Chapter Nine

Chastity

“Shit,” I groaned, rolling over in bed and burying my head under the pillow. An infernal racket paraded through my head – like someone had loosed a party full of frat boys into my brain – and even blinking hurt. Actually, everything hurt. My hands hurt. My body hurt. Even my hair hurt.

My black silk Chloé didn’t make much of a nightgown. Good thing I hadn’t splurged on retail. I rolled my eyes as I saw the fabric covered with infinite creases. So much for the perfect dress. And so much for the perfect night.

And so much for the perfect man.

Every time I thought about what happened at the Waldorf Astoria, I burned with shame. I’d fucked up the best opportunity of my life because I couldn’t hold my champagne. I’d never been more disgusted with myself.

“Hey, Chas,” Trina called, sticking her head through my door. “You up?”

I opened one eye and nodded.

“Something came for you.” She disappeared for a second. When she returned, she was carrying the biggest gift basket I’d ever seen.

“Holy smokes,” I breathed, so stunned by the sight that I almost forgot about the pounding jackhammer in my brain. My fingertips flew to my temples to stop the throbbing. “What is this?”

Trina shrugged. She smiled at me, catlike. “I don’t know,” she said coyly. “A gift from Prince Charming, I think. You didn’t put out in the limo, did you?”

I blinked as I shook my head, then reached for the basket and pulled it toward me. My heart melted as soon as I saw the contents. Various bottles of medicine, a few jugs of Pedialyte, Gatorade, a DVD of Sex and the City. Everything was covered in rose petals, and the light scent wafted up toward me. Even a teddy bear rested in the floral cocoon.

“There’s a note,” I breathed, plucking a folded slip of paper from the basket, sealed with a sticker. When I opened it, I felt my breath catch in my throat.

You had a crazy night, gorgeous. But Diego and I made sure you got safely inside your apartment. Wish I could keep you company in bed today, but that will have to be revisited at a later date. This stuff will have to make up for my lack of presence. I’ll call you later.

-C

I swallowed and blushed. “It’s from Chase,” I confessed. “I-I had way, way too much to drink last night. Oh, Trina! I don’t remember everything. What if I’ve blown it? My chance at the internship with Banks?”

Trina raised her eyebrow. “Oh. One other thing. There was some weird call for you earlier – someone called and then stayed on the line, breathing like a creeper. They kept calling, so I disconnected the line. There’s absolutely no way those desperate geezers from your work could ever get a hold of our land line, is there?”

“Maybe it was Chase.”

Trina shook her head. “They didn’t say anything, but I doubt someone as smooth as Chase would resort to playing games like that. This was a first-class pervert.”

“It’s probably nothing,” I said, but felt a shiver of something close to fear crawl up my spine. I shook it off. “Wrong number or something. I need to take a shower. I stink so bad I can’t even stand myself.”

In the shower, I soaped my body carefully, massaging the sore skin. I’d somehow fallen asleep with my neck at a weird angle, and the pain had just begun to fade under the hot water. My head swarmed with thoughts of Chase. All kinds of delicious, inappropriate thoughts.

Stop it, Chastity. He just felt sorry for you, that’s all. You’re never going to see him again, and you know it.

“Chastity!” Trina yelled. “There’s someone for you at the door!”

I grinned widely as I pulled a fluffy bath towel from the rack beside the shower. Chase! He really does want to see me again!

“Coming!” As quickly as I could, I pulled on a pair of torn jeans and a black sweater. There was nothing I could do about my hair – it was a wet mess – but I pushed it off my forehead and quickly dotted a touch of lavender oil at my wrists.

When I sprang into the living room, my heart sank. There, among the clutter of Trouble’s toys and my schoolwork, stood Nathan.

“Hey,” Nathan said, scanning my body and wet hair. He licked his lips and I fought the urge to cringe. Fuck him. He was here uninvited and hadn’t called to announce himself. I thought I’d made it pretty clear that I wasn’t interested the other day. “I wanted to ask if you’d go to the movies with me tonight. I never got your cell number so I could call.”

“I don’t think I can,” I lied. “I have a lot of studying…”

“She has a boyfriend, now,” Trina sang out as she walked through the living room. “She doesn’t have time for movies. Or greasy Dutch burgers.”

Shit.

Nathan’s face changed, growing angry. He glared at me, his hands fisting and releasing by his sides. I felt that sliver of fear again when his nostrils flared and he took a step toward me.

I held up a hand. “Back off.”

