We left the theater and walked back to the car in silence. Our date sucked, bad, but it was to be expected. I was a mess and Beck had a shitty past. It just wasn’t in the cards. He parked the car at the curb and ran his hand into his hair, sighing. When he wouldn’t even look at me, I leaned over to kiss his cheek before climbing out of the car and starting up the walk. I wasn’t mad. I didn’t really care who he had slept with before me, but after running into Dennis and Cynthia, he shut down. I was almost to the porch when the car door slammed, and Beck came jogging after me.

He didn’t slow his momentum the closer he got, and I squealed when he picked me up, slamming his lips to mine, and backing us into the side of house. I shoved my hands into his hair, climbing him to get closer. He kissed me like he had the day before on couch, hard and demanding. Desperation on both sides fueled our mouths battling for the upper hand. An embarrassing moan came out when he ground his dick against my hip and groped for my ass. I wrapped my legs around his waist and Beck growled, thrusting his tongue in my mouth. The siding would leave bruises on my back, but I didn’t care. Nothing really mattered when he kissed me like that. Add the massive bulge hitting all the right spots, and I was about to lose it in the front yard. He left my mouth to kiss down my throat.

“I want to fuck you senseless right now, Doll,” Beck dragged his teeth across my collarbone, and I shuddered, “I want to ruin every sweet and innocent thing about you,” I nodded at his every word, “You haven’t been treated right, so I know you haven’t been properly fucked, but I’m gonna fix that.” I pulled his head closer to my neck and he licked up to my ear, sinking his teeth in gently.

“Yes, please.” I whimpered, digging my nails into the back of his neck.

“Not now, but eventually. I’m taking you home with me and I’ll devour every square inch of you, and you’re gonna beg me to do it,” I pulled his mouth back to mine and he kissed me again, tangling his tongue with mine, plundering my mouth like he was starved for me. I tried to think straight and not beg him to fuck me against the side of the house. Beck slowed the kiss and set my feet back on the grass, “What the fuck are you doing to me?” Our shoulders heaved together, and he rested his head against mine, “You make me completely lose my shit. I can’t control myself.”

“Maybe you don’t have to,” I whispered, kissing him again.

“I came up here to apologize, to walk you to the door like a gentleman, but fuck if you don’t make me crazy,” I kissed his chin and he rubbed his nose into my hair. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” I moved my kiss from his chin down his neck and he groaned, “You make me brave, like nothing I do is wrong.” I kissed back up to his mouth and pressed harder against the bulge behind his zipper. I got another groan when I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth.

“I should walk you in because if we stay right here, someone is calling the cops, and both of us would be guilty of indecent exposure.” Beck whispered against my lips, his hot breath spreading out over me, making me sigh. I nodded, and he backed up to adjust himself, and took my hand. I dug my key from my back pocket and shoved it in the lock as the door opened to reveal Griffin. He looked between us then gestured us in. Cori stopped at the top of the stairs in her pajamas and waved for us to come up, but Beck pulled me back before I made it up two steps.

“What?”

“I’m gonna go, Doll,” He looked from me to my sister and kissed my head, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I hope you enjoyed tonight,” I stood on my toes and kissed him quickly, “Thanks for letting me kidnap her, Cori. Night.” Beck let go of my hand and waved over his shoulder. Griffin closed the door gently behind him. I stared blankly at the closed door, wishing he’d stayed.

“I was gonna be nice,” Cori insisted, almost pouting, “I was even going to offer coffee.” My sister hugged me quickly and waltzed into the kitchen, “So… How was it?”

I sighed and pulled my insulin from the fridge, “Awkward, but good. I don’t know. We had dinner at a café and then went to the symphony. He’s so sweet.” I’d never get used to the little sting of injecting myself.

Griffin popped the top on a beer, “Beck Layton took you to the symphony?” I nodded, “I’ll be damned.”

“So, what was awkward? Sounds like the guy has your number,” Cori handed me a bottle of water. I looked up at her and followed her to the couch and laid my head in her lap, nuzzling into my niece, “The baby makes it awkward, huh?”

I nodded, “But only for me, I guess. We ran into this couple he knows, and they congratulated us on the baby and Beck thanked them. He didn’t even hesitate, but it’s weird for me. I haven’t completely wrapped my head around it, but he’s totally accepted it. He introduced me as his girlfriend.” I sighed and rubbed Cori’s belly. I didn’t mention who the couple was, that would have pissed my sister off something awful.

