Lily lingered as long as she dared outside the earl's study, remembering the conversation she'd heard between Darby and Gregory before the captain had left to take Arabella on his next mission. Her husband had sounded disappointed about missing the trip. "My father is not quite recovered as of yet, though I must say the thought of whisking my beautiful wife away is not without merit. I long to see my Lily carefree again, sassy and up to her regular mischief. She is far too serious and secretive."

The words of her husband had touched her heart. He'd been so right. Secretive? Certainly, she had been. Serious, as well.

She sighed, approaching the earl's chambers. "How I wish we could sail away from reality," she murmured as she prepared to pay her father-in-law a visit. "But running away won't solve anything. I've tried it before. It's time to make a difference. I may not know how, but I can't stop until I do."

Knocking at the door, she paused to plant a smile on her face before heeding the earl's call to enter. "Are you alone, my dear? I thought I heard you talking to someone."

She doubted ladies of proper breeding were expected to talk to themselves, but she could not bear to lie to him. "I was giving myself a lecture on my duties, my lord. I so want to make you and Darby proud."

"And my wife is not making it very easy, is she? Come; sit by my side. Tell me, are you happy here? Is my son happy being home?" The sun shone through the large windows lining the library, and Lily had to move around a bit on the chair to avoid the glare. "I realize my wife has not been very welcoming, and I apologize profusely for that."

"It's not your fault, sir. I'm sure things will get better between us."

"And my son?" The earl leaned forward eagerly.

"The truth? I heard a conversation between Lord Darby and Viscount Smythe recently in the study. I know he would love to go back out to sea. The captain offered him another trip, but he hasn't mentioned it to me, so I'm assuming he won't be going this time."

He considered her words carefully. "And you, Lillianna? Is the countess making things too difficult for you? I will speak to her."

She lowered her eyes for a moment and then met his gaze once again. "I know the countess hates me," she confided, surprised at herself for doing so.

"Though she might have tried, the countess does not hate you. You are much too delightful for anyone to hate, my dear." He patted her hand. "I had hoped my wife would have warmed to you by now and shared the subject she dwells on so much. I wish it was possible for you to really get to know her. The countess is a loving, devoted wife and mother. We were married many years before we were able to have children. She doted on Charles when he was a boy. For some reason, our son's marriage set off a change in her. I'm not at liberty to tell you all her story; it's hers to tell, after all. But I'm growing stronger now. I should be able to take a more active role in guiding her through this difficult time…soon."

"Don't concern yourself with the matter, my lord. The countess and I will come to terms, sooner or later. She is warming to me. Have you noticed she eagerly invites me to her teas these days?"

The earl gave Lillianna a strange stare, as if he were debating saying more. "It pains me to say so, but her invitations have been…" Words seemed to fail him.

Ashamed of herself for teasing him, she helped him out. "Are you suggesting you and my husband are behind the warm, gracious requests? I guess that would explain the pinched expression on the countess' face when she offered. And here, I thought I needed to speak to the cook about avoiding sour foods during meals."

The old man started laughing but ended up coughing and pulling her in for a hug.

Lily gave a soft giggle. "Tell me, my lord, would you enjoy it if I read to you? Reading is one aspect of being a lady I have managed to master. My mother taught me from an early age."

"Where is your mother, now? She is welcome to come and stay here, if you like. I would love to meet the woman who raised such a delightful young lady."

"She passed away long ago, sir." Lily stood, admiring the opulence of the room. It was obvious that the earl loved books. One of the walls in the large room was lined with bookshelves which were quite full, and she felt herself drawn to them. "No doubt, she would have loved to see this grand place. Our own home was quite modest compared to this, but it was enough for us."

What she said was true enough; though her early childhood home had been modest, it had been lovely, and the thing she remembered the most vividly were the books her mother had read to her from the library. Those bookshelves had been full, too. But then her father had… She clamped down on the thought and refused to dwell on it further.

Lily didn't mention her father's fate and the scandal. She preferred to dwell on the few happy memories she had from her childhood, and she certainly did not wish the earl to know her father had fallen from grace in society.