The glare grew deeper, more foreboding. Then he took a deep breath and seemed to relax. His face transformed into bland neutrality, making me wonder if I’d imagined the anger.

“Okay,” he said in a pleasant tone, giving me a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “That’s too bad, Chastity. I was really hoping we could date.”

“I’m just really busy,” I said, shifting from one foot to the other. “I’m sorry.”

Nathan licked his lips, his eyes flicking down my body again. “You’ll regret turning me down. Is it because of that rich douche we saw the other day? The one sitting outside your apartment in his luxury car because he can’t do anything for himself?”

I stared. “What are you talking about?”

“Come on, Chastity,” he said, the rage reappearing on his face. “You’re smarter than that. Why are you letting someone like that turn your head with a couple of bucks?”

Before I could reply, he gave me one more hard look before turning on his heel and stomping through the doorway. I stood there, staring after him, shaking slightly. It’s probably nothing, I thought as I cleared my throat. He’s probably just jealous. That’s all. Geeky computer nerds were passive aggressive. Not dangerous.

“You okay?” Trina walked back through the room. “I don’t like that twit. What happened?”

I shook my head, not wanting to talk about it. And I desperately wanted to be alone. I had to process everything. I’d had more excitement in the past few weeks than I’d had in the previous few years.

“I’m going for a walk,” I said, wanting to escape. It felt imperative to flee the apartment in a feeble attempt to process my roiling emotions. I just wasn’t cut out for dating. “I’ll be back soon.”

Outside, the fall day provided a quiet calm to the storm raging in my brain. All of it. Chase, Nathan, the Banks event the night before. And Charlie, and Nolan, and Nolan’s weird father, Grantham. What the hell had all of that been about, anyway? My throbbing head kept me from making any sense of my turbulent thoughts.

Pausing on the corner, I hopped from one foot to the other and waited for the light to change. As the red turned to green, I charged forward with my head down, and my hands shoved into my pockets, trying to keep them warm. I wasn’t expecting to collide head-on with someone tall and muscular. Bouncing backwards, I cried out and instinctively felt the adrenaline begin to pump through my veins.

“Whoa! Why so jumpy, gorgeous girl?”

When I recognized the sexy voice, I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Sorry.” I sighed and ran a hand through my still-wet hair. “I thought … well, I don’t know what I thought, actually.” For a moment, all of my problems were forgotten as I stared at Chase’s heavenly body and face, swathed in a light autumn jacket and perfectly tailored jeans.

Chase frowned. “Chastity, what’s wrong? You weren’t paying attention, and it was almost as if you were running away from something. And your hair’s still wet. Are you running from someone?”

I opened my lips to speak, but no sound came out. After a moment, I clamped them shut and shook my head. “No,” I said firmly. “I’m not.”

Chase snorted. “Could have fooled me,” he said. “You’re not usually the jumpy type. You’re a tough chick. I know you can hold your own.”

I sighed. “Just…someone from school was being a creep, that’s all.”

Chase’s eyebrows flew up. “You’re coming with me,” he demanded, wrapping his fingers around my upper arm. As he moved closer, his spicy cologne wafted over me, and I had a hard time not swooning. “I’m not leaving you alone in that shithole of an apartment when you’re afraid and someone is being inappropriate.”

“What the hell, Chase,” I snapped back, wresting myself from his grip. “It’s not that bad! And I don’t live alone. I live with Trina.”

Chase shook his head. “She wouldn’t even notice if something happened to you,” he said crisply. “Come stay with me for a few days, Chastity, until you’re absolutely sure it’s nothing. I have security guards, cameras, everything.”

I stared. “You’re kidding,” I breathed. “You don’t even know what happened? Who in the hell do you think you are? Just because you have money doesn’t mean you get to dictate my life to me.”

“What happened today was enough to unsettle you to the point where you could have easily been hit by a car,” Chase said. He raised his eyebrows. “And I might not know you well yet, but I can tell that doesn’t happen easily.”

I bit my lip. He’d hit that one right on the head, even though I hated to admit it.

“Come on,” Chase said. “We’ll go get your stuff. Diego’s waiting around the corner. Just until you feel the threat is over.”

Shit. I was a poor college student living in New York. I doubted all the threats in my life would ever be over.

I frowned. “What were you doing here?”

Chase grinned. “I had to come check on the patient,” he said archly. “I thought for sure you were going to be dead, or at the very least, swearing off alcohol for the rest of your life.” He raked a hand through the waves of his dark hair and chuckled. “What I wouldn’t kill to be your age again.”

I glared. “You’re not that much older.”

“Seven years makes a big difference when it comes to hangovers.”

