Laney
“DO YOUR HOMEWORK, Lemon?” Kam drops his notebook on the desk next to me and slips casually into the seat.
“Yes, you?”
“Right here.” He pulls out a typed page and waves it in my face.
“Am I supposed to be impressed or something?”
“Or something,” he flirts.
Kam has been doing that a lot lately. Flirting. With me. I don’t know if it’s the end of the school year high, the fact we’re graduating, or what, but the last two and a half months, spending every Friday morning together, has done something anomalous to our estranged relationship. We have two official classes left before we take our final and then head out into the world. Me to New York to start an internship at a prestigious architectural design firm, and Kam to the NFL. Both our career dreams seem to be coming true.
“What’s with the pigtails, Lemon?” He flips my hair flirtatiously with his pen.
“Nothing.” I shrug him off. “Can’t a girl wear pigtails?”
“She can.” He eyes me hungrily. That look is so dangerous.
“You know what pigtails are good for?” he leans in and whispers.
“What?” I raise an eyebrow speculatively.
“Pulling.” He yanks on my hair a little harder than just teasing. I actually clench my thighs. Maybe I’m not so immune to Kam’s prowling after all.
Professor Katz begins class, and Kam and I both shift in our seats. But it doesn’t matter how much I try to concentrate on what the teacher is saying; the only thing I am aware of is Kam. I can feel him looking at me. No. Not just looking—licking me with his eyes and tangling me in an uncomfortable excitement. A precarious predicament. Kam is off-limits in so many ways. We’ve been down this road before, and as much as our physical chemistry is off the charts, there are too many old emotions attached. I couldn’t open that door again, not even for one, carefree, no-strings-attached night. One, uninhibited, reckless, pulse-pounding night. I can almost feel the way he used to touch me. The light caresses and strong grip, when our bodies would fuse together and the world would disappear. It was the only time I really ever had Kam—the only time I received his undivided attention and unconditional love. There’s a sudden ache in my chest as I find myself mourning what we once had.
“Laney?” Kam shakes me by the shoulder. “Are you alright?” I look over at him and then around the room. We’re the only two left.
“Fine.” I clear my throat.
“You were in some pretty deep thought.”
“I guess I was.” I scan over Kam’s facial features. His big baby-blue eyes, strong jawline, and prominent nose. Tack on his charismatic personality and southern charm, and he’s the epitome of quarterback playboy. He hasn’t even been officially drafted yet, but he’s going to take the NFL by storm. I predict it already. He’s Alabama’s golden boy, and he’ll be the National Football League’s, too.
To me, however, he’ll always be the man I let go.
I move to stand, extinguishing all the feelings flaring inside me like wildfire.
“Do you want to grab some coffee?” Kam asks as he walks me out. “Or is your attack dog waiting for you?”
I laugh. “No. Not today.”
“So how ‘bout it? Coffee? I’ll even buy you a muffin.”
“I can buy my own muffin. And coffee, for that matter.”
“So, is that a yes?” he asks hopefully.
I contemplate for a second; my good sense flying right out the window. “Sure, why not?”
We grab a table outside at the nearby coffee shop on campus. It’s a warm April morning, and the humidity is comfortably low.
“So . . .” Kam says with a smirk.
“So . . . ?” I reply with the coffee cup in front of my mouth, concealing my mirroring expression.
“In a few more weeks, this will all be a distant memory.” He motions to campus.
“Yup,” I agree, cheerfully. “Are you nervous about the draft?”
“A little,” he admits reluctantly. “Everything I’ve ever wanted is right at my fingertips.”
“That should make you happy.”
“I am happy.”
“You sure? Because you sound like something is missing.”
Kam stares at me stoically, ticking his jaw. “Not something. Someone.”
I freeze mid-sip. I’m not even going to ask whom because the way he’s looking at me tells me everything I need to know.
“Kam.” I sigh.
“Laney.”
“Don’t do this,” I beg.
“Why?”
“Because.”
“That’s not a reason.”
“It’s complicated.”
“What’s complicated?” He leans over the table. “Tell me you don’t have any kind of feelings left for me. Tell me that spending time together over the last few months hasn’t changed anything.”
“It hasn’t.” I assert.
“Why? Because of that idiot you date?”
“Kam, that’s enough.” I stand up, and he follows suit, blocking me before I can pass.
“You can’t be serious about him, Laney.” Kam glares down at me. His big, blue eyes sparkling in the sun.
“I am serious about him.” I hold my ground.
“Why? What does he have to offer you?”
“That’s a loaded question, Kam. Are you sure you want to hear the answer?”
“Yes.”
I huff. “Steven has never broken a promise. Or not shown up when he said he was going to. He doesn’t spend half our relationship apologizing for the things he didn’t do. He may not be you, but at least I know I can rely on him.”
Kam’s expression darkens. He wanted answers, and I gave them to him.
“You can rely on me, Laney.”
“Not the way I need.” I shake my head, attempting to move around him, but he places his hand firmly on my hip. My heart stops.
I look up into his eyes pleadingly. We can’t do this; it’s just going to be heartbreak all over again.
He opens his mouth to respond, but his phone interrupts him. Some things never change. Kam lets it ring three times before he hesitantly removes his hand and answers it.
“Yeah.” He never takes his eyes off me. “What’s up, Sam?”
That’s my cue. I bypass his rigid body and make a beeline straight to my car.
Same shit, different day.