After we walked Father Francis all the way up to his door, we decided to cross through the back fields to the fiesta. It would take us a little longer to get there, but this way, we could avoid Ben, Mateo, Pablo and Dante as they headed to the religious celebration. They had never missed one before and seeing them again was inevitable. The thought made me feel queasy.
“I hope he chokes on those tomatoes.” I stomped my feet over the soil like an obnoxious four year old.
“I doubt he will.” John took hold of my hand and gently tugged it for me to slow down.
“Why?”
“Because he threw them out.”
“You know that’s not what I meant. We shouldn’t have gone there in the first place.”
“Anna, you were trying to find a friend. Obviously this Xavier guy left town. We should be grateful that nothing worse crossed his path. We didn’t have much choice anyway. It was either play the chess game and leave, whether we lost or won, or not leave at all. When Ben wants something, he doesn’t stop until he has it, and I can’t allow him to have everything he wants. A basket of tomatoes is a small price to pay. I’m not afraid to lose when the stakes are low, but I will win when they’re high.”
“So you let him win to keep him somewhat satisfied?”
“Yes. With Ben’s growing thirst for power, it will take a little bit more than one chess game to win the high stakes.”
We stopped just before reaching the old barn where the band was playing and people were dancing. One of the hall quarters was occupied by Ben and his clan. They were looking for something or someone, but didn’t seem like they’d found it. I shuddered.
“John, when I went to the back of the Bistro, I saw something. Something I shouldn’t have seen.”
“Did anyone see you?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Then you should forget about anything you saw.”
“But John, they’re smuggling money. Big money.”
I waited patiently until I had his full attention, and then added, “Twenty-five million. Mateo and Pablo are tired of their father and uncle running the business. They want to take over. They want to move on to bigger and better things. It sounds like the boys want to party. This may be our chance to get them out.”
“That sounds like it’s still beyond anything we can do. Anna, please don’t plan anything. Let this happen on its own, then. The boys have no entertainment here. Everyone’s backed away from the family. The life they thought drugs and criminal activities could buy them is pointless. Maybe with a little guidance from a higher power, they’ll move away on their own?”
This was one time I thought John was wrong. What if I could grease the wheels a little? What if I could find a reason for them to leave Pace? I pushed the thought aside, but if an opportunity ever showed, I knew I’d take it with my eyes closed.
“I hope you’re right because if they don’t, I swear that I will.”
“Come on. Forget them for a couple of hours, and let’s take part in the celebration.”
John took my hand again, and we walked down the small hill to the venue. The sun was setting by now. The bulls were secluded in the south, though my nose picked up the smell of their sweat and cooling adrenaline each time the wind blew.
We joined our friends and John’s parents on the dance floor. The barn was decorated in its usual festive ribbons. Bales of hay lined one of the walls where they were being used as a sitting area. The addition of white lights strung around each post and beam gave a special warmth to the evening. John spun me around and held me close.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Good. Relaxed, I guess.”
“You don’t sound relaxed.”
“It’s a little difficult when I think that there’s twenty-five million in cash just a mile away. Cortez is trouble.”
“Trouble you need to stay away from. Anna, you need to let it go.”
“I know. I’d never take the money. I just think it’s an opportunity to use what we know to get them out of town. Like, we could load it on a truck, tie a rope to the steering wheel, and put a brick on the gas, then make them run after it, right over a canyon.”
He laughed. “You know that would never work. The road isn’t straight. And I really believe that those guys will want to move out of this town sooner than later. There’s nothing to do here. They’re curious, full of energy and testosterone. They’ll leave, believe me.”
“I do believe you, but I don’t want to wait years. I want them gone now.”
My gaze darted to the corner of the dance floor where Mateo was leaning against one of the posts and eyeing me. He’d been staring since the moment we arrived.
“I was going to do this later, but I see that I have to keep your mind preoccupied right now. I have a feeling that this is the only thing that can help you relax.”
We stopped, and suddenly I felt like I was the center of attention as John knelt down in front of me. One of the boys from the church brought him a sunflower, and that’s when I noticed that the bloom had a yellow ribbon tied to its end. On the end of the ribbon was a ring.
John untied the ribbon and held the ring in front of me. My knees were shaking like a pair of maracas, and the barn was filled with whispers of anticipation. Was this really happening?
“Live for today,” he mouthed, and I smiled from above. “Joanna Maria Williams, will you do me the honor and marry me?”
Tears streamed down my cheeks. I caught Mrs. Hernandez crying as her son proposed.
“Yes, of course I’ll marry you.”