***

An hour later, I stood in the foyer of Chase’s luxe – no, palatial – condo, gaping. The marble foyer glittered, shot through with gold and pink streaks, and the ivory walls had tasteful grey baseboards, and I could see the foyer opened up into a giant, airy room with big windows and plush grey carpeting.

“I didn’t decorate it,” Chase said, noticing my shocked expression. “I wish I could take the credit, but I’m not that talented.” He grinned and held his hands in the air. My heart caught in my throat as he stepped closer and gazed into my eyes. “So now that I have you here, Ms. Sexe,” Chase whispered. “Whatever am I going to do with you? Scrabble? Chess?”

I dropped my bag onto the marble floor and twisted my hands in front of me. There it was again – the awkward feeling that bubbled up inside of me whenever Chase hovered. I cringed. I hadn’t felt that way when I was drunk the night before, but then again, I’d nearly missed throwing up all over the inside of Chase Bradenton’s limo. He won’t want you, a nagging voice in my head persisted as I stepped back from Chase. Especially not after he finds out you’re a virgin. Then, you’ll be tossed out on your ass and back in your shitty apartment. Hang on to the fantasy for as long as you can, Cinderella. You’ll turn into a pumpkin at midnight.

“Can I get you a drink? I’ve got beer, wine, whiskey…” Chase trailed off with that cocky smirk of his. “Actually, maybe a water? I have San Pellegrino. Maybe milk would be best for the likes of you.”

I shook my head. “Tap water is fine.” I gulped, trying to swallow the knot of nervous energy stuck in my throat as Chase darted down the hall.

“Chastity,” Chase called. “Why don’t you come in here with me?”

I padded nervously down the hall, my feet sinking into the plushest carpet I’d ever walked upon. Everything about Chase’s apartment was perfect – it even smelled rich, like a heady combination of leather and spice. The modern kitchen was enough to make my jaw drop – everything decorated in sleek stainless steel and black marble.

“Come here,” Chase said. He gestured toward a glass of water on the counter. When I saw the way his eyes devoured me, I went weak in the knees. Why had I agreed to this? And how in the hell was I going to keep my panties on? And dry?

“What is it?”

“I want to finish what we started,” Chase growled. “When you were begging me.”

My heart began to pound as I closed the distance between us. Could I do it? Could I give myself to this man without fear?

When I stood directly in front of Chase, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. His muscular arms felt heavenly around me. My senses felt completely overwhelmed as Chase reached up to stroke a wet strand of hair away from my forehead. What could one tiny kiss hurt?

“Why do you want me?” I whispered. “I don’t understand it. This can’t be real.”

Chase’s mouth hooked on mine before I could even finish the sentence. His lips pressed down with exquisite pressure, hungrily, desperately – like I was something delicious that he wanted to consume. As his hands slid down my back and squeezed my ass, I shivered. There was a rock hard erection in Chase’s pants, and I could feel it digging into my lower belly. He’s huge, I realized as Chase’s tongue slipped into my mouth. There’s no way that I can do this. No way.

I wriggled, trying to wrest myself away but he held me in an iron grip.

“God, Chastity,” Chase moaned. He broke the kiss and tangled a hand in my hair, tugging my head back and exposing my neck. When I felt his hot, soft lips on the delicate skin of my throat, I shuddered and squirmed in his arms. I couldn’t move – I was rooted to the spot, filled with more desire than I ever thought possible, in spite of my desire to flee. It was if I’d sprouted roots in the bottom of my bare feet and was anchored to the marble floors.

I closed my eyes as the intense lust swarmed to the surface of my skin, like oil on water. Chase’s lips trailed lower and lower, and my breasts tingled at the idea he might kiss me there. As he slipped a hand under my shirt, I jumped into the air.

“What’s wrong?” Chase purred. He didn’t take his hands away from me. I watched as he got down on his knees and looked up into my eyes. “Chastity, what is it? What’s the matter? Is this a bad time? Are you thinking about that other guy?”

“I’m a virgin,” I blurted out. My cheeks burned bright red with shame and embarrassment as I swallowed hard. “I’m a virgin,” I repeated more slowly. “I just…I wanted to tell you. You’re so much older. I didn’t want you to be disappointed…” I trailed off, suddenly hating myself and my still intact hymen. The damn thing that kept me from giving myself to this incredible man with unabashed abandon. “This was a huge mistake. I should go.”

