***Doll***
Empty. I feel empty inside and there’s nothing I can do to change my life for the better. Just a few hours ago I thought I had it all. I finally felt as if I was alive again, like I could take on the world. Ramrod brought me back to his home, because I gave up and sagged in his arms, so here I am in a cold bed. There’s no one out there to trust and it seems like the only thing I’m waiting on is the thing my sister faced. Because I now know for sure she’s not alive anymore.
I mean how can she be when it was her boyfriend who kicked me around, flashed a gun, and was ready to take the lives of a woman and her baby? How can a person do that? Do they even have a soul? I whimper at the thought.
“Come on, baby, please let me hold you,” Ramrod croaks from beside the bed.
He reaches out but I instinctively scoot back, it pains me just as much as I can see the hurt in his eyes. Seeing everything is lost as it is and it’s just a matter of time, I might as well tell him…but I decide to ask him a question first. “The ones close to you, those you trust and know, would you pick them over a stranger?”
“I would stand for what’s right, find the truth and be my own judge.” His voice is fierce but doesn’t do anything to calm the rage of emotions running through my body.
“Remember what I told you? What happened, what I heard, what I’ve been through?” I swallow and watch as Ramrod gives me a nod.
Bracing myself, I let him know. “It was Rembrandt who was holding the gun, and his,”
“Fuuuuck, no.” Ramrod covers his eyes with his hand. “Are you fucking telling me it’s one of our own? That can’t fucking be, everyone is screened. Why the fuck would he do something like that?”
I’m taking short, shallow breaths as I watch Ramrod go downstairs. I didn’t even have a chance to get it all out, though I’m sure he’s connecting the dots, the cop. I understand it’s huge, but he could at least hear me out.
That is until I hear loud banging and it’s like the whole house is shaking. Rushing downstairs, I see Ramrod pounding his bare fists into the wall over and over again. With the fear I had for my own life, I can only imagine how it is for this guy right here.
Family, friends, people you trust for years go behind your back. Do you believe a person who stumbles into your life and turns everything upside down? Lies, trust, believing, truth, everything is mixed with dual emotions when tainted with doubt. Nothing will ever look or feel the same, it’s like seeing the world through different eyes.
I grab his biceps with both hands. “Stop. Please, Ramrod, stop.”
He stills mid-swing. His fists are raw and bleeding but the emotions running through his eyes are stabbing me right in the center of my heart. “I’m so sorry,” I croak.
Ramrod turns and scoops me in his arms, crashing me against his body. Minutes pass and with every second it becomes harder to breathe. He’s got me in such a tight lock that I’m struggling to draw air into my lungs, and yet it’s something we both need. A connection to feel grounded when everything around us falls apart.
“I’m the one who’s sorry.” Ramrod’s words whisper against the skin of my neck. “I never should have allowed one single thought of doubt, not even the split second I,”
“No,” I tell him and feel him freeze up, probably because he thinks I’m rejecting him the same way I did back at the clubhouse so I pull back and cup his face.
“I can’t imagine someone close to me capable of taking a step in a completely different direction…one where there’s no coming back from…one that takes lives down with him and changing everything you’ve known,” I tell him, my voice cracking due to all of the emotion that’s swirling around us.
“Months…fuck, I think it’s been over a year now since he’s been with us. We still call him new because we don’t take on that many prospects…I can’t even…” Ramrod buries his face into my neck again.
I gently tap his back when his arms start to tighten even more. “I need space to make my lungs inhale air, Muscleman,” I squeak.
There’s a soft rumble and although everything is still as screwed up as it was a few breaths ago, it seems the air has shifted between us.
“I don’t want to let you go.” Ramrod’s voice sounds pained. “I fucking hurt you without even saying one word. There’s nothing to say or do, but you have to know that I will show you from this day forward that it’s you and me.”
“But they are your brothers, your family…you just met me, how could you,”
His growl makes me swallow the rest of my words. “Before Lochlan told me how you saved Lips, Esmee…fuck…I never should have doubted you, and we should have sat down and discussed every angle there was in the shit you overheard and what they did.” Ramrod pulls back and looks at me. “I still need to know.”
“Where’s Lips…is she okay, are they looking out for her? Broke too. You need to make sure they,”
“The fuck?” Ramrod’s eyes go big.