Extending his arm, the earl indicated for her to select one of the books from the shelves. Her eyes came to rest on a title her mother read to her often as a child. "Hans Christian Andersen's Fairy Tales Told for Children," she read as she pulled it out. "Did my husband read this as a little boy?" Eager to hear of Darby's own childhood, she rushed back to the earl.

"Too often to recount." He smiled at her. "He was a rascal, that boy. His mother insisted he had to read aloud for an hour each day, claiming a future earl must be well read."

"How did Charlie, I'm sorry, Lord Darby prefer to spend his time?" Lily inquired, grinning at the earl's twinkling eyes.

"Charles loved to draw pictures of ships—he's quite good, you know—and balked at giving up so much time to read of other's adventures. He preferred to daydream of his own plans to sail across the ocean to new, exciting places. Anyway, when he could not convince his mother to relent, the boy set out to memorize a few of the tales in the very book you cradle in your hands. When his mother walked past my study, she could hear him spouting the words and had no idea he was really drawing plans for a great vessel to sail away from the task of being an earl."

Lily threw back her head in a delightful laugh. "Does my husband's love of the sea disappoint you much, sir?" she asked, holding the bound book close to her chest.

The older gentleman leaned his head back among the pillows and sighed before answering. He stared across the room, his face looking suddenly weary. "Being an earl is a tiresome, often thankless task, Lillianna. I must confess, I'm growing tired. There are things that need to be done in Darbyshire, tasks that need to be addressed, yet I find I haven't the inclination to do it these days. Having Charles here has been a great help to me. He'll make a quite capable earl when it is time for him to take over. But perhaps when I feel better…" He paused before turning to her and studying her face. "To answer your question? It pleases me that my son can enjoy his youth and experience freedom before being saddled with the role destiny has in store for him."

"You are a very wise man, my lord. Now, let us see if I can do justice to Anderson's stories."

"I believe you can do justice to whatever you set your mind to, young lady." He leaned back against the pillows and relaxed as she began. Within just a few moments, he drifted off to sleep to her calm, smooth voice.

* * *

Fun and games…

Lily stood in the study, trying to distract herself from thinking about the horrors of the mill. It would do her little good to make herself ill before she could figure out how to bring about any real change for the better. Darby wouldn't like it, either, and would likely take strong exception.

She wished her father-in-law was not in his bed, resting. The countess had taken to resting beside the earl these days, and Lily dared not visit him in his bedchamber, since a small part of her wondered if her mother-in-law was not doing her best to keep the earl away from her.

"What are you up to, my dear wife?" Darby appeared suddenly at the door, and she nearly lost her balance as she turned his way. "You are looking guilty, Lillianna. Beautiful but guilty."

Catching herself and pulling upright, she met his eyes straight on. "As shocking as you will find this, Lord Darby, I have been on my best behavior as of late. As a matter of fact, I am in here trying to find something to distract me from getting into mischief. I tried to converse with Winston, but he is a man of few words. He suggested I visit the study and leave him to his duties."

"Come now. He didn't say that."

"Well, not in those words, no. But I understood what he meant."

He grinned. "Don't lose heart. Those more versed in mischief than you have tried to break Winston's dedication to duty." Darby closed the door behind him.

Chuckling, Lily walked around the room, trying to find something to pass her time until she could sneak away to the mill. "Did you truly try to distract Winston when you were a child?"

"Oh, yes. From the moment I could walk and talk, I did my best to be a thorn in his side." Darby came behind her, pulling her back to his chest. "You could always talk to me, little one. I'll figure out your game, sooner or later. Stop keeping secrets and come clean."

"Game?" Inhaling his clean smell, she closed her eyes and tried to focus. An idea came within seconds. Turning around, she gave him a brilliant smile. "Surely, you have a deck of cards about, my lord. Did I not tell you I learned a great deal about playing when I was in the convent?"

Releasing her, he gave her a disappointed glare for not confiding in him but seemed to give in for the moment. "As I don't have any pressing duties this afternoon, I'd be happy to join you in a game or two." Reaching into a cabinet built into the shelves, he took out a dark wooden box and set it on the desk. Lily peered at it with interest as he opened it to reveal chess pieces and other game items inside. He grinned at her and raised his brow as he extracted a deck of cards and followed her to the sofa. Pulling up a small table toward the area in front of the hearth, he dragged a mahogany chair to it.

