“The job is yours if you want it.”
Holy. Shit.
You heard that, right? It wasn’t just my imagination, was it?
Do you see that girl sitting in the hotel restaurant with the other girl who’s pretty pregnant and fanning herself with a drink menu?
She’s stunned. Completely, utterly, and without a doubt stunned. Is Willa smoking crack? I thought I did horribly during the interview and honestly, I don’t know a fucking thing about being someone’s personal assistant. Especially a professional freestyle rider.
I’m downing a shot. Yes, I said shot. And probably sweating as much as Willa at this point. I’m beginning to get concerned about the poor girl. Here she is seven months pregnant and burning up.
“Um.” I set the shot glass on the table. “At the risk of sounding like a complete idiot, what makes you think I can do this?”
Should I have asked that?
Maybe not.
Willa smiles, still fanning herself with the menu. She takes a drink of her ice water and dips one of the chips for the plate of nachos in front of us into a container of sour cream. “Because when you sat at the table and were yourself, that’s the first time he’s laughed in months.” She takes the chip and eats it, chewing slowly before saying, “I’m not asking you to be someone you’re not. That’s not a lie. I’m just asking you to be there for Shade.”
Be there for him? What?
I swallow. Or gulp. I’m not entirely sure at this point. “I don’t understand. . . . Be there for him? I thought it was for a personal assistant.”
“Well, technically, yes, you will be their personal assistant. You’ll be doing everything from scheduling their flights, making sure they’re on the damn flight and then going with them to their events.”
“I would be traveling with them?”
“Yes. Mostly with Shade. He’s the busiest. And lately, he needs someone with him. I let him go to Abu Dhabi with just Tiller and Roan last month, and he came back with a guy named Taco.”
My eyes widen. “What?”
She waves her hand around and then digs out another chip from the nacho plate, attempting to catch the stringy cheese in her mouth. “Long story.” Covering her mouth as she speaks, she then swallows. “I’m sorry, I’m starving.”
“Obviously.” I motion to my second shot on the table now. “It’s no problem at all. I was just offered a job, and I’m drinking in front of my soon-to-be employer.”
Willa giggles, reaching for her napkin to wipe her lips. “Anyway, Shade needs someone to keep him in line and keep him out of trouble. He can’t talk to the media either. So you’ll need to be with him at all times.”
All times? Even in his bed?
You’re totally picturing me sleeping on his floor, aren’t you?
No? Well, I am.
I hold myself together verbally and ask, “Okay, so I’ll be all their personal assistants?” I’ve met Tiller. You saw how that played out. Roan. . . I don’t think I’ve actually had an interaction with him. I’ve just seen him in passing and gave him soap once.
“You’ll need to look after the other two as well. Tiller and Roan. But they don’t have a lot going on right now like Shade does. He has a busy three months coming up so it will be very important that you’re on your game and keeping him focused. This isn’t something. . . .” Darting her eyes to her phone that’s ringing, again, she pauses and then continues with, “This is serious. I’m worried about him, and he’s on the verge of losing it all.” Willa motions to her phone. “That phone call, that was the promoter of the event in Paris in two weeks wanting to know if they should avoid interviewing Shade before the event. It’s bad enough now that people have to ask before they stick a microphone in his face.”
I knew what she was referring to, in part. Shade had in fact, gone a little crazy. You remember what happened in Seattle when he told the announcer to fuck off. Dude couldn’t be trusted on live TV.
Reaching into her bag, she pulls out a stack of papers bound by a clip. At the top it’s marked with the words “Sawyer Inc.”
And then she hits me with a bomb as she hands me a pen to sign the contract. “I went ahead and put it in your contract that if you sleep with him, you’re fired.”
Do you see me there? I’m the one who just dropped the pen, and I look like a fish out of water, don’t I? She can’t be serious, can she? You tell me.
Her brow is pulled together, her perfect beach waves falling effortlessly over her bare shoulder. . . . But it’s her expression I focus on. The one that means business.
Wait a goddamn minute. Let’s back the fuck up, shall we?
Did you hear what she just said?
I can’t sleep with him.
“Are you shitting me?”
“I’m serious,” she deadpans, leveling me a mom stare and yanking at her tank top clinging to her baby belly. “This is more about being their personal assistant. It’s about being a friend to them and letting them know they can trust you. These boys are more than a client. They’re family. I love them, I do, but Shade’s drowning. And I can’t be there for him in the same way you can. I need you to help him through it. You’re different. He needs a friend like you. The last friend. . . .” She pauses, as if maybe she shouldn’t have said that. Her eyes are distant, wandering around the room before landing on mine again. “Rhya wasn’t a good friend. She used him and destroyed what was left. He needs you to help him through this darkness, but he doesn’t need you to fuck him.”