“Shit. I feel so stupid right now…I thought it was just a coincidence. There are more people with the name Broke and it’s not like I saw a face with it or a last name or anything. All I overheard was that the ones at the top needed to die, Broke first, then the women and kids.” I grab his leather cut. “Please tell me you have other people watching them, or keep them in that safe room you had me in earlier.”
“Hang on to that thought, sugar. I need to call my Prez and make sure they keep an eye on everyone.” He reaches for his phone and by the sounds of it, relays my words.
Strolling over to the kitchen, I feel the need to do something. Although I’m not hungry, I do think I need to keep busy to get my mind off things and maybe eating will fade this headache that’s been building.
Checking the cabinets and the fridge, I find enough ingredients to make spaghetti. I feel Ramrod step up behind me when I’m stirring the sauce while keeping an eye on the spaghetti.
“That smells good,” he tells me while he runs his nose along the skin of my neck.
Tipping my head to the side I hum and add, “You’re talking about the food, right?”
He inhales deep. “Both,” he tells me before he turns the heat down and grabs the spoon from my hand and places it on the kitchen counter.
Grabbing me by my hips, he turns me and gives me a kiss that’s so sweet and slow it takes everything in me not to melt into a puddle at his feet. His hand slowly travels underneath my shirt and up to my breast. He growls when he feels my nipples harden under his touch.
“I need you,” he whispers. “I need to show you family comes first, and with this I mean you, us, placing you above even myself. That is what I didn’t realize I should have done. From the time you stumbled into my life, you never gave me one single reason to have me doubt you…I’m so,”
Leaning forward, I catch his bottom lip between my teeth and gently bite down, before letting go. “Cut it out, we’re moving forward and will grow stronger doing so. We’re building a relationship. We’ve got a lot to learn from each other and even with the hurt and hard truth…mistakes are made to shift forward and to learn from. We’re both in it for the future, right?”
“Fuck yeah, but I still feel like I should grovel a bit more. I need to drop to my knees and put my mouth to work, to taste what’s mine, so my brain follows.” He chuckles.
I groan. “Yeah, well…I should have told you every single word I overheard, maybe we should go over it again to make sure...dammit, you would have made more sense to it all…it only clicked in my head when I saw,”
“Can we stop talking now because I really need to show you how I feel instead of replaying what went fucking wrong,” Ramrod tells me before he strips me naked, picks me up and lays me down on the couch.
He pushes my leg up and instantly buries his face between my thighs. Ever so slowly he licks up and swirls around my clit. The way he’s got his eyes locked with mine is like he’s dead set on showing what he wants to give me. Pleasure, cherish, devour, possess. It’s everything I want to give him in return.
Though it might have felt like I lost him a few hours before, my heart is certain this was needed for both of us to realize what’s important in life. Us. No matter what goes on around us, what others say and do, it’s the part where we depend on each other and know without a single inch of doubt what we have is real and strong.
“I’m going to need you to count to three,” Ramrod tells me.
Confusion hits me. “What for?”
“Because I need to pace myself.” He gently blows his hot breath against my slick pussy. “So I just decided I’m going to make you come three times before you come around my dick one final time.”
His words make me shiver knowing very well he will follow through. He groans in contentment when I slide my fingers into his hair and pull him closer, rubbing my pussy in his face. This only urges me on to guide him exactly where I need him while he’s using that tongue of his in a way that’s going to guarantee I can voice a count of three in one breath.
Tingles build like a slow fire that spreads instantly through my pussy as it explodes into euphoria that hightails through my veins. My whole body becomes a slave to his touch as my orgasm overtakes my sanity. The only thing I can do is scream his name at the top of my lungs.
When I finally have some sense of the things around me and my body has gone slack, I feel Ramrod shake his face against me, growling, “Count, dammit.”
Well, shit. “One,” I pant.
He takes my ass in both hands as if he means business and was only warming up a moment ago. Nipping my clit, he spears my pussy with his tongue.
Pulling back, he’s got his gaze still set on me. “You taste so fucking good. In a world so fucking rotten, I’ve found the one good thing and I will fight like hell to fucking keep it. I’ve experienced letting you slip through my fingers and that’s a fucking darkness I am dead set to never let happen again. I intend to keep you solely for myself to cherish. You were made for me when clearly my heart was created to be filled with your love to make it beat for an eternity.”
Oh.
Wow.
He covers his mouth over my clit and it’s like his words triggered the second orgasm that he’s now sucking straight from me. My head falls back and his name tumbles over my lips as I let myself surrender to the adoration he spoils me with.