"For you, sweetheart," he said, motioning her to sit. Then he pulled up a leather arm chair and sat facing her.

"Do be careful with that chair, Darby. It's your mother's favorite. If she suspects we tampered with it, there will be hell to pay. I don't need another reason for her to dislike me." She leaned over the table toward him with a coy glance. "Shall we play a game of chance, my lord?" Lily's dimple peeked out in a tease.

Darby leaned toward her, as well, resting his elbows on the table and pinning her with a look. "Ah, but what will we wager? Are you hoping to win more funds for dresses? Your wardrobe is quite full, my love."

"I never wager money, Charlie. It would disappoint me greatly to know you did so, even on rare occasions." The sanction was out before she thought better of it, and her face grew rueful. "I'm sorry, sir. It's not my place to tell you what you may or may not do."

"Is that how your father lost all his funds, Lily? Gambling at cards?"

She was unable to bring herself to meet his eyes as she nodded. He reached across with one large, warm palm to pull her face up. "I rarely play cards, my love. From this moment on, I will never wager funds on such matters. But if we are not to play for coins, what is the point of gambling with cards? What did you use to bid when in the orphanage?"

Blushing, Lily reached up to draw his hand into her own. "You would likely think I was lying if I told you."

Pulling her hand to his lips, he kissed it gently. "You can trust me, always. If you say it's so, I'll believe almost anything you say."

"We played for clothes, my lord."

His smile vanished, as his mouth fell open. "You are jesting with me."

Lily realized Darby looked positively appalled at her suggestion. "I assure you, it's true, Charlie. Socks, especially, were worth quite a bit. Even shoes would be used to drive up the bidding. It did not matter if the size was too small, so long as they had little or no obvious holes. It is far better to have feet squished into a tiny shoe than to walk in the snow in ones that let the cold seep in."

Lifting her hand again, her husband sighed with relief. "Such innocence, I should have guessed. I, too, know of a way to play poker where clothes are used to raise the stakes."

Giggling, she pulled her hand away. "I don't want your shoes, my lord. They look nice on you, but they'd be quite ugly, indeed, on me. And as for stockings or dresses, as you said, I have a wardrobe full, now."

"After the game, we give back the clothes we win."

Lily stared at him. He was smiling, but if she didn't know better, she'd be tempted to accuse him of having a secret now. "It sounds rather fruitless to me, my lord, but I'll defer to your experience. If you'll give me a moment, I'll go and gather a few of my things to bid with."

He was grinning wickedly now. "There's no need, Lillianna. We play with only the clothes on our backs."

"You're playing with me, sir. If you lose your shirt, am I to rip it off your person?" Now she knew he was teasing her. "Where ever did you learn to play it this way?"

"Our last trip to New Orleans wasn't my first. And you aren't meant to rip the clothes off the loser's back. Rather, the losing hand removes her own things and forfeits them until the game is up."

She chewed her lower lip thoughtfully. "But wouldn't we end up being quite exposed, my lord?" Her eyes twinkled. "It's such a scandalous suggestion!"

He laughed with delight at her red face before getting up to bar the door. "I must warn you, my beautiful little wife. I am quite skilled at games of chance. Am I to assume two pair beats one? Three tops that? Shall I stoke the fire before we begin? I fear you may be quite cold before long."

Taking the cards from the table, Lily started shuffling them as if she frequented gaming halls. "My feet never went cold in winter, sir." She tilted her head in challenge. "Prepare to get very chilly in the coming minutes."

"Even if I'm stark naked, gazing on your exquisite curves will keep me quite warm."

"We shall see." She started dealing, her fingers moving so fast, Darby failed to see it when she grabbed several cards from the underside of the deck. "I have been known to draw four of a kind, my lord. Best of luck to you."

An hour later, Lily realized she had yet to fret about the mill since the game started. Darby sat across from her, regarding his cards with a guarded expression. She gave him an innocent look before asking if he wanted any more cards. "Two," he grumbled. "Did you notice, dear wife, that when you deal, the odds always appear to favor you? Cheaters pay a heavy price, Lillianna. You would do best to remember that when you hand me those next two cards."

