Chapter Fifteen

Harper

It’s happening… it’s really happening. I’m kissing Reed Matheson.

No. He was kissing me, not the other way around, and my heart swelled to the brink of bursting. Even if it was out of pity, I didn’t give a crap. I was here, in his weirdly decrepit apartment getting the kiss of a lifetime… and more.

Please let there be more. So much more. Let there be everything.

I wanted to hold up my plate like Oliver Twist and ask him for more. Instead, my lips parted on a soft sigh of pleasure and surrender so he could plunder my mouth. I’d give him anything, even access to my body and my soul. I wanted to give it to him, let it be drawn out through my mouth with the power of his kiss. His tongue was needy, searching, beseeching. The raspy scruff on his jaw brushed against my face, and all I could think of was Reed. Tonight, he’d make me a woman. A woman who’d lost her love only to have it reappear, rekindled.

Don’t jinx it, super geek. Just enjoy it before you get carried away. He doesn’t love you and he never will. Reed Matheson isn’t for you. Not then. Not now. Not ever.

But that wouldn’t stop me from having him tonight. Our lips parted amid panting breaths for air. He still held my face in his hands, and I chanced a look into his eyes to see what might be there now that all the cards were on the table. In this game, I wanted to discard my virginity like an off-suit seven in a game of five-card stud. Soon. Please God, let it be soon, before he could change his mind or wake himself from a stupor of pity-laced arousal. Reed was my fantasy come to life. I’d lain awake so many nights, dreaming of those hazy green eyes turned on me with interest instead of disdain. And it was happening.

“Come with me,” he whispered, releasing my jaw, and taking my hand.

He stood and pulled me along with him, leading me to the bedroom. I didn’t even notice the sparse décor. It had a huge bed, and we didn’t need anything more than that. He sat me down on the edge and knelt before me like he truly wanted me. Like I mattered. If his knee pained him, he didn’t show it as our eyes stayed locked on each other. I hadn’t yet taken off my shoes, and Reed’s hands glided down the length of my calves until they reached my red satin stilettos. He slid them off and set them carefully aside.

Those same callused hands traveled a return path up my leg and over my knees, dragging the red drape of my skirt along with them. My legs were bare, and the sensation of his palms roving in slow circles over the tops of my thighs with the silky material of my dress bunched up against my waist sent a bolt of arousal surging through my body. It rebounded and coalesced in a pool of heated wetness between my legs where my novice pussy convulsed.

“This night is about you,” he said, his voice raw with desire. “Let me take care of you. All of you. Every. Little. Bit of you.”

Delicious chills coursed up my spine as he moved his body forward, parting my wobbling knees and wedging himself between them. My chest heaved up and down with each desperate inhale. At times, I thought I might faint. The double threat of seeing him and feeling him at the same time became so intense, I wanted to reach for the feeling and push it away simultaneously.

I watched his hands settle on my ribcage and slide upward, cupping my straining breasts against the tight bodice of my gown. My traitorous nipples peaked into aching pressure points beneath the red satin as his thumbs moved across them.

A groan of pleasure left my lips, and he smiled his torturously sexy smile at my reaction to his touch. I was a pushover, and I knew it. And now, he did too. What he didn’t know was that, with every fiber of my being, I knew this could only be happening with him. He could give and receive the ultimate pleasure with any woman, and the notches on his bedpost solidified it. But for me… Reed was the only one who could touch my heart along with the touch of his hands on my body.

The Universe worked in mysterious ways, and maybe I was meant to wait. Maybe my first was meant to be my last. The thought of a possible future set my heart to pounding as his fingertips traced across the skin of my cleavage, pausing to inspect my favorite necklace. The metal setting had gone warm from the excited heat of my body.

“So beautiful,” he murmured as his caress moved on toward my shoulders and the thin straps of my cocktail dress. My perpetually insecure inner self hoped he wasn’t talking about my jewelry. I so much wanted to believe his words, to be beautiful for him, even for just this one moment in time.

