It was pitch black outside as the bus pulled up to the depot in Utah. Not wanting to burden my sister with having to leave her house to come get me, I called a cab to take me the rest of the way to her house. Fortunately, I’d written her address down so I could put it in my GPS or I would have had no clue where I was going.

I thought a lot about my sister during the ride over and hated how we had kind of drifted apart lately. If there was one good thing that was coming from all of this, it was being able to rekindle the bond we had.

If I knew her at all, she would have some kind of food prepared to be heated up and at least a couple bottles of wine ready to be opened so I could attempt to drown my troubles. I really did love my sister so very much. Growing up, we were always there for one another when the other needed a shoulder to cry on. It was nice to see that some things never changed.

During the ride, I also thought a lot about Steve. The relationship didn’t have to be a total wash. The good times we had outweighed the bad ones by far. I also learned some important life lessons and I was hoping he did as well.

Steve really wasn’t a bad guy. Sure, he wasn’t faithful and I had no idea how long that had been going on, but that alone didn’t make him a bad guy. He and I just weren’t right for one another. It sucked that it took me so long to figure that out, but at least I finally knew and could start to heal and move on with my life.

When the taxi pulled up in front of my sister’s house, I paid the driver, grabbed my bag, and stood on the street, looking at the gorgeous place she now resided. I couldn’t believe it. I was in a different state, but I was back in suburbia once again.

I needed a bath and some fresh clothes in the worst possible way. One thing I knew for sure was that I needed to get some leather. Not necessarily because I wanted to wear it, even though I did. I wanted it because I was already missing the smell and having it would make me feel close to Steel.

What was the protocol when visiting your sister at her new house for the first time? Do you just walk on in? For some reason, bursting in just didn’t feel right, so I knocked on the door instead. After a few moments, the porch light came on and I could hear the deadbolt being pulled back.

“Sara, oh thank God,” she said as she wrapped her arms around me. “I’ve been so worried about you. I’ve been trying to call you but your phones been going straight to voicemail. I was afraid something might have happened to you.”

“I’m sorry I worried you, Suzanne. I lost my phone somewhere and haven’t had a chance to get a new one.”

“Where’s your car?”

“I had to leave it behind. It’s gonna be a while before it gets fixed. I took a bus and then rode in a cab from the bus station. I’m just so happy to finally be here.”

“I’m so happy you’re here,” she said, giving me yet another hug. “Come on in, I bet you’re exhausted.”

Exhausted wasn’t the right word for what I was feeling. It was something well beyond that. I was feeling a combination of emotions and was actually afraid I might be on the verge of a mental breakdown.

“Are you hungry? I made a lasagna and have a bottle of Moscato cold and ready to be opened whenever you’d like.”

I knew her like the back of my hand. “I’m starving, but would you mind if I took a bath first? I haven’t bathed since I left my house.”

“Absolutely. The bathroom is just down the hall. It’s the last door on the left. Towels and rags are in the closet right next to it. Take your time and I’ll meet you out here when you’re done.”

The bath was amazing. She had a garden tub and it almost felt like I was bathing in a swimming pool. I laid back and let the water soothe my aching muscled, which were as tense as they’d ever been. I had no idea how long I laid in the tub, but I didn’t get out until the water had turned cold.

Back with my sister, she was making quite the fuss over me, waiting on my hand and foot. She was definitely being over the top but in her mind, she was just taking care of her little sister who was trying to get over her cheating partner.

With as much as she was taking care of me, I started to feel guilty because I couldn’t tell her what I had really been doing before I made my way to her house.

Suzanne and I spent the entire night drinking wine while talking about anything and everything that crossed our minds. She told me about her new job and I shared the full story of how I busted Steve cheating on me.

No, nothing would ever be the same again. I knew that for a fact. Still, I could never tell anyone about my adventure.

The sun was peeking out from the clouds before she grabbed me a blanket and pillow.

“I’m going to bed. You should probably get some sleep too,” she told me.

“I will sis. Thank you so much for letting me stay with you for a while.”

“It’s my pleasure. See you when we wake up.”

After she went upstairs to bed, I spent the next hour crying quietly to myself on the sofa. I missed Steel so much.