I feel the need about now to confess something. She had to know where I stood from the beginning. Yes, I want this job, mostly for the chance to see Shade every day and the slim possibility he might fall for me, but I couldn’t go into this with a lie. I just couldn’t. “I kind of already have,” I admit, stuttering the words out. “When he was here a couple weeks ago for the X Fighters.”
“I know that.”
She’s like a ninja of knowledge. “You do?”
“Yes. I saw the way you were watching him. Dead giveaway.”
Well, I’m transparent, aren’t I? “So why can’t I again? I mean, if we already did once, what’s the problem?”
“Don’t be like all these other pro hos trying to land him. Be different. Be you. He doesn’t need a quick fuck. He needs a friend. If you sleep with him, he’ll know you’re easy and lose interest.”
Well, she’s brutally fucking honest, isn’t she?
“What makes you think I want him to fall in love with me?”
And now I’m handed a, “You can’t be that fucking stupid, can you?” look.
Willa takes a deep breath, almost like she can’t believe she has to explain this to me. “Okay, well, for one, I sat right here with you two weeks ago and watched you drool over him. I get it, he’s attractive, but any girl who’s in it for the fame, he’ll fuck and walk away from. He’s not interested in falling for someone who only wants him for his fame. But. . . I can see that you care for him. I saw that too, amongst the drool. And let’s face it, you make him laugh, and that doesn’t happen very much. So if you want an honest to God chance with him, don’t have sex with him.”
Well fucking fuck. No, seriously. Just fuuuuuuck!
This sounds nearly impossible, doesn’t it? He’ll smile, and I’ll melt into a puddle only to beg him to slurp me up.
“Don’t get me wrong, he’s going to try to get you to have sex with him,” she warns. Excitement shoots through my veins. “They all will, but Shade”—she shakes her head subtly—“he’s going to try the hardest. Out of all of them, he doesn’t take no for an answer.” Willa’s quick to add, “I don’t mean in the way like he’d ever force you to do anything. He’s not a dirt bag. I mean in the sense that his determination is how he’s gotten to where he is. That’s why he’s the most successful out of the three.”
Okay, so he’s going to try, and I have to deny him. That won’t be easy. Probably about as hard as trying to be the dude’s friend when I can only imagine after Rhya, how guarded he must be.
“What was his relationship with Rhya?”
Willa frowns, as though a distant memory causes her pain. It takes her a moment and then she leans forward, her voice softer. “The only reason I’m going to tell you this is because I know you’ll sign this contract. Ordinarily I wouldn’t explain any of this to someone outside our family, and that’s exactly what we are. A family. But this. . . everything that happened with Rhya is his private life, and I expect that this will not leave this table.” I nod, eager to learn how this girl wrecked him so badly. “Rhya was a drug addict and a liar. She used him and was more than a friend. And when she killed herself, she took a part of him and ripped it out. He doesn’t see it as being okay for him to move on, even though she’s gone. Your job is going to be to bring that out in him.”
I nod, though I’m not sure at this point I even know what I’m nodding to.
She continues with, “Let’s not bullshit ourselves. You’re not qualified for being a public relations rep. But I’m not hiring you for that. I’m hiring you to be their personal assistant and save Shade from himself. On paper, it’s all business, but these boys, they’re my family. I have to do what’s right for me too, and my baby, but I will not let Shade crash.”
I get what she’s saying. He’s struggling, and the last thing she wants is him losing his career too. I totally get that. I’ve watched his career closely over the last year, and though you can tell he’s not 100 percent, he still has decent finishes, and he’s even leading the X Fighters points battle.
So the question remains, can I help? I can do this, can’t I? What’s a few months without sex and getting paid to travel around with a professional freestyle rider?
Could be hell. But it might also be a chance of a lifetime to finally get out of Seattle and everything still tying me to Asher. The reminder of Asher sends a jolt through my chest. If only I’d had a friend to help me through his death, but I didn’t, until Mila and she doesn’t even know about him.
But seriously, no sex?
I bite my nails nervously and then pick up the pen. “I can’t sleep with him. . . ,” I repeat, and she nods. “And I have to watch other girls sleep with him?”
