Chapter Nineteen

Chastity

“Hey!” Angela said. “What are you looking for?”

I whirled around. Blood rushed to my cheeks, and I swallowed hard. “Um,” I said as casually as I could. “I think these are my shoes complete with feline identification.” I felt my hand begin to tremble as I stared down at the shoe. There was no mistaking it – these were the exact same shoes I’d been missing for over a week.

Angela only giggled. “Silly.” She stepped forward and took the heel from my grasp. “I’ve always had these. They’re one of my favorite pairs.”

I stared at her. “My cat scratched that mark,” I said in a shaky voice, pointing toward Trouble’s visible scratch on the heel of the shoe. I had no idea what the hell was going on. “I know she did.”

Angela blinked. “Honey, are you feeling okay?” She stepped closer. “You’re sounding a little crazy, Chastity. I mean, these were super popular a few years ago. Everyone had them. You remember that, don’t you?”

I blinked. They had been popular – that was exactly why I’d bought them, as soon as I’d been able to find a cheap pair that fit my budget. But I knew these were mine. In my heart, in my soul, I knew something fucked up had happened. Something off.

“Chastity, come on,” Angela said. “Don’t be weird. I know you had a bad night, but try to relax, okay?”

My heart pounded a staccato rhythm against my chest wall. I didn’t know what to do – what exactly could I do? Call Officer Darmody and tell him that my new best friend was obviously insane because she had a pair of shoes that matched a pair of mine, and I wanted her outed as a fucking liar? I cringed and chastised myself. I could predict his response without calling, and I had a feeling he’d make me feel even worse than I did in this gaslight moment.

“Come on,” Angela said. “Have more wine.” She held out another glass. I took it and sniffed. It was the same sweet wine we’d been drinking earlier in the evening. Licking my lips, I took a tiny sip. My senses were in hyper drive, and I didn’t want to let myself get drunk around Angela. I had no idea what she’d do, and I no longer trusted her. Hell. I might not even trust myself.

“Thanks,” I said. Maybe she was right. Could she be right? I felt foolish as Angela arranged the shoes in the foyer, making them neat and straight. Maybe I was just being paranoid. Maybe it was nothing. After all, I’d just gone through a nasty shock, and I didn’t have my normal wits and intuition about me. And I’d been drinking more than normal. That could cause hallucinations right there. And thinking about the photos of Chase and Amanda put a fur ball sized pit of nausea in my gut. She’s probably right, I thought, staring at Angela. I’m being crazy.

“Come help me dye my hair,” Angela chirped. She sipped her own wine and smiled. “We gotta take your mind off that jackass. He’s making you a little cray-cray. No better way to do that than a spa night!” Angela giggled as she turned on her heel and pranced down the hall.

I watched her disappear into the bathroom at the end of the hall, then took a long sip of my wine and followed behind, my head a confusing mix of roiling emotion. Pain. Regret. Betrayal. Most of all that last one. My heart ached like someone had just run over it with a Mack truck, hit reverse, and trampled it again. All I wanted to do was go home, curl up with Trouble, and laugh at some stupid rom-com before sleeping it off. Then, in the morning, I’d feign sleep and pull the covers over my head all day so I wouldn’t have to face the fact that I’d fallen for a douche bag… hook, line, and sinker.

Hooked. Like a squirming piece of bait on a fisherman’s lure.

God, how I wanted to flee, but I couldn’t see a way of doing it without raising alarms since I was the one who had returned to Angela’s in search of sisterly support. But now, I felt trapped with Angela, like she’d try something crazy if I left.

I shook my head. Stop it, Chastity, I told myself sternly. You’re the one who’s acting crazy! Sure, she’s a little offbeat and nerdy. But she’s your new friend. You can’t just be rude – she’s trying to help! You of all people should know that support doesn’t always come in the perfect box complete with bow and curling ribbon. You have to be grateful for it, no matter the wrapping.

When I walked into the bathroom, Angela sat at her vanity with a box of hair dye in front of her.

“You want this color?”

Angela nodded. I picked up the box and took a closer look.

“Golden almond?” I frowned, holding the box next to my head in the mirror. The sample captured my attention like a blinking neon sign, an exact dupe of my natural dishwater blonde.

“Yeah,” Angela said, smiling at the reflection in the beveled mirror. “I think it would look really good, don’t you?”

I blinked. “It’s a little… um… similar to mine, isn’t it?”

