Chapter Twelve
Kalen looks at me and his eyes widen. “What in Harthu’s name are you doing here?”
I swallow. “Zimri…thought it a better idea to send me here.”
He closes his eyes briefly while uttering a curse under his breath. He takes off his cloak, hangs it on a peg, and then turns toward me.
“Why are you on the balcony? Are you going to leap off the ledge, like you jumped from the Port?” My shoulders tense, until I see the amusement in his eyes. “I should warn you, there’s no water at the bottom. Just a solid rock patio. And it’s a two-story drop, so it won’t kill you, but it won’t be kind to your fragile little body, either.”
Breathe. Remember to breathe.
“I-I’m not going to jump.” I look down, try to remember all the blasted rules Briala gave me, and realize I’m supposed to be kneeling at the foot of the bed.
Kalen begins walking toward me. My heart rate picks up as he gets closer. He stops right in front of me, the citrusy scent of his cologne filling the air around us, enticing and alluring. I’m struck by the depth of his eyes. They’re deep violet, with specks of lighter hues. Like sparkling lavender wine. He reaches out like he’s going to touch me, and I tense. He stops himself, lowers his hand to his side, and studies me. I let out a relieved breath.
“How did you manage to get caught, little native? I thought I told you to stay far away from Tavdorians.”
“My friends turned me in.”
“Wow. Some friends you have.”
“You can send me back, though, right? To Earth?” My voice comes out in a hopeful squeak.
His brows furrow. “Earth is crawling with slave traders and mercenaries reaping the last of the natives off the planet. I’m not sure you want to go back.”
“Slave traders? Like you?”
He winces. “Yes. But I can assure you, they’re not nearly as kind as my men were to you.”
He thinks I was treated kindly?
“You Tavdorians have a funny way of showing kindness.” The words slip out in a broken whisper that I realize too late might have been the wrong thing to say.
Kalen lifts his hand, and I instinctively flinch, expecting a blow to the head. It seems to be the way Tavdorians keep control around here. But he only drags his fingers through his feathery curls and across the back of his neck, then begins pacing.
“I’m sorry you were taken from your home. But there’s nothing I can do now. We’re light-years from your planet and only take trips there every six months or so.”
I wonder if Mom will even be alive in six months. I remember the cough wracking her lungs, the lesions spreading across her body. I’d give her a few months, Daniel had said. Certainly less than a year.
I suppose six months is better than never.
“I can…wait till then.”
He laughs humorlessly. “I’m not in charge of shipments. I was only shadowing when I went to Earth. Father would never let me take a slave worth a thousand pecs and just…release her on Earth. And if he did, it would only be so you could lead him to your community. And then he’ll enslave all of them.” He studies me, gauging my reaction. “Do you get what I’m saying? I have no control. I answer to my father.”
Hopelessness seeps into my marrow. But if I can’t get back to Earth…
“Then what will become of me? Y-you can’t send me back to the Port.”
The wariness in his eyes makes my blood go cold.
“I might not have control over your fate,” he mumbles.
“But—I belong to you now. Zimri gave me to you.”
“As a prank. No documents were signed. He obviously thought I’d have my sport with you and be done, the sick bastard he is. But he and father will expect you to return to the Port to be sold as a native. I’m sorry. It’s just the way it is.” He blinks and looks away, clearly uncomfortable.
I look down at my knotted fingers. “I wouldn’t last a day out there.”
“You’ll have to learn very quickly, then. I’m much more lenient than most Tavdorians. Your behavior is unacceptable out there.” He sighs and shakes his head. “The way you’re acting could easily earn you a death sentence. For a slave to speak of freedom is treason.” His voice is low. Almost…regretful. “Your life is on the line. Always. Every second. I saved you from a death sentence today and yesterday. Don’t even consider running away. You’ll never make it back to Earth alive, and even if by some grand miracle you did, it wouldn’t be long before another slave trader found you and handed you off to a worse fate. There’s no—there’s no escape from this life. Not now.”
My heart sinks and I stare at the floor, all hope draining from my veins. What will become of Mom? She lost both her children, and her life is hanging by a thread as it is. Terrence—who knows if he’s even alive? I’d never felt so bleak, so empty and stripped of hope as I do now. My future has been robbed from me.
“Gods.” Kalen drags his hand down the length of his face, then reaches for me. “Come here.” He gently draws me into an embrace. I tense, a shocked breath escaping me, but then slowly wrap my arms around his firm waist. He strokes my hair, and it’s all I can do to keep myself together. I forgot how incredibly therapeutic a simple hug could be. “If you stay out of Father’s way, maybe he’ll forget about you.” He pulls away. “For now, make yourself at home.” He steps toward his bed.
