highly compatible, the hemolytic reaction could have dire, perhaps fatal results.”

It took Eryn a moment to comprehend what the physic meant. “No!”

What had they done?

She and Ram weren’t highly compatible, far from it, which meant their blood wouldn’t be. She had told Juna repeatedly they hadn’t bonded. Couldn’t they see she hadn’t transformed? They called themselves doctors, were they blind? And why had Ram gone along with it, when he knew better than anyone?

Again, she would be an anomaly, an outlier, the one in however many that failed, a statistic in a column no one ever wanted to be included in.

As her temperature rose, her mind whirled at a dizzying rate. Her breathing became more labored and the awful burning in her chest worsened. She thought her lungs would explode if she couldn’t take a deep breath soon.

An alarm began to shriek.

“What have you done to her, old man?” Ram demanded in a panicked voice.

“It always gets worse before it gets better.”

“Don’t you think this would have been information to give me ahead of time?”

“I’m sorry, Ram. I should have warned you, but we never know what to expect.”

Something icy settled over top of her.

“What is that?” he demanded.

“A cooling blanket,” Juna advised. “It will keep her fever from getting too high.”

“It should help keep her comfortable,” Ellar added, “until we know if it is effective, which will be a few more hours.”

“I pray to the Maker she has that long,” Ram whispered.

Eryn did, too. She also knew if it hinged on Ram being her mate, his prayer wouldn’t be answered.

She descended into the darkness. This time, hopelessness joined her.

---

Eryn’s eyes popped open sometime later. Never knowing how long she drifted between the present and her dream state or where she would end up, the slight disorientation when she arrived didn’t surprise her. She couldn’t make out where she popped up this time, but the warmth along her back didn’t seem anything like a fever. Turning, she found cheery sunshine streaming in through a window.

Hope sprang within her. She wasn’t being chased through a forest or held captive on a ship or racked with pain on a hospital bed.

What if Ellar’s magic serum actually worked?

A rustling noise behind had her turning again, but the spark of hopefulness extinguished in an instant. The huge bed and the masculine furnishings of Ram’s bedroom told her she’d resumed her dream right where it left off—in Ram’s home on Primaria. Except this time, dream-Eryn had returned.

She wanted to throw something or, at the very least, stomp her foot or curse the heavens out of frustration. But she didn’t. Instead, she stood transfixed while her mirror image, lying next to a sleeping Ram, gently stroked his face. These were the same actions repeated from the past, but it wasn’t supposed to be this way.

He should wake beside her, a sleepy sexy smile on his face, and reach for her, ready to finish what they’d started on the couch the day before. Things she should be righted between them, not identical to the past—she’d changed her mind last night. After Lorkin left, she’d discarded the vial of the sleeping drug in the trash bin.

Frantic, she scanned the room.

No. Unless her eyes deceived her, the decanter of vilo sat in the exact spot where she’d put it six months earlier. Since he hadn’t arrived home by midnight, she figured when he did drag in, he’d be too tired to fix himself something to eat. She had set out a light snack and his favorite libation, hoping he’d be tempted. Why would she have done so unless it contained the potion Lorkin had given her? The old Eryn wouldn’t have been so considerate.

She’d been wrong about these dreams. They were nothing but a mixture of memories and illusions conjured by her exhausted and damaged brain. And since they had no meaning and no connection in any way, her efforts to change and correct what she had done were futile.

She tried to swallow past the lump in her throat, but the pain gripping her heart, crippling disappointment, and guilt overwhelmed her. Her knees wouldn’t hold her any longer. She staggered back and slid down the wall, gaze still glued to the betraying bitch on the bed. That was who Ram would see when he woke moments from now. And if the past repeated, as it seemed destined to, this was only the beginning of more pain for them both.

---

Lying beside him, head propped on her hand, she watched him sleep. Never having seen him like this—hair loose and messy, a scruff of dark beard along his jaw, his often-stern face relaxed—she thought he looked perfect this way, too. Usually up first, he had a habit of teasing her awake with gentle kisses and caresses. His favorite part of the day, he’d said, when he could count on her being soft and compliant to his touch. She’d scowled, while he’d chuckled. But she had to admit, if only to herself, even as a captive with a mission on her mind, in the vulnerable state between sleep and waking, she enjoyed being snuggled against him, his big body a source of incredible heat and comfort, while his unforgettable scent surrounded her.