“Now I’ll be damned,” My sister laughed, “Maybe you should just go with it? If he doesn’t care who the baby belongs to, maybe you should let him work through it however he needs to.” I nodded and closed my eyes while Cori smoothed my hair.

“I don’t want him to feel responsible for my shit, though. This baby is my drama, not his. What if this turns into something and he wants to be responsible and then resents me, us, for it?” I swallowed back tears, “I couldn’t deal with that, Cori.”

Griffin cleared his throat and I remembered that he was in the room, “I’ll start by saying, I’ve never seen Beck be responsible about anything, but a real man would never resent his woman. Beck’s different now. Ax is just as much mine as Celia, and I wouldn’t change a damn thing. That little girl lights up my world.” A tear fell from Cori’s face into my hair.

“I love you, Honey.”

“Love you, Babe. Just don’t push him away for being the man you need him to be, Mere.” Griffin kissed Cori, patted my shoulder, and made his way down the hall to their room.

I pushed myself up and wiped the tears from my face, “Please go reward that man,” Cori laughed through the tears and kissed my head, “Night, Cori.” I watched her hurry down the hallway after her man. The pep talk from Griffin and Cori helped more than I ever could have hoped. I pulled my phone out and sent Beck a text, walking to my room. It was weird asking him for his number, so I stole it from Griffin.

I settled on my bed and kicked my shoes off. The music from the symphony was still dancing through my head, and Beck’s dirty words put to music made me really wish I had a vibrator, or Beck. Definitely Beck. My phone buzzed and I snapped back to reality from my very dirty thoughts. I couldn’t even remember my last orgasm, but Beck pinning me to the wall and rubbing against me nearly got me off. I couldn’t wait to get him out of his work clothes to explore all the fun things underneath. My hormones were worse than a rollercoaster.

If he wanted to give it a shot, I could too. There was no denying our chemistry. I shoved my insecurities aside and answered the phone when it rang, “Hey.”

“Hey, Doll. Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Beck sounded tired.

“Probably, but you called me. I know tonight didn’t go the way you wanted, but it was wonderful.” I laid back and closed my eyes.

“I’m glad you’re cutting me that slack I asked for,” Beck sighed, “You too tired to talk a minute?” I hummed a no, and he sighed, “I meant what I said about the baby. Don’t you dare look ashamed when you answer questions, or when someone congratulates you.”

“Do you know how people look at unwed mothers, Beck? We live in the heart of the Bible Belt. I’m young, pregnant, and unmarried. I’m ashamed because the baby didn’t ask for any of this.” A tear slid down my face into the pillow. The hormones would make me crazy.

“Do you know how many single parents are out there, Doll? Tons, hundreds. You didn’t ask for this either, but being ashamed of it isn’t doing anyone any favors,” Beck paused, “And if my pep talk doesn’t help, we can always go get married. Then you won’t get hateful looks and church pamphlets.”

I laughed, but Beck didn’t, “Thanks for the offer. You’re the one who sounds tired, Beck.”

“I am, but I’m serious. You need a husband in a hurry, and I’m your guy.” He yawned.

“Maybe we can revisit the topic after more than one date and a good night’s sleep, okay?” I rolled over and clicked off the lamp next to my bed.

“Whatever you want, Doll. Get some rest, and I’ll see you in the morning. If you still want to see me after tonight,” He yawned again, “If you don’t it’s too bad, because I think I fell in love with you as soon as you passed out in my lap.” He chuckled and the sound made my whole night.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night, Beck.” I hung up before he could say anymore and took my jeans off, tossing them to the corner of my room. I slid under the covers and curled an arm under my pillow. After the hot and heavy making out against the house, my hormones were out of control. Beck mentioned getting tested, but if he had, I didn’t know any results. With work the next morning and an appointment in the afternoon, I needed to sleep, but fantasizing about Beck fucking me against a wall won out. The desire burning through me when he kissed me was a whole new high for me. I never had that with Zeke, not even in the beginning. I rubbed my thighs together, trying to relieve some of the pent-up pressure building, but it did nothing. I wasn’t sure a vibrator would take care of it, even if I had one. I needed Beck to fix it.

Somehow, I managed to get to sleep after making an ass of myself on the phone, and I slept through the mother of all erections. Relieving the offending erection became the goal of the day when I woke up to a text from Meredith instead of my alarm.

I stretched out in bed, trying to ignore my throbbing cock. No way it would work if she kept texting, and I really hoped she kept texting. I tossed my boxers across the room.

I wrapped my fist around my cock and held my phone in the other hand, waiting for her response.

I reread the text three or four times, pumping my hand faster, gripping tighter and picturing the scene she laid out.

