Chapter Seven
After three days with no sign of Thorin, Vala had contemplated escaping.
On the fifth day, she made it as far as the door, but cowardice made her use the hover chair to float back to the bed before she could attempt to open a panel to study the electronics.
By the seventh day, she deemed walking more important than escaping and had thrown herself into the formulas she’d found in the doctor’s entry about the Brevkan. She even had a list of what she needed to make her first test serum.
If it were at all possible, she would walk again. As it’d always been, she could only rely on herself or her mother, but since her mother was back on Keldera, Vala would have to fend for herself.
And to think she’d felt sorry for Thorin and had wanted to show him some compassion. All her sympathy had brought was isolation and restrictions. The only resources she had were those she had downloaded the first day of her captivity and whatever was available on the public notescreen in the room. Not even the AI system would answer most of her questions. All Vala knew was that the replicator worked when asking for emergency provisions, but nothing more.
Oh, and she could confirm one more thing—the ship wasn’t currently under attack. In that scenario, a red alert would sound in all quarters regardless of the restrictions placed on them. If it reached the point of an evacuation, her door would also open automatically, too.
In the end, she was a prisoner more than she had ever been in her life. As a Barren, she was able to move around freely and access the public data resources whenever she wanted. Now, she couldn’t leave a room and had to be granted even basic privileges.
Stupid Thorin. She knew he was a general and was busy, but a simple message saying he had military matters to attend to would’ve been nice.
Instead, Thorin’s absence confirmed how he had lied to her about saying she had worth. If he truly meant it, he would’ve kept her abreast of events and not kept her confined and isolated. His actions signaled she was little more than a pet or plaything to be taken out when he felt the need.
For the first time in a long time, Vala felt foolish.
“Well, that’s what you get for trying to see the good in people,” she muttered to herself. Vala would never reveal her theories surrounding Thorin’s heritage since that would be petty and dishonorable. But if he still expected for her to wait around and welcome him with open arms, not to mention expect her to participate in a claiming, he had a surprise waiting for him.
If he ever showed his face.
With a growl, she looked back to her notescreen. She needed something to help calm her down and make her forget about the tall, blue-skinned general and his passionate kisses.
Vala pulled up the long-range communication message from Princess Kalahn and Taryn Demara. It had arrived her first day, before her communications had been severed. The message reminded her of why reaching Jasvar was important.
The video played and she smiled at the friendly faces.
Kalahn waved. “Hello, Vala. I’m still awaiting your arrival to help set up the female training program for the new colonists. Thanks to Taryn, my brother finally capitulated.”
Taryn’s Kelderan was broken, which was to be expected since Common Earth Language, or CEL, was her native tongue. “Easy. He like me.”
Kalahn shook her head. “What she’s trying to say is that she tried using her feminine wiles to convince Kason of my idea. When that didn’t work, she surprised him with a dagger. He changed his mind fairly quickly.” Kalahn spoke fast in CEL, which Vala had a hard time following, but Taryn snorted at the princess. Kalahn finally continued in Kelderan, “I know you’ll probably be busy on the colony ship, but make sure to keep up your flight simulation skills. While shuttles and ships are rare on Jasvar at the moment, your ship should be bringing supplies to help start up the industry here, albeit using Jasvar-specific resources.”
Taryn added, “Happy see you. We wait.”
Kalahn spoke up again. “Yes, we’re both anxious to see you. Sitting around and planning is boring. New colonists will definitely spice up the planet.”
“No trouble Kalahn,” Taryn said sternly.
Kalahn winked. “Just a little.” Taryn understood and rolled her eyes. Kalahn looked back to the recording device. “Before I go, we have a little present for you, Vala. See the secure attachment. We’ll greet you when you finally arrive. Take care and try not to let Thorin get under your skin. Yes, we heard he’s in charge of the colony transport ship. Just remember that he doesn’t like anyone.”