Unable to keep from touching him, she ran her fingers lightly up his chest, the broadness of which dwarfed her hand, a feat by itself since she’d never been considered small boned. As her eyes ate him up, her heart clenched and she rolled forward, burying her face in his neck. She inhaled, consigning his glorious essence to memory. It would have to last a lifetime.

Unsure of how long she lay there, absorbing everything about him she could, one thing remained certain—she needed to get up. The more time she spent with him, the more she yearned for his touch, the more tempted she became to let everything and everyone else fend for themselves and, just once, be selfish.

She needed to go before just once became now.

With her face angled up to his, she laid her hand against his stubbled jaw and pressed her lips to his. “Good-bye, Ram,” she whispered. “I’ll never forget you.”

His eyes opened and his sleepy, somewhat dazed, golden gaze met hers. “Mate?”

She stiffened, his single word setting her off. Pulling away from him, she rolled to the edge of the bed, where she sat up, fully clothed.

“What’s wrong?” His speech came out gruff and slightly slurred, like he’d been drugged. Guilt stabbed into her gut.

“What is right is a better question.”

“I don’t understand.” Ram tried to reach for her, but an ominous clank echoed in the stillness of the room. He craned his head and stared at the heavy leather cuff on his wrist and stout metal links securing him to the headboard. Courtesy of Odo as an “extra precaution.” The notion of what the cretin did with the things made her shudder.

“Release me,” he growled.

She shook her head, and because she couldn’t resist, rested her hand flat on his chest. His muscles bunched at her touch. “I can’t, Ram. You’d only try to stop me.”

“Stop you from what?”

“Leaving.”

“Impossible. You’re not going anywhere, mate. Take off these bindings. Now.”

She frowned, her fingers stroking his smooth skin, as though they had a mind of their own. He felt warm and solid, if only…

She blinked, lifting her gaze to his angry one. “I’m not your mate, Ram. After fighting tooth and nail these past few weeks, I’d think you’d realize that.”

“I don’t recall fighting with you before I was called away yesterday. The opposite, in fact. You begged for me to take you.”

Eryn’s face heated as she flashed back on the two Ram-induced orgasms on his living room couch and didn’t try to deny the truth. “I never said I didn’t want you.”

“I’ll not ask again. Release me and then you can explain what this is all about.”

“I’m sorry. Neither of those things is going to happen.” She moved her hand, grazing the point of one hard nipple. Leaning over him once more, she slid the fingers of her other hand up his neck to thread through his hair. “While we aren’t well matched, there is passion. I’ll give you that. Maybe in a different place, at another time, or if you hadn’t captured me and hauled me off like a caveman, we could have been lovers, at least,” she whispered, her lips so close they brushed his.

Despite the truth she’d spoken and the fact she’d tied him to his own bed, Ram’s shaft lengthened and pushed upward against the linen covering him. The gleam in his eyes spoke of both his passion and fury. That he could still want her in the face of this betrayal made her bolder.

“One last good-bye kiss?” Not quite a question, she didn’t wait for his agreement, instead lowering her mouth to his.

The familiar groan of desire rumbled in his throat at the onset, and he opened beneath her. Even though bound, he took control by spearing his tongue into her mouth. She angled her head, slanting her lips over his, giving him more.

“Release me, Eryn,” he growled down her throat. “I need to touch you.”

She didn’t though, instead, easing away just enough to glide her lips down his jaw to his neck. He arched his head backwards, his body tensing, as a low groan rumbled in his chest. With such distinct encouragement, her tongue stroked downward, gliding over his smooth pec, until she encountered his hard nipple. She circled it with her tongue then caught it between her teeth. When his hips bucked upward, she felt the hard press of his cock against her thigh.

Hungry, like him, she moved to straddle his waist. Sliding lower, taking the sheet with her as she went, her mouth trailed a line of wet kisses down his abdomen, her hand finding his rigid length and gripping him tight. He bucked, pushing his hardness into the circle of her fingers.

With her body draped over his long legs, her mouth hovering over him, she gazed at his beautiful cock jerking in anticipation. Her eyes slid to his, reading the passion in their golden depths. Her tongue came out and tasted him like he had done often to her. She sank around him, enjoying the slow glide of his length along her tongue while she took him deeper, almost to her throat. His groans of pleasure filled the air.

Ram seemed not to care what she was up to any longer and arched upward, pumping his hips as he filled her. For long passion-filled minutes, his moans, her wet slurping, and the sound of their ragged breathing, their actions leaving them greedy for air, filled the room.