Picturing her touching herself put me right there on the cusp. I felt it to my core.

That was all it took. My balls tightened, and I came all over my hand and stomach like a fucking teenager just learning to jack off. Once the fog moved out of my head, I looked down at my still-hard dick in disgust. I suddenly understood her frustration.

I had to wait to get my test results back. If I wasn’t clean, I had no idea what to do. I always wrapped it up, but shit happens and I stayed drunk. I wouldn’t touch her without a clean bill of health, well, not with my cock. There were other ways to be sure Meredith got what she needed and I planned to utilize every single one.

I stripped the rest of the way and tossed my clothes in the hamper. Picturing her in the shower had me ready to jack off again.

I leaned against the counter, mug in hand, and watched the dogs run through the yard. I heard my brother and Harriet coming downstairs. Hearing them have sex was not the highlight of my morning after having a hard-on for hours. Lucky bastard woke up like that every morning and the whole damn house knew it. I had a standing date with my hand until the doctor said otherwise. Briggs waltzed his happy ass in a few minutes later with a giant smile.

“Hey, man! How was last night?” Briggs tossed his coffee cup in the air and caught it before pouring coffee in it.

“Not nearly as entertaining as your morning, but I think it went well,” I glared at him and Ma came in, looking bright and cheery. “I took her to the symphony. Morning, Ma.”

Ma kissed my cheek and I poured her coffee, “Now, I heard you took Meredith on a proper date. Tell me all about it.”

I checked the time and gave up, “We had dinner, went to the symphony, and I took her home. We talked, and it was a good time.” No way was I telling my family about running into Wegman and some woman I fucked who happened to be his wife.

“Is it weird that she’s pregnant?” Briggs smiled at the hall when Harriet came down toward the kitchen, “I totally get love at first sight, but that baby isn’t yours.”

Meredith said the same thing, “Maybe if there was some connection with her and the bastard of a father, I’d feel different, but it doesn’t bother me. He doesn’t even know she’s pregnant. I’m weirdly okay with it.” I sipped my coffee.

“Not to be a dick, but you sure you can handle this? You’re doing great, but a baby is a big deal. If you screw up, it’s not just Meredith, it’s the baby too.” Briggs said what I was thinking, down to the last fucking letter. Meredith said it too, but she had more faith in me than I did in myself. When she said it, I could handle it. When Briggs said it, all I heard was judgement. All I heard was him telling me how bad I was going to fuck it all up.

Of course, I reacted in the most Beck way possible and threw my cup at the sink, snapping the handle from the mug, “Fuck you, Briggs. Don’t be a prick because I go for what I want instead of being a fucking coward about it like you. If I couldn’t do it, do you think I’d be with her? You think I’d put her through that? Go be high and fucking mighty somewhere else.” I stormed off, slammed the front door, and climbed in the car. I beat my palms into the steering wheel before starting the car. Instead of going to work, I went to the gym. I had forty-five minutes and a shitty attitude to burn off before work. I nodded at Kurtis on the way to the locker room to change. I hated myself for the way I treated my brother, but it was like second nature, no matter how hard I tried, I treated Briggs like shit. For once, I felt like he deserved it, though.

Griffin caught me on the treadmill and paced me, glancing at me every few seconds, “Wanna tell me how fucking irresponsible I am too?” I finally snarled at him.

“Uh, no. Just running. Something happen?” Griffin kicked up the pace and I did the same, feeling the burn. Before I sobered up, I could never keep up with Griff, but after, I was on it. Pacing him gave me a renewed sense of accomplishment and my mood started lifting.

“Everyone seems to think I can’t handle Meredith being pregnant,” I panted out the words, “Like I’m too fucking stupid to understand what it means. I get it. I know what it means. I know what having a baby takes. I’m a fucking adult.” I kicked the incline up, trying to run out all my irritation before work, or I would get in trouble.

“Can you handle it though? And before you lose your shit on me, hear me out,” Griffin slowed the treadmill, “I vouched for you last night when Meredith worried about the same thing. I love Axel like she’s mine, but it’s not easy. It took a while for me to not see Ax as a reminder of Cori with someone else. I was no saint, but you know how it is. Thinking of your woman with someone else pisses you off,” I slowed my treadmill, breathing heavy, “When there’s a kid, you’re either in or out. You can’t be flakey, but you already know all that because you’re a fucking adult.”

I thought about the conversation with Meredith the night before and nodded, “Thanks.” Griffin and Cori had time. Ax and Celia were five when they met, they had all the time in the world to bond with each other’s kid. I had a few months to bond with Meredith before her attention fell elsewhere. I turned the treadmill up again and tried to figure out where I fell on the spectrum. I wasn’t in love, yet, but it was coming and fast. It scared the shit out of me.

