***Doll***

 

I can see the change in him when he goes from hot to cold. It’s instant, like going from light into darkness, a switch that’s been flipped. Reminding me of the change from the warmth of a nightclub filled with noises, changing into the freezing room I woke up all alone and tied up in. Even with the warmth I’m surrounded with now, it sends a shiver down my spine.

“Hey,” Ramrod’s voice snaps. “Are you okay? You just turned white as a snowflake in June, so shocked it’s tumbling and melting before it’s got a chance to fall down.”

 I give him a wry smile. “Yes, I’m just tired I guess.”

“I hate liars, so don’t. I don’t care how little it is…a lie is a lie.” He’s on his feet the next instant. “I’m going to take a shower and after that, I’ll clean up here. As I said, you can have my bed. Watch the stairs and for fuck’s sake…don’t count blows to the head instead of counting sheep. You need to sleep and not trigger nightmares, but that won’t happen…because you’re okay, right?”

I don’t know what to say. The sweet man from before turned sour because I said I was okay and just tired? It was a lie, a big fat one. Not that I have time to give him a word or two as an explanation, or an apology. Because he’s right. I could give him something, anything to explain why I can’t go home, or a hint of what happened.

I’m still thinking about what to do when he spins around and shoves a hand through his spikey dark hair. “Look, I’m not used to this. Like I mentioned earlier, out of my element here and not used to looking after a woman. Shit. I know how to look after a woman, just not in the hero way.” A groan slips past his lips. “Fuck. I just,”

“Go shower. I want to finish this delicious soup and then I’m grateful to use your bed for some sleep. I’ll explain tomorrow, okay?” I owe him that much for helping me get out of there and taking me into his home.

Ramrod doesn’t give me any words but just spins around and heads for the shower. I try to get a few more spoonfuls of the warm soup inside me before I bring the cups into the kitchen. Then I realize my mistake and speed walk back into the living room. Stunned, I sit down on the couch and try to get my breathing under control. Why doesn’t he use the shower curtain?

Oh, my freaking gosh. That ass. Sculpted from awesomeness, a dash of spunk, and some serious muscle. It’s made to run your nails over…made to clench while he’s thrusting. Oh. That would be a sight. There should be a mirror behind him when he has sex to observe the way his ass moves while he screws me silly.

Me? Hot damn. How did my mind go from him having sex to him doing me? I can’t. I won’t. I need to run. Not from him, though. Well, I could have a one-night stand with this guy, but everything about my body aches, and not in a good way. The beating I took yesterday, and today, took its toll. Lust and desire is something I can’t handle right now. Food, sleep, and getting the hell out of this state are my number one priorities. Hell, leaving the country might be at the top of my priority list right about now.

I grab another chocolate from the table and glance in the direction of the shower. I took enough from his kindness. Stealing two more chocolates, I take the stairs that lead to his bedroom. Well, not so much a bedroom, but more like just his bed, because there isn’t exactly room for anything else. Placing the two caramel filled chocolates on the shelf on the left, I notice a tiny book. When I pick it up, I see it’s a paperback of an author I’m very familiar with. It’s all worn out like Ramrod reads it every night before he falls asleep.

I need to swallow hard before I place it back. I loved that book. My sister gave it to me and we used to read it together when we were younger. When she moved out, I kept it in a little box with some other stuff I care about. But I never read it again. With everything that happened, and with this reminder, it’s all too much. I bury myself in the pillow and let the tears run free. I feel drained. The shower, the warm food, the clean sheets; my emotions are all over the place. I crash into darkness.

I’m dancing. Dancing with my two friends in the bar near the hotel we are staying at. There’s no sound. There’s never any sound when I’m dreaming, so I know it’s not real, but I can’t wake up from the nightmare, and it is because I know what comes next…bathroom break that would never happen. My sister’s boyfriend grabbed me and dragged me off. His fist in my face, rope around my wrists, a car drive, that dark bedroom…

Gasping, I wake up and try to scream. Try, since no sound is coming from my throat. I’m fisting the sheets and the t-shirt I’m wearing is unfamiliar and drenched in sweat. The whole room slowly becomes clear, jarring my memory that I’m safe. Well, safe from the hell I experienced from the moment when I was taken up to the point where Ramrod found me walking along that dark road. Ramrod. I scoot out of bed and see how he’s draped over the couch. He’s got a bedspread covering him.

I glance over my shoulder and swallow hard. I’m afraid to go back to sleep, to be alone again, to relive my nightmare on a loop. Very carefully I grab the sheet and take the stairs down, doing my best not to make a sound. I wrap the sheet around me and sit down in front of the couch on the floor.

Knowing this huge, kind man is behind me, I feel safe and know I won’t fall asleep and be reminded of everything. I release a heavy breath and place my chin on my knee, closing my eyes for just a second.

“You mind telling me why I’m breaking my back with sleeping on the couch so you can have my bed, only to find you on the cold fucking floor beneath me?” Ramrod is towering over me, growling out his words.

