CHAPTER FOURTEEN
DANE
I stand at the window downstairs, a steaming cup of coffee in hand. I left Haley and the baby sleeping upstairs, couldn’t bring myself to wake her given how peaceful she looked.
I’m surprised to see the snow has let up outside. It’s still icy out there, but the skies are clear and bright blue. As always, I’m drawn towards it, towards the endless freedom they provide—not that I’ll be flying for the Red Devils again anytime soon.
Haley’s revelation last night surprised me. But what can I really do to help? If anything, getting this close to a problem of this scale makes me nervous. My instinct is to run, and maybe I should, but it’s far more than a simple fling now. I’ve never felt this way about any girl before. I thought sex would sharpen my resolve, but it only makes me want her more, to help her and free her from whatever fucking chains this town’s been keeping her in.
I breathe in and out, sipping at the coffee.
Two hands slide around my waist, a head falling against my shoulder. “Good morning.”
“It sure is.” I smile, turning around to pull Haley into me, my previous thoughts dissipating at the warmth of her body. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
She sees past my shoulder. “The snow…”
I twist around. “I know. It’s a beautiful day out there.”
She pushes away from me, her cream slip glowing in the morning light. “We should go out.”
I lean against the wall. “Did I see an ice rink in the center of town?”
“You did,” she nods. “Can you skate?”
“Can I skate,” I snort. “Does the sun rise? I lived and breathed ice hockey in high school. I’d say I can skate rings around anything Merit has to offer. Question is, can you?”
“I haven’t skated in years, sold my skates in a garage sale for five dollars a couple of months ago.”
I take her hand and pull her back against me. “Well, Cinderella, let’s go and find you some magical slippers.”
*
The good weather has brought people out. They skate around the rink rugged up like Michelin men, mostly kids… fathers trailing behind them trying to work out if they’ll be NHL superstars or not.
We sit on a bench lacing up our rental skates. They’re about as sharp as butter knives, but they’ll do the trick.
“You used to figure skate?” I ask.
“Every Saturday morning.” Haley smiles, lacing up her skates and tying them off. “Right up until I was nineteen.”
I’m about to ask what happened until I fill it in myself. “You miss it?”
She looks at the people skating, a forlorn expression on her face, her honey-blonde hair framing her features. “I do. I loved the freedom of it, you know?”
I look to the sky. “I do.”
I stand and scoop Andy up from the ground, looking himself like an oversized cotton ball in his snow suit and mittens. He’s loving being out, even if he is trying to stuff his mouth with dirty snow.
I create a kind of seat for him with my arm, cradle him in there tight. “The little man rides with me,” I tell Haley.
“You’ll be careful, won’t you?”
“Careful?” I laugh. “You’ve seen me fly, haven’t you?”
She laughs. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
I step onto the rink, a second of hesitation before muscle memory kicks back in and I skate out. I spin and face Haley.
She enters the rink a bit slower, finding her own balance soon enough and skating over to join us.
“Go on,” she says. “I know you’re dying to show off.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I wink, pushing off hard, Andy giggling against my ribs as I pick up the speed and take the corner, crossing my skates over one another and jetting forwards.
I’ve missed this—the cold bite of the air, the sluicing sound of the skates, the wax, the motion… all of it.
Andy’s having the time of his life, clapping his hands together as we dodge and weave through the crowd.
I come to a tilted T-stop in front of Haley, showering her with ice.
She throws her hands up laughing. “You did not just do that.” But she’s smiling. “Is Dane being cheeky?” she asks Andy.
“Cheeky!” Andy repeats, smiling just as enthusiastically.
Haley appears a bit more concerned when I decide to skate with Andy on my shoulders, holding her hand as we skate together.
Haley looks up. She’s a surprisingly graceful skater, her technique easy and fluid. “He’s having so much fun.”
I grimace slightly. “Trying to pull my hair out, sure.”
We skate for an hour or more, laughing and enjoying ourselves. I notice the odd stare, watchful eyes, but Haley’s so absorbed in the moment, it passes her by.
It’s nice, wholesome entertainment—a faultless, flawless day.
I order us hot chocolates from the diner and deliver them to the table outside, Andy soundly asleep in his stroller, his mittened hands hanging limply over the edge. “How’s the snow angel?” I ask, placing the chocolates down.
“Completely and utterly exhausted, by the looks of it.”
“And you?” I ask, seating myself beside her.
“I’m in the mood for exercise of a different kind,” she suggests.
“Curling then?” I ask.
She laughs. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“Sex!” I exclaim, loud enough for everyone outside to hear.
Haley looks mortified, trying to stifle laughter. “Quiet, you.”
“You don’t want to let everyone here know you’re having your wicked way with the sexiest man for sixty miles?”
“And the most modest, it seems.”
We drink, looking out towards the distant hills.
“It’s been a long time since I did that, you know,” I tell her.
“Skated?”
“Enjoyed myself. I suppose I’ve been missing out on these simple pleasures. If I ever get stuck in a small town during an ice storm again, I’ll certainly be prepared to make the most of it now.”
A change of expression comes over Haley, but it’s soon wiped away by another smile. “I’ve almost forgotten about the foreclosure.”
“See?” I offer. “I can make you forget almost anything if given the chance.”
But is that the issue? As much as I’m enjoying myself here, I can’t help but think I’m falling back into old patterns. A problem arises, and I want to make everything feel like it’s okay, like it doesn’t exist. It’s happened before, and if I’m honest I enjoy it—being the balm, soothing the hurt. It makes me… I don’t know what the fuck word I’m searching for, but I can’t help but feel it’s happening again with Haley.
But do you want it to?
What I want and what I do are two very different things. My cock has a knack for pulling me in one direction, but it’s always my head pulling me in another. Up there, in that jumble of thoughts, the ‘C’ word isn’t even spoken. I’m as allergic to commitment as a junkie is to rehab.