Many uninterrupted minutes later, Eryn sat up, gasping. Her hand replaced her lips, and set a steady up-and-down pace, pumping him with her fist while her other hand raked up her long dress. She straddled his hips. Knowing this would be her only chance to be with him, she guided him to her entrance.

“Release me, galita. I’ll give you ease, but not this way.”

Ram’s denial stopped her short. Tension tightened his jaw as he struggled for control. He wanted her, his body couldn’t deny it.

“I want you, warrior, and I know you want me.”

“If you do this, you will bond with me.”

With a sad heart, she leaned down to him. “It’s all right, Ram. We’re safe.”

“What do you mean safe?”

“Since we’re not mates, we can enjoy each other this one time, with no worries. Please, Ram. We can have this memory if nothing else.”

A shadow crossed his face, filling it with an emotion she couldn’t read. Anger, yes, and something else.

“I don’t want it this way, but I can’t fight you.”

Eryn lowered her head for another hungry kiss which Ram returned with as much passion. When she moved away, his neck bent, straining to follow. It stayed there, his glowing eyes watching her align her body to take him inside.

She hesitated, uncertain, and she met his gaze.

“Don’t tell me you’ve come this far only to lose your nerve, little rebel.”

Her lips parted, doubt increasing as he baited her. She closed her eyes, on the verge of doing just what he claimed.

With a guttural growl, Ram took over, even bound, his dominance seizing control. With a thrust of his hips, he drove his cock upward, gliding deep until he was seated.

Eryn’s head fell back. Filled, his girth stretched her almost to the point of pain despite the wetness he’d inspired in her. It took her breath away. She moved over top of him, shifting to accommodate his size which allowed him to go deeper; her body weight taking her down until she was beyond claimed by his length and breadth, her muscles rippling in response.

“Faex!” he growled, his hips flexing, starting to glide inside of her slowly. “You fit me as I knew you would, my mate. Perfect.”

“No,” she whispered in denial. “Not mates.”

“We are, except that isn’t for now. This is about our pleasure. Since you’ve eliminated my hands, I’m unable to hold and guide you, which means you must do the work. Move your hips, galita, and ride me.”

Above him, she gasped for air, fast and unsteady. Unable to do what he asked, not yet.

“If we are going to play this game, Eryn, it is up to you. Fuck me,” he growled, his eyes blazing up at her.

It was a command, and like a good soldier, she obeyed. Tentatively, she rose up an inch or two then slid back down until he filled her again. On the next glide, she took more and a little faster.

“Good girl,” he murmured, without breaking the lock he had on her gaze. “Now, put your hands on my chest for balance and do as I say. Ride me.” A long, hard pump of his hips punctuated the last two words.

She splayed her hands flat on his chest, her fingertips curling into his pecs. She began with a slow rocking motion until she sensed the rhythm of his hips. Soon, becoming more confident, she settled into a sensuous grind. Not enough for Ram, he watched with rapt intensity as her body undulated above him. He pumped upward using his thighs to brace her against him. Skin slapped against skin, panting breaths intertwined, and his deep, masculine groans melded with her feminine moans of pleasure.

One downside, the underlying clank of the chains a constant reminder.

“Lean up,” he ordered.

She stared down at him, her brain sluggish as her body took over.

“I want to taste you, little rebel. Come up here and give me your nipple.”

Eryn made a choking sound, a shudder racing through her at the thought. Again, she did as she’d been told, and with her hands braced on his shoulders, dangled her breast over his mouth. His tongue came out first, swirling around the tip, before his lips claimed all of it, taut bud and ruched areola, sucking it hard.

Her moans increased in volume when he bucked underneath her, his mouth unrelenting. He took control—who was she kidding, Ram had been in control almost since the beginning—and brought her to climax, her breathless cries resonating in the room while he shouted with his own release.

She collapsed against him, her face buried in his neck, her breasts pressed flat on his rapidly rising and falling chest, the motion so jerky, she had to hold on to him to keep her seat.

When they recovered, long moments later, and the reality of what she’d done sank in, she pushed up. Though still joined intimately, she couldn’t bear to meet his eyes. What had she done?

“Look at me,” he growled.

Eryn shook her head. How could she look him in the eyes ever again?

“Now!” he ordered in a chilling voice.

She pushed up on his chest, which served to drive his still-hard shaft deeper inside her. Her thick hair tumbled forward and pooled around her hands still clinging to his damp skin. When she shifted her gaze to his, emotion of unrivaled intensity shone in his golden eyes. Anger, as expected, and determination—probably imagining wrapping his hands around her throat—and desire, which surprised her most of all. How could a man still want someone who had tied him to his bed while he slept?

