CHAPTER SIXTEEN
DANE
The shower streams over the both of us, steam clouding around the space. Haley’s got her hands wrapped around my waist, her soft breasts brushing my skin where the water falls.
“What’s it like to fly?” she asks.
Pretty damn close to this. “Fucking amazing,” I reply, “excuse the language.”
She raises an eyebrow. “I don’t know. I kind of like it when you talk dirty.”
“Well, that’s one thing they teach you in the Air Force. You’ve never been on a plane?”
She shakes her head. “Can’t say I have.”
“You’re in for a treat then.”
“And you’ll take me up, in a fancy jet?”
“You have my word. I’ll get you flying high if it’s the last thing I do.”
“You already have.”
Her gaze falls to my arm. “What do all the tattoos mean? Is it an Air Force thing?”
I shake my head. “As stupid as it sounds, they don’t mean anything.” I point to the ink on my arm. “This one? I was drunk in Cancun, found the first tattoo parlor I could and simply told the girl there ‘Go nuts.’ I guess she was really into Japanese tattoos.”
“It looks like a fish.”
“A koi fish, actually. Basically carp that climb waterfalls with strong currents. It’s meant to be a symbol of overcoming adversity, which I suppose is fitting enough given the shit I’ve dealt with.”
Her eyes shift to the same design on my chest. “It looks… painful.”
“Apparently I was there all night, drunk enough not to feel it until the following morning, and boy did I feel it.”
“And you don’t mind, having them now?”
“Do you?” I ask.
“Guys around here get tattoos, but they’re usually skulls or the American flag. Captain America is actually pretty popular, believe it or not.”
I run my hands down her back until I hit her ass. “Am I going to find any hidden tattoos on you if I look hard enough?”
She laughs, hair now the color of caramel stuck to her cheek. “I don’t like needles.”
“Who does?”
“Will you get one for me?”
“A tattoo?” I laugh back, standing away from her and puffing my chest out. “How about ‘Haley’ in bold copperplate right here across my pecs?”
She shrugs, a hand falling to squeeze my right ass cheek. “Actually, I was thinking my name would look better on this tight butt of yours.”
“You can have my butt if you like.”
I squeeze it again. “Looks like it’s already mine, buster.”
I shift my head through the curtain of water, let it stream down my face.
Haley’s hands slide up onto my chest, her head flat against it. “Like you said, it’s been a long time since I enjoyed myself as much as I have today.”
“It’s not over yet,” I muse.
“I’m serious, Dane. Thank you.”
“My pleasure.” And it’s true in more ways than one. God, the way she was deep-throating me before blew my mind—and something else. Who knew she had that in her?
“And you were great with Andy. I think he’s becoming really attached to you.”
As much as I ignore them, alarm bells start ring in my head at the word ‘attached.’ I think the reverse is true, and it’s scaring the fuck out of me. I don’t verbalize these feelings. “Sure,” I reply. “I like seeing you guys smile.”
“It’s rough sometimes, this town,” she tells me, no doubt aware of the way my cock’s growing against her leg. “But like I said before, it’s not so bad under different circumstances. It’s not a bad place to live.”
I laugh it off. “Right. I can just picture myself settling down here, swapping a jet for a tractor, shoes for snow boots, becoming a real family man.”
She looks offended, pushing away from me. “What’s wrong with that?”
I run my hands over my head, shaking off the water. “Baby, you don’t know me well enough. I’m the wrong man for all of that. I’m not… built to be in a place like this.”
She doesn’t reply, struggling not to let her disappointment show.
I bring my hands up to her shoulders. “Come on. Don’t be like that. I’m not cut out for commitment, monogamy—none of that blue-collar bullshit.”
Which only makes it worse. She pulls away and steps out of the shower, grabbing a towel from the rack.
I shut the water off and step out as well, reaching for my own towel, wrapping it around my waist. “What do you want me to say? I’m being honest here, and you’re what? Pissed at me?”
“I know what you’re saying, Dane. I get it. I’m not stupid.”
I lean against the vanity, the steam from the shower starting to dissipate. “I never said you were.”
But she’s on a roll, unable to stop talking. “I know you’re just… passing through, so to speak. I’m not some little girl that has to babied. I understand how the world works.”
“I know.”
“No, Dane. Everyone thinks I am, thinks I’m just one mistake after another, but it’s not true. You’re passing through and this, what we’re doing here, doesn’t really mean anything to you, does it? I don’t mean anything to you? Tell me, honestly.”
So she wants honesty. I can give her that, but she’s sure as hell not going to like it. It’s clear I’ve opened a box of worms here. Trying to close it’s going to do more harm than good, but she does need to know where I stand. “You’re definitely not a little girl. No, you’re all woman, Haley Walker,” I say, using my hands to outline her figure, “but I am who I am, and I won’t apologize for that.”
It’s meant to placate her, but her features tighten in a way that’s telling me I’m way up shit creek here and the paddle’s back at the ol’ bayou. “I don’t expect you to apologize,” she spits at me, moving over to the dresser and randomly pulling out clothes.
I haven’t seen her this frustrated. How the hell has this all gone so wrong? Fifteen minutes ago we were soaring. And now? Diving fast for the ground.
Haley throws her towel off and dresses, pulling on pants and a mismatched shirt. It’s back to front, but I’m not about to point that out.
“Haley?” I plead.
“She grabs a coat off the back of the door. “I need to get more baby food.”
I bought an entire pantry-full of the stuff just the other day, but again, I’m not sure pointing this out is going to win me any favors. “Okay,” I respond. “Do you need me to do anything while you’re gone?”
“Andy will keep sleeping for a few more hours. He won’t annoy you.”
Annoy me?
She leaves, closing the bedroom door harder than she should. I follow her footsteps down the stairs, hear the front door unlatch and close again. I watch her from the window pulling her coat tight around herself against the incoming cold.
What the fuck have you done?
Me? I rally back. Why’s it suddenly my fault?
I punch down into the mattress. “Fuck!”
What she said about Andy not annoying me, that I should be bothered by him, stings more than it should.
Emotions rise and fall—hurt, anger, regret—I can’t seem to pinpoint one to stick to as I pace around the room. It only makes me more pissed. She shouldn’t be making me feel like this. This is why I stay away from any kind of relationship that lasts longer than a night. I can’t deal with this crap.
Haley’s sweet, but at the end of the day she is just a girl like any other, I tell myself.
You know that’s not true, the better half of me rallies.
I put my hands on my head, the room suddenly bearing down on me with its lace and homemade quilt, the flowery fucking wallpaper and doll collection.
Drumming starts up in my ears, my temples beating in time.
I’ve got to get out of this town, I think. Get out before it swallows me up completely.