“No,” Chase said, dark and ominous. He climbed to his feet, put his hands on my shoulders, and leaned down to plant a smooth kiss on my forehead. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, Chastity. I’m the one who should be apologizing.” He sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. “I’m such a pig.” Chase shook his head, and a wry grin stretched across his gorgeous lips. “I can’t help it when I’m around you, though. You drive me to the brink of destruction.”

I blushed. “I feel the same way,” I admitted on a tortured whisper, waiting for him to reject me because I’d never had sex. Waiting for him to ask how in the hell could a phone sex operator be a virgin. Hell, anyone over sixteen in this day and age.

Yep, that’s me. A complete loser at love and life. And I had a hymen to prove just how much.

Chase stared at me. The intense eye contact was enough to make me shiver, and deep down, I prayed he would kiss me again, that my inexperience wouldn’t matter. When he stepped back, the disappointment felt like a blow to the gut.

“We’ll take things a little slower,” Chase said, stepping closer and leaning down so his breath grazed my ear. “Because I don’t want to rush you, Chastity.” His voice turned to a growl, and I shivered with a renewed feeling of lust. “I want your first time to be perfect and special. And I’m going to work my ass off to give that to you. It would be an honor.”

I swallowed hard. Not believing it. Wanting to believe it.

“Thank you.”

The rest of the afternoon, Chase and I lounged on his leather couch and watched old movies. I wanted to tell him everything – about Damon, my disastrous high school boyfriend, about Nathan, hell, even about Trina. But he didn’t ask. And every time I opened my mouth, I realized that I had no way of knowing how to phrase things in a way that Chase would understand. I felt just like regular old Chastity Sexe again, boring college student in the face of a worldly and sophisticated man.

When it got late, Chase handed me a pair of silk pajamas. Grateful he’d never have to see my worn flannel, I accepted the gift. I changed in the bathroom and walked nervously into his bedroom, half-expecting to see flower petals everywhere and dim lighting. Instead, Chase sat cross-legged in bed, shirtless. I couldn’t help but stare at his perfect body. His muscles were golden, sleek, and perfectly maintained.

“How do you even find time to work,” I grumbled as I climbed into the luxurious Egyptian cotton sheets of the California king-sized bed. “I’m surprised you don’t spend all day at the gym.”

Chase laughed, then clicked off the bedside lamp. As the room filled with the distinct New York nighttime glow, my heart began to race in my chest.

“Chase, I want to thank you again for everything, and I’m sorry about earlier,” I gushed. “I don’t mean to be so awkward, and I don’t know why…”

“Shush,” Chase said, putting his pointer finger flush with my lips. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close. His skin felt hot and silky next to mine, and I was glad the lights were out so he couldn’t see the blush that had risen to my cheeks. “We’re just going to sleep tonight, okay? I promised you – I’m not going to rush you.” There was a pause, and Chase cleared his throat. “Although I’ll be damned if I can hide how much I want you. I hope you’ll forgive me for that.”

But try as I might, I found that I couldn’t sleep. No matter how I tossed and turned on Chase’s bed, I just felt more uncomfortable with each passing second. Finally, I got out of bed and crept into the living room. When I saw my bag still resting on the marble foyer, I knew what I had to do. Girls like me never got the fairytale ending they dreamed about.

Crown Heights wasn’t the safest neighborhood at night, but I wasn’t afraid. After all, I’d lived there for a few years – and it was much safer than my childhood home of the Bronx.

As I climbed the stairs to my apartment, relief washed over me. Sure, it was a shithole. But it was my shithole, and I was content there. I didn’t belong with Chase, not really. He only wanted me because I was a kid from the wrong side of the tracks, a novelty. A project. With zero sexual experience like the cherry on top of the pathetic sundae.

I pushed the front door open. To my surprise, Trina wasn’t there. Instead, I found a white note with “Chastity” scribbled on the front lying on the coffee table, and I expected to see that she’d gone out partying or clubbing with her artsy friends. But when I unfolded it and scanned the words, I gasped.

He can’t protect you forever.

Especially not from me.

Oh my god, I thought, dropping the paper and watching as it fluttered to the floor. What the fuck is going on? My heart pounded as I dug through my bag. I’ll call Chase, I decided. Sure, he’ll be mad that I just left, but he’ll understand. I should have just listened to him! Why the hell did I do something so dumb as to walk away from the only man who ever offered to protect me?

Dazed, I stumbled out of my apartment to the hallway, wavering every step of the way until I stepped outside. I almost fell multiple times. Nausea permeated every crevice of my body and terror gripped every cell in my brain. A muscular hand clamp down on my shoulder and clenched.

Hard.