Chapter Eighteen
Brynn
I know I shouldn’t have slept with Bentley. That I am currently making a huge mistake, but I can’t help it. He has always been the one thing that I’ve wanted more than anything else. The moment I saw him in the bike shop, I knew that he would wreck my world. I just never realized that I would sleep with him on the night of my engagement party to another man.
The best sex of my life comes from a man that could barely be in the same room as me two years ago, and now he doesn’t want me to leave.
The truth is, I can’t go home. I know that Aaron is probably there waiting for me and that sounds even worse than staying here with Bentley.
When he kissed me in front of everyone, I felt like I was right where I belonged. In his arms, the one place that I always dreamed of being. I sound like a moron pining for a guy that barely even acknowledges me unless it’s to bring me my favorite lunches every day since he’s come back to town. A small gesture that means more than I ever thought possible.
My hand goes to my cheek, and it feels slightly swollen and warm to the touch. As soon as he looks at me again, I put my hand down and try to think of what to say to him. I know he said that I could walk away if I wanted, but I don’t think I can. Even if he told me the worst thing in the world, I don’t think I’m strong enough to walk away. I never was.
“I left because I knew that seeing you every damn day was going to kill me. I wanted you more than anything I’ve ever wanted, and you were untouchable. My sister threatened to chop my dick off if I hurt you and I’m slightly attached to him so I gave her my word. I had done pretty well at it until you were at the club. I took one look at you, and I knew that I couldn’t stay away even if I tried.”
I bite the inside of my cheek because I don’t know how I feel about this so far. Anslie was trying to protect me from her brother’s sleazy ways, but I can protect myself. I don’t need people always fighting my battles for me.
“The asshole had his hands on you, and I saw red. I had to get him the fuck away from you. After that night, I wanted to say I was sorry for what happened, but my pride got in the way. You see me. You see the man I am, and I know it makes you think twice about me. I’m no good, I know that, but I care about you more than any other woman. I left because if I didn’t, I would have claimed you. I would have drug you so far deep into my life that you would never find your way back out. It would have consumed you, every perfect fucking inch.” His eyes trail down my body before they come back to my eyes.
"Seeing you with that dick that you were going to marry just about killed me. I should never have left." I don't let him continue. I move closer to him and kiss him hard, knocking us both back onto the mattress. His hands slide up the sides of my neck, and he holds my head to him, not letting our mouths separate.
He rolls us until I’m on my back and he’s laying on top of me, pushing me into the mattress with his weight.
“How many?” I question when our mouths finally break apart. I need to know how many women he was with when he was gone. I know it won’t change anything and will only break my heart a little more, but I need to know. My mind won’t stop thinking about it until I know the truth.
“How many what, Brynn?” His voice is a low murmur, but the look in his eyes tells me he knows exactly what I’m asking.
“How many women? How many women were you with while you were gone?”
He doesn’t say anything for a long time, and I can feel my heart crack a little more. "Does it matter?" he finally asks. I nod my head, not sure that I can force the words out. This nagging fear is starting to come over me, and suddenly I don’t want to know the answer anymore. Maybe living in a bubble about it will be better. At least then I don’t have to imagine him with another woman.
“Two.”
I close my eyes and let out the breath that I was holding. Two. Two. I can deal with two. My mind can deal with two other women. I mean it’s not like I was holding out either. I was dating Aaron most of the time, and it’s not like we didn’t have sex.
He didn’t whore around while wherever the hell he was. I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders even though I know I shouldn’t be even thinking about anything more than this moment with him.
I just ended things with Aaron maybe an hour ago, and I’m already in Bentley’s bed. God, I am a whore. Tears start to pool in my eyes, and as one escapes and falls down my cheek, he frowns. His finger wipes away the tear, and he asks, “Why are you crying?”
He settles between my thighs, forcing my dress to bunch up even further. “I’m a whore,” I sob out. I am seriously a wreck. I don’t know how he could ever think that I’m hot or whatever it is he thinks.
He kisses both of my cheeks before whispering, “You are not a whore. You are so far from that it’s crazy.”
I hiccup and try to force the words out. “No, I’m a whore. Not even two hours ago I was supposed to be celebrating my engagement, and now I’m here, in your bed.” I motion to the bed we are in, and he just watches me, not saying a word.