The video ended. Even though Vala had seen the attachment before, she wanted something to distract her from thinking about Thorin, so she opened it again. A section of the Keldera-Jasvar Colony Agreement was highlighted:
All laws and rules specific to the Barren are null and void on Jasvar. This includes clothing restrictions, occupational limitations, and restricted housing options. They will be subject to the same laws as the rest of the Kelderan colonists.
She traced the words with her fingers and her eyes grew wet. The role of the Barren on the new colony had been unclear. But Princess Kalahn had come through with her promise to give Vala more freedom.
The video and attachment made Vala glad she hadn’t given herself to Thorin and risked her place on the colony. There was much more than a future on Jasvar—she had a new start in life to be the female she wanted to be, rather than the one expected of her.
Not even a year ago would she have dared to think such a treasonous thought. Vala had a long way to go with regards to recognizing and voicing her opinions without hesitation, but she was becoming more honest by the day.
The one good thing about Thorin was he had also helped with that aspect. She might even prove to herself she could speak her mind if he appeared in front of her.
She wouldn’t wait around for him, though. There were more important things to worry about.
Pulling up her formula notes, she went over the calculations and ingredients again. The hard part would be in obtaining them to perform her tests, but she was working on a plan. Because no matter what, she was going to help Princess Kalahn and Taryn on Jasvar. And to do that, she needed to walk again.
~~~
Thorin should be grateful that events had remained quiet and peaceful ever since he’d given the order to resume their journey with the fighter escorts seven days ago. Yet as he pinned his virtual sparring partner to the ground and the hologram signaled defeat, his tension hadn’t ease with any amount of physical exertion. If anything, each encounter had only heightened it.
“Computer, end program.”
As his opponent and the yellow walls faded to the gray walls and floor of the actual room, Thorin stood and wiped the sweat from his brow. Despite his increased meditation practices as well as pleasuring himself several times a day, his hard cock pounded against his trousers, as if daring him to find the female who was their possession and to claim her as soon as possible.
No. He wouldn’t allow his Brevkan urges to control his life. Vala was a female of worth who needed his protection, not the quick claiming that would probably end up hurting her.
Besides, once he had another taste of Vala, he didn’t think he’d be able to leave her side until he completely sated his urges. That would only increase the risk to all five thousand-plus people aboard the colony transport ship if they were attacked and he couldn’t respond properly.
Walking toward the exit, he stopped and retrieved a towel from a secret bin to wipe his body. No doubt she’d be angry with him for keeping her locked in his quarters, but she should eventually see that his actions were merely to protect her from something worse than an attack or even himself—the other Barren.
By now, he’d had to report to Vala’s superiors that she was his personal mistress for the journey. And as much as he ignored the rumors and actions amongst the Barren aboard the ship unless it threatened the greater harmony of all, he knew others would be jealous of Vala’s temporary station. While he was confident that she could handle simple jealousy, sometimes jealousy could resort to violence or even poisoning.
If others found out about her paralysis, she would become a target, especially since most of the Barren aboard the ship weren’t from Vala’s original citadel base. The rivalries amongst citadels intensified aboard starships; mistresses were often awarded favors. Their competition for a general’s eye was nearly as strong as the competitiveness between merchant chains or even some warriors to thwart their compatriots.
His Kelderan upbringing meant that he would rather die than allow harm to come to her. Isolation was her best form of protection. Yes, he’d keep her that way until their arrival. Then he could quickly claim her and send the Barren on her way.
Tossing the towel into the dirty receptacle, he exited the room and headed toward his temporary quarters near the command deck. To keep up his ruse of taking Vala as a mistress, he went every evening toward his originally assigned quarters and entered the room adjacent his, which had a secret passage. But his main living space was currently down the corridor from his seat of command.
The instant he stood inside the cleaning area of his temporary quarters and the hot spray caressed his body, he gripped his swollen cock and closed his eyes. A picture of Vala, nude and on fours, filled his mind. As he stroked himself, he imagined taking her hard and making her scream. Unlike his visions before meeting the female, he didn’t see himself covered in blood.
To be honest, all his visions recently had centered around the female as if he were merely a male and she a female, with violence nowhere to be seen. Not even battles or fights with other males had made an appearance.