Angela giggled. “Don’t be weird,” she said. “We look like, totally different, Chastity. There’s no way anyone could mistake me for you. You’re gorgeous and curvaceous, and I’m… plain. I’m just trying to find out if blondes do have more fun.”

She grabbed the box of dye from my hands and set it down on the counter, combing out her hair and placing a plastic cape around her shoulders.

“You are not plain,” I said, blushing. “It’s just… um… I don’t know.” I tried to smile. “It’s a coincidence. I’m just confused as to why you’d pick this color amongst hundreds at the drugstore.”

“You should be flattered.” She rearranged her perky little butt on the vanity chair. “Come on,” she added. “Help me!”

“I want to check my phone first,” I said. “I still haven’t heard from Trina. I’ll be right back.”

Darting down the hall, I grabbed my phone from my things. My heart leapt into my throat when I saw that Chase had called dozens of times. Tears sprang to my eyes. Unwanted, unbidden, stinging pools of liquid emotion that threatened to escape and float down my wine flushed cheeks. Hurt overwhelmed me. Hurt caused only by him. Or, was it caused by my own stupidity in thinking I could ever be what that man wanted or needed. I bit my lip, my fingers itching to hit the call back button. I was dying to call him and give him a piece of my mind. But then I remembered Angela, waiting in the bathroom.

Chase made me wait, I thought as I dropped my phone back into my purse. So I can make him wait too. A willful desire to be passive aggressive overtook my senses. Besides, to be completely honest, I wasn’t ready to hear his excuses. Maybe I never would be. Because excuses could lead to feeling weak. Weak enough to grant forgiveness that wasn’t earned or deserved. I cringed at the thought of his voice telling me, “Amanda is the only woman I’ve ever loved, and sorry, but you just don’t compare.”

And then you’d say, I already knew that, asshole. No articulation needed.

The mental scenario was enough to make me want to vomit. Or was that the half a bottle of wine swirling in my brain and belly, egging me on.

“Chastity!” Angela yelled. “Where did you go? Don’t break down and call that rat bastard. You’re better and stronger than that.”

“Coming!” I called. With one final glance back at my bag, I trotted down the hall and into the bathroom.

“What’s wrong?” Angela frowned. “He’s been calling and texting, hasn’t he?”

“A lot,” I confessed. “I didn’t look at them though. He called just as many times. Next, he might send a singing telegram or a homing pigeon.”

Angela frowned, her lips pursed into a thin, white line. “Are you okay?”

I sighed. I didn’t really want to talk about it. I was still fighting my emotions and the tears that could spill from my eyes at any given second. And furthermore, I was kind of creeped out. Between the shoes and the hair dye, I wanted to get away from Angela. But the concern on her face was so real, so genuine, that I knew I couldn’t keep my feelings bottled up forever.

“I will be,” I whispered, choking back my pain. “This is just… this is the first time I’ve ever felt this way about someone, you know? Like it could be the real deal. So safe and cared for. Adored really. He really tried.” I sighed, feeling the last of the oxygen leave my body. “At least, that’s what it felt like. He romanced me and took it slow and made sure I was ready.” I blinked. A hot tear dripped from my eye down my cheek, and I didn’t bother wiping it away.

Angela stared in confusion, clearly surprised by my heartfelt response. “And what happened?”

“Someone sent me pictures…” I trailed off. The knot in my throat felt as big as a boulder. I swallowed, but it refused to pass. “Of Chase and his ex,” I confessed. “His big ex, the only woman he ever really loved. His fiancée, Amanda – they dated in college. She cheated on him.” I sniffed. The pain raged through my body, making my knees weak and my lip tremble. I had to sit down. Lay down. Something. “She cheated on him, and he took her back!” I hurled the words like daggers. “He took her back!”

Angela blinked. “Well,” she said in a tone dripping snowflakes. “If that’s how he’s going to be, it’s definitely a good thing you broke up. What an asshole. I’ve been at Banks a while, and I guess I thought Mr. Bradenton was… different somehow.”

I stared. Another tear dripped down my cheek, and I hastily wiped my face. Beneath my fingers, my skin felt hot and course. Numb. I knew that I probably looked awful. I could feel that the flush on my cheeks had spread to my forehead, just above my swollen and shrink-wrapped eyes.

“What makes you say that?” My voice trembled across the room. “Why would you say that?”