He slipped the spaghetti straps of my dress aside and circled the exposed skin with his palms. My head fell back, and I ached to be rid of all my restraints, not just my clothes. He read me as though my operator’s manual lay open on the bed, and I tried to forget about his sordid past. Nothing mattered but us. My zipper sliced open with agonizing slowness, but the amazing sensation of Reed’s lips nuzzling my neck as it progressed made up for it.

He pushed me back onto his bed, my hair fanning out across the covers. He slipped the dress down and under my hips. My legs squirmed from its confines, and I heard the fabric slither to the floor in a silken lump. Then he loomed above me, all perilous man, his lips seeking mine again. He kissed me like he wanted to devour me, and I welcomed the assault. The design of my gown didn’t call for a bra, and a wanton quiver rippled through me as I lay naked to his hungry gaze. My hands itched to cover myself. I was still so innocent in so many ways and unused to the intimacy of being naked, but I forced myself to be still.

A gasp lay trapped in my throat as his hands slid down to my breasts, and another crippling contraction gripped my pussy. I’d never felt anything so powerful. Need ripped through every cell. My skimpy thong flooded with wetness as he plucked and stroked my nipples, playing my body.

Suddenly, Reed broke our kiss and pulled away from me, my heated body objecting with a shudder.

“What,” I whispered.

I did something wrong. I know it.

“Can’t very well perform my duties while still in uniform,” he teased. “Just relax and enjoy. This is all for you, Harper.”

I watched him with wide eyes, taking in every plane of his body as it became exposed. Reed was all muscle and sinew in comparison to my softness. He seemed to delight in taking a slow approach to his impromptu striptease, making me wait. Making me crave more.

The soft light from a single table lamp reflected every line and curve of his broad shoulders, and ripped midsection, sculpted biceps, and sinewy legs. Every muscle in his body had been defined and strengthened by years of physical training. My questions as to the appearance of Reed sans clothing were now answered in full, glorious living color. I felt intoxicated by the sight of him. When my gaze dipped even lower, I hissed in a ragged breath. Holy shit. No way was I going to live through this. His cock was swollen and rippled with veins. I swallowed on reflex.

“Oh, my God.” The inane, overused phrase dropped from my mouth, so unworthy of someone with a doctorate. “You’re… you’re…”

“Yes?” he said with a sexy smile and tilt of his head. He stepped closer to the bed and draped his huge delicious frame lazily beside me. “A washed-up NHL has-been and manwhore for hire? Pretty sure I already knew that. Or were you going to say something else?”

He reached over to stroke his hand across my abdomen and grasped my thong, yanking it from my body in one easy tug.

“You’re not a has-been. You were a superstar. You retired after an injury with the respect and admiration of everyone. Don’t you say that ever again,” I demanded in a rushed breath.

I touched my fingers to his lips, almost afraid to touch anything else. Part of me still worried he’d disappear like a figment of my underused imagination. His eyes seemed to moisten as he considered my words. But that couldn’t be possible.

“You flatter me, Harper. Be careful what you wish for,” he said, then sucked each of my fingertips in turn into his mouth. I’d never understood how such a non-sexual thing could be so erotic until now. I wanted him to explore my body inch by inch until I couldn’t think straight. And I dreaded the end, when this night would turn into morning in the blink of an eye. Before I was ready.

I drew another ragged breath as he trailed a finger along my heated flesh. “Ah…”

His hand stilled as if I’d slapped it. “Something wrong? You aren’t nervous, are you? Don’t be nervous. Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“Yes,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut. I couldn’t look at him and make my shameful admission at the same time.

His fingers caressed my cheek. “What, then? Tell me what you need, what turns you on. Anything. Whatever you want, it’s yours. Unless you want me to swing from my light fixture because the ceiling’s paper thin. We’d both end up looking into my upstairs neighbor’s place, doused in popcorn plaster.”