Even in her absence, she’d become a sanctuary.
After spending his last drop, Thorin placed his hands on the walls and let the water wash away the results of his pleasuring.
For a long moment, he wondered what it’d be like to have a female who always kept his rages and violent urges at bay. Not only that, but one to share his secret and help relieve the burden he carried. With his mother’s memories gone and the rest of his family dead, he and the royal family were the only ones who knew about Thorin’s father. And he wasn’t exactly on friendly—let alone speaking—terms with any of the Kelderan royals.
Vala could become that person.
Too bad he would return with the colony ship to Keldera once all the civilians and assigned warriors had been safely delivered to Jasvar and he’d finished setting up the military base. Vala would be foolish to give up her prized place on the Kelderan colony, where she would no doubt have more freedom.
Freedom he wished he could also possess.
A vision of him leading Vala through the purple trees of Jasvar, to the rumored giant waterfall, flashed into his mind. He slowly slipped her dress off one shoulder and then the other. The material dropped to pool at her feet, the sun shining on her naked golden skin. As she swayed her hips and walked into the water, Thorin ripped off his clothes, ran, and jumped in next to her. She squealed at the splash but quickly melted against his side as he hugged her against his chest.
Thorin’s eyes glowed blue, but Vision-Vala looked at him with affection and no trace of horror or disgust.
As the spray from the shower head above him ceased, signaling the end of his daily allotted cleaning solution, Thorin stood and opened his eyes. The longer he stayed away from the female, the more absurd his dreams became.
If he wasn’t careful, he might start to hope for what he could never have.
Still, since he’d both sparred and pleasured himself, he might be able to quickly check on Vala without persuading the female to kiss him or more. And who knew, maybe his visions would become less frequent once he saw her in the flesh.
Glancing to the time keeper on the wall, Thorin had about an hour before he needed to join the warriors during one of their training sessions.
He was still working his way through his initial list of antimonarchy suspects. The training session in an hour would finally give him a chance to investigate the final few warriors he suspected of possible ties. If they all turned out to be innocent, he’d move on to start investigating his list of civilians.
Before he could talk himself out of it, Thorin quickly dressed and headed toward his former quarters. With each step, his heart beat faster in anticipation.
The action reminded him of the possible dangers. Thorin quickly went to work fortifying his mind and clearing his head of emotion. If he couldn’t arrive calm and collected, he would keep walking and avoid Vala.
And for some reason, the thought of not seeing Vala’s face again sent a rush of disappointment through his body.
Warning bells went off inside his head, but Thorin ignored them. After all, he was a seasoned warrior. He could certainly handle a brief visit with a beautiful female and leave unscathed.
~~~
Vala sat in her hover chair next to the replicator as it answered, “Access is prohibited for Vala Yarlen for the requested materials.”
She tapped a finger against the composite material that formed the arm of her chair. “Emergency provisions are allowed.”
“Correct, but the eye drop solution is not part of that list.”
“Tell me what is.”
“Accessing.” The machine whirred a second before repeating the same answer she’d received a hundred times before, “Access denied.”
She sighed and looked to her notescreen. “Computer, replicate a burn emergency kit.”
“Working.”
As the computer didn’t stop and tell her no, Vala must’ve finally found something else she could have.
She glanced at the scattering of vials and bottles on the bed. The replication only seemed to grant her emergency kits. If she couldn’t find some of the key ingredients in her theorized formula, she might have to resort to more drastic measures.
Because if she didn’t regain use of her legs soon, there would be lasting effects to her muscles. If they atrophied, Vala didn’t want to endure physical therapy and miss the chance to fly a shuttle on Jasvar for longer than she had to.
“Burn emergency kit complete,” the computer stated. Just as Vala looked at the object next to her, the door behind her unlocked and swished open.
Since she had expected one of the service robots to bring her latest meal, she didn’t turn around. “Leave it next to the door.”
The door closed and locked a second later. She was just about to ask the replicator to make something else when a familiar male voice filled the room. “Shall I stay standing next to the door?”
She whipped her chair around. Thorin stood bare chested in his tight warrior trousers.
