We road for five hours, stopping only for gas. I was numb. I knew Drake’s lies had gotten to Mickey, and what was worse was that I had the feeling that they knew each other. Somehow, Drake made it seem like I was the enemy. It was so like him to see a way to twist something beautiful, and turn it into something ugly to suit his needs.

My feelings for Mickey were confusing. I was glad he didn't attack Drake, because I needed to take care of Talon. I needed to make sure she would get through this. I was also somewhat disappointed. There were parts of me that felt like he knew me. He knew, even though I never told him exactly who Drake was, that Drake was a monster. He should’ve known I’d never betray him. I was hurt.

I also felt like if there was something between the two of them, which I suspected, based on the way they reacted to each other that maybe it wasn't a stretch for him to think that. I wondered what it could’ve been? Knowing Drake; it could’ve been bad.

Either way, Drake took Mickey from me, and it cut. It cut deep. I needed to be stronger than my hurt. I needed to be stronger for Talon, but also for myself. I wasn’t the same woman that left Drake, and I had to hold on to that.

I got off the bike and moved to go into the gas station. “Where do you think you're going?”

“Been on the bike for a long time Drake. I have to pee.” Drake stared hard at me for a minute, then he gave me the smallest head nod and began to pump gas. It wasn't like I was going to run. I needed to stay with Drake, in order to get to Talon.

Talon.

I prayed that she was okay. The guys Drake left her with to get her back to Florida were not good guys. Not good at all.

The bathroom was on the side of the gas station, and I had to grab a key from the attendant. We were in the middle of nowhere.

Once in the bathroom, I dug out my cell. How Drake had forgotten that it was returned to me at the police station, I didn't know. I called Mickey, and cringed when it went straight to voicemail. Whispering, afraid Drake would hear me through the bathroom door, I said, “Mickey, it’s me. I know that seemed like I was in on something with Drake. He made it seem that way. He has Talon. I had to go with him. I have to keep her safe. Don’t come after me. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you, too. I love you. Thank...”

I apparently wasn't discreet enough. The bathroom door was thrown open, and Drake was there.

“You love him? You fucking bitch.”

He snatched the phone from my hands, threw it to the ground and stomped on it with his big black boot. He grabbed both of my arms twisting me around so I faced the mirror. He smashed my face against it, creating a tiny crack in the glass that cut my cheek. A small trickle of blood ran down my face. I stared at his reflection, and I didn't back down. I knew it wasn't smart, but for some stupid reason, I felt compelled to stand up for myself.

“Yes, I love him. He’s more of a man than you’ll ever be.”

“That so, Marie? I’ll wipe any memory of him from your mind. I’m going to fuck you so hard that you’ll wish to God you never met that fucking Mick.”

“Fuck you, Drake!” I said through gritted teeth. His grip on my arms tightened, and I was afraid that it would tear from the socket. He tore my pants down past my ass. My hip dug into the dirty porcelain sink. I heard the clink of his belt, and then he was pushing inside of me; raping me. I stared at him in the mirror, silently crying not only because it hurt, even though it did, but because I fooled myself into believing that I was through with his torture.

I cried for everything he was taking from me. I cried for everything I was losing.

My voice broke, “I hate you.”

Drake was grunting behind me and stopped to stare at me. “I own you. You're not allowed to hate me.”

“I’ll hate you, until the day I die.”

He pushed hard into me, grunting again as he came. “Keep it up, that’ll be sooner than later.”

***

IT TOOK TWO DAYS FOR us to make it back to our home in Florida. I was sore and more than a little bruised. I’d like to say that him raping me in the bathroom was the only time on our journey, but it wasn't. We stayed in cheap motels along the highway. He was heavy with his hand, and then took from me whenever he wanted to.

I didn't fight him, even though I wanted to.

I had Talon to consider.

I found myself going back to those places in my mind that I'd created so long ago. I checked out, and in those moments when I did, I held on to the goodness that was Mickey and Marie.

I often didn't even feel like that Marie. I was in an in-between state; one where I held onto the sweet that I’d had for a brief time, and one where I lived in a nightmare.

Our home was trashed. When Drake discovered we were gone, he must’ve taken his anger out on the house. Dishes had been thrown from the kitchen cabinets. There were pieces of broken plates all over the floor. The TV was on its side in the living room. Takeout containers were stacked on the coffee table.

“I’ll just start cleaning,” I told Drake, when I spotted everything he'd done.

He grabbed a beer from the fridge and cracked it open. “Strip. You’re in my presence in our house, I want you naked. You deprived me of your body for far too long.”

I looked at the broken dishes all over the floor. “Drake, please,” I pleaded, but one look at him made me realize how futile that was.

I took my clothes off, but stood up straight as I cleaned. It was my defiance. I was careful around the broken shards, but just like my life, no matter how careful I thought I was, I was sure to get cut.

The first slice was tiny and near my pinky toe. The second was a clear piece of thin glass that I missed after sweeping up the larger pieces. I pulled it out and winced as blood gushed. I grabbed a paper towel and wrapped it around my foot. Drake moved past me in the kitchen, threw his beer can on the floor in front of me, squashed it with his boot, and then grabbed a new beer.

He was trying to intimidate me, and it was working. I should have known that him humiliating me by making me clean in the nude wasn’t going to be his entire game. No, instead he stood close by while I cleaned. Suddenly, as if the sight of me finally undid him, he ordered, “Stop.”

I did, because what choice did I have. “Hands on the counter.” I closed my eyes and braced. I heard Drake's belt buckle from behind me, and waited for him to push inside.

I tried to think of Mickey, I really did. I tried to hold on to the good, but it was so hard to do.

Instead of feeling his dick press inside of me, I felt the sharp sting of leather, as it connected with my backside. His forearm pressed into my back making me bend over more, and then he used his feet to kick my legs apart. “You’re mine. Nobody gets to touch you.” He hit me on my butt and the backs of my thighs. He struck me on my back.

The hits came heavy and fast, and I lost track of how long he beat me. I was laying on the kitchen floor, after being violated again, when our house phone rang.

Drake didn't answer. He sat not far from me lounging on the couch like nothing had just happened. Our answering machine picked up. “Boss, it’s Range. I’ve been calling your cell for hours. It’s going straight to voicemail. It’s Talon.”

My heart thundered in my chest. I heard Drake curse from the couch as he moved to answer. “Fuck,” he swore, as he pushed past me.

“She got the slip,” Range continued and was cut off as Drake picked up the phone. That's what I had been praying to hear. Talon got away. She got away from his men. I‘d been enduring this hell to make sure she was safe. Knowing he didn't have a handle on where she was, made me pray that she stayed hidden. Even though I was beaten down and bloody, I was no longer going to let this happen without a fight.

There was a chance she was free of him. Drake beating me and raping me made me sure of one thing; I was not broken.

I was stronger than him.

I was stronger than this.

I was going to fight back. I might not have a chance in hell of surviving, but would the end really be so horrible? Even if I died, I’d have proven to myself that he could beat me, but he couldn’t break me.