“You have initiated and completed your own breaching. Already, the chemical change is happening in our bodies to forge the bond between mates. You’re mine, Eryn. Maes eternium. For eternity, my mate.”

“No,” she protested in a ragged cry, still short of breath after the tumult of their joining.

“Yes. You cannot deny fate.”

“I can because you are mistaken.” To hide the tears welling up in her eyes, she climbed off him and, with her back turned, began dressing.

“No mistake,” he rejoined. “It may have been an unorthodox breaching, yet it is done. My seed is the catalyst. By your own making, you have just mated with me. You can’t deny it.”

“I can!” she bit out. “Don’t you see, Ram?” She threw her arms wide. “All of this has been a mistake. And your vaunted compatibility tests confirm it.”

“You’re speaking nonsense. Let me up.”

Clothing set to rights, she stood at the foot of the bed and stared at him.

“Untie me!”

“We’re incompatible, Ram.”

“Impossible, the tests—”

“Were wrong.”

“Out tests are never wrong.”

Despite being tied to a bed, he remained exceptionally arrogant. She threw up her hands. “Haven’t you ever heard the expression there’s a first time for everything? We”—she motioned with her hand between them—“are the first time. Someone lied to you. We didn’t score off the charts. Not even close. We ranked so low it’s no wonder we’re at odds all the time.”

“You’re confused. Untie me and we’ll settle this. We’ll go to Jarlan, be retested if need be to prove you’re mistaken.”

“No, Ram. We aren’t mates and never will be. And that, along with so many other reasons I’ve hammered at you these past two weeks, is why I’m going home.”

“Impossible.”

“Very possible. You see, I’m not the only one who knows I don’t belong here. Your own people do. They came to me and are going to help us get back to our ship.” She looked around for the bag of supplies she’d packed.

“This grand scheme you were offered, tell me…” The sound of his voice, icy with contempt, sent a chill down her spine. “Was this before or after you put your hand down my pants and so eagerly spread your thighs for me on my couch?”

She flinched. “Ram—”

“And here. I understand restraining me to escape, but this farewell scene, what was this all about? A sweet good-bye? Or perhaps it’s a case of the captive becoming the captor and seeking revenge.”

“You’re wrong. I wouldn’t do something like that. You’ve been mounting your seduction for days, and I wanted—” Her voice broke with emotion. Then she frowned and lifted her chin. “You didn’t resist. ‘Fuck me,’ you said, remember? You can’t cry foul now.”

“You tied me to the bed while I slept, sucked my cock until I grew hard, and proceeded to climb on top of me, and still you try to deny what this was?”

His accusing gaze stayed riveted on her. Unable to bear his condemnation, she turned away.

“The word exists in your world, not mine. You threw it in my face, easy enough, when you were unwilling.”

She wheeled around. “You drove your tongue into my mouth and your cock into my… Those aren’t the actions of an unwilling participant,” she shouted. Despite her vehemence, her arguments rang hollow. Face flushed, she caught her lower lip between her teeth and bit down to keep from sobbing.

“Deny it all you like, but from the start, you warned seduction was the same as taking you against your will. Never did I bind you, Eryn, or take you without consent. The tables have truly turned. Tell me, who is the barbarian now?”

“This wasn’t the same.”

“So, when you are in control—”

“You know damn well I wasn’t in control of this,” she snapped.

“I’m bound,” he retorted, his words clipped and cold, and he yanked on the chains for emphasis. “It seems the end justifies the means, in your mind. Why? Because you are a woman? You play that card when it suits you, little rebel.”

Appalled by the truth being flung in her face, she whirled and headed for the door. “I have to go.”

“Do not compound your crimes by leaving me tied here.”

She ignored his ominous warning.

“I’m sorry, I have no choice. Someone will be along to untie you once they discover we’re gone.”

“You are my mate,” he growled. “If you leave, I will find you.”

“Please, don’t.” At the door, she stopped and turned back. From her skirt pocket, she withdrew a folded sheet of paper and held it up. “This is our initial compatibility test, Ram, 43 percent. That’s how much of a mate I am. Not the near-perfect match someone led you to believe, which I’m sure, after you think on it, you’ll realize is what you deserve. At least you can rest easy you won’t get sick when I’m gone.”

“Don’t do this,” he growled.