Even though he tried to lighten the mood, sensing my increasing distress, I couldn’t even crack a smile. I had no idea how to tell him.

“It’s not that… it’s just that… I…”

I’d been reduced to a stuttering naked chick in the bed of the man of my dreams.

Just close your eyes, take a cleansing breath, and spit it out, Harper.

“I’m listening,” he said, patience in his husky voice, but a distinct impatience twitched in the hard shaft that rubbed against me.

“I may not be what you expect,” I said in a rush of syllables all smashed together like one gigantic word without definition.

After a few tense moments, I forced my eyes open again to find him staring at me. A confused frown breezed over his mouth, pouting his lips upward against my fingers.

“Why in the hell would you say that? It’s your expectations that need to be met, not mine.” He clearly didn’t understand, and I had no desire to spell it out.

I knew I should just shut up, let him do what he’d been hired to do. He’d find out on his own. Lord knew he’d had enough experience to know the difference. Why was I killing the buzz of desire that thrummed between us like an electric current? I choked on the words, denying them breath.

“Because I’ve never done this before.”

Reed fell silent, the ensuing milliseconds an eternity of agony.

“First time…” he repeated, as though confirming what he’d heard. “You mean… ever? In your whole life? Not even in college?”

He sounded incredulous, and I cursed myself for bringing it up. I couldn’t even have sex without trying to control it and then apologizing on top of it. What was wrong with me?

Reed’s hand let go of my thigh, and for a second, I thought he might get up and leave his own bedroom. He had no use for blushing inexperienced virgins. He was probably used to slutty wildcats whose snarls of pleasure could set these flimsy walls to vibrating. Instead, he rolled over to cage my body beneath him, undoing me with a look of undisguised gentleness and caring in his eyes.

“You sweet, incredible thing,” he whispered. “You’ve given me two honors tonight, which is at least two more than I deserve. I intend to live up to them both.”

With a smile, he began moving his hard body down the length of mine, dragging his lips across my collarbone in a moist trail toward the curving mounds of my breasts. My already aching nipples tightened as his tongue blazed a spiral path around the pebbled skin. He sucked one hard nub into his mouth, grazing it with his teeth, and I gasped in exquisite pain. Reed’s hands squeezed and kneaded my other breast, his thumb entertaining its nipple until he could direct his oral attention to it. He sucked and pulled, drawing more and more of my breast into his mouth. I already wanted to explode with pleasure. Damn. I had no idea intimacy could feel like this.

His smooth hair now sported a sexy mess as it rubbed across my belly. He worked his way south, eliciting a debilitating flutter within me. Dear God, if he ratcheted up the pleasure factor, what would that do to me? I let my fingers tangle inside his thick hair, not only to feel the lush texture but as an anchor to hold on to because I felt like I was falling. Plummeting into a sea of Reed Matheson.

When he paused at my navel, twirling the tip of his tongue into its shallow puckered dish, gooseflesh spread across every inch of my flesh, and my core convulsed in utter surrender. In that moment, I knew I belonged to this man in every way possible. He’d owned my heart since the day we met. Now, he owned everything else. With so many new and indescribable sensations battering me from every direction, my rational, over-educated brain struggled to process them. It abandoned me to the sheer sensual invasion of his hands, lips, and tongue.

Reed’s murmured chuckle as I writhed in helpless rapture shot my adrenaline, along with my embarrassment at being such an amateur even higher.

“Don’t stop… please…” I whimpered.

I needed this, needed him to experience this place of joy and nirvana. Only Reed could take me there. His lips dragged across my abdomen. My thighs shivered as he repositioned himself between them and traced a wet line with his tongue directly toward my freshly waxed pussy. Irene had suggested a spa treatment to prepare for the big day. I hoped it didn’t give away the fact it was my first Brazilian. Did men like that? I didn’t know. I tensed in apprehension but soon collapsed to jelly as he pressed my legs up and apart, nestling his head in between.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered.