Acting on first instinct, I crawl away and hide in the corner where I cover my face with my arms. I have to protect my head for when he starts to kick me.

His voice is a low rumble. “Fuck me, I’m a damn idiot. A straight up asshole.” I feel a soft touch sliding down my arm. “Hey, sugar.” Two words that hold a truckload of sweetness cause me to lower my arms somewhat and I risk a glance in between them.

Ramrod’s kind, caramel eyes are filled with regret. He’s sitting on his ass in front of me, with his forearms resting on his knees. He’s not saying one word, he’s just staring at me.

I swallow hard and lower my arms completely. “A few weeks ago, Xena, Maureen, and I booked a two-week vacation that was to start a few days ago. A nice hotel with a spa near the street where Xena’s brother opened a bar three months ago. We went there almost every night for the last four days. Except two nights ago…”

Ramrod takes my hand and squeezes gently, urging me to continue.

I close my eyes and seek strength in the comfort Ramrod gives me with his tender touch and patience. “I needed to go to the bathroom and that’s when a guy dragged me off and kidnapped me. I managed to escape and that’s when you found me.”

I feel his fingertips brush my temple. “You left out a lot of details there, sugar. But it’s enough for now if that’s all you’re willing to share with me.”

Nodding, I take my fingers from his grip and wipe away the tears from my cheeks. When I blink, I see Ramrod already standing in front of me with his arm stretched out. Slipping my fingers over his, he grips me tight and lifts me up. Before I know it, he’s got me in a tight hug.

Damn, this man is huge. His body practically swallows mine. Rock hard muscle, from his belly to his chest, and then those arms…oh, his arms. I think they might be bulletproof. That’s how safe he makes me feel when he’s holding me like this.

I hug him tighter and rub my cheek against his pecs. It’s then I realize he’s not wearing a shirt. Just bare, sun-kissed skin with tattoos spread across it. He smells like Christmas. You might think I’m joking, but when you have that spicy fragrance filling your nose that’s a mix of a few things like cinnamon and ginger…it reminds me of standing in the kitchen, baking. I feel his arms start to loosen.

“No, no…not yet,” I mutter and tighten my grip on him some more.

His chuckle rumbles through his chest and it makes me even more at ease.

“I would have slept like a baby if I had this as a pillow.” I tell myself, except the rumble in his chest explodes into a barking laughter.

I let go and scowl at him for ruining the moment. He shakes his head and reaches out, going for my waist. I try to sidestep him but that earns me a growl before he grabs me and tucks me back against him.

“Just so we’re clear, Doll…I would have slept even worse than the night I’d spend on the couch. Damn. Just the thought of lying in my bed with you on my chest.” He lets go of me and steps toward the kitchen. “See? Just the thought does weird shit to my body that you don’t need right now. So, I’m just gonna make some coffee, or are you a tea person?”

“Coffee, please. I’m not a tea person in the morning, nor will I ever be,” I tell him as my eyes slide down to see he’s wearing sweatpants.

Black sweatpants that seem to…he spins around and with three steps he’s in the kitchen, his back is to me, probably to hide the bulge that seemed massive. So that’s the reason he let me go and changed topics. I feel my cheeks heat at the thought. I wasn’t thinking when I said I wanted to sleep on his chest. I might have spiked the wrong idea, or he knew what I meant, and his guy parts reacted at the thought of…yes, that must be it because now that I’m thinking about it, my lady parts are screaming for attention.

“Do you need an extra set of hands?” I croak, suddenly intrigued with the idea of helping him in any way he needs.

His head turns toward me, eyebrows raising to the ceiling in question. My eyes slide down to the place between his legs that’s still boasting the bulge from before.

Ramrod slowly shakes his head. “Sit down, Doll. The kitchen is too tiny for whatever you have in mind. I got this.”

“Faith,” I state.

His eyes widen. “Say what?”

“Faith, that’s me. My name.”

“Holy shit. Gotta have some faith…pretty damn right in your face and rub it in,” Ramrod mutters.

A huge smile slides on my face. “Can’t say I’ve ever had such a reaction to my name.”

“One hell of a coincidence, or my mind is just fucking with me,” he whispers in awe before he clears his throat.

Uhmmm…I have no clue what he’s rambling about, so I just say what my parents used to say, and the reason they picked the name. “Open your heart, and let her in…the world wouldn’t be what it is today if we didn’t have faith.”

“Fuck. Me,” Ramrod mutters and steps back, clearly shocked.

Suddenly I feel amazing. I’ve managed to throw this big guy out of his element, although I have no clue why. He’s even blushing from my words.

I plant my ass on the couch and tell him, “Not right now, we’re having coffee first, right?”

Grabbing the remote off the table, I turn the TV on and flip through some channels. Inside I’m tingling all over, aware of my own skin while trying to tone down the smile that’s so huge my cheeks are hurting. From the corner of my eye, I can still see him gripping the kitchen counter, frozen in place. He stays like that for a few more minutes before he kicks into action, the room filling with the sound and smell of freshly brewed coffee.