I ran until I couldn’t anymore and slowed my pace to a jog, then a walk, then turned it off. With fifteen straight minutes of torturous pace, my mind was clear, and I was at peace with my decision. The idea of my own kids scared the fuck out of me, so raising someone else’s wasn’t much better. I had no idea what to do with a child, but the thought of Meredith delivering a baby with no one by her side, going home to her sister’s house with another newborn in the house killed me. Her doing it all alone would never be okay with me. It all came down to me manning up even further and not just being the man she needed, but being ready to love a kid who wasn’t mine.

* * *

Only one sports car was in the lot of The Dog House when I got there with lunch, but Jovie and Erica should have been there, but neither car was there. I looked down the side of the building for their cars, but nothing. I hopped the door and rushed in. The scene I walked into just iced the cake of my terrible fucking day.

“Sir, I understand, but your dog isn’t here. You aren’t even in our system,” Meredith looked on the verge of tears, but was determined that the man wasn’t going to the back. Her little self had the gate blocked, staring the guy down.

“I’m telling you, you’re wrong!” The man opened the gate, but Meredith closed it, “Do you even know who I am? You can’t keep me from my dog!” I waited, assessing the scene. I was itching for a good fight and the man looked like he was itching for an ass beating.

“Your dog isn’t here, sir, no one with your last name is even in our computer. Maybe your wife dropped him off at The Ruff House, we get confused with them all the time. I can even call them for you,” The pep was still in her tone, but she looked pretty tired of the man’s shit, “I can’t let you back here though.”

“The fuck you can’t. I’ll sue this place so fast,” The man went for the gate again and when Meredith moved to close it, he shoved her and the gate into the window. The gate hit her across the upper thighs, pinning her there. I grabbed the man’s shoulder before he made it through and jerked him back, “Mind your own business, asshole.”

I snatched the collar of his cheap polo in both hands and slammed him into the opposite wall, “That’s my woman, so this is my business,” I glanced at Meredith, “You good, Doll?” She nodded, and I went back to the jackass, “Now, your dog isn’t here. Take your pansy ass out of here before I hand it to you, clear?” When the guy nodded, I shoved him for the door and watched him scramble to the car before turning to Meredith, “Where the fuck did everyone go? Why are you here alone?” I nearly yelled at her.

Meredith shrank back at my tone, “Jovie had to run home for a second, Erica is sick, and Cori is off.”

“I’m sorry, Doll,” I took two steps to her and wrapped my arms around her, “You okay? Are you hurt?” Meredith shook her head in my neck, “I didn’t mean to yell, it’s been a shitty day.”

“Can I help?” I inhaled her hair and watched her tip her head up to see me, “Thanks for stopping by.”

“You actually can help, and I’m at your service, Doll. Come home with me later and play for me. I’ll cook.” I just needed her in my house, I had to show Briggs he was wrong about me. The story of my life was proving something to my brother. It was a compulsion. The guilt where Briggs was concerned was no joke, and not numbing meant I had to deal with it head on, and try not to be a dick.

“It’ll have to be after my appointment,” Meredith read my face and started explaining, “I’m high risk because of the diabetes, so I see the obstetrician more than a normal pregnancy.”

Her eyes left mine and her face turned red, “I told you about looking all ashamed. Do you need a ride?” I’d have to work through lunch the next day, but leaving work early wasn’t really a problem.

“Mom is taking me, but thank you. I don’t want you to feel responsible for me, Beck. I know what you said, but I got it this time.” Meredith smiled at me.

“Okay, but I want to be responsible. It might be good for me to take on some responsibility for once,” I kissed her head and let her go back to her seat. I handed her the bag and watched her open her lunch, “Can I pick you up once you get back? We won’t be alone, but I’d shell out big bucks to hear you play again.”

Her face turned red and she nodded, “I’ll call you. Thank you for lunch.” I kissed her forehead then made myself back off.

“Anytime. Thank you for not hating me after last night.”

“I could never hate you,” She talked around the bite in her mouth and giggled, “It was fun and the company was the best. I think your over-tired phone call was my favorite part though.” I had been tired, but I knew what I was saying. I meant every word. If getting married made her more comfortable, I’d volunteer in a heartbeat. It wasn’t the ideal way to settle down, but Briggs knew the second he saw Harriet, she was it, and he begged her to marry him after just a month. Maybe love at first sight ran in the family.