Cheers sounded all around, and music began playing. John slid the ring onto my left hand. It was modest and perfect. He then lifted me into his arms and kissed me hard. It was rare for him to display his affection for me in front of everyone, and I couldn’t have been happier.
We’re engaged.
The rest of the evening flew by without a hitch. We danced and laughed, accepted rounds of congratulations from family and friends, and ate way too many enchiladas. When we found a quiet moment on one of the hay bales, John wrapped his arm around my waist and brought me closer.
“What do you think about a Christmas wedding?” he asked.
“That soon?”
“Why wait? I love you. I want to protect you. I want you to be my wife.”
“John, you’re not doing this for my safety, are you? Because I’m fine at the house.”
“Of course not. But I honestly can’t wait to see the look on Ben’s face when you become my wife.”
“So it’s a territorial thing for you?” I teased.
“Partly, but mostly it’s an I love you kind of thing, you know.”
“I love you too.”
When John walked me home that evening, I didn’t want to let go. We stood at the threshold for what seemed like hours, and I couldn’t stop smiling.
I am engaged.
“Stay the night, John. Share my bed,” I whispered into his ear. He pulled me in closer, until my nose rested in the crook of his neck. I breathed him in and felt my breasts immediately react to the scent.
“You know I can’t. If I stay tonight, I won’t be able to resist you.”
“That’s why I’m inviting you, John.”
“We agreed to wait. And the dancing went on longer than I thought.”
I nodded. He was right. Waiting to be together until after we were married would be that much more special.
“Will I see you at breakfast?” he asked.
“Yes, I’ll see you in the morning.”
We kissed goodnight, and I went to the kitchen to cut up an apple. It couldn’t have been longer than ten minutes when I heard a vibrant knock on the door. At first, I thought John had changed his mind, but when I saw Ben’s face through the glass pane, I stilled with fear.
“Hola, chiquita,” I heard from the outside. The porch light illuminated Ben’s silhouette. It was almost ghostly. His brother and cousin were lurking in the shadows behind him as Ben swayed back and forth on his feet.
“Open the door, beautiful.” He knocked on the glass again, this time harder. The glass panes in the door vibrated.
I took a step back. My stomach filled with nerves and my heart pounded as I grabbed a carving knife from the kitchen drawer. I held it down by my leg, my grip slippery with sweat.
“Go home, Ben. It’s late.”
Instead, he pulled his arm back, covered his fist with a cloth he must have picked up off the porch, and punched through one of the glass panes. I jumped up as broken pieces shattered to the floor, and as soon as the initial shock wore off I hurried toward the door with my knife, jabbing it straight through his hand as he reached for the lock.
“Fuck!”
He yanked his injured hand back and kicked the door in. I ran around the kitchen table, screaming, “Get out!”
Ben approached with determination. When I looked into his eyes, I could see the devil lurking there. Mateo and Pablo followed him in, blocking me from the other side, and I wished that I had stayed at John’s, or that John had stayed with me.
“Not until I get what I want.”
My stomach twisted. I wanted to hurl. I wanted to run until my legs could not take me any further. I wanted to get as far away from here, from Pace, as fast as possible, but when I turned around to head for the front door, Mateo grabbed me by my ponytail. My body jerked backward as he pulled and twisted me around.
Ben closed the broken door and kicked the knife I’d dropped to the side. Blood oozed from his hand. He grabbed a cloth off a kitchen hook and pressed it to the wound. “You’re going to pay for this, mi carina.”
His words were calculated which turned the blood in my veins to ice. It was more difficult to breathe, and the room spun. Despite the resistance in my veins, my heart was pounding like a jackhammer.
Mateo stuffed something into my mouth and tied a rag around my face before I had the mind to scream. Even if I did, I doubted anyone would hear me. I thrashed and twisted, but my strength was nothing compared to the men’s. My body was thrown forward across the table. I stared ahead at Ben as he smirked, chewing his disgusting tobacco.
As Pablo held my hands over the table, I braced myself for what was about to happen and felt my heart constrict with pain. My first time wasn’t supposed to happen this way. It was supposed to be John, on our wedding night. The engagement ring on my finger slid off and fell to the floor as Pablo held my wrists together.
My dress was lifted from the back and Ben’s hands snaked up my inner thighs. Something cold touched my hip, and I realized that Ben had picked up the knife and cut through the fabric. My panties fell to the floor, and I began sobbing. He leaned down, the weight of his body over mine from behind. Nausea overwhelmed me as he whispered with his beer and cigarette-infused breath.
“I told you that you would be mine.”
I chose to forget the next fifteen minutes. Unfortunately, they’d be a constant reminder of this monster for the rest of my life.