CHAPTER TWELVE
Natalia
I haven’t seen Luke since he was at my house a little over a week ago, when he made it abundantly clear that he’s not interested in me. I mean, seriously, I don’t know why I thought someone of his stature could ever be interested in someone like me. It doesn’t lessen the sting of it though. He’s been texting me like crazy, begging to FaceTime, but honestly, I just need a little break to get my head back on straight. Hanging around Luke for long amounts of time can fuck with anyone’s head. I’m no different. I’ve done my best to avoid him, and of course, he doesn’t suspect a thing. He just thinks I’m busy with school and work.
Typical man.
After the fifth missed call from Luke, I decide to ring him back to see what he wants. Placing the phone between my ear and shoulder, I pick up the framed picture of my mother and admire her beauty as I wait for the ringing to stop and him to pick up.
“Look who finally decided to answer her phone. Damn woman, you’re harder to get in touch with than God himself.”
I roll my eyes dramatically because seriously, God?
“Sorry. I guess I’ve just been busy,” I say, trying to skirt around the truth.
“Mhmm. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re avoiding me.” I’m about to open my mouth and argue with a well said lie, but he cuts me off. “It doesn’t matter. I’m on my way over. We’ve fallen behind, Baldoni.” The line abruptly goes dead, and I stare down at the phone in shock.
Did he seriously just hang up on me? And is he seriously reminding me we need to work on an assignment?
The world has got to be coming to an end.
I guess the jig is up. I won’t be avoiding Luke any longer. Shame really. I was actually beginning to think straight.
***
“Why don’t you ever ask me about football?” Luke questions suddenly. I lift my head up from the psych text I was immersed in. “I know you know I play, but you never bring it up like most other girls do.”
Not long after our conversation, Luke showed up at my place with his textbook in hand ready to work. It was surprising, to say the least. I wasn’t really in the mood for talking so I went straight to reading from the psyche textbook. I know most of these chapters by heart by now, but Luke doesn’t know that. It also doesn’t hurt to refresh your memory every once in a while. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself as I’ve been reading. I’m actually sort of glad Luke finally broke my trance and asked a question.
“Honestly.” I sigh. “I don’t know anything about sports. And I couldn’t really care less. The whole ESPN thing is stupid. Can’t stand any of it.” I shrug and watch humorously as Luke gasps. His mouth opens and closes like a gaping fish.
“I’m half tempted to kick you out, right now.”
I can’t help but laugh because it’s hilarious, and partly because it’s such a ridiculous statement. “You realize this is my place, right?”
“Doesn’t matter. You seriously don’t know anything about sports?” he asks incredulously. His hazel eyes are wide as he waits for my answer.
“Well I know a little bit about soccer,” I relent. “I used to play when I was younger. I loved it. That was the one sport I could actually see myself playing for a long period of time, but I missed signups one year because Gina wanted to try out dance class.” I scrunch my face up as I remember our dancing days. “I wanted to continue playing soccer and she wanted to dance. My dad said he couldn’t take us to two different practices, so I gave up soccer and tried out dance.” Luke’s brows furrow and his jaw clenches. I keep going, ignoring the frown lines forming on his face.
“Of course, it didn’t last long. After the first two weeks Gina quit and I would’ve kept going but my dad stopped taking us when she no longer wanted to go. I had already missed soccer signups too, so that ended that for me.” I roll my eyes, recalling how heartbroken I was.
“Did that happen a lot?” Luke asks quietly. I look up at him, seeing unfamiliar emotions flash in his eyes. The amber and gold flecks are a stark contrast to the green. Aqua blue lines the outer corner of his eyes and I find myself staring intently, never wanting to look away, almost forgetting his question. Luke Caldwell is gorgeous. But his eyes…God his eyes are something else entirely. I’ve always wanted colored eyes and he has almost every color you can think of in one set of eyes. It’s incredible. His brows are still furrowed, and I cock my head to the side.
Why is he so upset?
I nervously tuck strands of hair behind my ear.
“Did what happen a lot?”
“I mean, did your dad chose your sister over you all the time? Because that’s what it sounds like to me. That Gina was the priority most of your life.” I quickly dart my eyes away because he’s right. With only hearing one childhood story, he understands what I’ve gone through my whole life.
I blow out a deep breath. “Not really. No.” Lie. “Sometimes things just happened.” Lie. “My dad stepped up when my mom wasn’t here. I was never angry at my father nor did I ever blame Gina.” Lie. I feel like the biggest liar for everything that just came out of mouth, but how the hell do I voice how I really feel? That I blame my father for the way things turned out? That I hate Gina and her mother with a passion? I can’t be angry at anyone though because sometimes these things happen, and you just have to deal with it. That’s life.
“That’s seriously fucked up, Natalia,” Luke says with a scowl, and I push out of the chair, heading toward the refrigerator.
“Want any ice cream?” I offer, trying to change the subject.
“Sure.” His smooth voice rolls over me and I smile. I pull out Sam’s pint of Ben and Jerrys and hand it over to him, then get my own pint out.
Sorry, Sammy. I’ll get you another one.
Handing him a spoon, we both dig into the ice cream, mint chocolate cookie for me and Phish food for Luke. My lip twitches as I watch him devour the ice cream. He raises a brow at me when he catches me staring, and I can’t hold in my laughter anymore.
“What are you laughing at?” He pauses with the spoon of ice cream midair, inches from his mouth. I laugh harder. He scowls, dropping the scoop into the tub and I try to get my laughter under control.
“Don’t you think it’s funny that you’re sitting with a girl you can hardly stand, on a Friday night, eating ice cream?” I burst out laughing again when his scowl deepens as he looks down at the ice cream in front of him.
“Mother fucker.” He mumbles and shoots out of his chair. I cackle, nearly falling out of my seat. “I’m out of here.” He gathers his stuff, and I finally manage to stop laughing.
“See you around, Mr. Popular,” I joke and waggle my brows. Luke chuckles before flipping me off and leaving. I sit back down at the table and finish my pint of ice cream with a huge grin on my face.
As I crawl into bed, my good mood falls sour once again. I hate that I have feelings for Luke. I could lie and say it’s all sexual attraction, but it’s not. There’s so much more to Luke than meets the eye. He makes me laugh even when I’m trying to be serious, he even makes me feel safe, and that’s something I’ve never felt in my life. When he smiles at me, it twists my insides and liquefies my body all at once. He’s like a drug, and I can’t seem to get my fix no matter how much time we spend together.
I hate that I feel any of this for a guy like him. He’s just supposed to be my classmate. But over the last few months, he’s become so much more than that. He’s actually my friend. Someone who knows how to make me laugh and smile, even when I’m not feeling up to it. Just the thought of him sleeping his way around a campus party on a Friday night makes me irrationally angry. Not at him, but at myself. I toss and turn most of the night, hoping I’ll get my head back on straight sooner rather than later.