He watched carefully, scowling as she flicked two cards his way, but it was impossible to see from where in the deck she took them.

"Did you notice, my lord?" she said, mimicking his exact tone. "How cranky and suspicious you become when you are losing at cards? Or is it the lack of clothes you're currently wearing which is irritating you? I can give you back a piece of your clothing, if you like." A mischievous grin lit her eyes. "Perhaps your cummerbund will warm you a bit."

Relaxing in her corset and shift, she still had her stockings and shoes on, whereas poor, unlucky Darby was down to his last vestige of dignity. Narrowing his eyes at her, he picked up his two cards and the briefest of smiles touched his lips before vanishing. She pretended not to notice as she regarded her own hand.

"Are you sure you wish to see this hand through to the end, my lord?" Lily made a production of frowning at her own hand. "I have taken up enough of your time today. I'll just pick up these cards and set the furniture back in place. You mother would be extremely displeased to know you sat upon her favorite chair wearing little more than the day you were born."

His voice was a growl. "Lillianna? You can return to your seat and finish this hand, or I will bare your arse, bend you over the arm of this damn chair and spank it bright red."

Lily took her seat reluctantly, frowning at him. "It's the cold leather on your bare legs making you cross, isn't it, my lord? Try not to stick to the seat, sir. Your mother will no doubt notice any sticky residue. And…" She looked up with a sly smile. "As you have nothing else to raise the bid, perhaps I should fold."

A smug expression crept into Darby's eyes. "It's too late for you to fold, Lillianna. It looks like your corset now belongs to me. I have three of a kind."

"Impressive, my lord, but…" She flipped over two cards bearing the same face. Then she slowly, one at a time, revealed two more cards, the only remaining members of the deck matching the first two. "I have two pairs."

"Four of a kind?" He stood up, his legs leaving damp imprints in his wake before he leaned over the table to glare at her. "You little cheat."

Carefully getting up, she moved to put the sofa between them. "It seems to be my lucky day. Don't be a sore loser, Darby." She straightened up, her shoulders back. "But I do believe you owe me your last piece of clothing…sir."

Darby glared at her for a moment before whisking off the last item covering his more intimate parts. She was shocked to see he was quite aroused and saw a chance to turn his mind away from her rather interesting way of keeping the odds in her favor.

"Wait, Darby. Once we put your mother's chair back in place, perhaps we can have a bit of fun before you return to your duties?"

Darby looked as if he was eight-feet-tall as he stood over her.

"Take off your clothes, Lillianna."

"Here? Right this moment? But someone might come and catch us."

"The door is locked. All of your clothes. Now. We are going to make love but not before I settle the score for your little slight-of-hand during dealing."

She gasped. "I don't know what you are talking about. Don't you think we should return to our bedchamber before we continue?"

"I want your bare arse over the arm of my mother's damn chair. Immediately. Every second you make me wait, you will receive ten extra strokes with my hand."

He wasn't bluffing, and she knew it as she rushed to do his bidding. "Your mother will surely notice any tears I shed on this chair, my lord." Her words were tumbling over each other now. "Please keep that in mind as you address any frustrations you might have about losing."

Throwing back his head, Darby laughed at her sassy response before using his hand to redden her bottom, ten hard strokes for every hand she had dealt during the game.

When he was finished, he stood her on her feet. He sat down on the chair, leaning back so his hips were just at the edge. He pulled her to straddle his legs and guided her slowly down until he was seated deep inside her. His strong hands lifted and lowered her hips until the pressure inside of her grew intense.

"Eyes on me, young lady," he said, his gaze deep into hers. Then he used one hand to tease her nub while the other reached around her to circle her rosebud.

Lily's eyes grew wide, and her mouth formed an 'O' as he slid his finger deep inside her bottom. At the same instant, she screamed her release, riding his hips and marveling in the patterns he traced on her clit. Unable to hold herself up, she leaned forward onto his chest and gasped for breath.

He held her there against him, threading his fingers through her red locks and waiting for her breath to return. "It looks like we both win today, my darling. Now. I will have your promise to never cheat in cards again."

"I will never try to cheat with you again, my lord," she promised. "But be warned. I mean to trick Winston into playing a game one of these days, though not quite in the manner you have introduced me to. But I mean to have his shiny shoes. While I may never get to wear them, it would be the crowning win of my card playing days. I shall give up playing, that day, and not a moment before."