The sound of the compliment on his lips as they hovered over my innocent woman’s core brought a blush to my cheeks. Raw emotion flooded my soul and washed it clean, ready to start over again with the man I’ve loved all of my life. I knew it now for sure. My femininity began and ended with Reed Matheson.

Gently parting my labia with two fingers, his clever tongue descended into my wet heat, licking and exploring. I gripped the bed covers in my balled fists, my entire being ready to detonate like a breached fusion reactor. My wetness covered his face as he reveled in my taste, Reed’s nose and tongue and lips all vying for their portion of my needy flesh. I couldn’t hold back and didn’t want to… not one second more. An orgasm burgeoned from deep within my pelvis, my first ever under the hands of a man, and swelled up and out to every part of my body, cresting over me in a black wave of ecstasy.

“Reed!” I screamed his name, succumbing to the rolling shocks of sensation coming one after the other, wishing they would last forever. “Reed…”

“I’m here, baby,” he said, his low voice floating closer as he left my clit to ride out its own journey, and drew his sterling body overtop me again. “I’m here. I’ll take care of you.”

My body still rocked from the strength of his touch as he reached for the small plastic package on the nightstand. I watched in dazed fascination as he sheathed himself, and although I knew safety came first, I didn’t want to be denied of even one sexy, naked inch of him. I wanted him all. He flashed a playful smile as he finished and leaned down to me again. I admired the way he could be so natural and easygoing about an act I’d waited all my life to experience. I still felt awkward and shy about it, struggling not to retreat deep within myself.

“Just relax,” he said, sliding his arm under my neck. He kissed me, and I found my own taste and scent on his lips. He placed one of my feet to rest in the small of his back then poised the slippery tip of his massive cock at my entrance. I sucked in a breath on reflex, and my nails dug into his biceps as I clung to him. He held my gaze with his stirring green eyes. I could see gentleness and assurance mirrored back at me. Reed couldn’t have made me feel safer or more protected. “Trust me.”

“I do,” I breathed.

I felt a gentle pressure as he breached my outer lips, slowly pushing deeper. His engorged cock began to stretch my walls, accompanied by a gradual, searing sting that raked through my lower body. I let out a startled gasp at the sharp yet sweet pain—the pain that would finally release me from a prison of my own making.

“Shh… it’s alright,” Reed soothed. “I’ve got you.”

As if his words were magic, the pain receded, and only throbbing hardness remained, stretching and tugging my body in a way that caused my breath to catch in my throat. He gently withdrew, then surged forward again. I’d never felt anything so totally satisfying and overwhelming at the same time. Our bodies connecting was the only thing that existed and mattered in the world at this moment. It was everything.

Reed’s thrusts became faster, stronger, and more urgent. I rocked in sync with him, relishing every deep, powerful stroke as it filled me to the hilt. We were two beings made one, and though I knew it wasn’t possible, wanted it to stay that way forever. I was his, and he was mine.

Reed reached between our bodies to strum my clit with his thumb, and I felt another climax being pulled from my aching body. I couldn’t believe it was possible to come again so quickly, but before I was ready, stars formed behind my eyes, bursting forth into a cacophony of pleasure. The spasms wracked me, and my pussy convulsed around Reed’s cock, asking for everything he had to give.

“You’re so tight and wet. It’s so damn good,” he said, his voice escalating into hoarse moans as he climaxed right after I did, his body tensing then shuddering in release.

I felt the warmth of him as he came, and in those wonderful seconds wished he hadn’t sheathed himself. But the rational side of me knew it was for the best. I couldn’t get involved long-term with Reed. To do so would be detrimental to my well-being. But a girl could still dream. As I stroked his back muscles, I imagined what it would be like to watch my belly grow swollen with Reed’s baby.

A family.

What I’d always wanted and what seemed to be slipping right through my aging fingers. But for now, I intended to make the most of this one perfect night. I smiled and held the man I’d wanted my whole damn life even more tightly in my arms.