“You’re not—you’re not going to…” I can’t finish the sentence. It’s too humiliating, this thing I was sent here for.
He stops by his bed and slowly turns around. Something in his eyes tells me this conversation is excruciatingly uncomfortable for him.
“I’ve no wish to sleep with you.”
I’ve never appreciated my lack of beauty until now. If I believed in this world’s gods, I would thank them.
“What am I supposed to do, then?” I ask.
He sinks down on the edge of his round bed and unfastens his leather sandals. “If you’re lucky enough for Father not to notice you, then you could stay in the estate as…extra help.” He shrugs. “Or a dancer, if you prefer. But I forbid you to leave the estate.”
“Why? If you have no use for me here, why—”
“Because it’s not safe out there,” he says through gritted teeth. My outspokenness clearly annoys him, or scares him, I’m not sure which. But when his eyes meet mine, the concern I find there tells me it’s the latter. “You’re nothing to a Tavdorian. Nothing. A small human like you wandering around the streets alone—” He shakes his head and looks away. “A Tavdorian man wouldn’t give a second thought before he—” He presses his lips together, then looks at me again with those dazzling eyes. “Just do as I say. Understand?”
I nod.
“You may leave.”
I turn toward the door and hurry out of the room, and find Briala sitting on a stool in the kitchen. Her lips tug into a wry smile. “That was quick.”
“Nothing happened.” Thank the mother of all suns.
“Obviously. Dressed like that.” Her eyes linger on my tunic in distaste, then she lifts her eyes to mine. She stands and makes her way to the door, then pauses. “Like I said, Human, our master likes his women experienced. He also prefers Onmarians to Humans, which is why I’m surprised he sent you here in the first place. Doesn’t look like you’ll last long, though, since he’s already bored of you.” She walks out of the kitchen, her hips swaying beneath her dress.
My emotions spent, I step into the slaves’ quarters, collapse onto my cot, stare at the suffocating darkness around me. Make yourself at home, he said. As though I were an honored guest and not his slave.
I haven’t had a chance to catch my breath since I arrived on this planet. And everything that happened today—the rage, the fear, the grief—it whirls around in my head, keeping sleep elusive. There’s no escape from this life. Not now. The numbness creeps through my veins. I’m realizing that I was never free, anyway. We Humans are always inferior. Three-quarters of a Tavdorian, to be exact. No matter how untouched by the Tavdorian hand we were in our community on Earth, we were still slaves.
Closing my eyes, I curl into a tight ball, listen to the deep breathing of the others in the slave quarters, and try to sleep. But sleep is where the memories find me. They’re my escape, the one thing I have control over. Tonight’s memory takes place outside the dining hall of Daniel’s house, the night before Terrence left. Daniel’s gruff voice drifted out of the room.
“You should stay here,” he told the visitors. “Make a living with us. It’s too dangerous anywhere else, and we’ve remained hidden for so long.”
“The parasites are closing in,” one of the visitors said. “They’re inhabiting the majority of the flatlands, but for some reason are leaving the mountains alone. Word is they don’t like the altitude, so that’s where we’re headed.”
“And then what? Make a living in a cave, just you four?”
“They’re building an army in a place called Colorado.”
Daniel gave a dry laugh. “An army? Our people couldn’t stand against the aliens as a united world with weapons. You think a small tribe in the mountains with nothing but knives and arrows is going to be able to ward off these parasites? You all are crazy.”
Just hear them out, I wanted to say.
“At least we’re hopeful,” the man said. “This is our planet. And we will fight for it, or die trying. What is life when you have to stay hidden in the forest, make secret trips to the abandoned town for supplies, live in fear every single day?”
“It’s life,” Daniel said. “We’re surviving. At least we’re not going on some suicide rampage.”
Tense silence invaded the room. I almost walked away, when I heard one of the other visitors say, “We are traveling to the mountains at dawn. Anyone from your camp is welcome to join us.”
They did leave, and took five of our best with them, including Terrence. That was over a year ago, and I’ll never know if he lived through the trip, if he died, or if he’s somewhere here on Tavdora, working as an insignificant slave. Like me.
A spasmodic cough pulls me from a deep sleep. Mom—she’s having another fit. This one’s worse than the others—far worse. Have to make her tea. My eyelids slide open and I roll toward the edge of the bed, but miscalculate and fall off—onto a foreign stone floor.