Willa’s face softens. “I get it. I see who he is. I see the attraction and the endless flow of women in that house. But I’m telling you right now, you don’t want the guy he is at the moment. That guy you see on TV, the lively energetic freestyle rider who would do anything to put on a show and always had a smile on his face, he’s not even close to that guy anymore. He might say things to you, make you feel like he wants you, but it’s just an act. He’s good at it. Believe me, he’s good at it. Shade’s been pretending to be someone else around women for years. Probably his entire life. At this point, he doesn’t even know who he is.”
“When I slept with him back in July, he didn’t make eye contact with me,” I admit, sadly.
“I know.”
I sign the contract. Just like that. When I hand it to her, I sigh. “He really doesn’t remember me, does he?”
“No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t remember what he did yesterday.”
Willa tucks the papers away and hands me a cell phone. I take it and then scroll through a couple of appointments on the calendar. “We both know I don’t know what I’m doing so how do I pretend I know what I’m doing?”
“If you tell anyone about this, I’ll smack you. Being a personal assistant, it’s not that hard. It’s a lot like having a child and making sure they’re staying out of trouble and getting to school on time.”
“I’ve never had a child. I had a fish. He died the next day.”
She completely ignores my fish story. “Don’t lose this and everything will be fine. It’s your bible. Shade’s schedule is in there. Everyone you need to know is in the phone. Sponsor’s numbers. . . promoters, endorsement contacts. . . even his barber is in there. I made notes about who’s important, but follow the schedule. Your main job is getting him to the races he needs to be at and his endorsement deals. Do. Not. Lose. The. Phone.”
“So I’ll have to move to California?”
“Yes. You’ll stay in their guest house. I’ll provide you with a car, insurance, a phone, everything you’ll need for the next three months.”
“So. . . they all live together and I’ll be living in the guest house?” I really want to ask if I have a view of Shade’s room, but I don’t.
Do you see the look on Willa’s face? It screams warning, doesn’t it? This will eventually come back to haunt me. I know it.
She surprises me and nods. “Yep. The guest house is really nice. You’ll find it comfortable and has everything you need. Just bring clothes.”
And here I was thinking about walking around naked. Damn. “So this no sex thing. . . is oral out of the question?”
Willa stops and eyes me carefully. “Seriously?”
I wave my hand around, tucking the bible phone in my bra. I don’t have pockets with this dress. “Okay, but when you have the baby and you come back, then I can?”
“After I came back, you can do whatever you want with him.”
I fight the urge to fist pump the air. “All right. But I need to prepare myself. How advanced will they be?”
Willa reaches for her bag and places her own cell phone inside of it, zips it up and then motions for me to walk with her. I imagine she has a plane to catch. “You mean with trying to get you to have sex with them?”
I nod, following her through the restaurant. “Yeah.”
We’re in the hotel lobby when she finally says, “Let’s see. . . Shade. . . ” And then she pauses as if she’s not sure how to approach it. “I’ll get to him. Roan’s the oldest but not by much. He’s a crazy fuck and kind of an idiot at times. Walks around naked most of the time. Be prepared.” She pauses, again, looks me up and down and then grins. “He’ll try for sure, but he’ll give up easily too. He doesn’t like denial and if you say no, he’ll move on.”
“And Tiller?” I press, curious about the dark-eyed playboy who tried to get me to be a stripper for him in the elevator.
“Stay away from him,” Willa warns, completely straight-faced. “His bark is as bad as his bite. Don’t engage and avoid eye contact.”
“I can’t tell if you’re serious.”
“I am. I’ve been around these boys for a long time, and I’ll be honest with you, I can’t explain Tiller. He has problems.”
Well shit. I could have told you that, and I’ve only had one interaction with him. “Is he going to try?”
“He’s always going to try but if you say no, he’ll back off.”
“Okay. . . and Shade.”
Willa regards me carefully. “Scarlet, do you know why he’s so good at what he does?”
“No.”
“He likes a challenge. Out of the three Sawyer brothers, Shade’s the most tenacious. He’s competitive by nature and always takes it to the next step. And he does it well. Tiller, Roan, they’re attractive. They could have had modeling careers, but they didn’t bother with it. Shade, he’s different. He wanted to be the best and that meant going to the top. He’s the only freestyle rider to win a medal in every freestyle category. He’s leading the battle of the X Fighters and has six different endorsement deals.”
“Is he going to attack me?” I tease, laughing.
“No. He wouldn’t do that.” Leaning in, Willa hugs me. “Just stick to your guns.”
“Why are you talking to me like I’m going to war?” I ask when we pull away, nervously giggling.
“Because you are.”
Do you see the way she smiles slyly? Something tells me I’m in for more than I signed up for.