Blinking, she pinched her arm, but Thorin didn’t vanish. She was awake.
When he smiled, she frowned and moved toward him. Her years of training and understanding of her place in society vanished. “You left me.”
His smile faded. “But I am here now.”
A few days ago, Vala would’ve merely bowed her head and let the matter drop. But fire burned in her belly and the words came out before she could stop them. “Is that supposed to erase your treatment of me? You claimed I had worth, and yet you left me with no access or contact with anyone.” She waved around the room. “You locked me in a prison.”
“Barren are used to solitude. Besides, I was protecting you.”
“Barren may be isolated from nondefective Kelderans, but we have friends and family within the citadels.”
“You are not defective,” he growled.
“Are you saying that so you can earn my good graces again? Because that’s not nearly enough. I want my freedom, sir.”
Thorin’s eyes flashed. “My name is Thorin. And there’s only one way to regain it, but that must wait.”
“No, I won’t ever accept your claiming.”
Thorin raised an eyebrow. “Then you will remain paralyzed. Is that what you want?”
“Of course not. But I won’t stay this way.” She picked up her notescreen. “I discovered the cause of my paralysis.”
He stilled. “You are mistaken.”
“Am I? You are part Brevkan, correct?”
For a long moment, Thorin didn’t move or even seem to breathe. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and dangerous. “Be careful of what you say, Vala Yarlen. I control your future.”
At his threat, she increased the chair’s distance from the floor until she could look Thorin in the eyes. The fire roaring inside her drowned out all reason. “I will not resort to petty insults or stereotypes, even though you seem to apply them to me. You are more incompetent than I when it comes to how to interact with people. Being distant and pushing them away, or lording authority over them, may work with others but not with me. I assume the royal family knows of your origins, yes?” When Thorin remained silent, she had her answer. “Then you need to be careful, sir. Because Princess Kalahn is waiting for me on Jasvar. And even if she doesn’t know the truth, I suspect her brother, Prince Kason, does since all the male heirs are privy to Keldera’s secrets and classified information. On top of that, Prince Kason’s bride is also waiting for my arrival. If you punish me unnecessarily, they will take my side. In that instance, your future becomes uncertain.”
She didn’t know if Taryn and Kalahn would go to such lengths to help Vala, but she kept her face free of concern. The bluff was worth trying.
Thorin shook his head. “The colony agreement prohibits criminals from joining the colony. Not even you are immune. I could easily have you arrested.”
She leaned her face closer to his. “And when they find me chair-bound, what then? Even without me spilling your secret, others may look into my account of how it happened and figure it out themselves.”
He growled. “No one will find out.”
Her heart thundered inside her chest, but she was too angry to acknowledge any fear. “Why? Are you going to kill me and make it look like an accident?”
“I would never harm you intentionally.”
She blinked at his words. “What?”
“Now who’s judging whom? No one will find out because you will walk again soon enough.”
He leaned closer until his breath caressed her cheek. Rationally, she knew she should move away and order him out.
Yet his heat and scent comforted her in a way she couldn’t explain.
No. She wouldn’t let the dishonorable male fool her.
She turned her head, but Thorin’s breath remained hot against her skin. His voice filled the room. “Now that you know the truth, I understand your aversion to kissing me, let alone being in my presence. However, all I need to do is come inside you and you will walk again. If you lean over the bed, I can ease your condition quickly with minimal touching and disappear. I’ll return your freedom and ensure no one tries to harm you. You will never see me again.”
At the disgust in his voice, she chanced a glance at Thorin. The shame and hatred in his gaze eased her anger. A flicker of sadness and concern washed through her body.
The powerful warrior hated who he was, and Vala had only fed his demons.
Still, he had abandoned her and she wouldn’t forgive him so easily. But to allow him to think she didn’t want him for circumstances beyond his control was wrong. “My anger has nothing to do with your genetics, Thorin.”
At his name, Thorin reached out and touched her cheek. When she didn’t flinch, he asked, “Why? My father was the enemy and forced himself upon my mother. I’m a product of shame. Don’t feel obligated to protect my feelings.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what? I only speak the truth.”