“I have regrets.” When her voice broke, she paused to take a steadying breath. “Though not about what we just shared. Even if you hate me for it, I’ll never forget the way you made me feel.” She snapped her mouth shut to keep from spewing any more raw truths.

“Something is wrong here. This doesn’t make sense.”

“It makes perfect sense, Ram. We were never meant to be. You’ll realize one day when you do find your mate.” She gestured to the paper which had slipped from her fingers and lay like a glaring accusation in the middle of the floor. “One who is more than a mere 43 percent.” Having said enough, she opened the door.

“Eryn, I swear by the Maker if you leave me like this, you won’t sit for a week.”

She smiled, with tears stinging her eyes. Blinking to keep them at bay, she looked at him one last time. “Good-bye, Ram. I wish you happiness in the future. I mean that.”

---

The doors close with a resolute swish, and she frowned. Left behind with Ram rather than following dream-Eryn and her own memories was a new twist. What happened from here on out would be new territory.

“Get back here,” Ram roared with a force that shook the floor beneath and rattled the window glass.

Turning to face him, she sidestepped, seeing his furious glare fixed on her. When it didn’t follow, she realized she’d been standing in front of the doors—his real target. He didn’t blink, his stare fixed while dream-Eryn’s footsteps pounded down the stairs. She felt bad that he didn’t get the definitive slam of a door to tell him when she had gone, just a barely audible anticlimactic swish.

“Faex!” With a burst of raw power, he tore at the restraints, the muscles in his arms and chest straining. Crack! His head craned around, as did hers, both of them staring at the headboard. Three more powerful yanks and the thick wood bowed…but held firm.

With a shudder, indicative of his seething anger, he blew out a breath and went still. So still it scared her. She crossed to the bedside, looking down at the man who had changed her life. She hadn’t witnessed this. In their parting scene, she’d tasted his passion, felt the fire of his volatile emotions, the frustration in his sharp words, and heard his enraged, demanding shouts as she rushed from his house. She hadn’t seen what her betrayal had wrought in the aftermath, the rawness she’d laid bare, that, in a private moment, the warrior in him tried to contain, yet failed to do. And while he stared up at the ceiling in silence for what seemed like hours, she witnessed his heartbreaking anguish.

Light was fading outside when she heard voices. Shortly after, boots pounded up the stairs. Trask entered the room first, taking in the scene in a single glance. He held up his hand. “Wait here,” he barked to the men behind him.

With the door closed for privacy, the general crossed to the bed and released him. Once free, Ram rolled out of bed and, disregarding his nudity, walked to the middle of the room where he picked up the discarded report from the floor. He glanced at it then let it fall from his fingers. Crossing to his uniform which lay on the floor from the night before, he dressed. “The Earth females?”

“Gone.”

“How?”

“An explosion in one of the mines, which we suspect was a diversion. It worked. With the city in chaos and every warrior responding, they took their ship and have at least a four-hour head start.”

“They had help.” Ram finger-combed his hair then tied it back. “She used the words ‘people,’ and ‘they.’ Both plural.”

“Your mate said this?”

His hands clenched. “Eryn told me. Whether she is my mate is up for debate, it seems.”

Despite the situation he’d walked in on, Trask’s face remained a mask of calm—unlike Ram’s which had turned cold and hard.

Once dressed, he faced his general. “When does our ship leave in pursuit?”

“The minute we transport up. They’re waiting for us.”

“Let’s go.”

He exited the room, leaving Trask staring after him. The general didn’t follow, instead, crossed to the paper lying face down on the floor. He picked it up and flipped it over, his gaze skimming the page.

“Faex!” he muttered. He also let it go and exited behind his Master Warrior, the news of her and Ram’s ill-fated match floating unheeded to the floor.

Left alone, she crawled into his bed and lay where his body had been. She swept her hand over the mussed linens, no longer warm, yet still carrying his scent. Curled up in a ball, she hugged his pillow to her chest and breathed in Ram.

Tears overflowed, and, once again, she wondered why.

Why give her control if what she did had no effect? She’d discarded Lorkin’s sleeping potion into a bin out back last night. She still ended up reliving these same painful episodes where she made the same awful mistakes.

It seemed useless—except to make her feel worse, filling her with more guilt and regret, and to see why Ram had every reason to distrust her.

“It’s no wonder he hates me,” she whispered to the empty room. Burying her face in his pillow, she cried, hard, shuddering, hitching sobs that robbed her of breath.