"Do you want to marry a man who will hit you because of a disagreement?" This shuts me up effectively. I don't say a word; I just shake my head no before closing my eyes. He's right. Aaron hit me. He backhanded me because I admitted to Anslie that I was in love with Bentley.
A knock at the door silences us both. He moves off of me, and I straighten my dress and hair the best I can before moving to the edge of the bed. Bentley buttons his jeans and pulls the door open to show his sister and Brant.
“Brynn?” Anslie asks in a small voice. “Is everything okay?” I nod my head, yes, and she comes over to the bed, taking a seat next to me and pulling my hand into hers.
The door shuts, and when I know they are both now out into the hall, the tears start to fall. I cry on Anslie’s shoulder, and she just lets me. She doesn’t say a word, and part of me is grateful. I don’t want to hear how big of a mistake I’m making or that Aaron was the better choice or whatever she might be thinking. I just need my friend.
"What happened? Why did he hit you?" Her voice is soft and soothing. I had planned on not telling anyone; I end up spilling everything to her.
“He heard when I told you that I loved your brother. He asked me in the truck if I loved Bentley and I said yes. Then he said it wasn’t in the past and that he couldn’t believe that I loved one of them. He acted like the guys were only good enough to work on bikes and nothing else. I got a little mad, and then he hit me and called me a biker whore. He said something else as I got out of the truck, but I didn’t hear it.”
"Oh my God. And here I thought that Aaron was one of the good ones. I swore he loved you and that he was the one or I would have never pushed you to keep dating him." I know she just wanted me to be happy when Aaron and I started dating. The guys didn't like him, but I did. Or at least I thought I did.
“I should have told Bent a long time ago that you were in love with him. If I hadn't threatened bodily harm to his, er um, package, this would have never happened. I’m sorry. I’m just glad you got out of the truck. I’ve been on the other side of abuse, and I would never wish that on my worst enemy.”
My lip trembles as she admits to things that I never knew about her. She doesn’t talk a whole lot about before she moved back home, but I know that she and Brant had some issues before. She once told me that he didn’t even know he was a father until the twins were almost three.
“You don’t have to say anything else, Ans.” I don’t want her to blame herself for something that she couldn’t have stopped. I would have continued to date Aaron even without her pushing me toward him because I thought I was falling for him. He said and did everything right. He treated me like I was special.
A stray tear falls down my cheek, and I wipe it off just as the door to the room opens. The guys walk back in, and Brant reaches out for Anslie’s hand. She takes his, and he pulls her up and off the bed. “Let’s leave them alone.” He turns to Bentley before slapping him on the shoulder. “Stay alert.” Bentley nods his head, but he doesn’t say a word.
Anslie kisses my cheek before walking out of the room with Brantley following a step behind her.
Bentley reaches out and wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me up and into his body. I sigh in relief and rest my cheek against his chest before closing my eyes. This night has been a nightmare. I should have known that he was almost too good to be true, but I was blinded. I was angry at Bentley and used Aaron as a smokescreen to hide all my feelings for Bentley.
“I have nowhere to go. He’s probably back at our apartment.” Bentley stops me by putting his finger to my lips.
“Don’t. We will deal with everything tomorrow. Let’s just get you to bed.” I nod my head, agreeing with whatever because right now I'm just too tired even to try and think of my next move. The only thing I want to do is close my eyes and pray that everything will go back to calm and normal in the morning even though I know it won't.
Everything is going to change, and I don’t know what to think, let alone do. Let’s just hope that Bentley doesn’t kill Aaron and go to prison for the rest of his life.
He kisses the side of my neck before he reaches down to grab the bottom of my dress. Slowly he pulls it over my head before tossing it on the ground with the rest of his dirty clothes. Or at least I think they are dirty clothes. He could just be really messy.
I watch him as he strips off his button-down before tossing it with the rest of the clothes, followed by his jeans. He walks back over to me buck naked. We are both naked and about to go to bed together for the first time. Sure we’ve had sex twice now, but now I’m nervous.
“Babe, we’ve had sex a couple of times, and you are shy to jump in bed with me.” I nod my head in embarrassment, and he just grins his sexy as shit grin. I feel myself melt a little at just his smile and I hate that he still holds power over me even after all this time.