Angela rolled her eyes. She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. “Really, Chastity,” she continued. “You should be grateful it’s over, if that’s how he’s going to act. These things… they only get worse the longer they drag on. Think how bad it would have hurt if it had lasted longer. Years even. You’re better off without him.”

She cocked her head to the side, almost devoid of expression. But if looked deeper, I could see it. A tiny glimmer of satisfaction. I couldn’t help but stare – I’d never seen that cold, superior look in her eyes before.

“What?”

“You shouldn’t waste so much time on someone who’s so cruel and uncaring,” Angela continued. “Really, Chastity. You forget that I know Chase is a member of NYC’s elite upper-class. And you’re… not.”

I frowned. “I may not be rich but that doesn’t mean I don’t bring other things to the table,” I said, wondering why I even bothered to argue with her. Judging from her apartment, she didn’t lack for anything and never had so probably had no idea what it was like to struggle. Realizing how shitty it sounded, I bit my lip. “I mean, you only worked for Banks for a few months before I started. What makes you think that you know him so much better than I do?”

“I know a lot more than you think,” Angela retorted. “Chase can’t even be bothered to remember the names of the women he’s slept with. Some of them even show up at the office, and Myrna has to deal with them. Did you know that Grantham gave Myrna a handful of thousand dollar Bergdorf gift cards just for that purpose?”

Her eyes flashed, and she stood up, suddenly seeming both tall and intimidating. All traces of friendliness were gone, and I started backing away. When I accidentally tripped over my own feet, I let out a cry of surprise.

Angela didn’t reach down to steady me. Instead, she stood there, staring. “Really, Chastity. You should have known – I mean, that’s the kind of guy Chase is. He uses and takes and makes all these sweet promises and never delivers on any of them. A rich lothario used to getting all the cheap pussy he can handle for free or the cost of a nice dinner.” She licked her lips. “You should have known better.”

My heart pounded in my chest as my stomach sank. I frowned, furrowing my brow, struggling to think of all those times Chase cautioned me against talking to Angela. Was it because he’d slept with her? Was he ashamed? Did he not want me to figure out what he was going to do with me? My cheeks burned bright red as I thought of how stupid I’d been. Maybe he and Nolan had a running bet over who could fuck the most naïve interns at Banks. Maybe I’d been hand-picked to be his consolation prize.

A wave of nausea overtook my senses, and I could think of nothing other than fleeing Angela’s apartment and her gloating expression. Turning on my heel, I ran down the hallway, holding onto the wall to stay steady. The world began to whirl around me in swooping waves. I stooped down to grab my bag, but it slipped out of my hands. My phone, lip balm, wallet, keys, and everything else inside scattered across the floor. I cursed and dropped to my knees. Sticking a fumbling hand under Angela’s couch, I groaned as I tried to find my wallet.

“Chastity!” Angela yelled from the hall. “You’re not going anywhere!”

Bang!

Angela’s closet door swung open. My eyes widened; my heart hammered. I let out a cry of fear when Nathan stepped into the hallway, grinning in a menacing way. His hands were balled into fists, and his eyes stared straight at me, so diabolically intense that it burned. From my current vantage point on my knees, Nathan looked menacing and huge.

Evil.

I cried out in surprise.

“What’s wrong?” Nathan demanded, reaching out a hand to help me up. I ignored it and tried to crawl away. “Surprised to see me, Chastity?”

I gasped. Climbing to my feet, I tried to dart around Nathan and grab the front door. But he was too quick for me. I hadn’t even gotten a foot away before I felt his hands grip my arms as he tackled me to the floor. I thumped down hard, my knees crashing to the wooden floor with a painful thud. I tried to scream, but the breath had been knocked from my lungs. The sound that came from me was more of a moan.

“Surprise!” Angela said with a cackle that raised the hairs on my arms. Her cold mocking voice made me flinch in Nathan’s grasp. “We’re gonna have so much fun tonight. Bet you never thought I’d have a darker side. Psych!”

I stared into Nathan’s face. His breath exhaled in hard pants, and he smelled like fried food. Burgers and fries. And danger. Gagging, I tried to push him away from my body, but his strength won, and he batted my hands aside as if they were pesky insects. As he pinned me to the floor, he climbed on top of me and sat with his legs on either side of my hips.

“Oh, yeah,” Nathan said, staring down at me. The black hatred in his eyes made him almost unrecognizable. “We’re gonna have fun, indeed.”