“No, you speak what others expect you to say. When you do, they win. Never let them win your mind, Thorin. If you don’t fight for yourself, no one will.”
~~~
At Vala’s words, Thorin searched her gaze for deceit or platitudes. Before his mother’s sister had been killed during a Brevkan raid toward the end of the conflict, she had also said he shouldn’t allow others to determine his worth when he was a child.
Yet as he risked stroking Vala’s cheek, her expression remained fierce. He didn’t dare to hope that she didn’t find him repulsive.
Instead, he focused on her words. “What did others do to you to merit such a response?”
She shook her head but didn’t try to dislodge his finger from her skin. The brush of his skin against hers only reminded him of how soft she was.
Vala answered, “Don’t try to change the subject. I know my place in our society, but their view doesn’t dictate my worth. I do what I must to stay out of prison, but I don’t allow the actions or words of my life outside the citadel to take hold in my heart or mind. You should do the same when it comes to your Brevkan half.”
“We both know that I can’t do that. Unlike you, I don’t have a refuge to hide with others like me or can afford to act without worry. One glimpse of my glowing eyes and half of the people near me would try to kill me.”
He mentally cursed at acknowledging one of his Brevkan physical traits.
Wanting to distract Vala from his comment, Thorin spit out, “Besides, after the amount of pain my existence caused my mother, I deserve a life of isolation and penance.”
She inched closer to him until he could feel her breath against his skin as she said, “I disagree. You being alive and raised by your mother tells me that she cared for you. She had other choices. After all, many females abandoned their half-Brevkan offspring to the Barren during the war.”
He frowned. “Since when?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Did you expect us to share this secret and allow the army to retrieve the babies and possibly execute them? Not even the royal family knows about this. There are more Kelderans who have Brevkan blood than you think. They are raised as a Barren if female and can pass as a Kelderan. Males are given to the army as adults if they look Kelderan and feel they can control themselves. If they look more Brevkan—for example, if they have red skin which no Kelderan has—they are sequestered in secret enclaves at locations I don’t even know about.”
Thorin knew the Barren often accepted unwanted children. It was the only way some of the females would have offspring to raise of their own since there weren’t enough infertile babies to give to each Barren female who wanted a child.
But to take in Brevkan bastards? Impossible. “Your claim seems improbable. Otherwise, you would’ve recognized me for who I was when my eyes glowed.”
“Just because I learned the secret by mistake doesn’t mean I was involved in raising the abandoned children, male or female. All of them would be grown by now since the war ended decades ago. Besides, only a Barren Mother knew where the children had been raised. The females raising the boys would’ve known the signs and also would’ve helped the males to control themselves. I never had any contact.”
“What do you mean you discovered this by accident?”
She looked to the side. He cupped her cheek and forced her gaze back. She murmured, “Before I condemn myself, am I talking with General Jarrell or just Thorin?”
He didn’t hesitate. “Just Thorin.” He grunted. “Tell me. I don’t like when you keep secrets from me.”
Thorin resisted backing away from Vala. The female owed him nothing. Why would he state such a thing?
However, she spoke again before he could act. “Before being assigned to any ships, I often took care of the elderly Barren back on Keldera. One time, a female was quite ill with a high fever. She spoke often about a few of the children she raised. More than once she pleaded with them to treasure the gift of life instead of resenting it; they were loved and her children. When she recovered, I talked with her in private and she told me everything. However, it was a secret that I couldn’t share with anyone or it could risk the lives of all those living in hiding. And despite the fact I should’ve reported it when applying for a starship assignment via requirements in the contract about full disclosure, I kept all of this to myself. Until now.”
“So I could find others like me, possibly even aboard this ship?” he whispered.
She shrugged. “Perhaps. I imagine they’ve found ways around genetic scans, same as you, which means they could’ve joined the colony. To be honest, that makes sense to me. There are many of us who wish for greater freedom to be our true selves. The Jasvarian colony is that rare chance to do just that.”
