CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

HARPER

My eyes shift in and out of focus. Grading papers can be enjoyable if you get a paper worth reading, but those are the diamond in the rough, and by rough I mean glued-together tidbits from Google and Wikipedia that read like a monkey typed them up. At least Big Red, my trusty marking pen, is getting a workout.

I keep looking at the door. I’m not sure why. Who do I expect to appear there? Colton? The HR woman again? My vagina, begging me to take You Know Who back?

I look down between my legs. “Sorry, friend, that ship, beautiful as it was, has sailed.”

Thank God there’s no reply. Then I’d know I’m really losing it cooped up here in this coffin.

I pick up the next paper and stop.

It’s Colton’s.

I place it down on the desk, glancing over the intro. Like I needed any more reminders of him.

It’s far from an A plus, but it’s not exactly drivel either. It flows, reads well… a marked improvement from earlier efforts.

What to do, what to do?

I consider passing him without giving it a thorough reading. It’s painful to sit here and have every word remind me of what I’ve lost, what I chose to lose, because I sure as heck didn’t try to piece it back together. I didn’t put up a fight, after everything he taught me.

Yes, but you could have lost a lot more if you stayed with him.

Stupid Sense always barging in and ruining a good time.

I set his paper aside instead.

There’s a knock on the door. My heart clenches. I straighten up, rubbing my cheeks. “Come in.”

It’s not Colton, and it’s definitely not my vagina.

It’s James.

He walks in, closing the door behind himself and sitting on the edge of my desk like he owns the place.

“James, you can’t—”

He holds his hand up. “I just came to see if you’ve had a chance to think about my offer.”

God, not this. Not now. “I need more time. Sorry.”

He ignores me completely. “I’ve made dinner reservations at Pepe’s, your favorite. What do you say? Oh,” he adds, “I got you a little something, a present, if you will. It’s at my place, something I’m certain you’ll like.”

Possibilities run through my head, but whatever it is, it’ll be for his pleasure, not mine. It’s funny how I see that in hindsight now. “I’m not really up for it, I’m afraid.”

Cordiality slips, James’s expression souring. “Come on, Harper. If you just—”

“No, James. I’ve got a lot of papers to get through, a life. I don’t want to be with you.” I’m surprised by the conviction in my voice, my suddenly direct manner. Immediately, though, I sour at the idea of him taking away my job given he’s already taken so much from me. I don’t know if I can deal with that loss as well, but it’s too late to back down.

He takes it calmly, reaching down and picking up the paper I put aside, Colton’s paper.

He scans it quickly. “How juvenile.” Before letting it float back onto my desk. “Come and talk. That’s all I ask. Clearly, you’ve got a lot on your mind. Wouldn’t it be good to get it out, run it over like we used to, like the brain trust we once were?”

Why won’t he give up? I slip Colton’s paper back into the stack and straighten it, standing with two hands planted firmly on the desk. I channel the confidence Colton showed me I’m capable of. “Get out, James. Get out of my office. Get out of my life. I won’t say it again.” I ignore my seizing heart and stand my ground.

He licks his lips, cheeks puffing out. “Careful now, baby.”

“If you don’t get out,” I warn him, “I will be the one filing a complaint.”

He laughs, finally standing. “You think you’re in the position? Between the two of us you will be copping the heat. I’m tenured, Harper. I fucked a co-worker, yes… not a student.”

My fingers tighten and arch, a stiffness filling my shoulders. I can’t stop the anger from voicing itself, from being made whole. “Don’t you dare call me ‘baby.’ At least that ‘student,’” I air-quote, “could get me off, could actually get it up. At least he cared about me, not just his own stupid pleasure.”

“Look here, you—”

“No. You look!” I bellow, driving a finger at him. “For the record, I never liked Pepe’s, with its eighties menu and shitty, overpriced Caesar salad. I told you that every time we went there. You liked Pepe’s. Not me, but you’re oblivious to anything but your own needs, aren’t you?”

If he was sour before, salty and bitter have been added to mix with a side of cayenne pepper so fiery his face looks like a stop sign. “You will regret this, Harper. Mark. My. Words.”

He storms out, slamming the door behind himself so hard my framed degree falls from the wall in a poignant show of symbolism.

I slump back into my chair and take a deep breath, let it rattle down into my lungs. I know this isn’t the last I’m going to hear on the matter, but I had to get it out. I’ve probably screwed myself out of a job, ruined my reputation for good, not that I had much of one to begin with, but god almighty did it feel incredible to give that prick a piece of my mind.

It’s going to be fine, I comfort myself.

Yep. Just as soon as you turn water to wine and figure out how to keep Colton’s clear of this catastrophe.