Lily subsided into sleep that night, smiling as she thought of the games they'd played. She'd always be able to smile inwardly when the countess sat in her favorite chair, with no clue as to what they'd done. A niggling doubt formed in the back of her mind as she snuggled down into Darby's embrace, but she was too sleepy to recognize it.

But the next morning, as she passed the study on the way to the library, she heard the countess' voice call out loudly from inside it, "Winston!"

Lily turned and froze. Her hands flew to her mouth, her eyes wide, as Winston appeared and replied, "Yes, my lady?"

"My chair is slightly sticky. See to it the maid cleans it at once."

Lily gave a soft gasp, and Winston turned and glanced down the hall at her, catching her expression of culpability. He blinked, deep in thought, but his expression did not change.

She felt the redness creep up her neck and into her face.

He knew.

Her face became awash with guilt at the same time realization dawned on him, and she waited, holding her breath, for Winston to tell on her.

Seconds passed, as they stared at each other in the hallway. Lily was totally unprepared when Winston gave her a wink before turning back to the countess inside and bowing. "I'll see to it immediately, my lady," was all he said. But as he turned away, Lily was sure she saw a hint of amusement replace the solemn expression he usually wore.

Lily moved around the corner, still covering her mouth with both hands to stifle her giggles.

Perhaps Winston could keep his shiny shoes, after all.

* * *

The dress…

Pulling on the daring, low cut dress she had ordered without Darby's consent had been a last-minute decision. Lillianna had started noting a change in her generally flat tummy of late. Her gowns seemed to be getting tighter these days. The low-cut dress, however, was gathered under her breasts, and luckily, bore gathers that hid her belly a bit.

Coupled with her late menses, she realized her chance to wear the darling thing, at least while it was still in fashion, might be limited. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, thinking of Darby. Should she tell him? Not now, she decided. Not yet. Her missing cycle was probably only due to stress, and her expanding middle to the good food being served each day.

She groaned and made her way toward the ladies' parlor, where her mother-in-law insisted she would be hosting the tea this afternoon. Was she planning to expose Lily's lack of grace? The countess' eye lingered on her as she greeted her guests, moving around the room as if she was comfortable with the role assigned her, even if it made her knees week. Lily was quite good at hiding her inner fears. A lifetime of feeling unwanted had trained her to hide her insecurities.

"Your dress brings out the color of your eyes, my lady," Amelia said.

The countess even offered a word of praise, though it startled Lily. "My, but you positively glow in it." Her eyes settled on the low neckline, but she said no more.

To Lillianna, no more needed to be said. Apparently, her attire had been found wanting, even if her skill as a hostess was adequate. She would never be able to satisfy the countess. While she understood and felt sympathy for the countess, what was done was done. She was married to Darby. She loved him. Only death would part them. Lily wondered if the countess would be as rude to her children as she was to her. She loved her husband with all her heart. He would see to it that their children were taken good care of while at the home of the countess and the earl.

As if knowing her thoughts were with him, Darby appeared in the doorway. Lily smiled at him, silently rubbing her hand over her abdomen. He frowned at her, and she wondered at his expression of disapproval until she remembered the dress she wore.

Glancing down, she realized her breasts were showing entirely too much, but it could not be helped. "Well, hell and damnation," she said aloud before hearing the gasp of the countess and realizing where she was sitting. Most of the women gathered for the tea giggled, but the countess only sighed with disapproval. When the dress was fitted for her, it only showed a hint of bosom. Now, along with the slight growing of her belly, her breasts seemed to be getting larger.

"Ladies," Darby said, nodding to each of the guests. "I need to steal my wife. I am sure my mother will be able to entertain you in her absence."

"Surely, you can wait to speak with Lily until after the tea," his mother suggested in a tight tone.

"Surely, I cannot." He tucked Lily's hand into his arm and took her from the room.

Once inside their bedroom, Darby rounded on her. "Where did that dress come from? I expressly forbade such styles when we arranged your wardrobe."

Forging innocence, she kept her voice even. "You don't like it?"

"Take it off, Lillianna. Immediately."