At the longing in her voice, Vala’s revelation took a backseat. He didn’t want to cause her any more hurt.
Not to the female who was more accepting of his heritage than anyone since his mother and aunt. More than anything, he wanted to ease her anger and settle things between them.
He threaded his fingers through her hair. “I didn’t consider that your isolation would be a form of punishment to you.”
He expected her to push away his arm, but she merely placed a hand on his bicep. Her warm touch caused his belly to flip.
Thorin was on dangerous ground.
“Then tell me why haven’t you visited before now?” Vala asked.
“I couldn’t.”
She raised her brows. “Explain.”
Thorin was the ranking officer aboard the colony ship. He had no reason to heed her order.
But at her gentle touch against his arm, combined with her curious gaze, he couldn’t help but say, “You are a temptation and distraction. I can’t risk the lives of everyone aboard this vessel.”
Her brows knitted together. “You aren’t making any sense. If you want to assuage my anger, then tell me the whole truth, Thorin. Does your keeping away have to do with what caused my paralysis?”
He liked it when she used his name. He had a feeling that if he didn’t tell her everything, she would never speak his name again.
There were many reasons for him to refuse the female and simply walk away, especially since he currently had a new secret goal—to find others like him who led secret lives.
However, it had been years since his mother had been cognizant enough to discuss his Brevkan-half. While unfair to Vala, he wanted to unload some of the weight off his shoulders.
Still, he wouldn’t touch her while he did so. He couldn’t risk one of his urges to surface and make his actions unpredictable.
Or, worse, he frightened or disgusted her.
Thorin stepped back and walked to the opposite side of the room. To avoid the questions in Vala’s eyes, he kept his back to her as he spoke. “My Brevkan-half recognized you as my possession—a thing to be claimed and to accept my seed. When my instinct recognizes a possession, I exude a specific pheromone that only affects the possession in question; I’m unaware when I do so and had no idea I even could as a halfling until I found you unconscious. The paralysis is to ensure you can’t run away and escape my intentions.”
Vala’s soft voice filled the room. “Is that why you kept your distance? Because you feel the urge to claim me?”
He gave a cruel laugh. “It’s not a set-up for a claiming, but rape. Full-blooded Brevkan probably can’t resist the pull. I can barely contain it as I am.”
“But you did. More than that, you’re doing it again now.”
At her words, he glanced over his shoulder. Vala’s expression was kind and patient. He blinked at the unexpected emotions.
He had never thought himself worthy of kindness, but Vala’s words from earlier, about acting the way others expected of him, resonated inside his mind. Maybe he deserved more than he gave himself leave to expect.
An image of her naked with her legs wrapped around his waist flashed into his mind.
Severing eye contact, he faced away from her again. “If you could peer into my mind, you wouldn’t think me so honorable.”
“Our minds are private places. All males have indecent thoughts. I’ve heard many a fantasy whispered during a fever.”
He shook his head. “It’s not the same. I can’t control my visions and many of them are barbaric. If you saw even a glimpse of one, it would give you nightmares.”
The hover chair’s electronics hummed, signaling movement. But he resisted looking back at Vala.
However, when her hand touched his shoulder, it took all of his training and experience to prevent himself from jumping. Her voice was like a caress over his body as she said, “You are not your father, Thorin. If you tell me the whole truth about why you stayed away from me, it will prove you’re an honorable male.”
He did meet Vala’s gaze. “How are you so sure?”
“Because my gut tells me so.”
As he stared into Vala’s dark eyes, Thorin debated what to do. The more he talked with the female, the more he yearned to know her better.
However, they were destined to part ways within weeks. He should do everything in his power to push her away.
Then she moved her hand to lightly brush his cheek with her forefinger, and his restraint faded. Even if it were only for a short while, he would confide in Vala Yarlen and enjoy her company. After all, it would give him something to recall in the future, when he needed to think of positive memories to chase away his barbaric visions.
He turned and faced Vala. “I stayed away from you because if I attempt to claim you, I don’t think I would be able to leave your side until I was completely sated, if that is even possible. You tempt me, Vala, in a way no other has before.”