"I will send for Rebekah. The buttons are on the back."

"You will not leave this room in that dress, now or ever again. Turn around." He made fast work on the dress. Her corset followed, and she was left standing only in her shift before long. "You and I are going to come to terms about things right now, young lady."

He sat on the bed and pulled her to stand between his legs.

"I have upset you, Darby?" Her fictitious innocence did him in.

Without warning, he placed her over his knee and smacked her bottom hard. "Does this answer your question?"

"It's just a dress, Darby. Your mother insisted I host the tea party, and this dress was the only—" She halted. There was no way she was going to tell him that her belly was expanding. Not now. "It h-helped me to feel less insecure."

"Wearing it, knowing it was something I have expressly forbidden, was disrespectful and will not go unaddressed." His hand landed a few more times, gaining strength. Then the lecturing began. Oh, dear God, she hated his lecturing! She would gladly accept more smacks if he promised to remain silent.

"I know all about my responsibilities, sir. They weigh down on me, day after day."

"Then let us talk about your stubborn pride, shall we? Others might not know you, Lillianna, but I certainly do. The more insecure you feel, the more prideful you become. I daresay the queen herself could not boast a stiffer back than you." As if he feared she was not feeling the full force of his disappointment, he moved her white shift up and over her waist. Ignoring the already reddened area, he continued on.

"It is my duty as your husband to take care of you, but I can't do that so long as you shut me out. It is time for you to accept things as they are, sweetheart. It's also time for you to share them with me. I realize things here at my parents' house are less than perfect, but nevertheless, they are what they are. When I get you home, things will be different. You'll be mistress of the house and you won't be subjected to my mother's ridicule or disapproval. But for now, you need to stop trying to lash out at other people when you feel hurt."

"Maybe you should be having this conversation with your own mother, Darby." It was spoken before she thought better of it. Her sobbing followed. It felt as if the world was pressing down on her from all angles. "I apologize, Charlie. I know I'm not perfect."

His hand stopped, above her bottom, and he turned her so she was cradled in his arms. "Lillianna, listen to me, my darling. I'm concerned about your disobedience, especially when it's something I've expressly forbidden. But what hurts the most is your failure to have trust in me to protect you. I know you have many things weighing on your heart. I know you feel responsibilities right now, however, you've refused to even share them with me." He tilted her chin upward and kissed her mouth gently. "Each day, sweetheart, I feel you grow more apart from me. What can I do to help? How can I protect you when you won't tell me about the demons that chase you at night, even when you lie in my arms? What is hurting you so? Perfect, Lillianna? You're perfect for me. That's all that matters."

She was sobbing hard now. No one was there to save her when her parents had died or when she'd worked in the mill. Oh, how she had dreamed of someone coming to rescue her then. In the end, however, she'd had to make her own way. Maybe fate had placed her in this manor for a reason. Was she the person destined to make life better for the workers at the mill? God surely had a purpose for her, even Chloe had said so. She had come a long way since childhood, almost full circle. Somehow, her experience would provide her with the means to bring about change. No, Darby could not fix things for her, this time. This was her fight.

"I'm trying, Darby. I really am. There is much I feel responsible for right now, but I am searching for a way to address those challenges. As for being prideful, I'm working on that, too. It's something I learned the hard way, as a lost child, trying to make my way in life without guidance or support. I had only myself to depend on, and sharing my burden is new to me. Although I know you would move Heaven and Earth to solve my problems, Charlie, it's necessary for me to handle some things on my own. It will give me a chance to reclaim my soul, to face my past and move into my future with my head held high."

Darby held her in his arms as she cried herself to sleep.

When she awakened, later in the afternoon, she looked around the room, only to realize Darby was not there. She realized how soundly she'd slept. It was her mother-in-law who was standing over her bedside, watching her closely. "Rebekah says you have not had your monthly in all the time she has served you," the countess said without preamble. "Are you with child, Lillianna?"

Lily had assumed she had no more tears to spend, but she was wrong. The expression on the face of Darby's mother broke her heart. When the countess observed Lily's sudden outburst of tears, she appeared to move closer, almost as if she intended to embrace Lily. Suddenly, however, she turned back toward the doorway, muttering in a low voice, "I thought so."